Warning! this has some drug use and profanity
I'm adding this because of the drug stuff
"Bye Mom! Bye Dad!" Said Summer ecstatically as Jerry packed some stuff into the car that Beth was inside
"Don't get into any trouble" added Lorimer calmly with a smile as he held Morty's son, Junior
"Drive carefully!" Added Morty cheerfully as he waved to his parents
"Have fun, you two" said Rick as he waved to Beth and Jerry with his grandkids
"Yes, we will have as much fun as possible on our...Titanic themed getaway." Said Beth sarcastically.
"Let's lose the tude, please. It's supposed to be romantic." Whined Jerry
"Speaking of disasters, dad, we are leaving you in charge, here" said Beth calmly as she peeked through the car window "i was gonna have Lorimer do it, but he refused saying that he'd be a tyrant"
"I know-" Rick couldn't finish the sentence before Summer yelled out
"Wait, why was Lorimer your first choice?" She asked with a frown
"Because he's the only one here antisocial enough to not throw or permit a party when he's in charge," said Beth before narrow her eyes as she stared at Summer and Morty "all while being able to handle the responsibility even if he'd abuse it and become a tyrant"
Summer frowned at this before Rick butted in and pushed Summer behind him lightly "C-can we wrap this up? Morty and I *burp* have some synthetic laser-eels oxidizing in the garage."
"Hey, don't blow me off. I am drawing a line, okay?" Said Beth angrily as she narrowed her eyes "Any damage to this house or these children when we get back, and...no more adventures with Morty."
"Aw, geez, Rick. If my mom's the one who's saying it, then you know it's pretty serious this time." Said Morty nervously
"Yeah, she lets me make things that legally qualify as drugs. You know when someone that calm gets mad, it's serious" added Lorimer
""That's right!"" Said Beth and Jerry in union
"Wait, what? You let him make drugs?!" Asked Jerry angrily
"Don't worry, he isn't gonna sell them or take them himself. He'll probably just grab a frog, dress it in sith robes after giving it the ability to speak and give it the drugs. Then he'd cackle like a madman as the sith frog continuously says 'I'm trippin baaaallls' in a deep voice" replied Beth reassuringly as if it was the most normal thing ever
Everyone was speechless at Beth's words. They all, even Junior, turned to Lorimer who quickly cleared his throat as he held Junior in one hand "can you please not expose me like that?"
"Look, who cares about Lorimer's broken sense of humor? Just go on your stupid trip." Said Rick with a frown before Beth could reply to Lorimer
"Remember; not one thing out of place" added Jerry in a serious tone as the car drove off "not a single thing"
As soon as Beth and Jerry were out of sight, a part of the garage door was disintegrated to make a circle that synthetic lazer eels flew out of. They screeched as they flew away into the distance and the garage door collapsed on the family without squashing them due to the hole.
"Well, we're past the point of no return. I'm going to have a party." Said Summer happily
"I'm gonna go watch cartoons with Junior" said Lorimer cheerfully
"Okay, Junior, today you graduate from being a baby and become...a man" said Lorimer dramatically as he punched the air
"A bwan" said Junior imitating Lorimer
"You'll see the greatness of animated cartoons!"
"Ooons!"
"I like your style...to the kitchen!" Said Lorimer cheerfully, but he didn't get a reply from Junior this time
Lorimer made his way to the kitchen with Junior in hand; wanting to get some snacks for the show. When he made it, he heard his sister's voice
"Can you sneak your mom's vodka? Yes, she does. I saw it in your laundry room." Said Summer as she spoke on the phone while grabbing a box of crackers "Listen, you can't both be in denial about it. Okay, bye."
"Hey, Summer? Me and Junior are having a cartoon marathon on the couch so don't disturb us with your party" said Lorimer calmly
"Summer! You can't throw a party! Remember what Mom said?" Said Morty as he entered the kitchen "and Lorimer, you can't just have a baby watch a marathon of cartoons! You'll liquidify his brain!"
"Don't worry, I'll put him in bed after one show"
"*sigh* Summer-"
"Yeah, if anything gets messed up, you and grandpa Rick get punished. I'm only a human being, Morty." Said Summer nonchalantly "Lorimer won't get punished because he's 'mommy's boy'" she said in disgust
"I can take pride in that" deadpanned Lorimer
"Rick, tell Summer she can't have a party." Demanded Morty
"Uh, Summer, you can't have a party" said Rick calmly as he put a tray of canapes on a bench, causing Summer to groan "because *burp* I'm having a party b-i-i-itch *burp*"
"Oh, what? Rick, you can't!" Pleaded Morty
"Look, i don't care as long as my marathon is uninterrupted. If one of your guests messes something up for me while I'm on that couch, the party's off" threatened Lorimer as he glared at Rick and Summer "got it, peons?"
Everyone gave Lorimer odd looks causing him to sigh "i just wanted to say the word once"
"You're not in charge here, Grandpa Rick is" said Summer angrily
"Yes, but i have explicit permission by mom to watch stuff with Junior and you don't have permission to throw a party." Said Lorimer with a smug smirk "Plus, I'm the one she trusts most; i can, at any moment, call her and she'd believe me regardless of whether you've cleaned up or not"
"Ugh what do you have to be such a jerk? You can just do it in your room!" Said Summer angrily
"Because it's my sworn duty as your brother to rain on your parade whenever possible" said Lorimer as he grabbed a bag of pistachios from a cabinet "so please stop acting like your name. Summer is my least favorite season of the year"
"Why? Because i spread fun and sunshine for everyone?"
