The school talked of nothing but Sirius Black for the next few days. The theories about how he had entered the castle became wilder and wilder. Hannah Abbott, from Hufflepuff, spent much of their next Herbology class telling anyone who'd listen that Black could turn into a flowering shrub.
Susan spent just as much time trying to make a list of possible nearby places Black would be hiding, the main one they agreed on was Hogsmeade.
"It's nearby, it's unwarded, it's the perfect hiding spot," she said during lunch one afternoon.
"We are not spending our first Hogsmeade trip searching for Sirius Black," Draco said. "We are going to go to Honeydukes, visit Zonko's, and get butterbeers in the Three Broomsticks- got it?"
"Are we?" Harry gave him a pointed look and Draco pouted.
"I don't want to hunt for my crazy cousin," he said in a voice just a couple shades away from being a whine.
"Harry isn't going to go looking for Sirius Black he's going to let the Professor's handle it, right?" Hermione said, setting everyone else off in to a fit of laughter.
"Yeah that sounds like Harry," Ron snorted.
"Can we save it for our second Hogsmeade visit?" Draco asked hopefully.
"Not a chance," Harry said. "We're going to look tomorrow."
Ultimately, the decision was taken right out of his hands.
After telling Luna goodbye and promising to bring her back a surprise ("d'you want a Chocolate Frog or Black's finger?") the eight third years headed towards Hogsmeade.
Harry was getting the uncomfortable feeling of being watched all the way past the gates and while they were on the path. They were about to enter the village when he realized what the problem was.
"Son of a bitch," he swore loudly in Parsletongue.
"What's wrong?" Neville asked.
Harry glared around him.
"If Snape set you up to this I'll kill you both," he called loudly.
His friends were all looking nervously at him but Harry was focused on the tree line where he could feel someone's eyes on him.
End their spell, he thought with a sharp tug on his magic.
He watched with satisfaction as a tall, lanky, pink haired witch appeared from seemingly no where.
"Wotcher, Harry," she grinned a lopsided smile, seemingly unembarrassed at being caught. "Kingsley wasn't exaggerating, was he?"
Harry already had his newly obtained knife out and had taken a few steps in front of his friends.
"Who are you?" Harry asked harshly.
"Who are you?" the witch mimicked him as she shifted her appearance. Harry blinked and was suddenly staring at a carbon copy of himself.
"Brill," he breathed. He looked into his own green eyes and grinned sharply. "You're Nymphadora?"
"Tonks, if you don't mind," she said.
"Oh! We're cousins!" Draco said from behind Harry. He made to step up to the witch and Harry shifted slightly, keeping him behind him.
"You didn't explain why you're here," Harry said to her.
In the back of his mind he wished he had grabbed his pocket knife instead of this dagger, it was too long to twirl between his fingers.
"Ministers orders," she grinned, Harry's face taking on an entirely odd look.
"Change back," he said. "And explain."
The witch shifted back to her tall, thin, and pink haired previous appearance. She blinked and her eyes went from Harry's green to a light grey.
"You do live with Snape, don't you?" she laughed. "I'm your official tail," she winked and suddenly she had a ridiculous horse tail swishing behind her for a moment.
Harry had to literally bite his lip to keep from laughing.
She's a cop and she's following you, he reminded himself.
"No thanks," Harry said coolly. "I don't need some cop following me around."
Tonks glanced at Harry's friends behind him before she shrunk herself down to their height and lengthened her hair to a long golden blonde color.
"How about another student then? You wouldn't want me to get in trouble at work, would you?" She looked at Harry with what Susan called 'puppy dog eyes'.
"I don't particularly care about your job," Harry said with a sneer. "Go away."
Harry backed away a couple steps closer to his friends while keeping a careful eye on Tonks' currently empty hands.
"Sorry Harry," she smiled. "But you'll have to take it up with the Minister." She clapped her hands together and bounced on the balls of her feet. "Where are we going first?"
"Honeydukes," Ron said from behind Harry. "Then Zonkos."
"Theo and I were going to go check out the Owl Post Service," Hermione said hesitantly. "We thought maybe you guys would want to meet up in a couple of hours at the Three Broomsticks?"
