My alarm went off, earlier than usual, to mark the start of the convention day.
The first thing I did was completely ignore the dream I had. I didn't even remember I'd dreamed anything in the first place, so the first thing I actually did was eat breakfast. And, for the first time in a long time, with my father.
I never get up early enough to have breakfast at the same time he leaves for work. Even on a Saturday, he still has to go to work. I feel bad, but it's not like I can change anything, or that he wants to change it too.
During the short time we were at the table, it was clear he was happy to have me with him.
"So, someone's going to pick you up, right?"
"Yeah, the mother of &$%"! is going to be by in about two hours."
"So you have time to get ready, just put on that costume you asked me for, right?"
"Better safe than sorry."
"Yeah, and well done."
It's normal for him to get up early for this kind of thing.
"So, is work going well?"
"Well, not much. I do so much that I don't get bored, but a break wouldn't hurt. Let's see if you can spare me some time," my father said, smiling, somewhat sarcastically.
"Hehe, even if I wanted to, I couldn't."
He sighed. "It is what it is."
"You like your job, anyway, don't you?"
"Yes."
"I'm sure you're the only one in the world who enjoys that sort of thing…"
My father is another "Salaryman," albeit with a slightly better position than usual. He's supposed to work from 6 AM to 2 PM, but he insists on putting in a lot of overtime, far exceeding the legal limits. Thanks to that, and his job, he brings home much more money than we need. He's saving almost all of it for us.
"You still work more than you should..."
"You know I want the best for both of you."
You could be spending time with Amaya instead of going to work for those extra hours...
There are times when, instead of working, he has to go to "meetings" with his boss and colleagues. I'm sure he's the only one in the entire company who doesn't drink a drop. He's tremendously reluctant to drink alcohol, something I greatly admire.
He once told me he's only had alcohol twice, and both times were horrible. That's why, not only will he never drink again, but he also hopes neither of us ever drink alcohol, which I plan to do. I don't see the fun in drinking it.
"By the way, I'm probably arriving later than usual today. I shouldn't have put off yesterday's work for today…"
"You shouldn't force yourself to work so hard. You've been doing work ahead of schedule for a long time. Why don't you try having a more relaxed week sometime?"
"It's something I do for pleasure. And on days when I don't feel like going, I always remind myself that I'm doing it for you."
"You could stay with us for a couple of afternoons, for our sake."
My father was briefly surprised to hear me say that.
"...You've changed a lot, haven't you?"
"As?"
"My son wouldn't normally say that. He loves being alone so much."
"But I am your son!"
My father let out a short, but deep, and at the same time, quite friendly laugh.
"I'm just teasing you. I like seeing you like this."
"…"
"If you're so keen, I'll think about what you told me."
"Thank you."
After breakfast, I said goodbye to Dad and went straight upstairs to take a shower. The bathroom was right in front of my room.
I hope I don't wake Amaya up with the shower...
For today, I'm not going to shower with music playing. The worst thing would be waking her up, only for her to come into the bathroom with a broom and beat my clean, naked body. Again.
Would she even have the courage to look at me naked without flinching? We're not kids anymore, so it's something to keep in mind, whether we're related or not.
I decided not to give it much thought, and since I didn't want to waste time, I went straight to the shower.
There isn't a day that goes by that I don't take a good shower. It always feels good, and it's a great way to pass the time.
When I finished drying off, I moved on to the most important part of the day.
I went into my room, grabbed the bag I'd stored it in, and went straight to the bathroom.
I dressed in a full tracksuit. A jacket and pants in shades of black, white, and orange. I paired it with a black T-shirt and a relatively strange and surreal hairdo, but possible with a little hair gel.
And when I finished, I looked at myself in the mirror. It didn't take long for me to smile; this is perhaps the moment I feel happiest.
" It's…"
I tried to contain my enthusiasm, but I couldn't, and instead of finishing my sentence…
"My name is Natsuki Subaru! I'm a good-for-nothing who can't think of anything better to do with his miserable life than go to a convention full of people his same level as. I don't have a dime! I have no idea where I'm going! I just know that where I'm going, and unfortunately, it isn't going to be a fantasy world! Although I'll probably see Emilia-tan. More than one. I wonder how many pictures I'll be able to take!"
