The hunt had gone splendidly. While Uzumaki was bathing, the bald hero had dragged in several large rabbits first. Well, "large" was relative — about a meter at the shoulder. Then, deciding not to bother with small game, he caught a massive mantis that turned out to be roughly twice the size of the one Naruto had run into.
This time Saitama had held back his striking force to preserve most of the monsters' bodies intact. So now, beside a thick tree, lay the neatly decapitated carcasses of four creatures that had once had long ears and powerful fangs — they now resembled rabbits only very distantly. Near another tree lay the corpse of the brown insectoid.
"Are you sure we can eat that?" Naruto asked, casting a wary eye at the monstrous-looking insect.
The genin was currently sporting nothing but shorts, displaying a small but quite defined musculature. His orange jumpsuit was drying on nearby branches.
"Naruto, remember one truth. There are no inedible animals — only unskilled cooks! I used to regularly eat monster meat from the ones I killed in City Z. And nothing — didn't turn my nose up at it."
The blond scrunched up his face at first, but quickly found himself thinking about the meat in ramen. He liked beef best, though he could make do with chicken. But what if he tried meat from other creatures? The Forest of Death was practically an endless supply of meat — and such a diverse variety at that.
Naruto's stomach gave a deep rumble, and his mouth began to fill with saliva. A dopey grin crept onto Uzumaki's face on its own.
"Better help gather firewood. I'll dress the carcasses myself," Saitama said, pulling off his old patched-up Hawaiian shirt so he wouldn't have to wash it later, leaving himself in just his shorts.
"Yes, Master Saitama!" the genin nodded and ran off to carry out his teacher's request.
After some time, everything was ready. The meat was dressed, the hides discarded as useless, the firewood gathered, and straight forked branches had been driven into the ground on either side of the future fire. The mantis's blade-limb was planned to be threaded through several chunks of rabbit meat and suspended across them.
There was one small snag, however.
"Yeah, somehow I didn't think of that…" Saitama drawled, looking at the pile of dressed monster meat nearby. Then he shifted his gaze to the makeshift spit, and then to the firewood.
"Damn it!" the hero grabbed his head. "By any chance, do you know any fire techniques?"
"Sorry, Master…" Naruto shook his head. "The chakra paper Anko-senpai brought showed my nature is wind. I'd like fire myself."
Caped Baldy smacked his forehead:
"Blast! Who goes on a picnic and forgets matches? How are we supposed to roast the meat now?"
Saitama scolded himself for his forgetfulness. Though, truth be told, besides matches he hadn't brought anything at all today: no salt, no spices, no dishes. There hadn't even been a knife for dressing the carcasses — they'd had to make do with the kunai Naruto still had on him. As for the mantis's armor, Saitama had been forced to tear it off with his bare hands. Not that it caused him any particular inconvenience.
"Well, I was recently reading a forest survival guide," Naruto said, furrowing his brow. "There were a few methods described for making fire when you can't use Fire Release techniques."
"Oh… see how useful reading can be sometimes, Naruto?" Saitama gave a satisfied nod. "And which method do we need? I hope it's not rubbing sticks together."
"No," the genin shook his head. "You use a kunai and a stone to try to strike sparks…"
"Ah, I see. Well, give it a go then. Just be quick about it — I'm starving…"
As if to underscore the hero's words, both their stomachs gave loud simultaneous rumbles.
In the Hokage Tower.
Hiruzen sat in his office, sprawled in the armchair by his desk. He had finally managed to carve out a little free time for himself. The burden of leading the village was heavy, and sometimes one needed to know how to take a break from pressing concerns.
Having dismissed the ANBU from the office beforehand and telling them not to disturb him, he pulled a transparent orb from the top drawer of the desk. An anticipatory smile touched the man's lips. Just in case, the Third looked around the room — and found no one, quite logically.
Holding the orb in one hand, he formed a seal with the other and barely whispered:
"Toumegane no Jutsu…"
The transparent sphere first filled with a kind of mist, after which the outlines of a women's bathhouse began to take shape inside it.
"Hm-hm…" the Hokage's nostrils flared slightly, his cheeks going faintly pink. "Come on, girls — brighten up old grandfather's day."
Bringing the image closer, Sarutobi was treated to the sight of slender, toned kunoichi who had just begun to undress. The girls were chatting pleasantly about something as they unhurriedly removed their outer clothing. A few moments later they were down to their undergarments.