"No, because you bring in mosquitoes." Deadpanned Lorimer as he walked out of the kitchen "me and Junior will be wearing headphones, so do not disturb"
And thus the party started...and it was chaotic. Not that Lorimer cared since Rick and Summer told everyone to not mess with the guy on the couch. It wasn't that they feared Lorimer, it's that they didn't want him to tell Beth.
But everything was going fine...to an extent...until
"Oh, we're out of snacks" said Lorimer as he held an empty bowl of pistachios "we must find more" he said as he put the computer he was watching stuff on away.
As soon as Lorimer stood up, he had to use the bowl as a shield. "He stood up!"
"What the hell!" Yelled Lorimer angrily as he held Junior "I'm shutting this par-"
"Oh, no you don't" said Summer with a smug smile as she approached Lorimer "remember what you said. We can't mess with you...AS LONG AS YOU'RE ON THAT COUCH!"
"...really?" Lorimer raised a brow
"Yup, and we organized a little game around it" said Summer with a smirk
"I can still shut this party down with zero repercussions; you know that, right?"
"Then you might want to meet our alien buds" said Summer as she gestured towards some aliens
"You little-" in front of Lorimers was a bunch of short biopedal dog aliens on different shapes and sizes, there were men, women and children "you overestimate my conscience. I'm not above murder"
"And tear these adorable families apart?"
"I'm a star wars fan. I wouldn't just kill the men, but the women and children too" said Lorimer with a deep frown "the younglings get to die by lightsaber"
"In front of all these people?"
"Bold of you to assume they'll live to tell the tale" deadpanned Lorimer
"Okay, screw it! I'll give you this comic book your were looking for online if you stay quiet and not tell mom and dad about the party" said Summer
"And a lot of snacks from the kitchen" added Lorimer
"Deal"
"Deee!" Repeated Junior
"Good, also keep the dog people away from me" said Lorimer as he sat back down
"Yeah yeah, whatever" said Summer before coldly shooing the dog aliens away
And with that, Lorimer sat back on the couch.
Everything was cool.
Everything was NOT COOL
Abradolph Lincoler (the name says it all) entered the party and started a fight
Then Junior drooled on some tiny alien. That alien threw something at Lorimer out of anger and it hit another tiny alien which somehow reignited a 1000 year old war...the war was currently happening in the kitchen with cooking utensils as weapons.
The house was in another dimension and there were aliens that broke into his room and were high on his drugs...rude.
"Okay, get out of my room" demanded Lorimer angrily
"*gasp* it's the sheep weeper!"
"No! Don't cry! We can't have sheep running around!"
"Did you two seriously take all my stuff at the same time?" Asked Lorimer before one of the aliens began rowing his way on Lorimer's desk "get off my desk! That's genuine Italian maple! I need it for future references!"
The alien didn't reply, causing Lorimer to snap his fingers, filling the room with an unknown gas.
The two aliens immediately snapped back into reality and got nervous the moment they saw the angry Lorimer
"Oh we're just gonna-"
"There's something i once heard that i really liked the meaning of" said Lorimer angrily "a soul and a soul"
"Don't you mean 'a soul for a soul'?"
"No" said Lorimer before simply killing both of the aliens in cold blood, taking their brains and blood for experiments
Junior had his eyes covered by the house as Lorimer decided to shut this party down
"All right, everybody, party is officially over! Rick, take us home now." Yelled Morty angrily
"All right, all right, fine, Morty, you party pooper buzzkill! Boo, boo! Morty sucks!" Replied Rick
Lorimer made it downstairs as Morty was getting booed at by everyone just because he wanted the party over.
"I'm with Morty" said Lorimer as he crossed his arms "get us home or else-"
"Boo you-" someone was booing Lorimer before he shot them with his DNA gun, turning them into a large weremantis
"Every 15 seconds Rick isn't trying to bring us home you can kill someone here and if they try anything funny, kill them" said Lorimer coldly "the only ones you aren't allowed to kill are me, him, him, her and this baby" he pointed at Morty, Rick, Summer and Junior
At first, someone tried to fight it... the fight ended before the 15 seconds in one slash. This prompted everyone to beg Rick to send them back
Rick sighed and began working, causing the 15 second counter to reset and eventually got everyone back to earth.
"You're the worst" said Rick with a frown "you even soberized me"
"Aliens got high on my genuine Italian maple desk!" Countered Lorimer angrily
"Is that another ambiguous reference?" Asked Rick raising a brow
"Finally got one out of that desk." Replied Lorimer proudly
"Next time i party, I'm just gonna focus on getting totally wrecked" said Summer as she entered the room before turning to Rick "you're so wise"
"You know it" replied Rickl
"Intelligence and wisdom are different stats, Summer" commented Lorimer "well, I'm gonna go get some juice"
As Lorimer made his way to the kitchen, he saw Birdperson and the traitor girl he couldn't remember the name of leave the house and fly away together
"Not gonna question it" deadpanned Lorimer as continued walking to the kitchen. He poured a cup of strawberry juice and headed back to the living room where he heard Rick speaking
"All right that should do it"
"Whoa! What did you do?" Asked Morty in confusion
"Uh, s-see for yourself" replied Rick
Rick froze everything in time
"For how long?" Asked Morty
"I don't know. How long do you guys want? A week? A month?"
This is gonna be a very very very long day...get it? Cause time stopped? Okay, I'll shut up now.