Striking poses that were ridiculous to anyone who saw me, but fascinating to me, I gradually became immersed in what I believed to be the personality of the character I was cosplaying.
As soon as I realized what I'd done, I was already mortified. Even if no one saw or heard me. I hope so. I sighed.
"Well, I'd better get that nonsense out of the way."
I looked in the mirror for the second time. I was surprised, because I looked a bit like him. I'm not the same; I'm slightly thinner, and my face doesn't look that similar, but that's where the magic of cosplay lies!
"I wonder what face &$%%! will make when he sees this awesome outfit."
I still couldn't completely contain my excitement. I was really excited, and I wasn't even going to the convention yet.
The last thing I packed was a black backpack, which practically matched my tracksuit, and it was one he—I mean, I—could easily carry.
"If things get tough, I'll just ask &$%"! to carry it for me and that's it…"
In the backpack, I had both my lunch and some snacks, a 1.5-liter bottle of water, and little else. I was also going to bring a cloth bag to carry the things I bought, in addition to all my savings, about 32,500 yen.
Although I'm nowhere near going to spend it all. I'll probably only spend a quarter, half at most. And I don't even have any plans to buy anything specific.
There's still half an hour before they come for me...
I decided to spend some time watching TV while I waited.
I didn't go to wake my sister, who hadn't left her room. She'd probably still be sleeping, but I finally went to check on her.
I opened the door slowly, so as not to make a sound, and yes, she was there, lying on the bed. Not only had she uncovered herself, but she was also sleeping on her pillow, which can imply two things: 1. She slept hugging the pillow. 2. She moved enough to get onto her back, on top of the pillow.
It's like those scenes where a girl in pajamas is showing her entire belly, and for some reason she's scratching herself above her belly button. Is my sister an NPC or something?
I decided to go in and approach her.
She was still asleep, especially because she looked absolutely comfortable. For a moment, I imagined giving her a goodbye kiss, or something like that. How disgusting. I'm not saying that because it creeps me out, but because it's weird...
And this is said by the one who recently slept with his sister.
I completely regret having done it. Every time I think about it, I feel a pang of shame that doesn't stop until I forget, and I've only remembered it twice. Why did she ask me?
Shame aside, I looked at my sister's unconscious body.
"I'm leaving, Amaya."
I said softly, still tormenting me. I left the room, but not before tucking her in. You have to have a little decency.
Before long, I heard a honk, a car's horn. They were waiting for me outside. It didn't take long for me to get out and get in the car.
"You really did it..."
"Like it's something bad!"
"Well, he's really worked hard. You could have dressed like that too, son."
"But it's just a crappy hairstyle and a tracksuit!"
"Okay, but it doesn't look bad on him, and he likes it."
"...I'll give you that much."
"See?"
As I sat in the car, closed the door, and put on my seatbelt, we started moving.
I was impatient the whole trip, even more so than at home. I barely spoke during the ride. I listened to music, as always. I love music. It was a long trip, but I knew it was going to be woth it.
Even before we got off, near the convention center, I could see people cosplaying. That only made me more excited.
A short time after that, we were able to get off.
"At this rate, I thought we weren't going to make it," said &$%!" That's because there was traffic on the way here, and we lost about an hour, although it really flew by anyways.
"At least we're here. Finally!"
"Well, guys, have a good time!"
"Yes."
"Yes!"
"… You really got into character…"
After that unnecessary &$%" comment, his mother left, leaving us at the entrance of the place. I was a bit embarrased by suddenly acting that way.
There was a long line, but it moved very quickly, so it didn't take long to get in. Without even entering, I could see a ton of people doing cosplay. Some were more elaborate than others, but they all had some merit.
I recognized many of the cosplays I saw, and there were many that I loved!
The first time I came here was similar, but I didn't dress up, and I couldn't even take a photo. Not because everyone rejected me, but because I didn't have the courage to ask anyone if I could take a photo with them.
The only photos I have are with the friend group, that's why I want some individual photos.
Obviously, my main focus is on Re:Zero characters. But if I see someone I really like, I'll ask for a photo. Above all, I have a few characters in mind to take a photo with.
- Well, at least that was my plan.
1.
"Come on, dude, go ask her for the photo already."
"But, I don't know…"
"Don't tell me now you're embarrassed!!"