Hiruzen zoomed in slightly on one of the beauties, surveying the appealing curves barely restrained by a tight brassiere. The Third's eyes glazed over and his breath caught. The God of Shinobi bit his lip, anticipating the moment of beholding something truly magnificent.
Now the girl was unhooking the clasp of her brassiere from behind, and one strap was slipping down…
KNOCK-KNOCK-KNOCK.KNOCK-KNOCK-KNOCK…
Hiruzen startled in his chair, and the transparent sphere slipped from his hand. Waving his arms frantically, the Hokage managed to catch the orb before it hit the floor. But the telescope technique was already broken.
"May the Sage of Six Paths take you all…" Hiruzen muttered tightly, placing the sphere back in the drawer.
Removing the one-way soundproof and isolation barriers, he shouted:
"What in the name of all Bijuu is all that banging?! Save it for the training posts!.."
But the door swung open sharply, and two ANBU operatives flew into the room.
"Forgive us, Hokage-sama!" one of the shinobi began quickly, not even stopping to bow. "Training Ground 44, Red Zone, code zero one!"
The Hokage stared blankly at the one reporting, processing what he had heard.
"Come again?" he asked, on autopilot.
"The perimeter of the Red Zone in the Forest of Death," the second ninja clarified. "The signal circuit has been breached and the restraining barrier has been pierced."
Hiruzen swore elaborately.
And there was good reason to swear.
The Forest of Death was the name of the training ground where the second stage of the chunin exams was normally held. Located on the outskirts of the village and surrounded by relatively modest cliffs. Naturally, such a dramatic name was largely a piece of theatrical flair, serving as a kind of frightening tale for the upcoming generation of ninja. In reality, across Konoha's entire history, only a handful of fatal incidents had occurred in the Forest. And even those were due to the stupidity of genin who had gotten too big for their boots — who imagined themselves to be the most skilled, powerful, and clever of all.
However, on the eastern edge of the training ground, there was a special territory — a forbidden one. Or more precisely, a sealed one. Roughly ten kilometers in radius. It was separated from the rest of the Forest by illusory, restraining, and restrictive barriers. And this territory was called the Red Zone.
Through a complex Fūin formation, the area had been sealed by masters of the Uzumaki clan back in Hashirama's time. Entry was possible only with a special Fūin key, which to this day remained in the Hokage's keeping. There was one other option, however: to break through the barrier by force. But that would have required the simultaneous use of several S-rank techniques at a single point. And even that would only open a breach in the barrier for mere moments. After a period of time — depending on the extent of the damage — the breach would seal itself again, fed by the Fūin formation, which in turn absorbed natural chakra from the surrounding environment.
This zone was visited very rarely. And only in the Hokage's presence. The reasons for visiting were, in the majority of cases, gathering rare ingredients for poisons or medicines. The guests were primarily ANBU elite or Root operatives. Some heads of major clans knew of the existence of this mystical zone, but made no attempt to enter it — for without the key and the village leader's authorization, it was considered extremely difficult to access.
Just what I needed. Who on earth would want to go in there? And without my knowledge? Danzo?… thoughts flashed through the Third's mind.
This area concealed many secrets.
Apparently, even before the time of Hashirama Senju, that location had exhibited an elevated level of natural chakra, which had positively influenced the development of the local flora and fauna. Hence the presence of enormous dangerous beasts and carnivorous plants. Additionally, when the First Hokage and his wife had researched this anomaly, they had discovered beneath the ground a network of caves filled with unknown powerful monsters — and had sensed the proximity of a colossal source. A source of what — they never determined, because Mito Uzumaki had dissuaded her husband from going any deeper and demanded they seal this strange anomaly at once.
Hashirama Senju had resisted for a long time. Curiosity, combined with a thirst for new knowledge, devoured him. And his desire to find adventure for his legendary rear end was also very much present. But Mito was categorical: "Either they seal the area, or they'll need to find a different location for the village…" Following a lengthy dispute, Hashirama ultimately listened to his wife. After some time the territory was cleared of dangerous creatures and the area itself was sealed. Over the following several years, the "Forest of Death" was cultivated around the Red Zone.
"Hokage-sama, what are your orders?" one of the shinobi asked.
Hiruzen chewed his lip thoughtfully.
He needed to go and personally inspect who had managed to breach the perimeter. The Hokage had no idea what the intruder's objectives could be. But whoever it was — they were extraordinarily dangerous. For an ordinary shinobi, not only breaking through but simply detecting the barrier would have been difficult, given that the concealment there was exceptional. Modern Fūinjutsu masters couldn't even conceive of Fūin techniques and seals like these. The Uzumaki in the founders' era had done extraordinary work.
