Jay left early the next morning.
He didn't make a big deal out of it. Just said he had something to do and that he'd call later.
But even in the way he spoke, I could tell something was slightly different from the night before.
Maybe he was thinking too much.
Maybe I was.
Or maybe we were both just pretending nothing shifted.
Because something did.
I stayed in bed for a while after he left, staring at the space he had been sitting like it would give me answers if I looked long enough. It didn't.
All these guys.
I wish I was done with all this shenanigans.
Eventually I got up and started fixing my bed just to keep my hands busy. The kind of quiet in the room wasn't heavy, just annoying. Like it reminded me of things I didn't want to sit with yet.
I was still adjusting the bedsheet when the door opened and Ella walked in like she owned the place.
"I just saw Jay downstairs," she said immediately.
I didn't even look up. "Okay."
She stopped. "Okay?"
I sighed and turned slightly. "What am I supposed to say?"
She dropped her bag on the chair and studied me. "Something happened."
I hesitated for a second.
Then I told her.
Everything.
Not dramatic. Not emotional. Just the facts. Him saying it. Me smiling. Me not saying it back. The way the conversation ended.
By the time I finished, Ella was already laughing.
I stared at her. "Why are you laughing?"
"You," she said again, like that explained everything.
I frowned. "How is that funny?"
She sat on the edge of the bed. "Anna, you're actually serious."
"I am serious," I said.
"No," she shook her head. "You're serious about everything except the part that matters."
That made me quiet.
She leaned back slightly. "What do you actually feel about him?"
I looked at her, then away.
"I don't know," I said.
She raised a brow. "That's a lie."
"It's not," I replied.
"It is," she said calmly. "You just don't want to say it out loud."
I exhaled. "I like him."
Ella nodded. "Okay."
"But I don't trust it," I added quickly.
She paused. "Don't trust what?"
"How it feels," I said. "It feels too easy and at the same time too familiar. Like I've been here before, even if it's not exactly the same."
Ella didn't interrupt this time.
"I don't want to fall into something again and then regret it later," I said.
She studied me for a moment.
"Anna," she said, softer now, "you can't keep using your past as a shield."
I didn't answer.
"That same past you're trying to protect yourself from," she continued, "can also be the reason you miss something that's actually good for you."
That line stayed.
I changed the topic quickly, like I always did when something got too close.
"I cooked," I said.
She blinked. "What?"
"Come," I repeated.
We went into the kitchen.
I handed her a fork. "Macaroni."
She took a bite and nodded immediately. "Okay this is actually good."
I smiled a little. "Obviously."
She laughed lightly and leaned on the counter. For a few minutes, we talked about random things. Nothing serious. Nothing heavy. Just normal.
It felt easier like that.
Like we were avoiding everything else without saying we were.
After a while, her phone rang.
She looked at it and sighed. "I have to meet up with someone."
I didn't ask who.
I already knew.
I just nodded. "Okay."
She looked at me for a second longer than usual. "Think about what I said."
"I will," I replied.
She smiled faintly, then left.
I stayed in the kitchen after she left, just standing there.
Maybe she was right.
Maybe I was making things more complicated than they needed to be.
Maybe not everything had to end badly.
I let out a small breath and leaned slightly against the counter.
There's no harm in trying.
That thought didn't feel forced this time.
It just… sat there.
Simple.
Clear.
And for once, I didn't argue with it.
So I made up my mind.
I was going to give this a chance.
Not halfway.
Not carefully.
Just enough to see where it went.
I didn't know then that I should have just stayed on my own.
Because the same Jay who said "I love you"…
Was the same Jay who would leave a scar on my life.
And almost cost me everything.