Excerpts from the report of Root ANBU operatives:
…Today (May 25) marked the tenth covert elimination attempt against the subject "Baldy." Also a failure…
For reference, the subject did not notice the previous nine attempts — or pretended not to. Strong-acting paralytic poisons, sedatives, certain classified Root compounds, and modified lethal toxins sourced from Suna were used, added undetected to the subject's food or applied to throwing needles in traps placed throughout Konoha, including within his personal apartment…
"Baldy" triggered every trap, but the expected results were not achieved…
…From observation of the subject it is clear that the target, despite his harmless and dim-witted appearance, is an experienced shinobi of Kage caliber. In sparring with Mitarashi Anko he demonstrates speed comparable to that of the legendary Fourth Hokage. On this basis alone, an SS rank classification is warranted. The upper limit of his physical capabilities remains unknown…
Further covert elimination or sedation attempts for transport to the Root underground facilities remain in question, as no Root ANBU operative on staff is capable of completing this assignment.
Outside contracted specialists may need to be engaged…
Surveillance of the subject continues.
Awaiting further instructions…
The week had flown by for Saitama without him even noticing.
It seemed like just yesterday he had found himself alone, at night, in an unfamiliar forest. But seven days had passed, gone in the blink of an eye — and now Caped Baldy had begun to settle into the new role of an ordinary civilian in this strange world. No monsters, no gods, no alien invasions, no apocalypses. Nothing. Not even petty criminals to catch. The locals handled everything themselves. A calm, measured life.
True, his strength wasn't needed here. At least not yet. Though Anko had told him just how brutal this world could be — how world wars broke out here periodically, how dangerous things got beyond the village walls when you were running high-rank missions — but based on everything he had heard, the bald young man had concluded: compared to the world he had come from, this one was paradise, nothing less.
Boring… Saitama had thought at first.
But the feeling of gloom and indifference that had followed him from his "previous life" was retreating at intervals. And the one responsible for that turned out to be Naruto. Partly Anko as well.
The first — a loud kid on the surface, seeming like a simple-minded fool, but with a spine of titanium inside. Saitama himself had once had a spine just like it. There was also something magnetic about the boy, something that periodically broke through the bald hero's apathy and made him shake himself awake a little.
The second — simply a pretty and interesting girl who had been ordered to escort the bald hero. She got flustered and annoyed at him in such an amusing way, though Saitama couldn't see any obvious reason for it, which surprised him somewhat. Maybe she had just fallen for him? No, that was absurd. Though who could ever really understand girls.
Could his new acquaintances be called friends?
Saitama couldn't give a definitive answer to that yet. Probably — yes.
Perhaps this was where fate had been leading him? Not to find himself in beating down everything that threatened the world, but in something else? Ordinary people without superpowers managed to live somehow, find joy in life, find goals, chase their dreams.
I should find myself a new goal, flashed through Saitama's mind. But what? He stared at the book he was holding.
"Hm… 'Come Come Paradise'…" the hero muttered the title, scratching his chin. "And this is the most popular book around?…"
He had bought it yesterday, after training with his student. Since this world had no manga or light novels, Saitama had decided to brighten his leisure time somehow by picking up the local bestseller, authored by someone named Jiraiya. Mitarashi had shouted "Pervert!" for some reason at the time — though the young man never quite figured out who exactly she was addressing — and afterward, whenever she caught him reading it, she would periodically turn red as a ripe tomato.
In general, Saitama had only decided to go shopping for the first time on the third day. First and foremost, after receiving his allowance from Anko — she had only remembered the money on the third day, after their spar — Caped Baldy had decided to acquire some essential items alongside groceries. No, not underwear, not everyday clothes, and not soap.
Saitama rose from his bed, tossing the book aside, and walked to the window.
"My precious," the young man cooed, watering the cactus from an elephant-shaped watering can. A blissful smile had settled on the hero's face, and memories of the past days began drifting through his mind.
Yes. The moment he had received money, he had decided to buy a spiky plant. He found what he was looking for at the market almost immediately. But the watering can turned out to be a problem. Saitama wanted an elephant, but there was nothing of the sort anywhere. The young man and the girl had spent three days searching for an extravagant watering can. The bald hero had begun contemplating leaving the village temporarily to search elsewhere — and he voiced this idea to the kunoichi. Anko had hissed and quietly cursed at that. The girl couldn't fathom why a watering can was even needed. Couldn't he just water the plant from a cup — or, at worst, simply forget about the cactus entirely?