Harry turned just enough that he could see Hermione and Tonks both.
"I thought we were all hanging out together?" he said.
Hermione blushed as Theo took her hand.
"We just wanted a couple hours alone," Theo said with a pointed look at their joined hands. "You know, in private."
"Oh, er okay, but it's rather cold out for sex, isn't it?"
Harry had seen a lot of street kids and prostitutes shagging in alleys before, but he didn't think Hermione would like that much.
"We- no- Merlin," Theo sputtered added the rest of their friends laughed and Hermione's face lit up bright red. Tonks nearly fell on the ground she was laughing so hard.
"We are not doing that," Hermione hissed. "Jesus Harry. We just wanted to spend time together as a couple. Like a date."
"Oh," Harry blushed a bit himself now. "Well... I guess we'll see you in a couple hours, be careful, yeah?"
"You be careful," Theo said before hustling Hermione down the pathway.
"Great, where to?" Tonks said brightly, shifting her appearance to mimic Hermione.
"We're wasting time," Susan whispered, stepping up to take Harry's hand. "She can come without knowing what we're doing."
Harry tilted his head slightly in concession to Susan's point.
"New plan," he said, watching Tonks out the corner of his eye. "You guys-" he pointed at the other boys standing around them, "-go do whatever. Susan, Tonks, and I are going to explore. Meet up in two hours at the Three Broomsticks, yeah?"
"Sounds good," Blaise said easily. "C'mon Longbottom, let's go introduce Weasley to real joke products."
Draco stood with an uncertain look as the other three boys took off towards the town. He squared his shoulders and turned back to Harry, a determined glint in his eyes.
"I'll go with you guys," he said.
"Good man Draco," Susan said. She shifted so she could link her arms with Harry and Draco both.
"Where to?" Tonks asked again, rudely linking her arm with Draco and changing back to her blonde haired previous appearance.
"Shrieking Shack," Harry said immediately.
"Ooh, so you are searching for Black," Tonks said brightly, stumbling slightly at the quick pace Harry and his friends were setting. "Kingsley said he thought you were but I thought 'no way a little kid would go looking for a man who wants to kill him'."
"Harry is not a little kid, Nymphadora," Susan said, glaring at the other witch. "And I believe he said we're going to look at a historical landmark, not that we're going to look for an escaped prisoner."
"Thats your job anyway, ain't it?" Harry added.
"Testy," Tonks said with a wink at Draco. Draco loyally huffed and turned his head away from her.
Tonks was unflappable during the walk to the Shack. She kept up a steady stream of chatter about her own school days and Auror training, which she just finished.
"You'd be a great Auror, observation skills like yours," she said to Harry. "How'd you even know where I was?"
"Magic," Harry said drily. Tonks just laughed again.
Harry eyed the Shrieking Shack carefully as they approached the fencing around it. If Tonks hadn't been with them his plan was to get his cloak and sneak in.
"Think we can get in?" Susan murmured quietly.
Apparently not quietly enough.
"Oh I wouldn't," Tonks said with a big smile. "I'd have to stop you if you broke in to a forbidden area. Plus, it's haunted anyway."
"You could try and stop us," Susan said with her own polite smile.
"And it's not fuckin' haunted," Harry snorted. "A giant wolf used to transform there every month, didn't they?"
"A wolf?" Tonks said, her eyes getting round with excitement. "Really?"
"Merlin Tonks, aren't you a witch?" Draco muttered.
"Careful little cousin, I'd hate to have to prove that I'm a witch to you," she winked.
"Let's just look around, yeah?" Harry suggested.
They were halfway around the side of the Shack when the large black dog Harry had taken to leaving steaks out for came slinking slowly out from underneath the house.
"Hey, there's your dog!" Draco said, his eyes lighting up at the sight. "Come here boy!"
"His name is Grim," Harry said. "Not 'Boy'."
"You named a huge black dog 'Grim'?" Tonks asked as the dog came running up to Harry. "You're a bit mad, aren't you Harry?"
"He is not," Susan said harshly. "Shut your mouth."
