Tiffany Haddish Presents: Kids Have Amnesty…SAY…What!?
Inside the Mind of a Kid—Feelings, Freakouts, and Full-On Honesty
Inspired by the TV show and the fearless humor of Tiffany Haddish. For more on Tiffany, visit tiffanyhaddish.com.
Amnesty Day—No Time-Outs, No Filters, No Mercy
Hand a kid a mic and a guarantee that nothing they say will get them grounded, and you're about to hear the kind of emotional truth bombs that would make a therapist take notes. From snack-time sadness to bedtime betrayals, here's what kids really feel, straight from the heart—and the funny bone.
The "I'm Fine" Fib
"You ask if I'm okay and I say 'fine,' but really, I just want to know why you won't let me eat ice cream for breakfast. That's the real issue here."
The Bedtime Betrayal
"You tell me to go to bed early, but then I hear you laughing at TV shows and eating popcorn. So basically, bedtime is just adult party time. Rude."
The Sharing Struggle
"You say sharing is caring, but every time I ask for a bite of your food, you say, 'This is spicy, you won't like it.' I know a decoy when I see one."
The "Because I Said So" Burn
"'Because I said so' isn't a reason. It's just what you say when you run out of real answers. I'm onto you."
The "I'm Not Tired" Truth
"I'm not tired, I'm just bored. If you want me to sleep, make bedtime more interesting. Maybe with a story about dinosaurs fighting robots. Or, you know, let me stay up."
The Sibling Sigh
"My little brother gets away with everything. I sneeze and you act like I started World War III. He draws on the wall and you say, 'He's creative.' Where's my art show?"
The "Healthy Snack" Hysteria
"You say carrots help me see in the dark. I ate a whole bag and still tripped over my shoes. I call false advertising."
The School Day Drag
"Seven hours of school and you call it 'learning.' I call it 'waiting for recess.'"
The "Hurry Up" Hypocrisy
"You tell me to hurry up every morning, but you take forever to find your keys. Maybe we both need a time-out."
The "Big Feelings" Breakdown
"Sometimes I cry for no reason. Sometimes I laugh for no reason. Sometimes I do both at once. Welcome to my TED Talk."
The "I Love You" Loop
"I say 'I love you' and you say it back, but if you really loved me, you'd let me have a puppy. Or a pony. Or at least a second dessert."
The "Grown-Ups Don't Get It" Grumble
"You say you remember what it's like to be a kid, but I don't see you trying to fit into a locker or eat glue. Just saying."
The "Why Can't I?" Whine
"Why can't I do what I want? You get to! When I'm a grown-up, I'm eating cookies for breakfast and never making my bed. It's called freedom."
The Ultimate Verdict
"Look, I've got a lot of feelings. Sometimes they're big, sometimes they're weird, but they're always real. If you want to know how I really feel, just ask—and maybe bring snacks."
Special thanks to Tiffany Haddish for keeping it honest and hilarious. For more, visit tiffanyhaddish.com.