chapter 1
Cletus Fuddpucker wakes up with a hangover thick enough to make his skull hum like a kicked beehive. The world around him doesn't make a lick of sense. One moment he's passed out behind the Piggly Wiggly, dreaming about hot sauce and demolition derbies, and now… he's lying flat on his back in a world that shimmers with twilight and danger, beneath a sky of bruised violet and crawling black fog.
His first thought: Shit, what did I drink this time?
"That asshole… where the heck am I? Did I wander into a forest?"
A thunderous snarl erupts from the bushes, followed by the sound of claws tearing through bark.
A green wolf leaps out of the brush, its eyes glowing like emerald fire. With a snarl, it opens its jaws—and from its maw, a sharp blade of wind surges forward, slicing through the air straight at me.
I dive to the side, but the blade clips my shoulder, tearing through flesh with a burning sting.
"Ahh—! You motherfucker!" I growl, clutching the wound.
"Take this, you damn mutt!" I grab a fallen branch off the ground and chuck it at the wolf.
The green wolf casually swipes its claws, shattering the stick into splinters without even looking.
"Crap," I mutter, scrambling to my feet and bolting. I barely make it to a rocky slope before the wolf slams into me from behind, its claws raking across my back. I cry out, struggling beneath its weight—then, without thinking, I shove it with everything I've got.
Flames burst from my palm and hit the wolf square in the face.
[You have killed: Rank F – Forest Wolf]
[Mana Core available. Absorption possible.]
"What? Who said that?" I glance around, but there's no one in sight. "Is someone messing with me right now?"
"Let's think… there's no one around, so either I'm going crazy, or this is like one of those novels where you get reincarnated," I mutter.
Then an idea hits me.
"System?" I say aloud.
System Activated
Name: Cletus Fuddpucker
Mana Core: Rank F
Soul Core: Rank F
Talent: Blaze Inferno – Allows one powerful last-stand attack per day
Skill: Fireball [Level 1]
"What the fuck… did I just get isekai'd?" I mutter, eyes darting around.
Right then, a glowing message appears in front of me out of thin air.
[You have been teleported to the world of Gia. To return to Earth, you must locate a settlement.]
"Well, that's just great," I grumble. "Whatever… the system said I can absorb the core, so where is it?"
I look around the charred corpse of the wolf but see nothing glowing, nothing obvious.
"Is the core… inside the wolf?"
I sigh, grab a sharp rock nearby, and start hacking at the burnt body. It smells like charcoal.
"Sorry, Fido," I mutter. "But I need your shiny insides."
With the green mana core in my hand, I try to absorb it—nothing happens. I shout at it, try willing it, even shake it like it owes me money. Still nothing.
Then a bright idea hits me.
"...What if I swallow it?"
I stare at the core—it's about the size of an orange.
"What the fuck am I thinking? That'll kill me!"
"Whatever it said, I have a skill called Fireball. So… how do I use it?" I mutter.
I focus, imagining flames wrapping around my hand. Heat rushes up my arm, and fire bursts to life in my palm. I point at a nearby rock.
The fireball launches forward and explodes on impact, shattering the rock into chunks.
A surge of energy floods my body—it sparks another idea. I grab the green mana core and try to push that same energy into it. A moment later, it comes rushing back, stronger than before, pulsing through me like a wave.
Curious, I open the system panel.
System
Name: Cletus Fuddpucker
Mana Core: Rank F
Soul Core: Rank F
Talent: Blaze Inferno – Allows one powerful last-stand attack per day
Skill: Fireball [Level 1]
"Whoa… this feels amazing. Even my hangover's gone! I feel a little stronger too—hahahaha! Time to go kill some wolves!"
I pause, thinking back.
"Wait… now that I think about it, my Fireball was way weaker than that first attack I used on the wolf. Hmmm… must be the talent. It said something about a powerful last-stand attack. That's probably why I one-shotted that Forest Wolf."
"Alright, let's find more of those furry bastards." I head off into the woods, eyes peeled for any sign of another Forest Wolf.
Within an hour, I find three. I manage to kill them—though the last one gives me trouble. For some reason, I can't cast Fireball again after the second fight.