Harry grinned at Susan before turning to Tonks.
"My dog, my name," he said as he scratched the dogs ears. "Feel free to fight me over it."
Tonks laughed again as she reached towards the dog, who very loyally growled at her.
"Good boy," he murmured. "You can bite her if you want."
The dog yipped and wagged it's tail in a decidedly excited way that made Harry laugh.
"C'mon then, let's keep looking," he muttered to Susan.
The four of them, plus the dog, walked around the edge of the shack twice before Harry had to admit defeat. Without getting a look inside he had no real idea if Black was in there.
"Where are we 'not looking for Sirius Black' at next?" Tonks asked.
Harry rolled his eyes at her as Grim edged closer to Harry.
"Ignore her boy, she's an imbecile," Harry said loud enough for Tonks to hear.
"Are you sure you're Harry Potter?" Tonks asked. "Because you sound an awful lot like Severus Snape."
Grim growled at Tonks as she changed her hair and nose to mimic Snape.
"One more word and we'll see how good of a witch you are," Susan said darkly.
Tonks laughed as she shifted back to her student-like appearance. She held her hands up in a 'I mean no harm' kind of manner.
"If you guys want to go to the village I'd be thrilled to give you a tour."
Draco turned to Harry with a remarkably pleading look in his grey eyes.
"Fine," Harry huffed. "Let's go."
Draco lit up and practically pulled Susan along with him as he all but ran towards the village.
"Slow down," Tonks cried. "I'm clumsy."
Harry laughed unkindly when she tripped over a stone not thirty seconds later.
"Feel free to go away," Susan said with a sweet smile.
"You guys aren't very nice," Tonks said with what Harry was sure was a fake pout. "I thought a fellow badger would be more welcoming."
"You thought wrong, didn't you?" Susan hummed.
"Are we fighting or are we going to Honeydukes before we have to meet up with everyone?" Draco said.
Harry would have preferred to fight, but Draco pouted in the most ridiculous way.
Tonks chattered about the different shops they passed alongside the sidewalk. Despite Harry's best efforts, he found himself listening along to her chatter. She was ridiculously cheerful, very clumsy for a cop, but she had a lot of interesting stories.
When they got to Honeydukes Harry made Grim wait outside with a firm command.
"Do not run off or I won't buy you anything to eat," he said. "I'm not chasing you around town all day."
Grim wagged his tail and obediently slunk off to the alleyway entrance beside the shop as Harry and the others went inside.
Harry felt his jaw drop before he caught himself once he stepped inside.
"Brill," he breathed taking in the sight. Everywhere he looked there were shelves and shelves of brightly colored sweets.
"Cmon!" Susan grabbed his hand and pulled him towards the shelves. "Let's find something wild for Lue!"
Harry ignored Tonks as he spent a very fun hour picking out a huge variety of treats with his friends. They filled a huge bag with all sorts of different stuff for Luna, including some sort of gummies that were shaped like different creatures. Harry grabbed a handful of 'Pup Treats' for Grim and even found some owl biscuits that he snagged for Sevvie.
He watched carefully as he saw Fred and George Weasley disappear in to a trap door behind the counter when they thought nobody noticed.
He wondered if they were robbing the place and made a mental note to ask them about it next time he saw them. He couldn't do it now with the blonde cop he had stuck to him.
They eventually left the shop with arms full of candies and all thoughts of finding Black temporarily forgotten.
"I can shrink those so you can carry them easier," Tonks offered.
Susan, who Harry was beginning to suspect did not like Tonks at all, snorted before holding her packages out to Harry.
He smirked at Tonks before pointing his pinky at Susan's bag. "Shrink," he drawled.
He was showing off a bit, as Susan's bag immediately shrunk down, but the look of surprise on Tonk's face was worth it.
"How'd you do that?" she asked with a big smile as he repeated the process on Draco's bag.
"Magic."
He pulled out the Pup Treats for Grim before he shrunk and pocketed his and Luna's bags.
"Grim, c'mon buddy, want a treat?"
Grim ran up to him and jumped up, putting his giant paws on Harry's chest.
