[Science Exhibition Preliminary D+???]
Sweep- Sweep- Sweep-Sweep-
"What the f*ck....?
Just when I was finally getting my head straight and trying to focus on studying for the first time in a long while, all my attention got drawn to the sound of the new manager mopping the hallway.
Sweep-Sweep- Sweep- Sweep-
"...."
"Why the hell is he working so hard today of all days?"
I glared at the door, trembling with
frustration.
Sweep- Sweep- Sweep- Sweep-
"When is he gonna stop, seriously..."
I held my head for a moment and waited for the manager to pass by.
But the new manager seemto be brimming with energy today, as he went back to scrub the same spot he had already cleaned, working so diligently as if he was cleaning a dogshit.
Sweep-Sweep- Sweep- Sweep-
'..This son of a bitch, I'll kill you.'
Barely holding the rage, I stood up shakily and climbed up onto the chair to look out the window.
Just wanted to see what the hell this b*stard was even doing.
"He's even sweating?"
Peeking out into the hallway,I saw the new manager mopping the floor furiously, dripping with sweat even in the middle of winter.
"Are you crazy? What the hell's so dirty there that you're scrubbing like a maniac?"
Why was he working so hard? It was
not even that dirty.
What was wrong with him, seriously?
It was common sense around here to just clean up quickly and leave quietly.
What the hell was trying to prove by scrubbing the hallway like that, seriously.
Sweep- Sweep- Sweep- Sweep-
"..."
Grinding my teeth, I kept watching, ready to see how long this bastard would go on. Just then, a door to another room burst open, and a chubby older girl stepped out, scowling and muttering angrily.
"Excuse me. Could you maybe clean
later? It's really loud."
"O-oh, s-sorry... I'l just finish up this part and.."
"And how much longer is it gonna take? Do I have to keep hearing that noise?"
The chubby older girl from the boarding house snapped irritably.
I silently cheered her on 'Good job!', and soon the clueless manager finally stopped cleaning, bowed his head, and went back to the front desk.
'Fucking hell, what a clueless bitch.'
I've got my eye on you now.
**
"Isn't the new manager way too noisy?"
"I'm telling you, he cleans nonstop, like
endlessly. He's fucking crazy."
Cleaning the boarding house, as if grinding endlessly!
I nodded.
"I thought it was just me annoyed, but turn Out everyone feels the same."
"Joony, it was loud for you too, right?"
"Yeah, that bitch was even sweating while cleaning."
Evening.
At the BBQ chicken restaurant, we, the
Noryangjin civil service exam takers, gathered together, gritting our teeth and cursing the new manager.
For us, who normally didn't meet outsiders, the managers were always a Common enemy.
"Is there any way to complain and get rid of him?"
"I heard it's really hard to find managers, so probably not..."
As we were whispering like that, the uncle-aged leader slammed his beer down with a thud.
"Hey, f*ck it, if that doesn't work out, then we'll kick him out ourselves."
Letting out a surprised breath mixed with the smell of alcohol.
I asked, curious but cautious.
"..How exactly do you plan to kick him
out?"
"Watch closely. I'll show you tonight.
There's a guy here who's really good at kicking the managers out."
He sounded confident and threatening.
The others chuckled, saying it sounded funny since they'd been through it a few times before, and that guy would definitely succeed.
"How will they do that? I'm curious.'
"Do you know what's the method, sister?"
"You'll find out later~."
The senior sister preparing for the civil service exam rolled her eyes up, showing only the whites, and giggled.
The CSAT retaker girl next to me also laughed, eyes bloodshot with excitement.
I still didn't know the method, but just the thought of being able to kick out that annoying manager made a wicked laugh bubble up from inside me.
'You're f*cked now, dumb*ss.'
That night.
"G-Ghost! It's a ghost.."
From the room at the end of the hallway, a long-haired lanky exam taker burst out holding a knife, and the manager, scared out of his mind, bolted outside in fear.
We all climbed on chairs in our roomsvand watched through the window as the manager ran off in fright, then we burst out laughing.