The Third pulled his pipe from inside his robe and a couple of moments later was puffing away in his office.
"Assemble three dozen operatives," he exhaled a sphere of smoke. "We move ou—"
Sarutobi didn't finish, because into his office burst a red-haired shinobi in a rabbit mask, who went by the call sign Usagi.
"The bald one and the Jinchuriki…" he said instead of a greeting. "Hokage-sama, they've disappeared!"
Hiruzen choked on his smoke and coughed.
"Khe-khe… what do you mean, disappeared? When?"
"Fifteen minutes ago. As for how — I don't know…" the red-haired shinobi spread his hands hurriedly. "They seemed to arrive at training, were talking about something, and then just vanished…"
With each word from the operative, the Hokage grew paler and paler.
Damn it all! Could Danzo have been right, and Saitama is a spy after all? But how?…
"Advisor Shimura has already been informed," Usagi added briefly.
For half a minute the office fell into silence, and the Hokage even stopped smoking.
His face seemed to have darkened, etched with far more wrinkles than usual.
Remembering his pipe, he decided to calm himself. Slowly drawing in smoke, he held his breath, then just as slowly exhaled it, shaping the outflowing smoke into the kanji for "fire."
Hiruzen opened the desk drawer again and produced the orb, intending to use the observation technique to find Naruto. Locking onto the Kurama Jinchuriki's chakra, he murmured:
"Toumegane no Jutsu!"
The sphere filled with mist — but a couple of moments later, it returned to its usual degree of transparency. The jutsu had been blocked.
"Oh, damn it all!" the Third shouted from the heart, leaping to his feet.
He tossed the sphere into the armchair and began pacing the office. But a couple of moments later Hiruzen composed himself and added:
"Send word to Danzo. Have his people comb all the surrounding areas near Konoha. Our units are to assist them. I will go to the Forest of Death myself after the intruder. Move out!"
"Sir!" the elite ANBU shinobi responded, and vanished in a Body Flicker.
Scrape…Scrape…Scrape…
Saitama's bald head was covered in bulging veins. His eyebrows twitched. His eyes were bloodshot, and his teeth were involuntarily grinding against each other, producing an unpleasant noise. It seemed that any moment now, killing intent would start rolling off him in waves.
"Oh, damn it all!" Saitama bellowed. "I want to eat. Stupid firewood. Are you going to light or not?!"
The bald hero and the genin had been trying together for over ten minutes to produce fire, striking sparks with a kunai and a stone. Unsuccessfully. The firewood had no intention of catching.
At first Saitama had been encouraging the blond while watching his futile attempts. Then he had smirked. Then he'd gotten fed up and produced his own fire-starting equipment.
Scrape…Scrape…
"Naruto! You absolutely must learn fire techniques. Wind is useless in situations like this."
"Um… right now? I probably can't manage that, Master…" Uzumaki shook his head with disappointment.
"No," Saitama cut him off. "I mean in general. Ask Anko — she seemed to know something along those lines."
Uzumaki just nodded at that, continuing to strike sparks over the firewood.
Caped Baldy set down his implements for a couple of seconds and tried to calm himself.
"In general, I think going forward we'll be having these kinds of picnics pretty often. Think about it," Saitama began counting on his fingers. "First — for you, this is excellent training in building up combat experience and developing survival instincts. Second — it saves money. Great, right? No need to buy groceries. You hunt yourself, you eat what you catch yourself. The ideal setup."
The hero grinned, rubbing his hands together, and a thought visited his bald head:
Heh-heh. At this rate I can gradually save up the allowance from the old man, and maybe in a year or two I can buy myself a TV. The biggest downside of this world really is that there are no Saturday sales. Only pre-holiday ones…
"Master," Naruto interrupted his thoughts, "maybe we should strike the sparks onto paper? You've got a book…"
"Naruto, that's sacrilege! Are you suggesting I tear pages out of this bestseller?" Saitama protested, pulling out the slender little book.
In response, Naruto's stomach gave another rumble. Then Saitama's followed with a similar refrain.
"Damn! Fine…"
The bald young man opened the book to the first pages.
On the one hand, he vaguely recalled being told in school long ago that tearing pages out of books was wrong. On the other hand, hunger was no friend. Besides, he intended to tear out a page he'd already read. So it was perfectly fine.
"May the author forgive me…"
Just as Saitama was about to pull out a page, a senbon whistled into his hand. The hero caught the throwing needle directly over the book.
