"Haram, I say Haram!" a bald man yelled, shaking his fist. He was standing outside of a McDiggins fast food restaurant, shaking his fist at the employees and staff.
"We're sorry, sir," The manager of the store said, trying his best to console the patron.
"A McDiggins that doesn't have ice cream, I can understand," The man said, squatting down to fit into his Lamborghini. "The laws of supply and demand are very exact on the labor and machine parts required to maintain a functional ice cream machine."
"But a McDiggins that doesn't serve sparkling water?" The man said as he took off his sunglasses in disgust."Now that's just Haram!"
"Please, sir, if you would just take this chance to try our other beverage offerings, we have natural spring water," The manager pleaded.
"There's nothing natural about your business practices!" The man yelled, shaking his fist once again. "For comparing natural water to sparkling, you should be punished! In fact God should strike down from the skies and permanently remove your ability verbally express such blasphemies!"
As the bald man shouted his proclamation, with his voice barely audible enough to be heard through the grumbling boom of his Lamborghini's engine, a giant flash from the sky appeared and struck the manager, electrocuting him.
"Serves you right," The man said, driving away in his expensive sports car.
In the next moment, Sirius and his band of evil followers appeared on the scene.
"Hehe, may I take your order?" The second-in-command said, rubbing his hands together gleefully. He looked up at Sirius and his band of mercenaries, terrified of what they could possibly do.
"I will give you one last chance," Sirius said. "I will spare your lives if you are able to produce a single ice cream cone, McFlurry, or any type of creamery substance."
The supervisor nervously looked around, first to his manager who was still fried, standing still like an electrified statue, then to his subordinates who each looked left and right. Each one of them knew that the ice cream machine was clearly broken, but maybe, just maybe, they would be able to pull something off.
Suddenly, a new hire who was unaware of McDiggins notorious ice cream blunders stumbled forward.
"I don't suppose I could interest you in two apple pies? We also have cookies on the dollar menu and an assortment of different types of dessert snacks that you are free to pick through," The new hire suggested.
The staff fell to their knees, groveling in repentance. They knew that their fate had been sealed by the ignorant new employee's words. As tears fell from their eyes, the glare of sirius's mad purple eyes began to reflect in their own, burning their retina with indignation.
"So be it," Sirius said.
With a snap of his fingers, a giant black orb appeared above his hand, seeming to look like a mini black hole. As it swirled around, tiny bits of debris started gathering, swirling into its vortex center by the force of its incredibly dense gravitational field.
"McDiggins!" Sirius said, raising his hand. "By the powers of darkness and as the most evil man in existence of all.... existence! I hereby remove you from existence itself!"
POW!
Before Sirius could throw his giant ball of dark energy towards the McDiggins staff and the establishment behind them, he was hit by a tremendously strong force. There was a giant bang and a shockwave that traveled through the air. The next thing he knew, he was on his back, almost as if he had been hit by a cannon.
"Not today, Lord Sirius," A young boy said with a giant cannon and a tattoo on his arm. "I'm still loving it!"
"How could this be?" One of Sirius's men said. "I thought we destroyed him!"
"I thought we had removed him from existence!"
"How can I be removed from existence when I'm always canon?" The boy said, pointing to his arm.
"My nemesis," Sirius said, getting up and rising to his feet. "Cannon Boy, no matter how many times I try to destroy you, you never get a filler episode!"
"That's right!" Cannon Boy said. "And I've also brought with me the LVTHTG! My league of villains turned heroes by therapy and goodwill!"
In the next moment, a puff of smoke appeared around Cannon Boy, but not in a way that would cover him up and remove him from being the center of attention, but just enough so that you couldn't see exactly what was happening behind him. Footsteps emerged from behind him in the shadows, and then the next moment, he was surrounded by seven villains who looked to be some kind of heroes.
"Villains turned heroes," Sirius said, shaking his head. "You disgust me."
"But, Sirius, don't you have a dream? If you would just let go of your ambition, we could change the world together. We could finally remove pain-" One of the heroes said.
"Silence!" Sirius cried, swiping his hand to the right, creating a dark hand that smacked the villain across the face. THe hand of darkness dragged him into the McDiggins establishment, smashing him into its walls.
"So, we're going to fight for the fate of McDiggins," Cannon Boy said, aiming his cannons at Sirius.
"That's right, prepare yourself, boy," Lord Sirius said.
With afiery spirit, Lord sirious extended his arm pointing in the direction of his enemy.
"Alright men! Attack!" He cried
......
There was a breif silence as he made his battle command.
"Ahem!" His female compatriots said, crossing their arms.
"Oh, sorry, I meant...Men and women, attack!"
...
"Ahem!" members of the uprising heroes team said.
"Sorry, What I really meant to say was...Men and women, and those who may not identify as women or men as well, and those who are transitioning between either one of the three states or might be contemplating it… Attack!"
Enthralled with Lord Sirius's very inclusive battle cry, the members of both sides engaged in battle.