"…. What if-"
"'What if' my balls!", &$%"! He followed this sentence with a slap on my back, pushing me to ask for a photo from a girl who was cosplaying as 'Emilia', one of the characters I was supposed to take a photo with.
" You're going to take a picture with her, because you're Subaru, right?"
"Don't hold me against you…"
"Come on, go for it!" He gave me a thumbs-up, which seemed more ironic than real.
At that moment, I made up my mind. I cleared my mind and approached.
Before I could speak, the girl saw me and realized I was going to talk to her.
"Oh, do you want a picture with me?"
" Oh, yeah, if you could make me one, I'd appreciate it."
"Yes. Don't worry."
"&$%"! !"
Ahhh… I really did it. Does my voice sound weird? Do I sound nervous? I'm going to die…
"I'll come now."
"Do you want me to pose somehow?" the girl said.
" Well…" There, I struck a pose that perfectly matches my character:
My left hand on my hip, and my right arm extended in front of me, making a peace sign with my hand.
"Is that okay?"
"Yes." She struck the same pose I was in. While posing, &$%"! took the picture.
"Uh, thank you very much…"
"No, no, thanks to you!"
"Why?"
"You're the first Subaru I've ever taken a picture with, and I really like that!"
"Ah, um, well, it's nothing. And thanks again."
She nodded and said goodbye. She wasn't alone; she'd left with a group of friends.
"Dude, you're lucky that chick's so nice, because you've talked to her like crazy."
"But I haven't said a single weird thing!"
"No, but you've acted VERY weird!"
"So what do you want me to do?! I was nervous!"
"It's not my fault you're such a faggot."
"You faggot, you haven't asked anyone for a picture!"
"Oh, really? I could take 100 pictures if I wanted to!"
" Then do it! I want to see you mess things up!"
We struggled, though not in a bad way. We were just fooling around. We were both laughing.
We goofed arround the place for a while, and &$%"! managed to get a few photos here and there.
While I finished taking a photo to him, someone approached us. Well, no. More like, tapped me on the shoulder.
"Um…"
I was scared for a moment. I stopped what I was doing with &$%"!, and turned around. "Y-Yeah?"
It was a girl dressed as Rem, and behind her was a supposed friend of hers dressed as Ram. Both costumes were in my photo gallery.
The first one was a little shorter than the second. She had a look that screamed at me how insecure she was.
Since I don't know their names, I'll call them by the characters they cosplay. I prefer that to calling them 'Girl 1' and 'Girl 2'.
" Can we take a picture with you?" Rem said.
"Oh, yes, please-"
&$%"! leaned close to my ear, whispering in a mocking tone.
"You won the lottery, buddy."
"Shut up."
"So, do you want me to take the picture?"
"Yes, if you don't mind," Ram said. Unlike Rem, she was much calmer, and gave the impression of being very kind and considerate.
Rem looked to be about my age, while Ram was probably a year or two older. Although they were both shorter than me, although Ram almost reached my height. Is it so hard to find a girl my height or taller?
...And my sister doesn't count for that either. I feel like she's the only girl taller than me in this world...
After we settled in, he took the photo. I didn't know how to pose, so I just gave a thumbs-up while smiling. I was really nervous. After the photo, Rem spoke to me.
"Um, this… This might be a bit weird, but… Could we take a photo with our hands up now?"
"Excuse me?"
"Subaru's "Victory" pose." Ram said.
It wasn't just a pose, it was one of the poses. It was just raising both hands in the air, though.
In the series, Subaru would do it after doing a series of morning exercises, but I guess we'll skip that step for the photo.
"Ahh, that one. Y-yeah, I don't mind."
"Really!?" Rem got even more excited. Right after getting excited, she blushed and tried to hide her face.
"S-sorry."
" No, it's okay."
After that, they both shook my hands, and we raised them to the sky.
"Say: 'Victory!'" said &$%"!, trying to annoy me in the worst way possible, with a grin showing on his face. I had to force myself to play along.
"Em, Victory!" "Vi-Victory!" "Victory!"
We all three said it at the same time, but each of us said it in a different way. How pathetic… and how embarrassing.
People are staring at me… I can't take it anymore…
" Well, thank you very much!"
"No, thank you very much."
When I said that, Rem smiled shyly.