The young man had nearly given up hope, but on the sixth day a miracle occurred and Anko appeared in the morning with a small green elephant-shaped watering can. Saitama's joy knew no bounds. He pulled out his wallet and asked how much he owed, to which the girl waved it off and said: "Relax, it's a gift…"
The hero's mood improved noticeably after receiving the present. The kunoichi tactfully chose not to mention that the gift was as much from the Hokage as from her. Nor did she mention that several ANBU squads had been rapidly assembled for the occasion. They had been dispatched on a mission to the nearest trading posts to find the item — or, if necessary, to place an urgent special order with suppliers.
Mitarashi had been reporting to the Third consistently. When Sarutobi heard about the new Konoha resident's pressing problem at the time, he was not at all pleased with Saitama's thoughts about leaving the village perimeter. So the old man had decided to take matters into his own hands.
Naturally, none of this was known to Caped Baldy. And even if he had somehow found out about such minor details, it probably would not have changed anything in the end.
Having watered the cactus, Saitama finally surfaced from his memories. Setting the watering can on the windowsill, he picked up his book and headed to the training grounds where he met with Naruto — Training Ground 66.
He needed to come up with something original, because the exercises were looking far too easy for the boy, who turned out to have a truly monstrous level of endurance. At this rate, he would never push past his limit. And Saitama had a few ideas.
Perhaps in a while it would make sense to consult with Anko regarding the training, or to meet this strange Green Beast his companion had told him about. But that wasn't urgent. For now, Saitama's imagination was more than sufficient to transform the scrawny shinobi larva into a slightly beefier and sturdier one. And if the boy didn't break — then he could take him seriously. But that was a matter for the distant future.
Uzumaki Naruto was making enormous strides in training. His progress was nothing short of remarkable, especially considering he had only recently started training in earnest — just one week ago.
In addition to the three core types of physical exercise — each taking four hours — Naruto was using his clones to drill stances and strikes, shuriken and kunai throwing, as well as tree-walking and water-walking through chakra use.
Naruto nearly jumped for joy when, on the fourth day of training, Anko showed him these tricks. How could he not? Finally, someone was teaching him cool things. According to the kunoichi, these exercises were excellent for developing chakra control. The clones had mastered the task by evening. Even Mitarashi's eyes went wide when, the following day, the clones could hang upside down from thick branches while the original did sit-ups in the same position, feet anchored to a rock face.
Water-walking didn't go as smoothly — whenever the clones broke through the surface, they would disperse after a short time. The copies barely managed to stand on the water only by the sixth day. Slow movement came on the seventh.
But this was only a small part of the visible progress. After all, a portion of the clones were absorbing knowledge at the village library and at the Academy. And on his very first day of training, Naruto had decided to consult his former sensei — Umino Iruka. The man was smart, worked as a full teacher at the Academy, and therefore ought to know what a future Hokage — the strongest and wisest in the world — would need to learn.
With the words: "Iruka-sensei! Tell me what to read to become an awesome Hokage!" — he had turned to the school teacher.
The chunin was somewhat taken aback by such drive and thirst for knowledge. When Iruka asked "What brought this on?" — Naruto answered that he had a cool new teacher who demanded a great deal from him, but it was worth it.
Umino had scratched his head thoughtfully at that, mentally singing the praises of Kakashi's pedagogical talent — and feeling slightly inferior as a teacher himself. And there was indeed reason to be envious. Kakashi had barely gotten out of the hospital, yet Naruto was already training diligently and reaching for new knowledge. Iruka, for his part, had failed over several years to drive into the blond boy's head the importance of the academic material taught at the Academy.
Knowing roughly the level of preparation in theoretical disciplines — or rather, the near-complete lack of it — the chunin jotted down a list of necessary reading on a sheet of paper. As he handed the sheet to Naruto, Iruka mentioned that he would be checking in on his former student's progress periodically.
Remarkably, Naruto had been feeling wonderful every morning for the past several days.
This was despite the fact that by evening he could only drag himself home on his last breath, sometimes falling asleep halfway to his bed. How could it be otherwise? Ten thousand repetitions on each core exercise, plus a hundred-kilometer run — the master had taken pity on his student and generously permitted a hundred for now. Before sleep the boy felt terrible: absolutely everything ached. His head was worst of all, since after his shadow clones dispersed in great numbers, in addition to the accumulated fatigue, a severe migraine would set in, and everything in front of his eyes would swim. Occasionally his nose even started to bleed.
