I effectively had seven mana at my disposal if I didn't want to be wasteful right now which should allow me to pull off a small combo to get me a bunch of disposable minions to throw at the vault. The combo was effectively Terramorphic expanse for a swamp followed by Sonic screwdriver and Talisman of conviction for a black mana and two miscellaneous mana. Use one mana and that black mana to summon Orcish bowmasters. The key here is that the card depicts three orcs so that's what i'll likely get.-
When that gets summoned I'll get a 0/0 orc army token from it's effect [Amass orcs 1] that automatically get a+1/+1 so that's basically a bunch more 1/1s that I get even if only temporarily. From there I use that last free mana along with fortified village and my last remaining forest to get two more mana that i'll use alongside two life to summon Phyrexian Metamorph. That comes onto the battlefield as a copy of any creature or artifact, in this case Orcish bowmasters. This will trigger another [Amass orcs 1] that will put a +1/+1 on my already existing orc army making them all 2/2s even if only temporarily mine.-
I can then just pop open the vault and throw bodies at it and hope it's enough to clear out any nastiness in there.
'Alright, lets get this dark party started right!' I thought with a grin as I got my combo started by tapping the two artifacts for mana.
I then headed outside because I was fairly certain the garage wouldn't be big enough to fit all of this. I first used Terramorphic expanse that burned up and was replaced by a swamp that I used immediately for the black mana. I then took the Orcish bowmasters cards from my collection and summoned it. -
The card expanded and as expected three hideous curved pointy eared dirty orcs walked out into the world with bows in hand. Their tattered leather armor was filthy and barely even looked like it would serve it's intended purpose and their bows were crude carved things with what appeared to be woven hair as the strings. The three orcs glowed and a black card depicting an army of orcs manifested above them before rapidly expanding and I watched in awe as a literal small army of orcs walked out of the card before it flew to my hand glowing.-
'Interesting, so token cards don't vanish after being summoned, is this because the system needs something to represent them for the targets of other cards?' I pondered curiously.
Whatever the case I was looking at a bunch of dirty scrap armor and weapon wielding orcs that had to number two or three hundred easy. I came to a solid and reasonable opinion as a result of this, tokens be OP in real life. -
Shaking my head I moved on to summoning the fortified village land that I took out my last remaining forest to prevent it tapping and then tapped it myself to get one mana. I then used the forest to get my last needed mana and took out the Phyrexian Metamorph card and used all that mana and two life to summon it targeting my bowmasters. The card stretched flat and sucked in my orcs to my surprise before twice the number of orcs that went in came out like freaky twins. The new set became obvious when they started glowing and the orc army card in my hand got hit with a glowing orb of energy and gained that extra +1/+1. -
Like every time I had used a card I watched in awe as the grunting shabby army of orcs collectively started to stand straighter and their armor and weapons were just the smallest amount less shitty from before. I ordered the hatch dug up and the army had it done almost immediately. I used my key to unlock it and commanded them to follow me down. While they came down the ladder I opened the metal door and walked to the control panel beside the sealed vault door. On the door a large faded and peeling blue twenty three sat.-
I walked up to the controls and understood immediately how you could go from not knowing how to open it to immediately succeeding. Every switch and light was labeled all but telling you what to do. The largest switch in the center labeled "Door movement" was in the "closed" position and crossing my fingers forced it up into the "open" position. The rumbling I heard immediately told me the door was opening and I wisely backed well up and put as many of my orcs between me and the door as I could.-
I tried not to gag at the stench of so many orcs as the vault door grinded as the mechanism forced it to move and then rotated it to the side. Inside there was nothing that I could see telling me this was a control vault. Quite the opposite from the skeletons littering the ground on the inside of the door.
"Move in and disable the closing mechanism but don't break it. Once that's done I want the lot of you to check each and every floor, room and closet of this vault. If you find survivors do not engage unless they turn hostile. If you find any robots or creatures the same applies. Destroy any and all turrets or traps you find. If you find an area you can't explore report back if it's an environmental hazard but if it's just blocked remove the blockage." I ordered and the orcs rushed into the vault.
More came in from outside in a constant flow while the initial group worked to take the closing mechanism down without destroying it. I wasn't nearly stupid enough to leave it up before I thoroughly explored the vault to find out what fucked up experiment this one had.-
If the thing was set to close automatically and not open from the inside I'd be trapped and I wasn't having that. It didn't take long for me to find out one problem with the vault though as a loud roar ripped through the air from the direction of the hallway the orcs were pouring into. It was hard to explain but I could sort of feel the orcs dying through the token card in my hand and fast at that. I didn't hesitate to add an even more unfair advantage to my already unfair army by pulling out my mutagenic growth card and paying the two life the activate it targeting the token card.-
This added another +2/+2 to the two two card. The shift was immediate and drastic as the orcs all collectively stood fully straight and grew muscular with actually decent weapons and armor now adorning them. I felt the death rate of the orcs stop abruptly at that. I also watched as the big engine looking door mechanism was taken down entirely so I boldly walked into the vault to see what sort of monsters this place held.