"Get down stupid," Harry laughed as he nearly fell at the huge weight. "If you knock me down in front of all these people I'm not giving you a treat."
Grim jumped down immediately and looked up at Harry with his tongue wagging out of his mouth.
"You're ridiculous," Harry laughed as he tossed a few treats to him. "You can have more if you come back to Hogwarts tomorrow, yeah? C'mon, let's go get you food."
Grim followed behind the four of them, occasionally dodging between their legs. After he knocked Tonks down and Harry laughed, it seemed like he purposefully kept trying to trip her.
Which was fine by Harry.
They got to the Three Broomsticks and Grim whined at the door.
"You can't come in Grim," Susan said with a fond pat to the dogs back. "We'll get you some food though, okay?"
Grim wagged his tail again before trotting off to the side alley.
They stepped inside and Harry felt the warmth of the building chase away any lingering chill from the dementors presence in the village.
"Over here!" Harry saw Blaise waving them down to a booth in the corner where the rest of their friends were already seated.
"You can go be a tail over there," Harry said, gesturing Tonks towards the bar top.
"Fine," Tonks sighed dramatically. "I guess I'll just be an adult in a pub then," she winked one last time before shifting back to her normal appearance and sitting down at the bar across from them.
"Find anything?" Neville asked softly.
"Not a thing," Harry said rather crossly. "If Black's at the Shack then he's inside and I couldn't shake Tonks to get in, could I?"
Neville gave him a sympathetic grimaced before Ron jumped in with an offer to go get everyone a drink.
"He just wants to flirt with Rosmerta," Theo laughed.
Harry watched as Ron walked up to the bar and his ears turned red almost immediately as the bartender, a curvy woman with a low cut top, approached him.
"Boys are ridiculous," Susan said to Hermione who nodded sagely.
Harry didn't bother protesting since Ron did look rather silly as he gawked and blushed at Rosmerta while she grabbed eight butterbeers.
"Rosmerta said Tonk's bought 'em for us," Ron said with a soppy grin on his face as he handed out the drinks.
Harry glared at the grinning Auror and levitated a couple sickles to her.
There was no chance he'd be indebted to a cop.
"What did you guys get up to?" Draco asked the other kids.
Immediately Ron and Blaise launched in to a story about the joke shop they went to. Neville occasionally threw in a comment here or there. Harry glanced at the quiet couple across from him and saw that they were holding hands and whispering and giggling together.
"What'd you guys get up to then?" Harry asked them.
"Ooh," Hermione sat up and smiled happily at his question. "We went to the post office! They have about two hundred owls, all sitting on shelves, all color-coded depending on how fast you want your letter to get there!"
"The post office is not a romantic date," Draco snorted giving Theo a disbelieving look. "Why didn't you guys go to Madam Puddifoot's?"
Theo looked suddenly uncertain, but Hermione scowled at Draco.
"We had a wonderful time," she said haughtily. "Much more fun than sitting in a stuffy tea shop."
The rest of them started arguing over the best place to visit Hogsmeade for a date while Harry looked around the pub instead. He was watching two goblins speaking rapid fire Gobbledegook when the chiming of the door opening drew his eyes to the new arrival.
Professors McGonagall and Flitwick had just entered the pub with a flurry of snowflakes, shortly followed by Hagrid, who was deep in conversation with a portly man in a lime-green bowler hat and a pinstriped cloak — Cornelius Fudge, Minister of Magic.
"Be right back," Harry said to his friends as he jumped to his feet.
He'd seen the signs all over the village announcing the presence of dementors 'by order of the Ministry of Magic' and wanted to find out why.
"Harry! How are you lad?"
Harry stretched the fingers in his left hand as his right was enthusiastically shook by the Minister.
"Hello Minister Fudge, how are you?" he said politely.
"Oh none of that now," Fudge winked at him. "I told you, call me Cornelius."
Professor McGonagall gave Harry an exasperated sort of look when Fudge said that.
"Here Harry, join us for a drink, won't you?"
Harry glanced back at his table of friends and shrugged.
"Sure, thank you Cornelius."