Yet despite all the grueling training, his body seemed to be completely renewed by morning. Naruto was greatly surprised by this, but Anko had suggested it was perfectly possible, given that the Nine-Tailed Fox was sealed within him — and its chakra granted its host extraordinary regeneration.
And so now, after a light warm-up and a ten-kilometer easy run, Naruto stood facing his bald sensei. The genin felt an unprecedented surge of energy. The master had informed him that he was ready for the second level of training. Given the difficulty of the first level, Uzumaki silently appealed to every god he could think of that he would have the strength to survive the second.
"So then — changed your mind, Naruto?"
"No, Master Saitama!" the blond answered firmly.
The bald hero smirked and raised an instructive finger:
"Good. As I've said — you must train by trying to push past your own limits. But beyond endless training, personal combat experience is also vital, and you'll gain it through real confrontations with opponents…"
Saitama paused in thought, and Uzumaki's eyes lit up:
"Master, have you finally decided to teach me some combat moves? Or maybe we'll finally have a real spar? I want to learn to move the way you do! And also…"
"Okay, stop!" the bald young man cut him off. "Don't make noise, kid. No sparring with me yet."
"But…" the boy's shoulders dropped, his head hung. "Then how…"
"However," seeing the child's reaction, Saitama hastened to add, "you will get combat experience, that I can promise!"
Naruto stared at his teacher in surprise, while Saitama glanced sideways toward Anko, who was snoozing under a nearby tree — the girl had apparently decided to catch a short nap.
Beckoning the boy toward him, he continued in a whisper:
"I think we can leave our sleeping beauty for a while. Remember, Naruto — every man absolutely must know how to provide for himself."
Uzumaki nodded vaguely, still unable to figure out what the Master was getting at.
Seeing the boy's blank look, Saitama simply grinned:
"Let's go. It's hunting time…"
The next moment the bald hero was instantly at Naruto's side, and a second later the clearing of the training ground held only Anko, peacefully snoozing under her tree.
Moving via the upper paths came to Saitama with relative ease. At first, of course, the branches he pushed off from crumbled to splinters, and he landed exclusively on the ground — roughly a hundred meters away, having punched clean through the massive trees along the way. But after a couple of minutes, the bald hero got the hang of this mode of travel, and his leaps between trees began to at least vaguely resemble the clumsy jumps of a genin.
"Is it okay that we're here without permission?" Naruto asked, looking around. "This is the Forest of Death, after all. And I've heard it's pretty dangerous."
"Don't tell me you're scared?" Saitama smirked. "That doesn't sound like you. What about all those plans to become the strongest shinobi and Hokage?"
"As if," the genin muttered. "I'm not scared of anything, dattebayo!.. I'm just worried about getting in trouble with the old man afterward. Though he is kind. Despite all my pranks, he's never handed down any serious punishments," Uzumaki smiled.
"Heh, don't worry — old man Hiruzen won't find out. There's no tail on us, I checked."
Saitama had slipped away from the training ground so swiftly, the boy in tow, that the surveillance operatives hadn't even understood what had happened.
"A tail?" Naruto didn't follow.
The bald hero frowned mid-jump between trees, sinking into his thoughts — then gave a nod to himself and continued:
"Ever since I moved into your village, there have been people in masks following me constantly."
"ANBU?" Naruto asked in surprise. "But why?"
"Well, I don't know," Saitama shrugged. "Probably don't trust me. I'm new, after all — who knows what I might get up to."
"But they're just watching, right?" the blond turned to his teacher. "Maybe they're just providing protection?"
"Hm…"
Saitama scratched the top of his head in mid-leap, falling into deep thought over Naruto's question.
He had noticed the surveillance from the locals almost immediately after meeting Anko. The operatives were clearly masters of covert observation, but for Caped Baldy's super-vision and super-hearing, detecting them was nothing out of the ordinary.
The attention had been flattering at first. But after a couple of days of that constant itch at the edge of his senses — it had become genuinely irritating.
There had also been odd incidents: needles shooting out of the toilet in his apartment, nails in his bed, unpleasant spices in his food at diners, peculiar slips of paper in narrow alleyways that launched small metal objects straight at Saitama's bald head.
And the strangest part was that all of this only happened when Saitama was alone, without his escort. Mitarashi certainly didn't follow him around the clock. And his student spent most of his time training independently.
Strange customs they have here… flashed through his mind. The bald hero didn't especially enjoy receiving surprises from the locals — even if they posed no real threat.
Maybe it's some kind of game? Something like hazing the newcomer? Maybe I should play a little prank on those guys in return? I'll have to ask Anko…
"Master," Uzumaki's voice pulled him from his thoughts. "What are you thinking about?"
