MAHIRA
I've done a lot of crazy shit in my life for the sake of love, hoping it would result in some happy ever after. I think sometimes I forget that I was not in some bollywood movie or romance novel because genuine feelings alone weren't enough to win someone's heart. You could love someone with all your heart but that still wouldn't be enough to win theirs.
Yet here I was standing at Thane's doorstep,with enough guts to tell him for the 25th time that I had feelings for him, I'm not sure what I even expected because all I've ever gotten was rejection. Despite being aware of the possible outcome of my stupidity, I knocked on the door until he came to open it, half naked. It wasn't the first time I had seen him half naked that's for sure but I guess it wasn't the third time either, just the second.
I shook my head to clear my thoughts and offered him the rose in my hand before confessing my love again like a stupid high school girl with no sense of self respect.
"Thane... well...we...well, I really do love you, please give me a chance just once. I promise you won't regret it".
Thane looked at me, his eyes a little pained, saddened or perhaps mocking,i wasnt sure which exact emotion they reflected but it was something soft, yet rude, gentle yet rough, like your 7 year boyfriend telling you that you're amazing but you're not quite enough for him, you see positivity with a mix of negativity, the perfect balance of an advantage and disadvantage.
Before he could say anything, a girl came to the door, she was beautiful, nothing like me, she had flawless skin, thin lips and hair as long and beautiful to complement her looks, she was wearing only his shirt and she had hickeys all over her.
I shouldn't be surprised , really I shouldn't but I nearly lost my balance as I looked at the woman from head to toe. She was far from perfect, perhaps I could say she was everything a man could ever want from a woman.
His girlfriend looks at me, her nose cringing as she takes in my form with disgust. I felt her gaze burn through my skin and I was suddenly self aware, shame creeping through whatever walls of confidence I had managed to build after finding out that Thane was in America as well.
Tears burned through the layer of my eyes, threatening to spill. I'm not sure what I expected, I was stupid, he always did this, somehow it was easier for him to choose someone new but it was always the option that was never considered.
I tried to imagine the look on Kaashvi's face when she found out what I did. She had worked so hard to achieve her dreams and the moment she got a break she brought me here to America to start afresh, away from thane, away from my past, away from everything that had its tight grip on me.
Kasshvi was finally a k-pop idol like she had always wanted, she had a stable relationship too and here I was holding on to a guy who didn't want me.
Despite moving to a new county I still loved him. When I got home I went to the bathroom and turned on the shower, ensuring that the heat of the water was scorching high, maybe it would wash off the shame and let me forget everything I did to embarrass myself. I let the tears fall now, hidden from the judgemental eyes of the world but the image of Thane was permanently imprinted in my brain like a tattoo.
I'm not sure how long I had stayed in the steaming hot shower but I felt like my soul had been sucked out, leaving only flesh and bone that was further away from being filled with anything strengthening. My vision blurred as I tried to blink to bring it back and soon enough the darkness engulfed me in its embrace.