Ella and I got back late.
Not extremely late, but late enough that my heels were already annoying me and Ella was still talking about the party like we hadn't just spent hours there together.
"I still can't believe that guy fell into the speaker," she said while laughing for the hundredth time.
I dropped my bag on the chair and laughed too. "That was actually your fault."
"How?" she gasped dramatically.
"You pushed him."
"I barely touched him!"
"You almost sent that boy to heaven, I'm pretty sure he hates you now"
Ella burst out laughing again while kicking off her shoes. "why, because I almost sent him to "heaven".
I held my chest laughing, least the party wasn't boring
She wasn't wrong.
It actually ended up being more fun than I expected. Not life-changing or anything dramatic, just easy. I danced a little, took pictures with Ella, laughed more than usual and somehow didn't spend the entire night inside my head for once.
That alone felt strange enough.
Ella stretched her arms. "I'm sleeping here tonight because if I go back downstairs right now, I'll genuinely cry."
I laughed. "Drama queen."
"Anna, my feet are dead."
"You chose beauty over comfort."
"And I'd do it again."
I shook my head, smiling, then picked up my phone from the bed.
Jay.
Three messages.
Did you survive?
You ignored me for two hours.
I'm starting to think you found a new boyfriend.
I laughed under my breath.
Immediately, another message came in.
Finally active.
I smiled before replying.
Relax. I was busy.
His reply came almost immediately.
Send pictures.
I rolled my eyes slightly but still opened my gallery.
Most of the pictures were chaotic because Ella refused to stay still in any of them. One was blurry because somebody pushed into us while we were posing. Another one was just me laughing at something off camera.
I stared at that one a little longer before sending it.
A few seconds later my phone rang.
Ella looked over immediately. "Your man."
"Please shut up," I said while answering.
"Hello?"
"You finally remembered I exist," Jay said.
I smiled despite myself. "You're actually dramatic."
"You disappeared."
"I was at a party, not war."
"Same thing honestly."
I laughed quietly and sat on the edge of the bed while Ella started removing her makeup nearby.
Then Jay said, "You looked really, really good."
I blushed so hard and then he said "you looked yummy".
The way he said it made me pause slightly.
Not in that unserious compliment way guys usually talk. He sounded like he actually meant it.
"Thank you," I replied.
"You didn't even send the full pictures."
"Because Ella ruined half of them."
"I heard that," Ella shouted from across the room.
Jay laughed softly through the phone. "Tell her I support women's rights and women's wrongs."
Ella pointed at my phone immediately. "I like him again."
I laughed and shook my head.
For a while the conversation stayed easy like that. Random. Comfortable.
He asked how the party was and I told him about the drunk guy that almost broke the speaker. Then I told him about Ella forcing me to dance even though I clearly didn't know what I was doing.
"You dance?" he asked, sounding genuinely shocked.
"Relax."
"No, because now I'm trying to picture it."
"You're annoying."
"I need evidence."
"You're not getting any."
He laughed again and somehow hearing it through the phone felt different tonight. Softer maybe.
I got up and started wiping off my makeup slowly while we talked.
Then somewhere in between the conversation, things shifted naturally.
Not into anything serious.
Just deeper.
"What did you want to be when you were younger?" he asked suddenly.
I looked at myself in the mirror. "That's random."
"Answer."
I shrugged slightly even though he couldn't see me. "I wanted to be a doctor for a while."
"A doctor?"
"Yh."
"What happened?"
"I realized blood is disgusting."
He laughed immediately. "Fair."
"What about you?" I asked.
"Footballer."
I smiled. "You definitely look like someone that wanted to be a footballer."
"That's offensive."
"It's true."
"Wow."
I laughed quietly.
Then he asked, "What were you like as a child?"
I thought about it for a second. "Quiet, I guess."
"I don't believe that."
"It's true."
"Nah. I feel like you were secretly troublesome."
"Secretly?"
"Very secretly."
I smiled to myself while rubbing moisturizer into my skin. "I used to hide from visitors when they came to the house."
He laughed. "Why?"
"I don't know. I just hated greeting people."
"That actually explains a lot."
"Please."
"No seriously, it explains why you act like social interaction is a punishment."
I laughed again and sat back on the bed.
Ella was already half asleep at this point, scrolling through her phone lazily.
"You know," Jay said after a while, "I like talking to you like this."
"Like what?"
"Like you're not overthinking every sentence before you say it."
That made me pause slightly.
Because he was right.
Usually when I talked to people, especially about myself, there was always something holding me back. Something stopping me from saying too much.
But tonight felt easier.
Maybe because he wasn't pushing.
Maybe because I was tired.
Or maybe because somewhere along the line, talking to him stopped feeling difficult.
I leaned back against the wall slightly. "You talk too much."
"That's your response?"
"Yes."
He laughed softly again.
Then he said, quieter this time, "I mean it though."
Something about the way he said it settled strangely in my chest.
Not heavy.
Just there.
I looked down at my hands for a second before speaking again. "I think Ella corrupted me."
"How?"
"She dragged me to that party and suddenly I'm social."
"I'm proud of her."
"She's becoming too powerful."
"She's helping me."
I rolled my eyes slightly. "Please."
Then there was a pause, but not awkward.
The kind where neither person feels pressured to fill it immediately.
I heard him shift slightly on his side too.
"You sound tired," I said.
"I am."
"Then sleep."
"I can't just sleep in the middle of talking to you."
"You literally can."
"That's rude."
I smiled a little. "Goodnight then."
"Wait."
"What?"
"Stay on the phone."
I don't even know why that made my chest feel warm.
"Okay," I replied quietly.
A few minutes later he got quieter.
His replies became slower.
Then eventually they stopped completely.
I pulled the phone away slightly and realized he had fallen asleep.
I stared at the screen for a second before laughing softly under my breath.
"Wow," I murmured.
I should've hung up.
Instead, I stayed there holding the phone beside me while Ella snored lightly from the other side of the room.
And for the first time in a very long time, my mind wasn't running in circles.
It was just calm.
I didn't know then how dangerous that feeling actually was.