"Oh, nothing important," Saitama waved it off. "I think we can start soon."
A couple of moments later the bald young man stopped on a thick branch, listening for something, then dropped to the ground. The genin landed beside him immediately.
"We've gone deep enough into the forest," the hero said. "Anko mentioned that this training ground is mostly dangerous for clueless little kids. But you're not a child anymore, right, Naruto?"
Uzumaki looked up at his teacher and gave a firm nod:
"Yes, sensei… But I still don't understand what the training is."
Saitama struck an impressive pose, arms folded across his chest.
"Heh. Well, it's not exactly training," the young man grinned. "More like a survival test — and a lesson in obtaining food in the wild at the same time."
Naruto, seeing the bald sensei's smile — which made him suddenly want to disappear into the bushes — swallowed noticeably.
"AAAAAAA!" shouted the boy in the orange jumpsuit, running from something as fast as his legs would carry him.
Krr-krr-krr… came from behind.
In his panic, Naruto had completely forgotten about moving through the upper paths, so he ran blindly, crashing through the dense vegetation, repeatedly tripping over roots pushing up from the ground.
Finally he burst like a bullet into a clearing, frantically searching for his teacher.
"Master Saitama! Where are you?!"
"Why are you shouting?" came the calm voice of the bald hero, reading his book up in a tree.
"M-master. There's a g-grasshopper!" the genin reported in a stammering voice.
The boy was drenched in sweat, his body trembling.
"You're scared of a grasshopper?" Saitama looked up from his book. "What kind of man are you?"
"B-but it's enormous! And kunai bounce off it!.."
"Don't talk nonsense," the hero cut off his student. "Fear always makes things look bigger than they are — so pull yourself together and deal with the problem."
Naruto didn't have time to reply, because a creature the color of a swamp landed heavily in the clearing — something vaguely resembling a praying mantis. The insectoid was roughly four meters long. Its front grasping legs resembled sword blades. Its mandibles snapped angrily, producing an unpleasant chittering.
Saitama stared at the new arrival in surprise. The hero's eyes widened as he took in the strange arthropod.
"You…" the bald young man pointed at the mantis. "Impossible…"
The insectoid's head tilted, and a grating screech erupted from its mouth again.
From Naruto's direction, kunai and shuriken flew at the monster — but the projectiles, upon reaching their target, merely bounced off its body harmlessly. After another failure, Uzumaki formed a hand seal.
"Shadow Clone Technique!"
The clearing filled with billowing smoke, from which an orange sea of clones burst forth. The blond's copies immediately charged into close combat with a shout.
Naruto's strikes were perfectly executed, but they simply couldn't reach his opponent. The mantis shredded clones before receiving any damage. Some copies used shadow kunai and tried to pierce the insect's hide, but the results were predictable. Each one was dispelled by a single blade strike.
The monster began moving rapidly across the clearing, pressing its attack on the genin. A couple of times it nearly caught the original, who was saved in time by his clone brothers. Naruto dodged the sweeps of the natural blades by sheer miracle. Ten heartbeats later, there were no clones left.
Saitama, during all of this, stood frozen in a stupor. His face showed complete disbelief — he appeared to be in profound shock.
"This can't be…" Caped Baldy whispered. "Impossible. I can't believe my eyes…"
"Master, nothing is working!" Naruto shouted. He was weaving nimbly between trees, searching for any vulnerability in the monster. "I told you, it's impenetrable…"
Whoosh.
From one more sweep of the blade-limb, the boy dodged on pure instinct, barely tilting his head in time. His headband and a clump of blond hair fell to the ground.
Suddenly Uzumaki caught his foot on a root and went down on his back. The mantis lunged at its prey, preparing to skewer the genin on its limbs.
Boom.
Fragments of the insect scattered across the surrounding trunks and grass. Some of the monster's blood landed on Uzumaki.
"Pffh… Kgh… Bleh…" Naruto spat out the green slime that had gotten into his mouth.
The boy didn't understand at first what had happened. He wrenched himself to his feet and looked at the spot where the mantis had been. The realization made the genin feel sick. Turning away from his teacher, he actively set about parting with his breakfast — the sight before him had sent it rushing out of its own accord.
"You broke my ceiling, you piece of trash," Saitama said, pointing at the lower half of the monster still twitching in convulsions. "And you didn't even pay. Thought you'd vanish to another world without settling up?"