A moment later a silhouette of a man dressed in a dark combat suit loomed over the two of them. And a powerful wave of killing intent flooded the surrounding area.
The Hokage, dressed in his battle attire, approached the approximate location of the sealed section of Training Ground 44.
Only forest all around. Enormous branching trees almost completely blocked out the sun, plunging the surroundings into a half-dark. If Hiruzen had not had the key, even he could have wandered a long time searching for the entrance to the Red Zone.
Judging by everything, the barrier has already repaired itself… Sarutobi thought, trying in vain to see anything through the haze of the barrier illusions.
He pulled a round medallion from inside his robe, engraved with the symbol of a whirlpool. Feeding a small amount of chakra into it, the old shinobi saw the engraving glow faintly. A moment later he also noticed a similar glow nearby — right at the roots of one of the massive trees.
Approaching the wide trunk, Hiruzen crouched down, then, removing the medallion from around his neck, pressed it to a whirlpool pattern that had appeared on the surface. A phantom glow of Fūin script spread across the tree.
To the man's right, a small mouth of a passage began to appear between the trees, its edges faintly rippling and tinged with a lilac mist.
The Hokage smiled slightly and fed more chakra into it, causing the opening to grow in size. When the passage had reached three meters in width, he ceased the chakra flow and, hanging the Fūin key back around his neck, tucked it back inside his robe. Rising sharply, he glanced around, then walked with a firm stride into the Red Zone. A few moments later the contours of the entrance began to flicker, after which the opening slowly shrank until it was gone entirely.
Hiruzen became alert. On forbidden ground, in dangerous proximity to the unknown entity that had dared to breach the Zone, he began circulating chakra through his body and sank into a kind of combat trance. Two kilometers to the east, Sarutobi detected a single chakra signature. It seemed vaguely familiar to him.
The shinobi decided not to linger, and leaping onto the nearest branch, followed the upper paths toward his target. He chose to forgo any precautions and not send an earth clone ahead. The old man was called the God of Shinobi for good reason, after all. Even now he could be confidently considered one of the strongest Kage-level fighters around. Despite his age and relatively harmless appearance, Hiruzen was still capable of unpleasantly surprising his opponents. So even if an ambush awaited him ahead, he was more than capable of taking care of himself.
Beyond that, the intruder had trapped himself, since even if the enemy decided to retreat, they would only run into the barrier — which would require strength and time to breach.
Clear your mind. I'm here… Hiruzen hurried to put himself in a combat mindset.
He had barely prepared a concentration seal in case of a sudden attack or trap, when it was as if all the air was let out of him. Sarutobi stared in shock at the scene that opened up a hundred meters ahead. His eyebrows slowly climbed upward.
"Holy Sage of Six Paths…" he muttered. Then he rubbed his eyes. Then whispered "Kai," forming the corresponding hand seal. In vain. The illusion he had apparently fallen into was not dispelling.
Hiruzen silently cursed, and a senbon materialized in his hand, which he promptly pressed into his palm.
But even this method of dispelling Genjutsu proved useless. Realizing that what he was seeing was not an illusion but quite real, he stood frozen in bewilderment.
Through the branches Sarutobi observed an idyllic scene. An almost entirely undressed blond boy sat near a would-be campfire, trying to strike sparks onto firewood using a kunai and a stone. Not far from him, a bare-chested bald young man sat apparently doing the same thing with a flint.
On the surface, at first glance, there was nothing particularly unusual about this scene. Two guys had decided to come to the forest for a picnic. So they had gotten undressed — it happened to everyone. Maybe it was hot. And sure, there was a pile of several hundred kilograms of meat lying nearby — no hunting permit was required in the Land of Fire.
But the inconvenient part was this: not only had they come for a picnic in the Forest of Death — in the sealed zone no less — but these two individuals were currently being searched for throughout the entire vicinity of Konoha and up until this moment had been considered to have vanished without a trace.
Saitama, Naruto! Sarutobi ground his teeth. On one hand, he was glad there had been no actual disappearance of the Jinchuriki. But on the other — these two had walked into the Red Zone, where monsters of an extreme danger level could sometimes be encountered. Fighters of A-rank were only supposed to enter here in groups. Only elite S-rank jonin could feel more or less comfortable in the Zone — and even they were not supposed to let their guard down.
And how did they even get in here? Though… the Hokage stroked his goatee. Saitama could. That much is true…
Having fully calmed down, he decided to approach them and find out what in blazes they were doing here.
Slowing the flow of chakra in his body, he applied a listening technique and began drawing closer to Saitama and Naruto without being noticed.