"Puhahaha... Did you see that idiot running away?"
"He must have peed himself, right? Ahaha,"
Everyone clapped and emerged from their rooms, seemingly celebrating our Success.
There were clearly only 20 rooms, but a seemingly endless stream of test-takers emerged from nowhere, like a group of cockroaches.
Some swarmed from the bathroom, some from the kitchen, some from the Same room someone was already living in, and a few even crawled out from the ceiling.
And just like that, in the middle of the night, the once-quiet boarding house hallway was packed full of us exam takers.
Even at a glance, there were way more than twenty.
Soon, we broke into applause, thanking the long-haired veteran for what he'd done.
"thank, brother that bastard Was loud as hell."
"Brother, we really appreciate it. If anyone else gets noisy, please kick them out again."
We cheered and thanked him with all our hearts, but the lanky exam-taker, perhaps not fully sane, just shook his head wildly from side to side and silently returned to his room.
It was like the atmosphere where a kid who was somewhat lacking but bold in his actions was hailed as a hero for following orders.
I turned to the uncle-aged leader, who was chuckling beside me, and asked.
"..But who is that long-haired guy? He's never come to our gatherings, right?"
"Oh, that guy. Yeah, he said he's focusing on studying, so he doesn't join our group. He just stays cooped up in his room, so you probably haven't seen him until now Normally, the uncle-aged leader and I were always fighting over the CSAT retaker girl, but tonight, maybe because he was in a good mood, he answered everything I asked without hesitation."
"Yeah, that guy's been here longer than me. He's been studying for the civil service exams for almost twenty years."
"That's f*cking ridiculous."
"..Whoa, twenty years?"
"Yeah. From what I've heard, he's been here since before this boarding house was built, back when it was just a study lounge. He used to work as the manager and study at the same time.He's incredibly passionate, isn't he?"
"That's amazing...."
I felt a sense of respect rising in me.
Could I really chase one thing for that long, with that kind of focus?
I felt I should learn from him.
——
One day, the police showed up, asking questions about the manager who had gone missing.
Naturally, all the exam takers denied knowing anything, then one of the detectives, a big, burly guy, even went room to room, checking each person one by one.
Bang-
"Excuse me."
Bang-
"Excuse me."
One by one, he flung open the doors, checking every face as he went down the hallway.
I was scribbling in my notebook, just hoping they wouldn't disturb my studying too much, when that detective suddenly flung open my door too.
Bang-
"Excuse me.....
The detective froze.
"...Empty room."
Then closed the door again.
Bang-
Excuse me.
Bang-
"Excuse me.....*
Lately, I seem to be sleeping twice a day.
Since I didn't exercise and just sat around all the time, my daily rhythm had completely fallen apart.
But since no sunlight even got into the room, honestly, there was no real way to tell day from night.
So I just slept whenever I felt like it, but that meant I ended up going to bed earlier than I should and then woke up quickly. (Since I was not really tired, I only got light sleep.)
Then later, when it was actually time to sleep, I couldn't fall asleep, so I went down to the internet café to play games until morning, and then finally went to bed.
Because of that, I usually slept through the day twice.
Even then, I'd feel so depressed that I'd often just lie in bed, lost in thought.
Whenever I had the chance, I'd often find myself lost in melancholic daydreams, reminiscing about the past.....
'..I should've tried to get closer to Hayoon back then. She was really pretty'
'I wonder how Mom's doing. Is Dad doing well....:"
I thought about my parents a lot, but since I was the one who stormed out saying I'd focus on studying, I just couldn't bring myself to contact them first.
Lately, there was another thing I've been especially focused on; getting to Diamond rank in League of Legends.
Come to think of it, I've never risen to Diamond in my life, so I figured I'd give it a real shot. But I've been stuck bouncing between Plat 2 and lower, up and down, up and down, so the stress Was unreal.
"You f*cking b*stards, don't do this, please, I carried you all the way here, you sons of b*tches... I said don't do this, please....."