" No, I didn't do anything." Ram put her arm around Rem's neck, giving a thumbs-up sign.
"You're welcome!" Ram said. She literally sounded like the real Ram, judging by her sarcastic tone and stilted voice. In the end, I gave in.
"No, no, the pleasure's all mine!" I said in a gentlemanly but joking tone, placing my hand on my chest.
"…" Rem looked as if she was going to say something to me, but in the end, she remained silent. There was a very brief moment when no one spoke.
I laughed a little, but started scratching my nose reflexively.
After that, they both said their goodbyes and left, thanking me once more. I honestly didn't think anyone would approach me and ask for a photo...
"...And he hits the jackpot!"
"And what do you say now?"
&$%"! He began to speak like a football commentator, pretending to have a microphone in his hand.
"He was so close to scoring a goal! But his cowardice made him hit the post!"
The girls from before heard him, because they turned around a little when they heard him speak. The worst part was that Ram laughed a little.
"Shut up already, damn it!"
" You're so pathetic, I shouldn't laugh at you." It wasn't an insult. He was laughing his head off, and it wasn't like he was offending me, but it did bother me.
"So what do you want me to do, ask for their number like a weirdo?"
"Well, you could have. I was about to if you hadn't come up with that 'Oh no, thanks to you' nonsense."
"Well, if I see them again, I'll do it! Maybe that way I can shut you up."
"Then go after them! Right now!"
"Um… I'm not going to do that…"
"Then you're a loser!" he said, pointing at me.
"I will if I see them again!"
"On top of life taking pity on you, you let the opportunity pass you by." he didn't just say it to tease, he was even laughing.
I didn't want to say anything else. I just sighed.
The morning went relatively well. We saw everything there was to see, which was quite a lot, but I couldn't take any more photos, and no one came to ask me for them.
Although we weren't bored, we were just fooling around the whole time. I didn't have time to think about anything, otherwise we'd be either looking at figures or laughing at silly things. &$%"! is the only person I feel is truly my friend.
I feel very distant from the rest. More than friends, they're classmates I hang out with occasionally.
It's not that I don't care about it, but I feel like I wouldn't refer to them with the word "Friends," although only in some cases.
Well, I don't even know where the line between acquaintances and friends is, so it's not like I can judge them either.
For lunch, we went to a fast food restaurant inside the convention.
Luckily, the prices weren't that inflated, so we got a pizza for both of us.
After this, we planned to start buying things we liked. I had already made a plan for myself: a Rem, Emilia, and Subaru figurine—at least one, if possible—as well as a Rem plushie and a keychain from any other series I liked.
I'm not going to buy based on just one series either, although I do want a lot of this one.
I don't know what &$%"! is going to buy, although it's definitely something from 'Dragon Ball' or 'Steins;Gate'. He really likes both. I also like 'Steins;Gate' quite a bit, but I can't say the same about 'Dragon Ball'…
I'm also planning on buying something for Amaya, especially a 'Code Geass' figure, or a 'Made in Abyss' one.
She likes both of them very much, and I'm not going to ask for the money back, I'll give it to her as a gift.
Honestly, I want to see how he reacts, since I've rarely given her anything other than a birthday present. Let alone something so expensive, which would be a figurine worth around 6,000 yen or more.
I'm still overwhelmed by the number of cosplayers. I want to take pictures, but I still can't relax enough to be embarrassed about ordering. Although, as soon as I leave this table, I'm going to take 200 pictures! That way I'll beat &$%"!
He decided to break the silence that existed while we ate.
" Okay, listen to me. I have the perfect plan to help you stop being such a loser."
"Damn, man, that's so nice of you. I said sarcastically, with a slightly serious face. "You're going to kill me with all this politeness."
"Aren't I really nice?" He responded in a rather flippant manner. He even seemed to be laughing at me. How innovative.
"Come on, tell me what you want to do."
"So, let's both go to one of the small stages we saw, where there were people doing karaoke, and we'll sing something. I vote for… um… well… The first opening of Code Geass?"
"Oh, so you've seen Code Geass…"
"That's not what I want you to say! Yes or no?"
Honestly, I don't even know why he's asking me. He knows perfectly well that I'm not going to do it.
I mean, if I can't ask a single person to take a picture of me, how am I going to sing a song on stage?
