***
Deep down there is a child who is chained to the past. He forces himself to suffer because he feels guilty for all the misfortune happening around him. He does not understand the emotions of others, just as he does not understand himself, and so he remains trapped in that vast ocean of blood, which represents all his sins extended to nothingness itself.
The souls whisper to him that he is a monster. They keep telling him how bad he is and that there is no good in him. Even his own mother's soul is still there to torment him. Toru is already bored of this because he has lived the same loop for too long, but even he knows that everything that happens in this ocean affects him.
However, in the midst of all that darkness, Gray appeared to plant flowers in the abyss of blood. She came to bring light to this dull hell. All the words of this girl were like painful needles for Toru, sticking into his skin and causing him pain, but that pain was not as bad as everything he had lived through.
The monotonousness had destroyed his soul and his will. This depression kept spreading endlessly as the days went by, but it was always funny for Toru. Someone always appeared to help him rise from the abyss of blood. This time it was Gray.
This kiss represented all of Gray's words. She wanted to make Toru understand her feelings. As someone who knows what Toru feels, Gray understands all the suffering even if she doesn't know the past. So, when Gray pulled her lips away from Toru's, she looked at him with a soft gentle smile. That smile was enough to know how much this girl loves this demon.
"Even if you go to fight in the war, I'll still be waiting for you. I will be here, staring into nothingness to know when you will appear in front of me. I will forgive your every mistake and we will start from scratch together. I know firsthand that you are not like everyone else. You have your own problems and your own inner demons that keep you from moving forward. But I'm here..."
Yes... that's what she wanted for him....
"I will protect you..."
Toru opened his eyes, scared, surprised and sad... His breath trembled and the memory of the first person who loved him came back to his mind. The mother who loved him more than anyone else before all that was destroyed in front of his eyes, that woman who protected him until the end of his life.
[There was something he used to wish for.]
It was Alek's voice from a moment deep in his memories. It was a moment when Alek could no longer feel, but still kept asking himself questions, answering those same questions in his own voice.
[There was something he used to wish for.]
But even if Toru tried to remember, he could no longer find that desire he had in the past.
Before he broke down with all the disastrous emotions that Gray's words generated in him, Toru pushed her back against the couch. His gaze was shadowed by the darkness of his bangs. All those emotions throbbing inside, broken and intertwined with one another, hurt him more than he could feel....
"Toru...?" Gray was confused. Although she could admit that she understood what was going on, that would just be a misinterpretation of Toru's actions.
At that moment Toru was having an internal conflict. He looked down at himself, trying to hold in the pain and longing; as he had always done, as he had always hurt himself by hiding how he felt from everyone around him. It's a shame, but that's how he grew up, hiding every symbol of sadness and pain because at some point he thought that showing his emotions would bring trouble to others.
Toru couldn't be more wrong, for in the end that very thing will be what will bring misfortune to the people around him.
To hide the tears that were about to escape from the corners of his eyes, Toru leaned over Gray and kissed her neck.
"Aah... Toru..."
Gray assumed Toru was in the mood after hearing all those pretty words, but she didn't realize it did nothing but heighten the disastrous emotions in Toru.
Biserka was right about one thing... Toru is still the same cruel and selfish child, one who is tied to the past, but also a child who, at least now, is trying to learn to feel emotions like normal people.
You know, Toru really likes high places, and that's not just a coincidence, after all. Toru was always strange, that's something everyone knows, but each of his actions almost always has a reason to be. As he climbs to the high places, Toru remembers the day he tried to take his own life, remembers the day he lost his emotions and longs to lose those emotions that hurt him so much once again.
[If only I could kill my memories]
Toru is someone who always avoids any confrontation with his own thoughts. A full-fledged coward. That already says a lot about his personality. A selfish, cruel, cowardly and traumatized child. Not a good combination. If anything, he'd be the closest thing to a monster.
"Wait, Toru. Slow down", she felt uncomfortable at the aggressiveness of Toru, who was giving her little bites on her neck.
Toru, with a mess on his mind, obeyed Gray and was gentler. He kissed her on the neck as he carefully removed her clothes. Gray didn't resist, for even though this was the second time she was going to do this, she was already mentally prepared. She just let herself go, for her love for Toru allowed her to do this sort of thing.
The first thing Toru was able to take off Gray's cape and blouse, exposing this girl's pale body. This time, she was wearing that sexy black outfit that Reines forced her to buy. Gray knew what was going to happen when she put this on. She thought it would make her look prettier for Toru. But what good are clothes when he's going to take them off you? Gray didn't think about that. It was more important the boy in front of her.
