"It all started in 1973, in a seemingly tranquil autumn that was actually brewing with undercurrents..."
Alan's voice, raised in a mock-dramatic tone, echoed through the recreation room of Arkham Asylum. The inmates sat in a captive audience, subdued by his tyrannical might, listening to him brag about the events of his third timeline. Most just treated it as entertainment, a madman's fantasy, but a few listened with unnerving focus.
"I have a question."
Edward Nygma, the Riddler, raised his hand, ever eager to intellectually defeat Alan, always ready to pounce on any logical loophole.
"My dear Riddler Robin, I permit you to ask one constructive, in-depth question." Alan, calm and composed, accepted the challenge.
Edward pushed up his glasses, asking with confidence, "How did you know the Uni-Power would arrive with the Phoenix, and how did you know it would choose you?"
"Excellent question." Alan stood with his hands behind his back, an expression of "all is as I expected" on his face. "Didn't I mention visiting S.H.I.E.L.D. and meeting my old acquaintance, Carter? She was the one who told me about the Uni-Power in advance."
"Then how did Carter know about the Uni-Power?" Edward pressed, seizing the key point.
"It's only natural for Captain America to travel back to World War II, reunite with Carter, and tell her a few things he knew from the future," Alan answered calmly.
Indeed, Carter had been the one to warn him about the Phoenix's arrival. At S.H.I.E.L.D., he hadn't just been asking about Stryker; he had also been informed about the impending crisis. The only solution, she had insisted, was Alan himself, as only he was worthy of the Uni-Power's recognition.
At this, Edward wisely fell silent. He had seen the symbiote-clad Captain America in the fortress beneath Arkham. It all made a terrifying amount of sense.
Why hadn't Alan revealed the truth in the mutant timeline? Well, who would believe a madman? The idea of the Phoenix Force was so fantastical, so unheard of, that at that time, most people were still debating whether aliens even existed.
The Riddler and the Penguin were convinced. The others, however, were openly disdainful.
Ahem…
Alan cleared his throat, drawing everyone's attention back. "The Phoenix host, Jean Grey, transformed into a god-like being. Blessed with the Uni-Power, I temporarily became Captain Universe. That battle was earth-shattering, the sun and moon dimmed, the stars shifted, and gods and demons wept. Atlantis, which had just resurfaced, sank once again…"
"The Phoenix, exhausted, was defeated. She knelt before me and proposed marriage. But I, the dignified Banana Daoist Heavenly Venerable of the wild African continent, and the Chief Commander of the Iron Dimension's Ultimate Iron Guard, could not be bound by such trivial matters. I resolutely rejected her admiration, and the Phoenix died of a broken heart."
Alan habitually flicked his hair back. "Alas, my damned, natural charm. I could never bring myself to hurt all the women in the world for the sake of one."
The inmates' faces contorted in disgust.
"Master, so cool!" The only one to show support was the simple-minded Nanaue.
"Don't mention my only good quality. I'm very shy," Alan said seriously. If you're shy, then there are no shy people in the world.
During Alan's absence, Arkham had been remarkably calm. The four Robins had wisely stayed put, unaware of the situation in Gotham. But the increased security guard presence told them that the city was not at peace.
A rainy night, a common sight in Gotham. The year-round gloomy weather gave it a British feel, just without the lingering scent of sewers. The Bat-Signal was lit, its symbol of fear carving through the dense rain.
Commissioner Gordon stood under the eaves of the police headquarters, watching the relentless downpour. He silently pulled out a classic Camel cigarette and lit it. He took a deep drag, the smoke filling his lungs before he slowly exhaled.