Harry sat on the corner chair at the table and ordered a water when everyone else ordered their drinks.
"What brings you to town Minister?" Rosmerta asked when she brought them all drinks.
"Sirius Black, of course," the Minister sighed before taking a deep drink. "I heard all about your actions on Halloween lad," he said with a wink towards Harry. "Very brave of you! But you have to be careful," he wagged a finger in Harry's direction, "Black is mad. Who knows what kind of dark magic he could have used on you?"
Harry very carefully did not make a face at Black's supposed madness nor how apparently since he's a bad person he must be using dark magic.
Harry was very interested to see McGonagall scowl minutely before taking a sip of her drink though.
"It was confusing how Black even got in the castle," Harry said. "I thought the dementors would have been able to catch him? Isn't that what they're there for?" he blinked innocently at Fudge.
Flitwick winked at him from behind the Minister's back.
"I know, I know," Fudge sighed. "The dementors were not happy he was able to slip past them. I've just met some of them. They're in a fury against Dumbledore — he won't let them inside the castle grounds."
"I should think not," said Professor McGonagall sharply. "How are we supposed to teach with those horrors floating around?"
"Hear, hear!" squeaked Professor Flitwick.
"All the same," demurred Fudge, "they are here to protect you all from something much worse... We all know what Black's capable of..."
"Do you know, I still have trouble believing it," said Rosmerta thoughtfully. "Of all the people to go over to the Dark Side, Sirius Black was the last I'd have thought... I mean, I remember him when he was a boy at Hogwarts. If you'd told me then what he was going to become, I'd have said you'd had too much mead."
"Suppose that's because he didn't get your parents killed," Harry said curtly, effectively shutting Rosmerta up.
"I'm sorry dear," she said after an awkwardly silent moment. "You know your father used to come in here all the time. Oh he used to make me laugh. Him and Black both, they were ringleaders of their little gang you know," she gave Harry a cheerful little smile.
Harry would desperately have liked to of ignored her but figured he needed to adopt the 'poor orphan Harry' routine in front of McGonagall and Fudge.
"Really?" he said, making his eyes wide. "He named Black my godfather you know, I figured they were probably best friends in school."
"You'd have thought Black and Potter were brothers!" chimed in Professor Flitwick. "Inseparable!"
"I met him!" growled Hagrid suddenly. "I musta bin the last ter see him before he killed all them people! It was me what rescued little Harry here from Lily an' James's house after they was killed!"
Harry gave him a sharp look, ignoring the looks of pity the other four adults were giving him.
Why the Hell was Hagrid the one to come get him from his parents house?
... Dumbledore.
"Jus' got him outta the ruins, poor little thing," Hagrid continued with a sad look towards Harry. "An' Sirius Black turns up, on that flyin' motorbike he used ter ride. Never occurred ter me what he was doin' there. I didn' know he'd bin Lily an' James's Secret-Keeper. Thought he'd jus' heard the news o' You-Know-Who's attack an' come ter see what he could do. White an' shakin', he was. An' yeh know what I did? I COMFORTED THE MURDERIN' TRAITOR!" Hagrid roared.
"Hagrid, please!" said Professor McGonagall. "Keep your voice down!"
"How was I ter know he wasn' upset abou' Lily an' James? It was You-Know-Who he cared abou'! An' then he says, 'Give Harry ter me, Hagrid, I'm his godfather, I'll look after him —' Ha! But I'd had me orders from Dumbledore."
Harry wondered which would have been worse- living with the Dursley's or Black.
Dursley's, he decided quickly. He added 'kept me from my godfather' as another reason for why he'd one day kill Dumbledore.
"I told Black no, Dumbledore said Harry was ter go ter his aunt an' uncle's. Black argued, but in the end he gave in. Told me ter take his motorbike ter get Harry there. 'I won't need it anymore,' he says.
"I shoulda known there was somethin' fishy goin' on then. He loved that motorbike, what was he givin' it ter me for? Why wouldn' he need it anymore? Fact was, it was too easy ter trace. Dumbledore knew he'd bin the Potters' Secret-Keeper. Black knew he was goin' ter have ter run fer it that night, knew it was a matter o' hours before the Ministry was after him.
