Chapter 6
One, two... carefully, no rush... just a little more... final seal!..
"Kagebunshin no Jutsu!" I exhale the technique's name. Aaand... yes! With a pop and a puff of smoke, an extremely familiar face appeared beside me.
"Looks like we did it!" My double smiled happily, getting to his feet. "Congratulations to myself! Ha-ha!"
"No kidding! But that was not as easy as I'd have liked." Pleased as punch, I flop onto the floor, exhausted, spreading my arms wide. I did it!
"Took a lot out of you, huh?"
"Half."
"Well... we expected that, right?" The clone quickly went to the kitchen and came back with a glass of water, which I gladly downed in one gulp. "It's a 'forbidden' technique, after all. Damn, that Tobirama... though here he's a she and they call her Tobiko — she really was something!"
The clone waved his arms enthusiastically, checking himself out from every angle.
"Yeah... A powerful technique... in every sense. I'm glad Naruko-chan shared it with me! But the cost!" I shake my head. "These clones 'devour' way too much. I might have enough for one more use — maybe two if I really push it — but that's it. I just don't have that much 'physical' chakra, and shadow clones run on exactly that."
"Haaa... You know, Naru-chan's an absolute monster! And don't frown — our brains are the same, so you know exactly what I mean. I'm definitely not talking about the Tailed Beast or her cooking!" We both shuddered, and the clone even covered his stomach with his hands unconsciously. Oh... "How many times did you fumble those seals, and on which attempt did you finally pull it off? That girl did it on her FIRST try, and not just one or two clones — a whole horde! Never mind that her Yang is a damn ocean — creating clones with just one seal!... I simply refuse to understand how that's possible."
"Instinct, I guess?.." I offered, listening to my clone's rant. Say what you will, but he's right — Naruko is truly something else! With her restlessness and total inattention to anything 'uninteresting,' you can't really call her anything but a slacker. Teaching her anything is crazy hard, and her almost total lack of academic knowledge paints a pretty clear picture. But here's the thing: 'dead-last' students don't just master B-rank jutsu off the cuff in under an hour and then start churning out shadow clones by the dozen with zero consequences!
"You just don't know what to make of it." My clone nodded, clearly following my thoughts perfectly. Well, of course — he's me.
We exchanged glances and sighed mournfully, both of us weighed down by the same tangled thoughts. What an incredible technique this is — 'Shadow Clones,' or more literally, 'Shadow Body Splitting Technique.' Basically, you just copy yourself into a solid double. The clone can not only interact with objects, but even perform techniques — and it's practically a fully functional person! The catch being — this copy knows it's temporary and just accepts that. And the number of uses you can find for this thing!.. From simple chores (though it feels like total blasphemy to use a B-rank technique for taking out the trash) all the way to training and combat support.
Still, I think I didn't act entirely right by 'buying' this technique from Naruko with a week of home-cooked lunches. No — Uzumaki was ready to give it to me for free!! But my conscience got the better of me, and I turned down such an insanely generous gesture. And then I even gave her a little lecture on 'A shinobi's techniques are their secret!' and made her promise not to throw her personal jutsu around so carelessly in the future.
After all, for a shinobi, their techniques are basically their life insurance. Their secrets — the key to survival and victory. That's exactly why it's pointless to demand anything exclusive, jutsu-wise, from someone like Akashi. It's just not the norm among shinobi to give things away for nothing. Apprenticeship is different — there, everything's up to the teacher: they train their student however and whatever they want, and no one can tell them otherwise. Technique exchanges between shinobi — mostly clanless ones — are a slightly different story. But that's exactly an exchange of things roughly equal in 'value.' Techniques taken in battle are another matter: they're split fairly among the squad that got them — to each according to their abilities, as the saying goes. Those techniques also get added to the 'publicly available' list, which full genin and above have free access to. But even though the knowledge is accessible, nobody's gonna teach you those techniques or just hand them over. Need a technique? Go to the right section of the library, verify your identity and rank, and dig through mountains of old scrolls, searching for something useful in stacks of junk — then learn it on your own, at your own risk. Sometimes techniques get sold, bought, stolen, taught for money... But just giving someone a technique — especially a high-level one — is incredibly rare. And even if you manage to get the scroll, that doesn't guarantee results. Sometimes there are nuances and tricks that aren't written down, and without a teacher or experienced user, the effect's way weaker. So Naruko's gesture can't be called anything but generosity. I don't think she even realizes the significance of what she did. Still, I'm in no position to complain — that'd just be asking the luck gods to smite me. And they're fickle as hell, so let's not.