Luckily, I absorbed the mana cores from the other two. The boost in strength is enough. With that power coursing through me, I take down the last wolf barehanded.
I find a small cave, just big enough to drag the two dead wolves inside. I shove them into a corner and slump down, trying to get some rest. The energy in my body is slowly regenerating, but mana recovery's gonna take a while.
With nothing better to do, I get up and start gathering rocks and branches, sharpening sticks with jagged stones.
"This damn world sucks," I mutter. "I'm out here scraping together twigs while the main characters in novels are off flirting with heroines."
"Alright, tree—time to die," I grumble.
I spend the next hour swinging my sharpened rock at it like a madman. Eventually, I gather up all the tall branches I can and slap together a makeshift wall at the cave entrance.
It's not pretty, but it'll do.
With that, I lay down and take a nap.
I wake up to the sound of my wall exploding—there's a guttural growl, deep and violent, shaking the ground around me. I snap upright just in time to see a massive brown bear tearing through the wall like it's made of paper.
"Shit, can I get a break?!" I yell, launching Fireball after Fireball into its face.
By the tenth one, the brown bear crashes through the last of my defenses.
"Fuck you!" I shout, charging forward and activating my talent—Blaze Inferno.
I run around it, hurling a fireball at its face to blind it. The second it staggers, I get behind it and unload a full-power attack right into its ass.
BOOM!
I get launched backward as the bear gets splattered into the cave wall.
[You have killed: Earthshattering Bear]
[You have gained Skill Book: Shadow Clone]
System
Name: Cletus Fuddpucker
Mana Core: Rank F [40%]
Soul Core: Rank F
Talent: Blaze Inferno
Skills: Fireball [Level 2], Shadow Clone [Level 1]
[Shadow Clone – Allows you to create a clone with equipment. Clone has 50% of your strength. Memories transfer upon destruction. Lasts up to 24 hours.]
"Wow, with this, I can easily escape now." I cast the skill, and a clone appears in front of me.
"You suck."
"You suck."
The clone and I both say it at the same time, staring each other down.
"Can you cast Fireball?" I ask hopefully.
If it can, I'll just send it to do all the dirty work while I lounge around like a king.
"Hey! That's clone abuse," it snaps, glaring at me like it genuinely wants to set me on fire.
"What do you mean? You are me. So technically, you should want me to take as little risk as possible… right?"
We drop that conversation and head off to search the Earthshattering Bear's body. Sure enough, we find the mana core—it's ranked F+.
"Damn, that bear was stupid. If it had gone straight for me, I'd probably be dead."
I shrug. "Well, whatever. Let's absorb this core—maybe it'll bump me up to F+. Might not even need Fireball to kill those wolves anymore."
I absorb the energy, but instead of the usual refreshing rush, it feels like a thousand needles stabbing into my insides.
"AAARGHHH!" I collapse, clutching my chest, the agony blinding. My lungs burn with every breath, sweat pouring down my face.
I groan and check my system panel.
System
Name: Cletus Fuddpucker
Mana Core: Rank F [90%]
Soul Core: Rank F
Talent: Blaze Inferno – Last-stand attack, very powerful
Skills: Fireball [Level 2], Shadow Clone [Level 1]
"What the fuck?! Ten percent off? Goddamn it, this is bullshit! All that pain for just a 50% boost? I should've just kept hunting Forest Wolves and used their cores instead!"
1 Hour Later
"Finally found a wolf."
With me, my clone, and the strength boost, we take it down easily. I absorb its mana core without hesitation.
The moment it sinks into me—pain. Again.
"AAARGHHH!" I collapse for the second time, chest burning and nerves screaming.
My breathing turns ragged, and I check my stats through gritted teeth.
System
Name: Cletus Fuddpucker
Mana Core: Rank F [100%]
Soul Core: Rank F
Talent: Blaze Inferno – Last-stand attack, very powerful
Skills: Fireball [Level 3], Shadow Clone [Level 2]
"I need a nap," I mutter. I shuffle back to the cave and crash, asleep before I hit the ground.