"But what if I'd given Harry to him, eh?" Hagrid said with a wave towards Harry. "I bet he'd've pitched him off the bike halfway out ter sea. His bes' friends' son! But when a wizard goes over ter the Dark there's nothin' and no one that matters to 'em anymore..."
A long silence followed Hagrid's story as the adults all either glared at Hagrid (McGonagall) or gave Harry the most pitying looks (Rosmerta).
"I'm... I'm gonna go..." Harry said, pushing his glass back and getting to his feet. "It w-was nice to see you Minister," he said with a nod to Fudge.
He quickly left the pub before any of his friends, or Tonks, could catch up to him.
He didn't know why Hagrid's story bothered him so much. He knew it already. Mister Malfoy had told him about the Fidelius Charm, about Black being the Secret-Keeper, and how Black was so covertly on the Dark Lord's side that none of the other Death Eaters even knew he'd been one of them until the end.
It just stung still. Everything could have been different. If Black hadn't betrayed his parents to Voldemort. If Black hadn't let Hagrid take him. If his parents had picked a different godfather.
Everything could have been different for him.
And Hagrid sat there and carried on about it in front of the whole pub like Harry's life was one big public story. Which, maybe people thought it was, but that didn't mean Harry had to like it.
Harry walked briskly back towards the castle, too unfamiliar with the village to stray too far off the path. He passed through the gates and caught his breath once he could see the castle again.
"Arf, arf."
He looked behind him and saw that Grim had followed him.
"Damn it. I'm sorry buddy, I forgot to get you food."
Grim wagged his tail slowly and padded up to Harry and licked his hand while he looked up at him with his big grey eyes.
"I'm fine," Harry said as Grim whined at him. "I'm just..." Harry struggled to find the right word. "Mad, I guess. I'm just mad."
Grim whined again and pulled on Harry's sleeve.
"Where we going buddy?" Harry grinned as Grim tried to yank him towards the tree line. "You lazy thing, you just wanna use me as a pillow again don't you?"
Grim wagged his tail eagerly. Harry sat and leaned against the tree and Grim immediately put his heavy head on Harry's lap.
"Hagrid's an idiot," Harry murmured. "Telling the whole pub about Black betraying my parents like that. How would he like it if I told stories about him to everyone, huh?" Grim whined some more so Harry scratched his ears as he talked.
"You know Black was my godfather, yeah? And he just let Hagrid take off with me. Which is only a little better than killing me there, I guess." Grim growled a little at that.
"Which d'you think is worse Grim- dying or living with people who hated you for seven years?"
Grim picked his head up and looked at Harry before growling more viciously.
"Did your owners kick you out too? Is that why you're my dog now?" Grim laid his head back down gingerly on Harry's lap and Harry resumed scratching his ears. "D'you wanna help me find Black? I figure if I wait long enough he'll find me and try to kill me." Grim let out a distressed sounding yip that made Harry smile.
"Black couldn't actually kill me, could he buddy? Doesn't even have his fuckin' knife," Harry laughed and Grim panted in a way that Harry thought sounded like he was laughing too. "Everyone says he's mad, he's a Dark Wizard, he's evil. But Cissa says he was 'tragically misunderstood'," Harry sighed. "Snape says I'm misunderstood too. D'you suppose that's just a nice way of saying crazy?"
'Have you lost your god damned mind?'
"Snape doesn't get it," Harry murmured. "He thinks everything's so easy, doesn't he buddy? He says I should tell someone a secret, see if I can trust them. I think he's the mad one," Harry said softly. "People trick you and betray you and don't give a damn about your secrets. I can tell you a secret though, can't I buddy?" Grim whined and thumped his tail on the ground a couple of times.
"Susan told me she loves me, she's my best friend, but I don't even know what that means," he confessed quietly, knowing Grim could never repeat his words. "Mione and Theo are in love, I guess, and I don't get it either. D'you... d'you think I'm broken, or something? How d'you know if you love someone?"