"Well?.." The clone asked.
"Let's do it!" I nod and start forming the seals again. The double mirrors me perfectly.
"Kagebunshin no Jutsu!" Our voices merged on the technique's name.
Poof-poof — more smoke.
"The technique splits the user's chakra in half..." one clone mused.
"...which means each of us now has a quarter of the standard amount," finished another.
"Could be worse, right?" a third chimed in.
"Yeah. At least we're stable." A fourth scratched his head. "Four Kaorus are better than one, right?"
"Mm-hmm. But this looks like my ceiling for now." Checking internally, I note there's barely any chakra left.
"We need to level up!" one clone declared resolutely.
"We do."
"And how exactly do you see that happening?" another asked skeptically.
"Think for yourself — we've got the same brain!"
"Here's an idea..." a clone drawled thoughtfully. "Remember the mountain of toads? The clones there gathered natural chakra and sent it to the original. We can't do that, but what about the principle itself?"
"Worth a shot!" I nod. This is what four heads get you! Even if they're all mine, heh. "We could also try cutting the Yin cost."
"Even better — rework the whole technique to run on Spiritual Power!" Clone No. 1 said excitedly, slicing the air with his hand.
"Also a solid plan," No. 3 added. "'Spiritual Clones' — how's that sound, huh? But that's gonna take some thinking."
"Then let's think! Brainstorming doesn't take much chakra, right?"
"Done! Then — you two, dig into chakra replenishment options. Each take your own angle."
"I'll meditate on reworking the technique!"
"And I'll finally dive into shikigami and sealing jutsu." I smile, satisfied. Shadow clones... a divine technique! At the very least, I can work on several things at once, and that alone is worth a ton. I've gotta make Naruko-chan an extra-special lunch tomorrow!
"Well then — shall we begin shamelessly exploiting the most famous, most broken power-leveling method for those isekai'd into 'Naruto'?!" one clone asked with cheerful excitement. "Power-leveling — banzai!"
"Banzai!" we shouted in unison.
And we began to grind.
One-two, push!
"Hop! Mmm... That was surprisingly easy," I commented, landing behind the tall lattice fence surrounding Training Area No. 44 — also known as the "Forest of Death." As I'd just proven, getting inside was stupidly simple.
Up close, the forest grown by Senju Hashirako was Awe-Inspiring. The trees — towering like they were centuries old — spread their broad canopies across this entire territory, hiding countless dangers in their leaves. Tuning in to the world around me, I felt the sheer strangeness of this place with my whole body — it was like stepping into another world! "What bizarre sensations... This whole forest is just overflowing with life force! Is this the power of Wood Style?.."
After thinking over the laughable security, I figured it just wasn't needed. This place is inside Konoha's borders — who's there to guard it from? Besides, I doubt the locals are dying to get out. Seems like a completely different ecosystem here, and I'd bet the chakra-mutated wildlife wouldn't exactly be comfortable in less energy-saturated areas. Just what did Hashirako do here to create THIS?
On the flip side — works for me! Once inside, I understood how different this place really is: the boundary between the "physical" and "energy" worlds is way thinner here. The concentration of natural chakra is off the charts. That's exactly why the creatures here changed and mutated, getting many times bigger and stronger. The plant life changed too — even more than the animals. A lot of the flora developed unusual, often unique properties — which makes them incredibly valuable. It's not for nothing that Area 44 is considered, in certain Konoha circles, one of the top sources of rare ingredients. Medicines, stimulants, poisons... the list goes on, and the prices are sky-high — the Forest of Death wasn't named that just to sound poetic. Gathering ingredients here is seriously dangerous, especially if you don't know the local realities. Usually, harvesting is done by a team of experienced shinobi escorted by a couple of jonin, and those mission rates fall somewhere between C- and B-rank. Even though special teams periodically thin out the Forest to eliminate the nastiest creatures, it doesn't make things that much easier.
