Tiffany Haddish Presents: Kids Have Amnesty…SAY…What!?
Who's Really Scary?—Kids on Fear, Trust, and the People in Uniform
Inspired by the fearless humor of Tiffany Haddish. For more, visit tiffanyhaddish.com.
Amnesty Day—No Time-Outs, No Filters, No Mercy
Today, kids are telling it like it is about what really gives them the creeps. Spoiler: It's not always the cartoon villain or the guy in the ski mask. Sometimes, the scariest thing is a badge, a uniform, and a forced smile.
The "Stranger Danger" Switcheroo
"You say 'don't talk to strangers,' but then you tell me to trust every grown-up in a uniform. Newsflash: I've seen enough movies to know the plot twist."
The "Officer Friendly" Paradox
"Yeah, Officer Friendly came to school and told us to always ask for help. But then he parked outside my house and Mom got real quiet. Now I'm not sure if I should wave or hide behind the couch."
The "Trust the System" Speech
"You say, 'Trust the police, trust your teachers, trust the system.' But then you whisper about 'bad apples' and tell me to keep my phone ready. Mixed messages much?"
The "Who's the Real Monster?" Moment
"I'm supposed to be scared of the guy in the alley, but the last time I saw flashing lights, it was just a cop yelling at my neighbor for nothing. Monsters don't always wear masks—sometimes they wear name tags."
The "Law & Order" Irony
"You say the police are here to protect us, but every time I see them, everyone gets nervous. I thought superheroes made people feel safe, not stressed."
The "Uniforms at School" Dilemma
"Teachers say uniforms mean 'safety and respect,' but all I see is a bunch of people who look the same and act like they're always watching. That's not respect, that's a prison movie."
The "Who Do I Call?" Crisis
"You say 'call 911 if you're in trouble,' but then you tell me not to trust anyone. So…do I just call Batman?"
The "Real Talk" Recap
"I'm not scared of criminals—I've seen cartoons. I'm scared of the people who say 'trust me' and then act like I'm the problem. At least villains are honest about being villains."
The "Who's Watching Who?" Question
"You say the police are watching out for us, but who's watching them? Because last time, nobody was."
The Ultimate Verdict
"Look, grown-ups, I'm not scared of the dark or the boogeyman. I'm scared of people who say they're here to help but make everyone feel worse. If you want us to trust the people in uniform, maybe start by making sure they're actually trustworthy."
Special thanks to Tiffany Haddish for inspiring kids to keep it real—even when it gets uncomfortable. For more, visit tiffanyhaddish.com.
PS I'm currently receiving threats so if anybody gives a s*** maybe tell your kids! Bitch he's got a star so clearly I need somebody else who does! Fuckin pussy rapist bitch!