Recently, Gotham's guardian knight, Batman, had once again vanished. After the last vampire invasion, the people of Gotham were more anxious than ever. New incidents of vampire-like predation had been reported. Fortunately, they were small-scale and had been successfully covered up by the police, avoiding mass panic. Gordon, who had quit smoking years ago, had started again to alleviate his inner turmoil. Though he was the Commissioner, he held fast to his principles, refusing to accept bribes. Otherwise, a man of his status would be smoking a fine cigar. The path of justice was often accompanied by poverty…
The cigarette burned down to the filter, the stinging pain bringing Gordon back to reality. He subconsciously dropped the butt, his gaze still fixed on the figure of Batman who had appeared beside him.
"Are you narrating again?"
From the moment he had lit the cigarette, Alan had been providing a running commentary, causing Gordon to forget to take a second drag. If the real Batman hadn't warned him that he could seek help from this particular "Batman" if he was unavailable, Gordon would have already pulled his gun.
"It's hard being the protagonist these days. Sometimes you have to moonlight as the narrator," Alan lamented.
"…" The mind of a madman was incomprehensible. Gordon knew he had to stick to the point.
"How did you know Batman was missing?" Gordon asked.
"No need to guess," Alan said knowingly. "It must be the Court of Owls, running him around in circles." The Court of Owls was a dead end. A secret society of Gotham's elite, it was impossible to dismantle them completely. Bruce's no-kill rule meant that even if he arrested them, they would be out the next day. They were deeply hidden and rarely acted directly, making them incredibly difficult to target.
"How did you know about the vampire attacks?" Gordon had been about to discuss this with Batman and hadn't told anyone else.
"On my way here, I saw a body, drained of blood, still warm. I guessed the bloodsuckers were back," Alan said, pointing. "In the alley between those two buildings. You can send someone to verify."
"I will," Gordon said. The half-blood leader was dead, but the world was not free of vampires. They were likely gathered in Gotham, plotting something.
"I'll find Batman and protect Gotham."
"We're counting on you."
"Yee-haw!" Alan fired his grappling gun, swinging through the towering, rain-slicked buildings of Gotham.
In a dripping alley, a scene reminiscent of Bruce Wayne's parents' murder. A middle-aged woman in a trench coat ran into a dead end, five burly thugs blocking the exit, their faces leering as they approached.
"Stay away from me! I can give you all my money!" The woman frantically pulled out a handful of crumpled bills from her purse.
One of them snatched the money and brandished a gun. "We want more than just your money. We want you to help us let off some steam."
"Please, let me go!" the woman begged, terrified. "My little son is waiting for me at home. He's only six, and he's afraid of the dark."
"Afraid of the dark?" one of the men sneered. "Are you discriminating against us?"
"No, I'm not!" The woman trembled as the five men closed in.
"Stop, you scum!"
A boy in a uniform stood at the mouth of the alley, a metal staff pointed at them.
"Damn it, it's Robin! Batman must be on the roof, ready to ambush us!"
"Watch out for his dropkick!"
The five men raised their pistols, their eyes darting to the rooftops, searching for Batman. This infuriated Damian. They were completely ignoring him.
"You bastards! Is Batman all you know?!" Damian roared.
"Don't be ridiculous. You're the distraction, and he's the ambush. Do you really think we're that stupid?"
Hearing this, Damian was even more enraged. Seizing the opportunity, the woman fled the alley.
Just as Damian was about to attack, one of the men shouted, "Look out! Something's falling!"
Thump… Thump, thump… Thump, thump, thump…
A basketball dropped from the roof, bouncing on the wet pavement. The five men stared at it, completely bewildered. Why would Batman throw a basketball at them?
Alan, having appeared out of nowhere, stood beside Damian. "To stop thugs from assaulting a woman," he said smugly, "all you need is a basketball."
Damian grinned. For the first time, he understood Alan's bizarre logic.
"Hey, fellas, I think he's discriminating against us."
"I don't feel it. All I can think about now is playing basketball."
"Let's deal with the kid first, then find a court for a good game of half-court."
"Good idea!"
"I agree!"
Less than a minute later, the five men and the basketball were violently stuffed into a trash can.
Alan and Damian walked out of the alley, arm in arm.
[Chapter Complete]
***
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