So what am I doing in this deathtrap? Money, obviously! Or rather — stuff I can turn into money. Valuable herbs, ingredients. Plus, I need some things myself, and it's way cheaper to get them on my own — even if it's a bit harder. But cheaper! Water grass root alone goes for a full 200 ryo per 10 grams on the internal market! And that's dried — fresh roots cost two to three times more. So my motives are pretty transparent, I'd say.
Besides, I've got a few tricks to make my stay here less deadly — and dodge most unpleasant encounters with the local wildlife. It's actually pretty simple — just ask for help!
Stepping under the trees, I ventured a little deeper into the woods and, shrugging off my small basket, got ready for the ritual. From my pocket I pulled a short piece of thin rope I'd woven myself from rice straw and hemp — a Shimenawa, symbol of the connection between This World and the Other. Took me forever to make, especially at this tiny size, but so worth it! Focusing, I channeled my spiritual power into the shimenawa and called out to the mitamashiro — the minor spirits — asking them to show themselves.
Shinto absorbed not just faith's mysteries and magic, but also totemism, shamanic elements, and other spiritual practices. In Asian mystical traditions, you can't really isolate anything in a "pure" form, and what I was doing now was kind of a blend: through the amulet and words, I was reaching out to the spirits with a request — almost like a shaman.
Oh, and here they are! In the rustling leaves, I felt their timid presence.
"Come on, show yourselves. I won't hurt you," I called kindly, settling down by the roots of a tree.
Kodama — minor forest spirits that live inside trees. They look like translucent little humanoids with oversized heads, their faces just three black dots where eyes and a mouth would be. They were the ones peeking out at me now, poking their big heads right through the bark.
"Trrk-trrk-trrk!.." They shook their heads, making a sound somewhere between stones rattling in a plastic bottle and branches snapping.
"Hey there, little ones! Don't be scared of me, okay?" I held out my hand, the rope on my wrist glowing faintly. Kodama are weak mitamashiro — they don't understand human speech. But they still Understand! The trick is — no malice in your heart, just open friendliness. They'll sense it. That's exactly why, after hiding at first, the kodama eventually peeked back out — and the nearest one, the bravest, climbed all the way out of the tree and, with comical awkwardness, grabbed my index finger with its tiny hands. That's a good sign! Spirits like these don't usually show themselves to humans. And shinobi and other chakra users? Even less. At least, that's my take from watching them. Probably why shinobi have barely ever run into spirits in any real way: the spirits are kind of scared of them — see them as a threat — and keep out of sight.
"Trrk-trrk!" It shook its head.
"Trrk-trrk-trrk-trrk-trrk-trrk..." The others responded, making quite a racket.
"Pleased to meet you too." I smiled, satisfied. Contact established! The great thing about kodama is they're totally peaceful spirits — no backstabbing to worry about. But still... understanding them is tricky. Or rather — it's hard to grasp their way of "talking" and interpret it right. Kind of tiring. "Hm, you're a noisy bunch, aren't you?"
That comment wasn't random — drawn by all the tree-folk commotion, dim little lights started flickering in the tall grass. Wisps — also mitamashiro living in this forest.
"Can you help me with something?" I asked, tying the shimenawa around a tree root. This caused a huge stir among the kodama: they scurried everywhere, checking out the rope from every angle, looking incredibly excited. And their numbers had shot up: there were already about a hundred on just "my" tree, never mind the surrounding area. The noise was... indescribable. My head actually started aching a bit. "Will you help? If so, I'll leave this gift for you."