Harry looked up at the sky as he sorted through his own thoughts.
"I'd kill someone who tried to hurt my friends, but if they tried to hurt me I'd probably kill them too. So do I love them? That doesn't sound like love does it?"
Grim licked one of Harry's hands and Harry smiled softly down at him.
"Think I can tell Snape I told you a secret and he'd let it count?" Grim panted with his tongue lolling out making Harry laugh. "Probably not huh?"
Harry sighed again and sat quietly with Grim for a while, scratching his ears and watching as students started to return to the castle.
"I better go buddy," Harry said as he stood up. "Don't want Snape to come yelling again, do we?"
Grim bared his teeth in a growl at that and Harry gave him a last pat to his head.
"Good talk buddy, I'll bring you out some food after dinner, alright?"
Grim barked happily as Harry made his way back to the castle. He felt quite a bit calmer now that he told Grim some of his problems. Snape was the mad one thinking he'd ever go talk to some Mind Healer, why would he? They'd probably just shout out all his problems in public just like Hagrid did. At least Grim couldn't talk.
The next week passed by quickly as everyone began to get excited for the upcoming Quidditch match.
"If we beat Hufflepuff then we're in the finals against Gryffindor," Draco explained for the hundredth time over dinner the night before the game. "If we lose then we have to beat Ravenclaw and then we're in the finals against Gryffindor."
Everyone mostly tuned him out as they chatted about other things.
"Did you guys get your essay done for Sprout?" Ron asked with a guilty look on his face. "I'm stuck on mine."
"It's due Monday!" Hermione cried.
"Mines done, you can look it over if you want," Neville offered.
"Er- can I look it over too?" Harry asked. "You can copy mine for McGonagall if so."
"Deal," Neville said quickly. "You guys wanna go to the library before it closes? I can give you the book I used in case you wanna use your own references."
"Good thinking," Harry said, getting to his feet. "See you guys later," he called to their other friends.
Ron, Neville, and himself were halfway to the library when Harry spotted Ron's twin brothers whispering in an alcove together.
"Hey I'll catch up in a minute," he told them as he made his way over to Fred and George quickly.
"It's little Master Snake!" One of the twins said.
"Oh your Dark Snake Lordiness, what can we do for you?" The other said with a big smile.
"Were you guys robbing Honeydukes?" he asked bluntly.
"What?" The twins both looked at him and were either incredibly good liars or they truly had no idea what he was talking about.
"I saw you go in a trap door," he said.
"Oh!" The twins laughed before glancing at each other and doing their silent communication thing they do sometimes.
"No," one of them said. "Don't tell anyone, okay?"
Harry hummed noncommittally. If they were going to trust him with a secret without asking for a Vow that was their problem.
"It's a secret passageway," the other said quietly. "We weren't strictly supposed to be there-"
"-on account of being banned for the weekend."
They both laughed and Harry perked up at that. If there were secret passageways in to Hogsmeade then he could go back and look for Sirius Black at some point.
"How'd you find it?" he asked as casually as he could.
One of them pulled out a blank piece of parchment and winked at him, "We have a map."
Harry eyed the parchment and weighed his options. On the one hand, the twins could he pranking him. On the other hand, if they really had a map of Hogwarts with secret passageways then Harry wanted it.
"I'll buy it off you," he offered. "Name your price."
"No can do-"
"-not even for your Snakiness."
Harry shrugged. He tried to be nice.
"Okay then. I'm cashing in my favor you owe me," he said to the one holding the map. "No questions asked- I want that map."
He held his hand out and tugged on his magic. The map flew right to his hands and Harry smiled at the twins.
"Don't suppose you wanna let me know how to work it, do you?"
The Twins gaped at him before quickly whispering back and forth with each other.
"How much will you pay us if we tell you?" one of them asked shrewdly.
Harry shrugged and looked down at the parchment. He put his hand flat on it and thought he could feel a warm hum from it.
Fairly confident now that this wasn't just a blank piece of parchment he considered his choices.
"Nothing if I can figure it out myself," he eventually said.
Show me the map, he thought as he tried to push his magic in to the parchment through his hand.