I sat there in the internet café, frantically clicking my mouse, practically begging my teammates.
It might be hard to understand why the
topic suddenly shifted from studying to
hitting Diamond in LoL, but honestly, this kind of mental detour was something exam takers go through all the time.
'F*ck, if I can't even hit Diamond in this simple-ass game, how the hell am I supposed to overcome the daunting obstacle of studying for the civil service exam?'
Diamond in LoL.
It was really nothing special.
Just a slightly higher rank in a game
everyone played.
You've gotta be at least Master or Challenger to be considered a true gaming addict gearing up for pro play.
Diamond was pretty common, every school probably has a few students at that level.
So, I was not some gaming addict.
I was just aiming to hit this level as a way to relieve stress by aiming for a decent upper rank.
If you want to criticize someone for not studying and just gaming, then go ahead and target those kids at Master or Challenger-level, but not me. I was just an ordinary person aiming for Diamond.
Hitting Diamond wasn't something impossible to do while studying for the
civil service exam.
"F*cking hell, why the hell are you doing this? Why...!! You damn b*stards!"
Bang, bang!
I slammed my keyboard down.
I lost, I lost again.
For a moment, I thought I was finally winning a few games, but then I just went on a five-game losing streak.
[T/N: skill issue ]
Crying like a child, I hammered the keyboard down again.
"You sons of b*tches, I did all this for you. Why are you doing this? Why....."
I even slapped my forehead hard with
my palm over and over until my head
went numb.
Unable to contain my rage, I lunged into chat and started hurling savage insults at my teammates, furiously typing until my face turned red.
Then I got reported, hit with a suspension, made a new account and kept grinding..
"Please, please...."
Yes! I won!
I finally, finally, climbed back up to Plat 1!
But the very next moment, I lost seven games in a row and crashed all the way down to Plat 3.
"Seven losses in a row? How could I not win a single game....?"
Were they throwing this on purpose
just to piss me off...? Do they know it Was me?
[T/N: dark system I guess ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ]
"F*ck this sh*t, Im begging you, stop it, why are you doing this to me..."
"Die, you b*stards! Die! You all need to die!"
"Just Diamond. I'l stop at Diamond...
please... just let me have this... Il stop
there...."
"Please....."
I ended up sobbing uncontrollably, completely crushed.
A few people nearby glanced over at me.
"One more game... just one more..."
I wiped my tears and slowly tried to calm myself.
In the end, climbing rank is just a matter of how many games you play.
Even with just a 51% win rate, hell, even 50.1%, as long as you play enough games, your rank will go up eventually.
And honestly, I don't think I've had any
games where I totally sh*t the bed, so at the very least, I knew I was pulling my own weight.
So in the end, if I could just play enough games, I would have climbed.
"So please... just one more. One more time....."
The odds were there.
There was no way I would keep losing like this....
"F*ckers, stop it, please...."
Tears streaming down, I queued up for
another game.
This time, please, please, let me get decent teammates this time...
"AAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!! Don't do this to me, you motherf*cking b*stards!!!! Don't do this, please don't do this ahhhhhhhhhh!!!! I worked so f*cking hard, why are you doing
thisssss, whyyyy aaaare youuuu dooooing thisssss, why are you doing this to me when I tried so f*cking hard...!!"
Bang -bang
-bang-bang-
Aaaahhhhh!!!
I screamed until my voice was hoarse.
I felt like I've played over a hundred games, day and night, and I was still stuck guarding Plat 2!
"You b*stards, don't do this, don't live like that..."
I cried bitterly, overwhelmed with frustration.
PerhapsI was making too much noise,
the store owner came over to my spot.
He looked down at me and gave a slight puzzled look, then shook his head as he muttered.
"...It felt like I heard something."
———
"This time, Joony, you try."
The senior sister and the CSAT retaker girl encouraged me.
I grabbed the knife and hid behind the corner, and the moment the new manager stepped out of the bathroom, I slashed at his leg.