So Toru unclasped Gray's bra. Even if she thought Toru was staring at her breast, the truth was that she for some reason couldn't see Toru's face. Everything was darker than usual, but it made sense. Right now, Toru was using his eyes, Shigan, to make Gray unable to see his face. The genjutsu was very basic and formless, classic rookie, but it was enough for Toru to hide the tears that started to fall down his face.
Toru is not simply bored and tired of the monotony. The ten years he spent cooped up in the flower field broke him down even more. Toru thought that nothing was worthwhile anymore, that it had all become boring, but sadly it wasn't. It was as if a higher force wanted to see him. It was as if a higher force wanted to see him suffer, but here was Gray, who from now on was going to protect Toru from all possible suffering.
Love is a beautiful and dangerous word, but that word was much worse for Toru. However, Gray was going to change that perception Toru has.
As tears fell on Gray's chest, Toru's cloak evaporated into thin air along with his yukata and those horrible scars showed themselves once again. It even looked like those scars were a reflection of Toru's inner, shattered self, full of painful memories showing on his skin....
Gray wrapped his arms behind Toru's back. Realizing Toru paused, she took it upon herself to bring him back to reality. First she gave him a tender kiss on the lips and put her hand on his cheek.
Seeing her, Toru only felt more lost, but he didn't want to be seen this way. Every time someone saw inside him, everything vanished in his hands, but now....
"Gray...", a brittle voice this girl couldn't hear. "I-", but his words were stopped by one more kiss from Gray.
She simply wanted to tell him 'Shut up and do it'. Gray walked her hand down Toru's chest and caressed it. Toru felt he couldn't get aroused with so many depressing things on his mind, but he tried not to be discovered by Gray. So he attacked once more, grabbing one of Gray's breasts as he kissed her.
"Ugh... Angh..."
He massaged it gently as his tongue caressed Gray's tongue. In turn, Toru's small tears continued to crumble, running down Gray's face only to fade into the darkness. It had been a long time since Toru had last cried. It almost seemed like a dream combined with a nightmare.
When Toru hugged Gray to kiss her on the neck, he thought about how warm this girl's body is. Her hands were small and slender; delicate in an unknown way. Her skin was very smooth and soft, and she was so thin that he was afraid of hurting her. She is a girl, after all, a girl who loves him so much... But Toru didn't want to know that. He's afraid of that kind of feeling. But what could he do? Sink into depression? Keep feeling sorry for himself like a pathetic crybaby? Go crazy to the point of destroying everything around him? By this point it was already a miracle that Toru hadn't lost his sanity.
"Toru..."
And that cute voice erased the doubts in his mind for a second. He stopped dead in his tracks at the sound of Gray's voice, but Gray didn't want to stop. She grabbed him by the shoulders and pushed him back against the couch. This time she wanted to be the one to take the initiative. She felt no shame, for between lovers that shouldn't exist, so she slid her hands down Toru's abdomen and unbuttoned the obi of the boy's pants.
Toru did nothing to stop him. He was more busy trying not to break mentally. Gray had unknowingly taken advantage of that. She pulled off his pants and through the darkness she caught another glimpse of that thing that drove her so crazy, but....
"Isn't he hard?"
She was obviously going to notice. Toru made up an excuse to get out of this one.
"It's just that I'm... I'm a little nervous. That's all."
Gray was sympathetic. She touched her forehead to Toru's and closed her eyes. "I understand what you mean, but I..." she lifted her skirt to show Toru... "I can't hold it in anymore..."
That was more than shocking. Toru forgot everything again. It was as if something in his mind had short-circuited. Sure, he couldn't let go of all the disastrous emotions that keep eating away at his mind, but right now those problems were affecting someone else.
It was stupid to keep sinking into the darkness when there was someone who would be affected by this.
"I'm sorry. I had a lot to think about. I'll put that aside. I'll concentrate on you."
After Toru said that, Gray noticed that this guy was already ready to do it. So, a little impatient, she pushed her panties aside and sat on Toru, making this boy's dick go all the way in.
"Aaah...", she clung tightly to Toru. She dug her fingers into his back in a desperate attempt to hold back the slight pain that spread inside her. "It feels so tight", it was like an aching current running through her whole body, but that pain was outweighed by one more sensation.
Accepting Gray, Toru grabbed her waist and made her lift her hips. Doing this, with a little force, he pushed Gray's hips inward and penetrated her with a thrust.
Gray let out a moan that she quickly tried to stifle. Waver is sleeping right now. If this man ever woke up and saw the two of them doing this, it would certainly be a rather awkward situation. She then tried to cover her mouth by leaning on Toru's shoulder.
Likewise, Toru felt Gray's breath on his shoulder.