jayjay (pov)
The days went fast.
Too fast.
One day—
we were joking about exams.
Next—
we were in the middle of them.
And then—
it was the final exam.
I stood outside the classroom.
Paper in hand.
Heart—
not exactly racing.
But not calm either.
Around me—
everyone looked the same.
Cin pacing like he forgot everything.
Felix pretending to be relaxed.
Josh actually relaxed.
Edrix—
talking about something completely unrelated.
"…I'm telling you, if I hacked the system—"
"You didn't," Rory cut him.
"I could have."
"You didn't."
"I like legal chaos."
"That makes no sense."
"It does to me."
I didn't join.
Didn't react.
Because my mind—
was somewhere else.
Not here.
Not in this corridor.
Not in this moment.
It went back.
To that day.
(Flashback)
We were sitting on the couch.
Books open.
But not really studying.
Just there.
Quiet.
For once.
"What are you taking?" I asked suddenly.
Keifer didn't look up immediately.
"BSBA."
Simple.
Clear.
Like he already decided long ago.
I nodded slowly.
"…makes sense."
"It does."
A pause.
Then he looked at me.
"What about you?"
I didn't answer immediately.
Because I didn't know.
Not then.
Not properly.
"I'll figure it out," I said.
He watched me for a second.
Then nodded.
"Don't choose something you can't handle."
I frowned slightly.
"I can handle things."
"I know."
His tone didn't change.
"But don't force it."
I didn't reply.
Just looked away.
Because something about that—
stayed.
(Back to Present)
The bell rang.
Sharp.
Pulling me back.
"Let's go," Cin said.
We walked in.
Same classroom.
Same seats.
Same pressure.
I sat down.
Placed my pen.
Looked at the paper when it came.
Read the first question.
I knew it.
Of course I did.
I studied everything.
Twice.
Three times.
More.
But still—
my grip tightened slightly.
Because this wasn't just about knowing.
It was about—
keeping up.
Keeping pace.
Not falling behind.
Not being—
less.
I started writing.
Fast.
Precise.
No hesitation.
No pause.
Page after page.
Time moved.
Students slowed.
Some stopped.
Some gave up.
I didn't.
Even when my hand hurt—
I didn't stop.
Even when my head felt heavy—
I didn't slow down.
Because every answer—
felt like proof.
Proof that I could do it.
Proof that I wasn't behind.
Proof that—
I could stand beside him.
Not behind him.
The bell rang again.
End.
Pens dropped.
Chairs moved.
Voices returned.
"FINALLY—"
"I'm done—"
"I'm sleeping for a week—"
Everyone stood up.
Relieved.
Free.
But me—
I just sat there.
For a second longer.
Looking at the paper.
Not because I had doubts.
But because—
it still didn't feel enough.
"Jay."
I looked up.
Keifer.
Standing there.
Watching me.
"You're done."
I nodded.
"…yeah."
"You overdid it."
Not a question.
A statement.
"I didn't."
"You did."
Silence.
I stood up.
Avoided his eyes.
Submitted my paper.
Walked out.
But I knew—
he wasn't convinced.
And the truth?
Neither was I.
Because even after all this—
something inside me said—
it's still not enough.
The first paper was done.
But it didn't feel like anything ended.
If anything—
it felt like it just started.
Everyone walked out like they survived something.
Cin shouting—
"I'm free for five minutes!"
Felix laughing.
Josh already relaxed.
Edrix talking nonsense again—
"…if I hacked the system—"
"You didn't," Rory said.
"I could have."
"No."
Normal.
Everyone was normal.
Except me.
Because my head was already on the next paper.
Next subject.
Next test.
I didn't wait.
Didn't stand around.
Didn't talk.
I walked straight to the car.
Got in.
Pulled my book out.
Opened it.
Started reading.
Again.
Same chapter.
Same lines.
Even though I already knew it.
The door opened.
Keifer.
He got in.
Started the engine.
Didn't say anything at first.
Just drove.
Quiet.
Then—
"You're studying?"
I didn't look up.
"Yes."
"The exam just ended."
"I know."
A pause.
"And?"
"And the next one is coming."
Silence.
I turned the page.
Focused.
"You're not even taking a break."
"I don't need one."
"You do."
"No."
He didn't reply immediately.
Just drove.
But I could feel it.
That look.
That quiet observation.
Always there.
I kept reading.
Faster.
Like if I stopped—
I would fall behind.
"Jay."
I sighed.
"What?"
"You're overdoing it."
"I'm not."
"You are."
"I'm not."
"Then look at me and say that."
I didn't.
Didn't want to.
Because if I did—
I might hesitate.
And I didn't have time for that.
"I just need to stay ahead," I said instead.
"You're not behind."
I finally looked at him.
"…you are."
A pause.
He frowned slightly.
"Explain."
"You already know what you're doing," I said quietly.
"You've decided everything."
He didn't speak.
So I continued.
"You said you're taking BSBA."
Simple.
Clear.
Certain.
"I don't want to be the one who's still figuring things out."
Silence.
The car slowed slightly.
"I want to keep up with you."
There.
I said it.
Out loud.
Clear.
Honest.
And for the first time—
I closed the book.
Because now—
it wasn't about studying anymore.