"Hpmh!" Lord Sirius grumbled, and with a snap of his fingers, they were all transported back to the castle.
As Lord Sirius opened his eyes to his home, he couldn't believe what he saw. The atmosphere was unremarkably evil, as if he himself had orchestrated it.
Every single one of his guards had an ice cream cone in their hand, partying and living their best lives. Evil villains were playing checkers and even tic-tac-toe. Ninjas were taking off their masks, and samurais were drinking root beer instead of sake. The whole scene made no sense.
As he looked to the back of the throne room, he saw the 10-year-old child once again eating an ice cream cone, looking down at him from his throne. McDiggins was by his side, patting him on the head.
"Just what exactly do you think you're doing?" Lord Sirius said, growing agitated.
"There is a new king in the town of Beetlejuice," McDiggins proclaimed. "All hail the new Lord Sirius!"
"The new Lord Sirius!" Sirius exclaimed. "There is no new Lord Sirius. There's only one me."
"Shut up, poser!" The kid screamed at him. "I'm the real Lord Sirius. You're just some kind of off-brand clone who was militarized and sent to destroy me!"
"What?!" Lord Sirius exclaimed.
"You call yourself an evil villain, and yet you couldn't see that all the while I was beating you outside of the castle. It was all part of my elaborate scheme."
"What is this nonsense that I'm hearing? Are people listening to him?" Sirus gawked.
"Shut up, old leader!" his mistress said, walking out to the younger child. She carresed him, pressing him into hier chest as hard as she could, and as she did, his face became flustered.
"Even my mistress! What the hell is going on here?" Lord Sirius grumbled.
"If you want, you can use me," The box of tissues said, scooting up next to him to offer a consoling shoulder. "Everybody hurts"
"Oh, please," Sirius said, kicking the box of tissues to the side. "This is ridiculous. I'm not even going to bother sitting here to figure out how all of my finest warriors were duped by a child. I'll just do what I always do and remove you from existence!"
Once again, Sirius created a dark ball of energy and aimed it at the child.
"How can you remove me from existence when I'm going to remove you first, you bumbling fool?" The little child said, arming himself with his own ball of darkness.
"What kind of sick joke is this?" Lord Sirius exclaimed.
"You tell me, you old coot!" The child cried.
As the two balls of dark energy collided, a giant schism appeared in the middle of the throne room. The warriors and his ministers were blown back from the force of this incredible intergalactic collision, ripping particles in spacetime apart.
"Impressive," Lord Sirius said.
"You'll never defeat me," The child said.
"Impressive, that is, for a child."
With a snap of his fingers, Lord Sirius completely annihilated the dark energy ball that the child had produced and swallowed him whole. In an instant, he completely erased the child from existence, and the room returned to normal.
"I have no idea what that was all about," Sirius said, stretching out his neck. "Now, Madeline, if you would just..."
Suddenly, Sirius felt his heart palpitate with such ferocity that it felt like he had been hit by one of Cannon Boy's attacks. He looked left and right, but he saw nothing. Yet, some kind of invisible force was tearing him apart from the inside out.
"What's happening?" he exclaimed, looking around.
All around him, there was only silence, not a single word.
As he reached out his arm towards his mistress, he saw his hand slowly fading from existence.
"What exactly is going on here? I'm fading from existence?"
"That's right," McDiggins said, straightening out his hat. "Our plan worked seamlessly, didn't it?"
"Yes, indeed," Sirius's second-in-command said.
In a flash, all seven of his followers appeared behind McDiggins.
"Impossible! What did you guys do? Have you all betrayed me?"
"No, Lord, you have betrayed yourself," his second-in-command Antares said.
"How? What's going on?"
"The boy you just destroyed... " Antares said chucling. "Was none other than yourself."
"What?!" Sirus cried falling to his knees. He squeezed both sides of his head trying to understand what had happend.
"You just removed your own body from existence." Mira said
"How is that possible?" Sirus asked
"It wasn't easy, but with Crucis's help, we were able to go back in time and steal this child version of yourself from its current time. We dyed his hair and made him look a little edgier, which he seemed to like.. And just like a fool, you were unable to recognize him."
"To think... that's why he had all my abilities. He was me."
"We needed something to agitate you, something that wouldn't make you think clearly. So, we picked your weakness: ice cream. We created the ice cream demic and made the child the center of it all. After convincing him that you were an evil version of himself from another dimension, we enacted a plan to get you to erase him from existence, which unfortunately didn't work because you were even, in your most irritable, easy on the child. But nonetheless, in the end, you destroyed the child as we provoked, just as we planned. And now, you're going to fade from existence, just like so many others that you've done." McDiggens proclaimed
"But my evil ministers... Wasn't I a great villain? Wasn't I the most evil man in the world, who else is capable of such evil?"
"That was the problem. You never gave us any days off," Antares said crossing his arms.
"What did you say?"
"You were getting a little too evil, deleting people from existence, removing ice cream, removing Valentine's Day... That was my girlfriend's birthday man! You just kept removing everything from existence, not just destroying things but preventing them from existing. It's the most evil thing I've ever seen in my entire life, and it has to stop!"
"No..."
"Me and the league are going to make a better world for villains! A world where we get vacations and days off. And instead of deleting things from existence, we'll just profit off them, make more money. That's where McDiggins comes in. We're going to be partnering up with him to become a corporation, make some money off this scheme."
"I'm no longer surprised at what I've seen. You are all fools! You abandoned villainy and chose corporatism. I'm disgusted."
"Well, it doesn't matter if you're disgusted because, in the end, you're going to fade from this world," McDiggins stated.
Lord Sirius's body was almost completely deteriorated now, with only his mouth and small facial features remaining.
"Remember this, you fool," Lord Sirius said. "In all the movies, in all the TV shows, in all of recorded history, corporatism dies. The people get smart and rise up and dismantle the system. Villains live forever because we control the system itself! We are so evil that even when we are dead. Just our name causes fear and inspires the next generation of evil. You will see this for yourself. If you think removing me from existence will stop villains from reigning supreme, you're fools!"
"We may be fools, but we are free to be as foolish as we like. The name 'villain' is getting a few more zeros attached to it. And... I'm going to spend Valentine's Day with my girlfriend, goddamn it!"
"IT doesn't matter f I die here!" Lord sirus said as he body began to be ripped apart. "I will always be the most evil man of all existence!"
POOF!
With a poof and a bang, Lord Sirius was gone from this world his soul drifted through the cosmos as he find his new resting place....
....
...
"What?
....
What do you mean the story is not over! I'm the narrator I decide what happens! "
"What! What do you mean the author said this is all an intro to his character! Are you serious! Your telling me I have to narrate a whole nether story! How long will this one be!"
"WHHHAAAT! WHAT DO YOU MEAN HE"S STILL OUTLINING IT!"