A win-win offer. For a shimenawa — especially one infused with human spiritual power — they'll agree to practically anything! For minor spirits like these, this is a serious treasure. It protects them from stronger, nastier entities that wouldn't mind snacking on the weak and kicking them out of their homes. And the spiritual power itself is just as valuable as the sacred rope. I'm not totally sure what they use it for, but it seems like they can grow stronger from it. Human spiritual power is a delicacy for denizens of the Other Side — often the very reason evil spirits attack humans, right up there with wanting to steal a physical body for kicks. But peaceful, weak spirits like these can't get human spiritual power on their own — they're too weak, and not inclined to attack anyway. A gift like this — or more precisely, payment for my request — guarantees near-total success. I'm simply offering them something they can't refuse.
That's the whole essence of dealing with spirits like these. Simple, almost businesslike relations: you give me, I give you. Sure, there are other ways — command, or demand by force — but I'd rather be decent and pay for services. The rest I'll save for less kind and peaceful spirits: those you can boss around and bully. Because those parasites don't understand anything else.
Heh, need I mention how eager the kodama were after that offer? The multiplied crackling-rattling made my ears ring. And a little swarm of lights started swirling around my face, flickering nonstop.
"Alright, alright — quiet, quiet, everyone!.." I pleaded, shaking my head a few times. Brr!! "I'm looking for something. This..." Opening my basket, I pulled out a small pouch and poured a bit of dried herb onto my palm. "This. You know where it grows?"
One of the little caricature humanoids climbed onto my hand and studied the dried redstem petals with the most thoughtful look — redstem being an ingredient for a really effective wound-healing salve. After turning the petals this way and that, the kodama hopped and started insistently pointing somewhere off to the side.
"That way?"
"Trrk-trrrrrk!"
"Can you take me there?"
"Trrrrrrrrrk!" The kodama — deftly, though from an outside view it still looked clumsy and hilarious — climbed onto my shoulder and, with an air of great importance, pointed its "pointer" in the right direction.
"Great. And what about you? Want to help too?" I turned to the now-hushed wisps. They flashed intensely and even started making something like a barely audible chiming. "Alright then, how about this: can you warn me about danger?"
"Zi-zi-ziii..." A chime... that sounded puzzled? Didn't understand me?
"Well... danger." Hm... How to explain this to them... Ha-ha — why'd I suddenly think of Naruko?.. "Danger. Danger — you understand?"
"Zi-zi-zii?.."
"Oh... Something... that might eat me?.. Bite me?.. Wound me? Hurt me? Nasty, hungry creatures?.." Oh, looks like they got that one. At least, I'm taking their rapid flashing as a yes. "You understand? Really??? Great! Then help me out, please. I won't skimp on the reward."
With that, I pulled out a small bead, also charged with my spiritual power. I prepared for this trip pretty thoroughly — thought of almost everything! The bead is small, just under a centimeter across, and — most importantly — carved from a shiny stone. And wisps? They're basically magpies. They love shiny stuff — anything that catches the light just right.
Judging by the intense, bright flares, the louder chiming, and the swirling dance these little light-clots did around the bead, I knew I had the fireflies in my pocket too.
Don't wanna jinx it, but... this expedition might just go better than I hoped! At least I've made friends with the local mitamashiro, and that alone is no small thing. A few more visits like this, and I won't even have to call — they'll come running the moment I step into their territory. And after that, maybe they'll even do me the occasional favor for free. Minor spirits — especially nature spirits — talk to each other constantly, and I could easily build up a certain "reputation" among them all, not just the ones in this specific forest.
Well then — guides found, helpers recruited. Time to get started!
"And I really hope those wisps understood me. Otherwise, becoming a snack for some nasty thing would be... less than fun," I thought briefly, being led by a flock of tiny forest folk and fireflies deeper into the Forest of Death.