"Of course not! How do you expect me to do something like that?!" I refused without a second thought. I reacted as if he had asked me if I would kill someone for money.
"Doing it."
" You're going to kill me laughing, Mr. Comedy."
"It's just once, and it'll do you good. Do it for me!"
It's not like it's a death sentence, but for me it was. Although, at the same time, I wasn't wrong about it being good for me. If I don't mess up, I could get rid of the shame. Just for today, of course.
" No. I refuse. Not in a thousand years!"
"What if I give you 5,000 yen?"
" Let me take five pictures and I'm in." I offered my hand as soon as he told me there was money involved, and he accepted. That's when the operation began: Operation 'get a fo-'
"Good! Then let's start operation 'Get my lame friend a girlfriend!'"
With the same ideas as always, &$%"! said out loud that tremendous attack towards me.
I can clearly hear two or three people laughing. Although I can't tell if they're laughing at something else, or at the joke. Maybe it's too optimistic to think they're paying attention.
"Hey, you don't have a girlfriend either."
"Yeah, but you just don't want a girlfriend. Are you gay?"
"No."
"And how can I know? Do you have proof?"
"I love tits."
" How filthy. You're absolutely right."
"I know."
&$%"! He took care of eating the remaining 2 slices of pizza, even though he had already eaten 3.
I don't know how &$%"! doesn't gain any weight, with all the food he eats.
"Ahh!" He sighed with relief. "With everything I've been eating, I don't have to eat all day."
" With that amount of food, I'm sure you'll even lose weight…"
"The worst part is that you're probably right."
We'd already paid for everything, so we left the leftovers and left the place. It was packed, so we were doing the people who wanted to eat a favor.
2.
We started the afternoon looking for people to take photos with. Yes, take photos, since &$%"! wants to. It's not like he likes photos, but like me, he likes having photos of events like this. Plus, he wants to take more photos than I do.
It didn't take long to find the first person. I didn't hesitate to ask for the photo, which is already a step forward.
Although I did it quickly, and spoke as little as possible.
After that came another, and after that, another.
We went to a stall where I found a huge, giant, HUGE prize. It was a figurine. It cost 16,000 yen, which, considering the size of the figurine—about 20 cm tall—with all the detail it had, and the original design, was a steal. I bought it without hesitation.
" You're crazy…"
"Just buying this made it worth coming here!!!" I couldn't be happier than I am now, and I couldn't contain my joy. "Although it's true that I'm just going to spend the money on the figure for my sister and that's it."
"What are you going to buy her?
" "A Code Geass figure, preferably."
"Okay, if I see a cute one, I'll let you know."
He didn't buy anything at that stand, but he did end up buying a plush toy from one of those series he likes. It was a normal size, and it was pretty good.
"And that settles me!"
" I hope you don't put a hole in it, I can see you're capable."
"I'm not going to carry the stuffed plush just for that!"
"Yeah, yeah. Excuses."
We continued walking aimlessly. Aside from asking strangers for photos, we didn't do much else. We were just goofing around, more than talking.
Unfortunately, we haven't met the two girls yet. I honestly don't know why I care about that. Their witchcraft is affecting me.
I just hope I never see them again. I don't want to have to go through anything like that again... It was too embarassing.
As we were walking, we saw a small stage in the distance, where three people were singing. It was karaoke.
&$%"! He grinned from cheek to cheek, staring at me.
"I think it's about time, don't you?" He said in a slightly excited tone, pointing at the stage. I sighed at his request.
"…Just so you know, you owe me those 5,000 yen."
"Yeah, yeah."
We both headed over to the venue. In front of the stage, there was a large group of people singing or cheering on the people on stage, about 10 or 20 people cheering at least.
We headed to the side of the stage, where the people who ran the place were. There were only two people in the queue, though I couldn't tell if they were together or not.
Fortunately, when the group that was singing finished, the two women went up on stage after telling the manager what song they wanted to play. As soon as they started singing, at least half the audience sang along.
I felt like every second was ticking by. I was getting nervous.
I had an internal conflict. I didn't know if it was because of excitement or shame. What was I going to do in the end? Am I going to go up? What if I sing badly? What if people look at me funny? I don't want to. No-
The girls finished singing. After they got off, the manager spoke to us.
"Hello. What song are you going to sing?"