Slash-
"Ahhh! Oooh! Aaaahhh!!"
The manager clutched his leg, screaming in pain.
We quickly giggled and ran away from the scene.
'Serves you right for being so damn noisy, messing up my studying'
I was in this mess because of you guys, damn managers!
Managers, just die, all of you, may the country collapse....
———
It's been a while since I've had dinner alone with the senior sister preparing for the civil service exam.
Just as she said she'd look after me when I joined the group, she often came out to eat with me.
"Joony, what do you want to eat?"
Sister naturally linked her arm with mine as she leaned forward.
I blushed awkwardly.
"..You pick what you want, sister."
"Then I'd like to go to the department store and browse. Any food will do. I just like the atmosphere there."
"Okay, let's go."
I walked into the nearby Clover Department store with the senior sister.
A dazzling, palace-like space.
It was way too fancy a place for us pathetic exam takers to be in.
The senior sister tilted her head, closely examining the display cases filled with expensive watches, jewelry, and luxury goods.
"Someday, I want to have something like this...."
Golden watches shining bright, and jewels.
And the humble exam taker sister
standing before them.
That disparity made me feel a pang of sadness.
For us in Noryangjin, places like this were a luxury.
"..Let's go, sister."
"Yeah..."
I took senior sister's hand and we went into the food court inside the department store.
We ordered a simple pork cutlet and ate together, then stepped out to the fountain in the central hall, sitting quietly side by side.
People came and went all around us.
There were people stopping by after work, and families coming out for dinner together.
Everyone looked happy and joyful; even if their smiles weren't radiant, at least they had their own lives to live.
They had families waiting to welcome them home, tasks and work to do when they started their day.
Friends to meet and people to keep in touch with.
And when they meet after a long time, they can awkwardly or casually share wha they've been up to lately.
The senior sister and I sat quietly by the fountain, blankly watching the flow of people coming and going.
I was sure she felt the Same way I did, I'm jealous Of those people.
I was jealous. They seemed to live in another world.
While we had nothing.
Even if I went back home from the boarding house, I'd only get scolded for going back when I was supposed to be studying, and for not being able to hold it in.
Even if I met up with friends, I'd be too busy hiding what I was up to these days.
And even if we gathered on holidays, i would just lower my head; even if I met someone I liked, I wouldn't be able to tell them what I do.
There was no set daily routine, no one to hold me up, no one who cared, and no motivation to keep going on my own.
"Sister, I've been feeling strange lately."
"Like.....?"
"Like people can't really see me. No, to be exact, they do see me, but. How should I put it... they don't really seem to know I'm there. Even when they look, they don't really notice "
The only time people even slightly recognized me was when I took out money.
Whether it was paying the fee at the
internet café or settling the bill at a restaurant like just now.
Other than that, no one really saw me.
An exam taker who doesn't even spend money is really worth nothing.
I felt like a person without presence.
"People don't know. They don't even realize I'm here."
"..Joon, we're invisible to people."
The senior sister muttered, blankly watching the crowds pass by.
"People don't know that we exist. They don't really want to know how people like us are getting by, whether we're even alive... or if anything's wrong...."
"..."
"It doesn't do them any good. In a world where everyone's just busy living their own lives, there's nothing to say anyway. They probably just assume we're doing fine, working hard... Even if we look lonely now,
once we become part of society, we can keep in touch. For now, we're like....We're just nobody..."
"So that's why we're invisible, Joon... We're unseen.."
The senior sister murmured.
We were invisible people.
The door opened and closed on its own.
Knocking sound coming from an empty room.
Shapes that suddenly seemed to appear and vanish.
The people who harmed themselves without any weapons.
The Detective's initial suspicion was right. It was a person.
But at the same time, just as the managers thought, we were ghosts too.
Neither truly alive nor dead,caught some where between student and adult, exist between society and a lonelycorner, melting our youth away, we belonged nowhere, communicating with no one, and wandered around in gloom. We were invisible beings, fading even in existence.
That how we remain unseen....