I'll say this right now: the trip went even better than I'd expected! The kodama knew their enormous home inside and out, guiding me to exactly the right spots without fail. Sure, we had to take some serious detours a few times — and once or twice just flat-out run: the locals weren't exactly thrilled to see a passerby. And once again — thank you, Naruko, for the Shadow Clone technique. Sending a double ahead does wonders for your life expectancy in the Forest of Death's aggressive environment. Even so, with all the running around and exhausting techniques, by the end of the day I'd stuffed my basket to the brim with all kinds of ingredients. I even found the shell of a giant blunt-snouted chakra-beetle! Those horrifying bugs stand about a meter and a half tall — not counting leg height — and run two to three meters long. Their temper is foul and aggressive, they never stay in one place, always moving in search of food. I was insanely lucky to stumble on an abandoned nest with egg remnants still inside.
"Gonna sell 'em high, gonna sell 'em high!.." I hummed happily under my breath, making my way home through the twilight. I was filthy, exhausted, stank of something foul (accidentally stepped in it), but absolutely ecstatic. "Money, money, money..."
And I'm not greedy — I'm thorough! Even with the roughest estimates, I was holding a small fortune in my hands — worth maybe a hundred thousand ryo. Or even two hundred! Though, of course, I'll have to offload at lower prices, especially selling to Village reps... but some items I can push for more. This much'll cover scrolls, supplies, special ink... and incense, and special paper... and tools... and... and more, and more, and more!...
"But first — I need a bath! I reek..." I thought with displeasure, briefly sniffing my hair, tied back in a short tail. Yeah... I've already gotten used to it. Which makes it terrifying to imagine how bad I actually smell right now!
So — quick stop home, drop off my precious cargo, grab clean clothes, and head straight for the public baths. Our little dorm doesn't have a real bathtub, after all. And I felt so disgusting!..
The baths!.. Now this is something. The locals really understand the art of bathing relaxation. What a pleasure — scrubbing yourself to a shine, skin squeaking, then collapsing into a hot pool for an hour or two.
"Divine! The baths were invented by the gods..." I whispered in bliss, sliding down the smooth stones into the water. A few men — shinobi, judging by the scars — chuckled amiably.
Soaking in the comfortably hot water, I lazily reviewed everything my clones had brainstormed over the past few days. Thanks to the library and — let's praise ourselves — a decent imagination and broad knowledge, I had a ton of suggestions and ideas for improving my situation. It's almost scary: anything that's purely mental work, Shadow Clones accelerate in proportion to their number. So what if, with two or three clones out, I'm basically a non-combatant? I don't need combat right now. What matters is that the duplicates are still me — my memories, my knowledge — and they can use that knowledge, accumulate it, and then transfer it back to me. Increasing their own ephemeral coefficient of usefulness for the future. Efficiency grows exponentially, which makes me very happy.
Although — I do envy Uzumaki a little, burying enemies under waves of shadow "cannon fodder." But just a little. Purely male pride, and very, very rarely. To each their own — nobody can be the best at everything.
"Mmm... bliss!.." I thought lazily, slowly but surely drifting past the edge of sleep. "Sort the spoils... set aside the holly... for that antidote.. and those roots.. and a little pinch of everything... later.. synthesize.. make it thicker.. synthesis?.. thicker?..."
"Eureka-glub!!!" I suddenly yelled, bolting upright. It went badly — my hand slipped on the smooth stone and I valiantly swallowed a mouthful of water. But that didn't matter. Nothing mattered! It was like a revelation. Like lightning in my brain! Flash — and there it was!
"Hey, what's all the noise?" came an annoyed voice from the side.
"Oh, sorry," I muttered, spitting out water. "Dozed off a little. Weird dream..."
"Right, right..." Someone snorted nearby, but I'd already forgotten the minor awkwardness.
To hell with it all! Sitting in the water, I frantically gathered my scattered thoughts back together. It was... incredible. Now I really believe those stories about sudden epiphanies — Archimedes and all that. Baths really were invented by the gods!