"Oh, yes. We wanted to sing 'Colors' by the group 'Flow'."
"I'll look it up right now."
In the brief time he was typing and searching, &$%"! and I didn't look at each other for a moment. He was excited, but I was very tense.
It didn't matter that I liked the song, that was too much for me.
" Okay, I have it, I'll put it in vowels, okay?"
"Yes, please."
We waited until the girls at the stage finished. Seeing how they left passing right by us, I got chills sent to my whole body.
" Okay, then you can go up on stage now."
Before I could even start up, I stopped &$%"!
"What's going on? Are you going to back out?"
"Y-yes. I really don't want to do it."
"But it's not going to be anything! You've seen how the rest of them sang. They don't even know half of the things they're singing! They're not going to tell you anything for singing badly!"
"I don't care, I-I-"
&$%"! He grabbed my arm and led me with him onto the stage.
"Eh!?"
I had managed to get on stage, but I didn't want to be there. I was the center of attention. Even though there were only about 15 people there, they were all looking at me. They were all looking at the stage.
I couldn't leave. If I did, they'd think badly of me. They'd talk bad about me. They'd see me as a killjoy, as a coward. I can't run away.
I want to do it. But…
If I only look at him…
I closed my eyes for a moment.
I don't have anyone around me. Yeah. No one's looking at me. I'm just going to sing. I'm going to sing with him, that's all. I don't care about that. I can do it.
They gave us both a microphone. I looked at &$%"! for a moment.and he looked back at me.
I took a deep breath. I took a deep breath, and let it out. Just then, the song started.
-I forgot everything. I left behind who I was, and everything I cared about, to sing alongside Daiki.
It was a wonderful thing, almost the entire crowd was singing along with us, and about 7 more people came to see us sing.
I don't regret doing it. Even now I'm nervous, but I was so excited.
When the song ended, everyone applauded. I never thought so many strangers could act so kindly and energetically.
"That was awesome!" I exclaimed once we had gotten off the stage.
" I told you it was going to be worth it!"
"I'm telling you right now, you don't have to pay me anything, this was worth every second."
"Well, something I'm saving, hehe."
"You pay me double for being a big mouth."
"No!"
"Then triple!"
Not only did my mind go blank, but I felt as if I were living in the now, and not as if I had a camera behind me, through which I see how that "I" lives my life.
-I felt like I was seeing my life through my own eyes.
It took me a while to calm down, as I was so happy. During that time, I felt like a different person. Not only did I laugh more than usual, and even seemed sillier, but I also opened up to people more.
Several people asked me for a photo, and some asked me if I was acting like Subaru, which I obviously denied.
The only thing I'm surprised at is not having asked for any contact, or that they asked me to.
I don't care much, since my phone is full of photos.
And that's enough for me. I'll never forget this.
I was also able to buy Amaya a figure. Just as I'd planned, I bought her a figure of a character from 'Code Geass.' If I liked the figure myself, I can't even imagine how my sister will react.
3.
By the time I managed to calm down, the sky was darkening, and it was soon time to leave. We still had a little time, though, so we decided to take one last walk around the place.
" Ahh… And to think it's going to end…"
"Although you can tell we had a good time, right?"
"Yes, of course, but I'm exhausted…"
"Yeah, but would you do it again?"
"That's a given."
We've been walking all day, so it's normal for us to be tired. I'm going to sleep for at least 15 hours. I don't think it will take me more than 3 seconds to fall asleep once I hit the bed.
In the middle of our conversation, which was becoming more normal, someone caught my attention and then touched my shoulder.
This time I wasn't scared, although I wasn't expecting something like that to happen again. What a tendency people have for touching my s-
" H-hello!"
"Hey." I raised my arm in greeting to the girl who had greeted me.
She was dressed as Rem, and behind her was a Ram, who I assume is her friend. Wait a minute…
"Remember us?"
" You guys already asked me for a photo, right?"
"Yeah! It was this morning. And, I wanted to ask you something…"
Behind her, the girl dressed as Ram was smiling a bit slyly. She'd probably be amused by how flustered and embarrassed Rem was.
"Yeah, what did you want then?"
"C-can I have… Y-your phone number?"
Behind me, I could already feel someone's tail wagging, or at least they were holding back the urge to make a joke.
"S-sure, of course."
