On the skyscraper rooftop.
"In the month you were gone," Damian began, "the vampires have made a comeback."
"What is their obsession with Gotham? This city is so big, so many others are already filled with junkies. They would be a much better feeding ground for vampires. Here, in Gotham, in the Justice League's territory… it's like they're begging to be beaten up by a whole host of superheroes," Alan said, indignant. "Is my reputation not terrifying enough to keep them away?"
"…" Damian couldn't answer that. To be honest, most people just saw Alan as a madman, not a terrifying figure.
"The vampires invading Gotham now are not the same group," Damian explained. "The Court of Owls has hired Dracula as an outside consultant. The other group is from the Thirteen Princes. It's a mess. I don't even know who to fight."
"Why even think about it? Just beat them all up," Alan said, flicking his cape with a flourish. "Gotham is off-limits to vampires!"
Talk was cheap. These new vampires were purebloods, masters of blood magic, far more formidable than the half-blood lackeys they had faced before.
"The purebloods don't seem to have any ill will towards Gotham," Damian clarified. "They're here for Dracula." It would be foolish to make enemies of potential allies. Besides, with Bruce gone, Damian felt like he was flying solo. And with the Court of Owls' Talon army to consider, he, a mere teenager, was feeling a bit overwhelmed.
"Speaking of which, when did Batman disappear?" Alan got to the point. Bruce wouldn't leave Gotham unless something major had happened.
"He said he had something important to do, but he didn't specify," Damian said with a sigh.
"What's meant to be, will be. Batman just wouldn't listen," Alan said, having a good idea of what kind of foolishness Bruce was up to. A middle-aged, rebellious Batman needed to be taught a lesson by the harsh realities of the world. "Don't worry, the Hilarious Bat will turn the tide. For now, I'll scout out the situation and formulate a plan." With that, Alan vanished into the night.
(TL NOTE: Changing comedic Bat/Batman to Hilarious Bat/Batman)
In a subway tunnel.
Homeless people often sought shelter here, especially on rainy nights. Suddenly, a figure flashed by. A man, startled from his sleep, looked around drowsily. At the top of the stairs, a blonde woman in an exotic, gauzy dress was descending.
It had been years since the man, divorced and bankrupt, had been with a woman. His chronic illnesses from years of homelessness prevented him from any strenuous activity. But seeing a woman who looked like a plaything for the rich and famous, he couldn't help but stare with longing.
"I'm bored tonight. I'm looking for a little fun," the woman said, her voice bewitching.
"Beautiful lady, I would do anything for you," the man replied, mesmerized.
"Thank you so much," she said, her fangs suddenly glinting.
"Ew…" a voice interjected.
Alan, who had been leaning against a nearby wall, spoke with disdain. "You vampires are so unhygienic. This guy hasn't showered in years. The grime on him is as hard as rock armor."
"Batman?" The woman looked at him, confused. This voice, this tone, this… aura… it didn't seem like the real deal.
"The Hilarious Bat, at your service," Alan said, spreading his cape. "Are you one of Dracula's brides?"
"You know quite a… ah!" Before the vampire bride could finish her sentence, Alan shone a UV flashlight in her face, and her skin began to smolder.
ROAR!
The next second, the vampire bride revealed her true form, a giant, humanoid bat, and roared at Alan in fury.
He pressed a button on the flashlight, activating its strobe mode. The high-frequency flashing UV light caused the vampire bride to hiss in pain, and she covered her face with her wings.
Hi-yah!
With a flying kick, Alan, now with the strength of thirty-six men from his three maxed-out classes, sent the vampire bride flying into the wall. She was embedded halfway into the concrete.
"What are you doing!?" The homeless man, who had been expecting a romantic encounter, now saw the beautiful goddess transformed into a horrifying monster and beaten senseless. He was furious.
Alan held up a folded ten-dollar bill between his fingers. "Disappear from my sight."
"Yes, sir!" The man snatched the money and ran, leaving his meager belongings behind. Money, it seemed, was more attractive than beauty.
Alan walked over to the vampire bride. "Will Dracula come to save his wife?" he wondered. "If he's a playboy, he could just replace her. That would be a miscalculation."
In fact, Alan hadn't intended to fight her directly. He had wanted to talk. If she had a goal, he could help her achieve it, then get her to leave Gotham. Of course, if her goal was too dangerous, he wouldn't hesitate to eliminate her. It was said that Dracula was immortal, but Alan thought that was a minor problem. Just weld him into a silver coffin and drop him in the Pacific. Good riddance.
"Dracula doesn't care about his brides."
A new figure appeared at the top of the stairs. A woman in a denim jacket, leather boots, and a wide-brimmed leather hat, dressed like a bounty hunter from the Wild West.
"The Hilarious Bat, Alan," Alan introduced himself. The newcomer's words suggested she wasn't an enemy.
"Vampire hunter, Marian Van Helsing." As she spoke, Marian raised a crossbow from her waist and fired.
Alan dodged back just in time to see the bolt pin the vampire bride's shoulder to the wall. Misunderstanding, he thought. The vampire bride had woken up and was about to attack him while he was distracted.
"You're a descendant of the Van Helsing family?" Alan asked, intrigued.
"Probably the last of my bloodline," Marian replied, looking at him with surprise. "You've heard of my family?" The Van Helsing family specialized in hunting vampires and was only known in monster-hunting circles. Other factions had no reason to know of them, though sorcerers sometimes sought them out for vampire-related materials.
"I've seen vampire movies. The Van Helsing family is an essential element. There's even a standalone Van Helsing movie."
"…"
[Chapter Complete]
***
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