Of course! It's so stupidly simple — genius in its simplicity! If it turns out I don't have much chakra, what's stopping me from making reserves?! Gotta test this! And I already know it's possible — the First Hokage's amulet! If I'm not wrong, and canon isn't lying, the Shodai Hokage somehow managed to crystallize chakra. In other words — give it structured physical form. What's stopping me from trying the same thing? If I get lucky, if it works — the chakra quantity problem might not be solved, but it'll get way less dire! Kami, how simple!.. Can't store it inside me — I'll carry it with me! Maybe I'm getting ahead of myself, but the possibilities are intoxicating. And I'm already pretty good at externalizing energy — spiritual energy, at least! Just need to adapt the principle to new conditions! I practically had to hold myself back from running laps around the bath, or bolting home to try it "right this second!" — just as I was, stark naked.
No. Gotta calm down. Cool my head, settle the excitement. Today, I rest! No experiments, no training. Nooommm... My soul is tranquil. Nooommm... My heart unhurried, my head cool. Nooomm...
"Oya, Nagisa-san — that you?" someone nearby asked, surprised.
"Oh, Sakurai-kun! Good evening. Treating yourself to a soak at the end of the day too?" I smiled at the boy. From the look of it, he'd already washed and was ready for his own portion of relaxation.
"Mind if I join you?"
"Splash on in." I shrug. Why's he even asking? "Plenty of room. And — as they say — in the bath, everyone's equal."
After a polite laugh, Sakurai "splashed in" beside me with a blissful smile.
"Hard day?"
"A bit. Ugh, my shoulders are killing me!.." Haruno complained, massaging said body parts. "Akashi-sensei, I swear, picks the most physically brutal missions just for us."
"What was it this time?" I glanced over with curiosity.
"Merchant quarter. Traders," he answered, short and expressive. Oh!.. That explains it: there's always something to haul around those merchants — heavy and bulky.
"I see," I voiced my thought.
"Speaking of which — you weren't there today, Nagisa-san!" the pink-haired boy declared with obvious reproach. "Where were you all day?!"
"Umm... Didn't Naruko-chan tell you?" I blinked in surprise, turning to Sakurai.
"Naruko? Tell me what?" Now Haruno blinked in surprise. "She didn't say anything?.."
"...I see." Yep. Asking Naruko to tell the team leader I was "taking an unscheduled day off" was a terrible idea. She completely forgot!
"And why Naruko, by the way? And what was she supposed to say?" The boy started firing off questions.
"Ah... I asked her to pass on a message — that I had business today. Why Naruko?" I scratched under my nose. "We're just neighbors."
"Neighbors?"
"Literally share a wall." I nod.
"Oh..." Sakurai said, surprised. "Ah..."
"Sakurai, you bastard!!!" A shout rang out from across the bath, cutting the boy off. Looking over, we saw a guy about Haruno's age. Murky green eyes and dull-blond hair clearly marked him as a very specific Yamanaka representative. "I asked you to wait for me, Forehead!"
"You just take way too long washing up, Piglet," Haruno snapped back. "Like some kind of girl."
Ara-ara — Sakurai's acting totally different. Is it because this guy's an old friend, or because he doesn't have to keep his personality in check without a certain emo-hedgehog in sight?
"Who're you calling a girl, teme?!" The blonde squared up, tossing a seriously long ponytail behind his shoulder.
"You got hearing problems, konoyaro?!" Leaping up, Sakurai stood across from the blonde, turning into practically his mirror image: squared up and ready to throw hands any second.
And there they stood — staring daggers at each other — until the blonde finally noticed me watching the "show."
"Oh, forgive me — that guy made me forget my manners entirely!" He pointedly ignored Haruno and turned to me. "Allow me to introduce myself: Yamanaka Ino. And you must be Nagisa-san? Sakurai's mentioned you."
"Oh, has he?" I was surprised. No — not that this boy was Ino. I'd already figured that much. What surprised me was Sakurai mentioning me. It's unexpected in the sense that we haven't had many points of contact that'd make either of us worth mentioning to friends. Or maybe?.. Something feels fishy.
"Yes. And, you know?.." Ino swept his eyes over me, very demonstratively. "You somehow don't give off the impression of an 'irresponsible and frivolous' person."
"Hey!!!" Haruno shouted. Ah. I see now... "Na-Nagisa-san, no!.. Why, you jerk!"