"Naruto, that's sacrilege! Are you suggesting I tear pages out of this bestseller?"
Coming close enough, Hiruzen saw a book in the bald young man's hands. On the cover, the title shone proudly: "Come Come Paradise." Sarutobi gave a quiet chuckle. He was proud of his student not only because of the man's legendary status as a Sannin, but also because of his successes in the literary field. Jiraiya's works were considered something close to the gold standard of erotic novels.
"May the author forgive me…"
What? The Hokage stared in surprise at Saitama, who appeared to be preparing to tear pages out of this masterwork.
What in all the Bijuu's names do you think you're doing, you idiot?!
However, the Hokage immediately set aside his unnecessary thoughts, deciding to save the printed copy from an act of vandalism. He acted quickly, without hesitating. One instant — and the senbon he released was now clasped in Saitama's hand, while the Hokage already loomed above the seated offenders, releasing all of his displeasure outward in the form of killing intent.
"That's…" Saitama turned the needle over in his hand absently, then looked up at the man.
Naruto visibly tensed. Sweat trickled down his forehead, his gaze glazed over. His hands, clutching the kunai and stone, trembled slightly. The killing intent was bearing down on the boy oppressively. Ordinary genin would have collapsed unconscious long ago, but Uzumaki held on. He was fortunate to be sitting — otherwise his knees would certainly have buckled from the wave of killing intent.
"What the hell do you two think you're doing?" the old shinobi growled. "Are you even aware that the entire village is searching for you?"
"Huh?" Caped Baldy scratched the top of his head. "Hey gramps, who are you? Did you get lost?"
The killing intent pressure intensified. On Saitama it had no visible effect whatsoever. But Naruto could barely breathe. Nevertheless, looking at his teacher, who seemed not to notice the killing intent at all, he decided to overcome his fear and instincts. The blond raised his eyes to the man.
The stranger was dressed in a black combat suit, beneath which a light mesh armor was visible. His right forearm and hand were covered by a dark green gauntlet. A face looked out from beneath a plate helmet bearing Konoha's headband symbol with unusually long ties.
"O-old man?" a flash of recognition crossed Naruto's gaze.
A couple of heartbeats later the killing intent pressure was gone.
"What old man?" Saitama didn't follow.
"Saitama, Naruto — what are you doing here? And where is Anko?…"
The question went unanswered. The village leader studied the offenders with a heavy gaze. Seeing the stupor that had overtaken the two of them, Sarutobi produced his pipe and lit it.
"It's me, it's me. Hiruzen…" the Hokage said, releasing smoke. "Stop staring at me!" he addressed Saitama, dispelling any remaining doubt.
"Oh… Gramps? Didn't recognize you. Must mean you're about to come into money," the bald hero remarked. "Oh, and while you're here — can you help with a light?"
A flame flickered off the Third's finger, and the campfire was immediately lit.
"Finally," Naruto said with exhausted relief, setting down the kunai. "Grandpa, you're our savior."
Uzumaki melted into a happy puddle on the ground. His face was lit with a bright smile.
"Now we're talking!" Saitama said. "Sit with us, Gramps. I nearly turned white trying to get that blasted fire going."
At that phrase, both Sarutobi and Naruto simultaneously glanced at his bald head. Hiruzen smirked, and the boy dissolved into rolling laughter on the ground. The bald young man, busy mounting the meat-laden spit over the flames, began looking around at his companions, trying to understand the cause of the amusement.
"What? Did I say something wrong?"
"Nothing, Saitama," the Hokage replied. Naruto, meanwhile, was twitching on the ground trying to suppress fits of laughter. "Better explain to this old man — what in the name of all Bijuu possessed you to drag Naruto into the Forest of Death? And without an escort, no less? Do you have any idea how dangerous this place is?!"
The hero began frantically working through an answer. But when a juicy roasting rabbit was in front of you and your salivation was at an all-time high, coherent thought was extraordinarily difficult. So he found his out almost immediately.
"Gramps, I think poorly on an empty stomach and I'm not talking. Let's eat first, then we can discuss everything. Come sit down — there's no use standing…"
Hiruzen chewed his lip with displeasure, but nonetheless lowered himself down beside them with a groan, muttering under his breath:
"As if the place we're sitting has any either…"
And in that very moment, while the trio was preparing to lunch on roasted rabbit, the Copy Ninja, a genius and former ANBU operative — Hatake Kakashi — was finally being discharged from the hospital, preparing to begin his journey as the instructor of a team of genin.