As though an invisible hand were writing upon it, words appeared on the smooth surface of the map.
Mr Moony bids Potter Junior a good evening and mourns the fact he clearly did not inherit his mother's brains.
"What the fuck?" Harry murmured, watching as the map continued to insult him in the oddest ways.
Mr Prongs agrees with Mr Moony and would like to add it is not too late for Potter Junior to request a resort.
"Who the fuck are Moony and Prongs?" Harry demanded of the Twins before even more writing appeared.
Mr Wormtail wishes Potter Junior a good day and advices him to eat more vegetables if he ever wishes to be taller than a midget.
Mr Padfoot would like to add that it is a shame Potter Junior is just as nearsighted as Potter Senior without half the charm or looks.
Mr Prongs would like to remind Mr Padfoot to watch himself.
"Is this a joke?" Harry said, glaring at the twins once the 'map' wiped itself clean. "I swear to God-"
"No, no, Harry, no. I swear to you that wasn't us!" One of the twins said with wide blue eyes while the other shook his head quickly.
"It's a real map, mate. We swear," the one further from Harry added.
"10 galleons and show me how it works," Harry said, unwilling to give up the other favor the twins owe him for the map.
"20," the one further from Harry countered with.
"8, and I don't curse you."
"10, you don't curse us, and you go to Hogsmeade with me next month," the one by Harry grinned.
Harry looked at him curiously.
"Why would I go to Hogsmeade with you? We aren't even friends."
The one further back started laughing hysterically until Harry glared darkly at him, then he just bit his lip to try and stifle his laughs.
"We could be," the one by Harry winked. "I'm a terrific friend to have."
"12 galleons, I don't curse you, and I don't go to Hogsmeade with you," Harry said instead.
"Deal," the one further from Harry grinned. "Put your wand, or hand I guess, on the parchment and say 'I solemnly swear that I am up to no good'."
"If you're winding me up I'm not paying you," Harry warned him before doing what he said.
And at once, just like before, thin ink lines began to spread like a spider's web from the point that Harry's hand had touched. They joined each other, they crisscrossed, they fanned into every corner of the parchment; then words began to blossom across the top, great, curly red words, that proclaimed:
Messrs. Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs Purveyors of Aids to Magical Mischief-Makers are proud to present
THE MARAUDER'S MAP
It really was a map showing every detail of the Hogwarts castle and grounds. But the truly remarkable thing were the tiny ink dots moving around it, each labeled with a name in minuscule writing. Astounded, Harry bent over it. A labeled dot in the top left corner showed that Professor Dumbledore was pacing his study; the caretaker's cat, Mrs. Norris, was prowling the second floor; and Peeves the Poltergeist was currently bouncing around the trophy room. And as Harry's eyes traveled up and down the familiar corridors, he noticed something else. There were at least half a dozen passages that led right off the map and off Hogwarts grounds.
"Brill," Harry breathed. "Where'd you get it?"
"Nicked it from Filch our first year," the twin by Harry grinned. "We use it for all our pranks."
"If you don't clear it when you're done then anyone can read it," the other twin said warningly.
"Just put your wand-"
"-or hand-"
"-on the map and say 'Mischief Managed'."
Harry tried it out to make sure it worked before reactivating the map and watching as the tiny dots moved across it. Harry pulled out his coin purse that was linked to his account and counted out 12 gold coins before turning his attention back to the map.
"Here," he murmured distractedly, mesmerized by the amount of information the map showed.
"Cheers mate," the twin further from him said.
"Let me know if you change your mind about next month," the other said with another cheerful wink.
Harry grimaced at the annoying way the twins talked as they wandered down the hall. He wasn't even sure now which one owed him a favor still.
"First time anyones paid me to not go on a date with me," one of the twins grumbled as they walked away.
Harry heard the other one laugh as he clapped his brother on the shoulder.
"Won't be the last time Freddie."
Harry shook his head in bemusement at their antics. When did he pay Fred to not go on a date?
He looked down at the map and grinned when he saw that Ron and Neville were still in the library.
Snape said he should trust his friends with a secret and the map was officially a secret.