The earlier shock had left no trace. Through the mask of indifference came unmistakable notes of indignation. Saitama remembered it as clear as day — the green insect resembling a grasshopper that had once smashed through the ceiling of his apartment in City Z.
Picking his headband off the ground, Naruto turned to his teacher and asked:
"What do you mean, sensei? What ceiling?"
"Hm…" the young man frowned.
He carefully examined what remained of the insectoid, then rubbed his chin, then squinted into the middle distance, as though trying to fish an important memory out of his bald head.
"Oops, my mistake," Saitama muttered. "Sorry about that, Grasshopper. I confused you with someone else," he said to the twitching mantis limb. A couple of moments later the limb went still — presumably accepting Saitama's apology.
Looking over his student, the bald hero shook his head in disapproval.
"You failed the first round of the test. I'm disappointed."
It was as if all the air went out of Naruto. He was about to start making excuses — the monster had been too powerful: solid armor, incredible speed, long blades on its limbs. But remembering that the teacher had taken the creature down in one punch, he decided to stay quiet.
"Tell me why I'm disappointed, Naruto," Saitama asked.
"Well…" Uzumaki began. "Because I'm too weak?"
The hero had initially intended to say "yes." But seeing the blond was completely deflated, he frantically searched for an answer that might at least slightly reassure or encourage the boy.
He cleared his throat and began instructing his student.
"What does that have to do with it? What are you talking about?" Caped Baldy said with exaggerated surprise.
The mud-splattered boy, meanwhile, stared at his sensei in bewilderment.
"I'm disappointed because you're not using your head at all," the bald hero began. "Yes, you're weak. But only for now. It's foolish to expect that you'll take everyone down in one punch on your first hunt. A survival test means not only killing monsters, but retreating quickly when a monster proves too dangerous. And if you can't retreat, you use everything at your disposal to win: tricks, traps — when faced with mortal danger, even the most ruthless and underhanded methods may prove useful. Remember when I told you about Crabinator?"
"Um…" Naruto thought. "The one that wanted to kill the kid with the dimple on his chin?"
"Right," Saitama nodded. "Back then I wasn't thinking about heroics or training at all. So I had no real strength to speak of. That monster was over two meters tall, with impenetrable armor and claws that could crush concrete. It beat me up pretty badly — but the moment it let its guard down, it became easy prey."
"But, Master!" Naruto exclaimed. "How did you defeat it back then?"
"I tore out its eye. Straight out, meat and all. That turned out to be the weakest point," Saitama replied calmly.
"That's…" Naruto involuntarily grimaced, picturing the scene. "And what happened to it?"
"Died almost immediately… but we're getting off topic. Tell me, Naruto — what did you do wrong today? What mistakes did you make?"
The genin began scratching the back of his head vigorously, as though trying to massage his brain into better analysis of the situation.
After a minute of reflection, Uzumaki concluded that fear of the unknown creature had made him forget about most of his own capabilities. Beyond that, he had failed to understand the core objective the teacher had given him. He had been supposed to find food and carry out a hunt. Strong beasts were to be avoided. But instead, at the sight of the terrifying monster, Naruto had decided to test his strength. And had nearly paid with his life.
What would it have cost him to distract the big "grasshopper" with clones and make a quick retreat to find prey within his abilities? But no — instead he had summoned a mass of clones and proceeded to attack the insectoid, pelting it with metal objects without much aiming. Then tried to attack directly. Unsuccessfully.
He was an idiot. And he had followed that same scenario twice. Once when he first encountered the mantis near a cave. And again when he picked a fight right in front of his teacher. Moreover, the genin hadn't even once tried to throw kunai at the monster's eyes.
He told his teacher all of this.
Phew — thank heavens for french fries, he figured it all out himself and I didn't have to make up another load of nonsense, Saitama thought after Uzumaki's words.
Outwardly, Caped Baldy only gave a wise nod and praised the boy for his sharpness.
"Well done, Naruto! I think we can wrap up the training for now," the hero declared, looking the blond over from head to toe. "And wash up a bit. There should be a stream nearby, so let's go and I'll take you there. After that I'll get us some food. You failed the first lesson — hopefully this experience proves useful."
"Thank you, Master," Naruto said quietly.
"It's nothing," Saitama said. "But don't relax too much. Clean yourself up and stay alert. Danger is all around. And one more thing…" the hero paused briefly, then smiled. "You're going to cook."
And together, without hurrying, they headed east.
Neither Naruto nor Saitama knew, however, that they had gone too deep — ending up in the Red Zone. On that forbidden section of the Forest of Death, even Special Jonin could find themselves in very serious trouble.