It didn't take long for me to agree, though I was nervous. I guess I don't need to explain why. Just saying I'm a virgin is enough.
"Uh… so what's your name?" I asked Rem.
"Izumi, my name is Izumi…"
"My name is Ayame. I know you haven't asked me, but I guess I should introduce myself too."
Now that I think about it, don't you two look alike? At least, you two have a similar appearance. Is it because of the cosplays?
"Well, my name is Riku, the one back here is called &$%"!"
"You know I can say my name perfectly well, right?"
"Yeah, I just didn't feel like listening to you."
"What's up, are you out now?"
We fooled around for a moment before going back to the meeting.
"So, um, where are you from?" Izumi asked.
"From )#=¿!?"·( , we are both from there."
"Ah, I think that's a bit far from us. Pretty far… The name doesn't even ring any bells to me." Ayame replied.
"We'll chat later. You can give Ayame my number if you want. I'll give you his later."
"Yeah."
" I told you to stop introducing me that way..."
"…" There was a brief silence, which Ayame was able to cut short.
"So, how did you all enjoy it?"
We chatted with them for a while before leaving. We seemed like a group of four who'd known each other for years, and I find it funny that &$%"! is the one who stands out from the group for not being dressed up as something.
We talked more about each other, and about our experience at the convention. They said they hadn't been to this kind of thing before, and that they both really enjoyed it. Especially Izumi, who's supposedly shy and embarrassed.
They also told me they were sisters, and that Ayame was the oldest, at 17, and Izumi the youngest, at 15, a few months older than me as my birthday is in December. Im technically still 14.
" Goodbye!"
"Bye bye!"
They both said goodbye to us.
" See you next time, right?" Ayame asked.
"Yes! Of course!" &$%" replied.
"Take care!" I said.
Like that, our day on the convention finished.
4.
&$%"!'s mother didn't take long to arrive. I feel bad that she had to drive us, and now pick us up, but I don't think she cares much.
As soon as we parked, we got in and sat down in no time.
" How nice it is to sit down!"
"From what I see, it's been a busy day."
"Yeah, but we've done a lot of things," I replied.
"By the way, Mom, I haven't had dinner yet."
"Do you want to go somewhere?"
"No, I want to have dinner at home. I'm too tired to walk for more than 10 seconds."
"I'll make you something when we arrive. Do you want to come with us, Riku?"
"I'd also like to eat dinner at home, but thanks for the offer."
After that brief intercation, &$%"! kept talking to his mom the whole ride. He was in the passenger seat, and I stayed in the back listening to music.
From a certain point on, at the convention, I got used to wearing this tracksuit, with this hairstyle, and even acting like him. It felt so natural…
It was a wonderful experience. I'm already looking forward to going back next year. I don't know if I should go with cosplay... No, I have to go with cosplay. I'll convince &$%"! to dress up.
Half of the photos I have are of guys cosplaying female characters. I love it.
But I wonder how much time I have left to enjoy this...
We have this year left in high school, and after that we'll probably go to the same college.
In my case, I would go to see if there is any job that I like, and study from that.
But, 4 years, huh? I feel like I'm still a kid. No, I'm still a kid, 14 years old is still super young it's just that time passes faster.
When will I realize, in 4 years, that time has passed so quickly?
Even if I say this, it's still a long time, and it's not like everything will end the moment I graduate.
It scares me, but there's a future I have to face, and even though I don't know what it is, I know I'm going to move forward, no matter how hard it is, or how sad it is.
There are many days when I get depressed, but that doesn't mean I'm unhappy, or worse, that I'm depressed. I'm fine.
If I could keep my life like this, I would. But things change. Everything changes. I can't stay still.
But I can't change 'me,' and at the same time I can, what they see as 'me', though. If others see me differently, I'll change. If I behave differently, they'll see me differently.
Either part defines what a person is.
That's why I want more people to know who I am. I've been lucky today, but would I really have met someone new if Izumi and Ayame hadn't come back? Would I have made friends by my own strength? Would I still want to change?
No. If I don't want to lose what I have now, I can't risk changing. If I do, what guarantees me that everything will stay the same?
Then, I started to feel my eyes slowly closing, but I didn't process it.
I can't risk it. I…
And when the time came, I closed them completely.
...I don't want to change.