"You said it yourself!" The boys locked hands, wrestling with everything they had. But since they were evenly matched, the struggle was intense and... completely fruitless.
"Doesn't matter what I said in the heat of the moment, Swine!!" the pink one growled. "You didn't need to remember it and repeat it!"
"Then you shouldn't have said it, Forehead!.."
"Pfhh! Ha-ha-ha!.." I burst out laughing. Cherry-kun's face was just way too picturesque! And this whole outburst, this clash!.. "Oh, you two are something! Ever tried manzai? I'm telling you — you'd be a hit! Ha-ha-ha!.. But, Ino-kun — Sakurai-kun isn't entirely wrong in his assessment. It's just that I genuinely don't like putting in a lot of effort where it can be avoided. And I am serious pretty often — it's just not always obvious."
"Oh, I get it," Ino said with strain, still locked in their stubborn head-butting match with Sakurai. "And I apologize for this... awkwardness. It's just that this... narrow-minded... blockhead... doesn't... get... that kind of thing!.."
"I'll... give you... blockhead... bastard!.." The "blockhead" rasped, upping the pressure.
"Like hell!.. H-haa!" Twisting sharply, Ino wrenched his fingers free from his opponent's grip and... "YOU'RE WIDE OPEN!!!" He tore the towel right off Haruno's hips. "Ha-ha!.. Oh, Forehead-kun — just the same as when we were kids! Poor thing — you haven't grown one bit..."
Eyeing the dimensions, Ino put on a sympathetic and totally fake grimace.
"Ino, you ANIMAL!!" The furiously reddening boy roared, his face nearly matching his hair. "Yours is even smaller!"
"Ha-ha-ha!.. Poor, poor Big Forehead. Looks like all the nutrients went straight up there instead of the necessary places! Me — unlike the tragically undersized — I've got a bit more!"
"Bullshit!" Sakurai kicked the water. Spray flew straight into Ino's face, forcing him to shield his eyes. And right at that moment, Haruno attacked — repeating his opponent's towel maneuver.
"Ah, damn!.."
"Heh — not so big after all!" Sakurai snorted smugly. "Where's that 'normal' size you were bragging about, huh?.. Kinda lacking."
"Hrgh!.. Still bigger than yours!" The blonde proudly put his hands on his hips and thrust his pelvis forward. "See that?"
"Not bigger at all! Where do you see 'bigger,' you blind boar?!"
"Look closer, look closer!.."
"As if I need to admire your..."
Watching these two enthusiastically measure their manhood, I was literally dying of laughter. I don't know what the reason was, but the whole thing looked absolutely hilarious. And I wasn't the only one: the men who hadn't left the baths yet were also rolling with laughter at the show. Ha-ha!.. Sure, these guys look a bit older than their age — a very nice side effect of chakra on the body — and sure, they've had special shinobi training. But they're still teenagers — thirteen, fourteen years old. Their worldview, adjusted for local realities, matches.
I don't know if it was herd instinct or what, but suddenly I felt a childish impulse too — and I rose decisively from the water.
"Forgive me, boys, but..." The towel drops into the water. "You'd need to grow just a little more before pulling this kind of thing."
Both debaters turned toward me.
"Damn," Ino cursed.
"I'll grow more," Sakurai shook his head grimly and firmly. "This is a temporary defeat!"
"Heh. Good luck!" I smiled at my stupid, silly "victory." But a victory nonetheless!!
"Ke-ke-ke!.. The little ones are making quite a racket, eh?" One of the shinobi laughed. "Lads — seems you don't quite get something." The scarred, bearded man approached us. "Allow me to explain!!!"
And he ripped the towel from his hips!
We lowered our gaze. Lowered it a little more. And just a little more...
Damn it!
"We humbly concede defeat!" we exhaled in unison, bowing.
"Mother of—!.. This... this is unreal!" My head was practically spinning from the shock.
"That's impossible... it's impossible, right?.." Sakurai asked in a hollow, lost voice.
"Knees... down to the knees..." Ino whispered, cosmic emptiness in his eyes.
"A demon... it's a demon.. that kind of thing!.. humans don't have those.." I agreed with my comrades.
"Ke-ke-ke-ke-kee!" Proudly planting his hands on his hips, the man thrust his pelvis and swayed. And it swayed... "Understand now, youngsters?! You've got a hundred years of growing before you can even approach true shinobi! Ke-ke-ke!.."
Damn it, stop moving! STOP MOVING!!! My eyes!
"Swaying... swinging..." Haruno muttered.
"Knees... knees..." And Ino appeared to have short-circuited.
"Hee-hee-hee!.. Forehead-chan, Piggy-chan — don't be so down!" A bright voice suddenly rang out from behind the bamboo wall.
"Yes, boys! No need to be sad!.." Another, clearer voice echoed the first.
"Girls don't always care about size!.."
"But it matters! Hee-hee-hee!..."
"Ara-ara — but there are a couple of methods!... To increase it quite decently!"
"And where'd you learn about those?"
"Ara-ra, well... There were a couple of times..."
"Kya!!.. Do tell, do tell!.. I'm curious too!.."
"Boooys, don't be sad! If you want — big sister will definitely comfort you!" A very sultry voice came from beyond the boundary between the women's and men's baths.
"Forehead-chan — come to me, big sister will console you!.."
"Oh, then I'll take Piggy-kun!.. Kya, young ones! Love them!"
D-damn it — that's the women's section!.. And the women apparently heard everything. Glancing at the boys, I see their faces flooding with color as they cover themselves with their hands in shame. And suddenly I feel very uncomfortable too. Especially after that last remark.
"Kheh, they're making a racket!" The man snorted. Walking up to the wall, he jumped, grabbed the edge, and pulled himself up. Hop — and he's sitting on the fence, back to us... "What do you need those greenhorns for?! BEHOLD! Here stands before you — a genuine, first-rate MAN!!"
And he spread his legs!!!
Eeek!..
And it went very, very quiet. So quiet you could hear the crickets.
And then everything exploded.
"KYAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!" The resulting scream made the fence shudder and nearly deafened everyone within range.
"EEEE!!! I SAW IT, I SAW IT!!!"
"EEEE! KYA!!"
"PERVERT!!!"
"Kheh, how sensitive!" The man snorted, falling backward like a scuba diver. And not a moment too soon! The air filled with the whistle of flying steel. And not just steel — the kunoichi were clearly striking first and asking questions never, because the upper part of the fence simply vanished in streams of cutting wind and bursts of fire.
"STOP, YOU FREAK!" The wall shattered to splinters, revealing the women's half of the baths. Paradise... And a mob of enraged hellcats... with angelic faces.. and an aura terrifying enough to buckle your knees.. naked...
"What — a real man impressed you?! At least you saw one once in your lives, huh?! KNOW THE POWER OF MEN! Bgghghgh!"
Laughing, the man dashed across the water like solid ground, lethal techniques of various elements chasing after him.
"Pervert! Bastard! I'LL KILL YOU!!" His pursuers screamed at his back, chasing him in a frenzy of rage.
"Kya!! DON'T LOOK, YOU PERVERT!!" Came from beyond the ruined wall. Apparently not everyone joined the chase.
And then it hit me. I realized I hadn't been with a woman for an ENTIRE LIFETIME. I lived with monks... wasn't exactly a priority.. And the body has matured... and is dropping not-so-subtle hints.. gh, damn it!
I splash into the water, using all my strength to hide my... predicament. Beside me, my brothers in misfortune — Ino and Sakurai — are doing the exact same thing. Their faces aren't just red enough to light a cigarette — they could boil water on them. The boys were that embarrassed.
And the kunoichi are beautiful... toned, trained bodies.. graceful movements.. lush curves..
"I need... to find out. Yeah... I wonder — does Konoha have brothels?.." I thought briefly, stealing glances at Paradise and its inhabitants.
Notes:
* Ninmu – shinobi quests/missions.
* Manzai – A traditional Japanese form of comedy show featuring two performers.