"Geez, I can't believe we found a version of Earth with a Ball Fondlers movie franchise."
"I can't believe the things this reality considers PG-13" added Summer as she walked out of a cinema with Rick, Lorimer and Summer.
"And I can't believe you forced me to sit and watch a movie called 'Ball Fondlers'" said Lorimer still in shock at what he saw. "This will stain my mind for a long time."
"There are pros and cons to every reality" said Rick cheerfully as the family entered Rick's ship "fun facts about this one; it's got giant telepathic spiders, and-"
"Unless it's a large lake of holy bleach that can cleanse my soul of whatever hellspawn movie i just watched, i don't care." Said Lorimer staring into the distance. "I just wanna go home."
"Geez, was it that bad?" Asked Morty raising a brow.
"Yes." Deadpanned Lorimer.
"Is your current persona being annoying? Cause you are nailing it." Said Summer with a frown.
Lorimer calmly turned to her and pulled out a flower from his pocket before aiming it at Summer. It was a flower with some silencing pollen and Summer knew that.
"Okay okay, I'm sorry!" Said Summer in a panic upon seeing the flower
Lorimer slowly lowered the flower and put it back in his pocket.
"Petty b-"
Summer couldn't finish the sentence before silencing pollen was all up in her face. Now unable to speak, Summer could only glare at Lorimer as she sat in the ship.
Rick stared at this scene and sighed. "Okay, who wants the best ice cream in the multiverse to cool down all of...this?" He asked as he gestured towards everyone.
Summer nodded vigorously and Morty cheered while Lorimer gave a thumbs up.
"We're gonna go get some ice-cream motherfuckers!" Rick yelled cheerfully as he tried to turn on the car only for it to not work. "Oh, great."
"Oh boy. W-what's wrong Rick, is it the quantum carburettor or something?" Asked Morty curiously.
"Quantum carburettor? Jesus Morty; you can't just add a sci fi word to a car word and hope it means something." Said
"Yeah, i think a better name would be 'the carburinator'" Said Lorimer with a nod.
"Is that a reference?" Asked Rick raising a brow as he got out of the car to inspect it.
"To the only scientist i respect, Dr. Heinz. D." Replied Lorimer as he daydreamt of the greatest scientist known to man.
"Who?"
"Trust me, he's the greatest scientist i know."
Rick gave Lorimer a dirty glance at Lorimer before turning to the car. "Huh, it looks like something's wrong with the microverse battery. We're going to have to go inside."
"Uhm, go inside what?" Asked Morty in confusion.
"The battery, Morty. Be right back, Summer; stay put, don't touch any buttons, and ignore all random thoughts that feel...spidery." Said Rick calmly.
"What?! I never agreed to coming with you!" Lorimer protested with a frown
"I respect your opinion as much as you respect me as a scientist." Said Rick with a deep frown before turning to Summer who panicking as she tried to get Rick's attention. "You'll be fine, Summer. Ship, keep Summer safe...also, look for any mention of a scientist called Dr. Hienz. D that likes to put -inator at the end of his inventions, be it real or fictional."
"Why are you looking for-"
"Keep Summer safe. Look for a Dr. Hienz D." The car interrupted Lorimer before Rick spoke.
"I'm just gonna have a nice long chat with him." He said with malicious intent.
Lorimer couldn't say another word, Rick had them immediately go inside the battery.
"Oh man. Where are we, Rick?" Asked Morty in confusion.
"Morty, remember eight seconds ago when *burp* when you said, 'Go inside what?' And I said, 'The battery'?" Said Rick mockingly. "And then we showed up here, and I wasn't like, 'Whoa, this is unexpected.' This is not what I was expecting, Morty. What a perplexing mystery this is."
"It's been only 8 seconds?!"
"Fifteen, but that's how time works and I guess I'm the only one keeping track of it now." Replied Rick rolling his eyes.
"Alright, alright. You don't have to bust our balls." Complained Morty.
"For once, he's right. You've been extra Rick the past...minute and a half" Added Lorimer crossing his arms.
"Whatever." Rick said calmly as he rolled his eyes. "Let's check... huh, this isn't right. This pipe's supposed to be sending 20 terawatts of juice up to the engine."
"I'm guessing that's not the case right now?"
"Damn right! What are those people doing?!" exclaimed Rick angrily.
Unlike Morty, Lorimer knew what this meant. This episode was the source of a meme that he desperately needed to use.
"W-w-whoa, people?"
"It's time for some hands on engine repair. Alright, you two, hold on to something." Said Rick before the vessel they rode sped up to astronomical speeds before making it to a planet inside the battery.
Rick turned to the two with a smug smile that fell upon Lorimer speaking.
"I'm not surprised." He deadpanned with a shrug, trying to mess with his grandpa.
"He put a planet in a car battery!"
"Yeah, can your Dr. Hienz do this?!" Exclaimed Rick angrily as he gestured towards the planet
Lorimer paused and stared at Rick before asking:
"Are you insecure about another scientist being favored by your family over you? Possibly because he exists in another universe regardless of whether he's fictional or not in ours."
"...no. *cough* *cough* Anyway, I'm pretty proud of this bad boy. Check it out." Said Rick as he showed his grandkids holograms of what he did to that planet. "I put a spatially tessellated void inside a modified temporal field until a planet developed intelligent life. I then introduced that life to the wonders of electricity, which they now generate on a global scale. And, you know, some of it goes to power my engine and charge my phone and stuff."
Morty was speechless at Rick's achievement...and not in a good way.
"You have a whole planet sitting around making your power for you? That's slavery!" Exclaimed Morty angrily.
'Wait, it's coming. Time to record this.' Lorimer thought as he pulled out his phone to record the approaching meme.
"It's society. They work for each other, Morty. They pay each other. They buy houses. They get married and make children that replace them when they get too old to make power."
"That just sounds like slavery with extra steps!" Exclaimed Morty angrily. "Lorimer! Can you believe- are you recording this?"
Lorimer, who wasn't paying attention save for the slavery with extra steps and was currently holding his phone up, didn't have much of a comeback for this question.
"Uhh, yeah! Can't you..uhh...i don't know, make a perpetual motion machine or something?" Said Lorimer with an awkward smile as he put his phone back in his pocket.
"Because that's boring." Said Rick rolling his eyes. "Everyone wants to do 'perpetual motion' for infinite power. I made a f*king universe!"
"You need to tell these people they're in a battery, Rick. It's messed up." Said Morty as he saw the civilization Rick made through the window. "There's caterers down there. Th-they're setting up chafing dishes."
"Would you relax, Morty? There's nothing dishonest about what we're doing." Said Rick calmly before handing his grandkids some toy antennae "Now both of you slap on these antennae. These people need to think we're aliens."
Lorimer knew what was about to come and decided to keep it out of mind. He put on the antennae and ignored whatever Morty was trying say before leaving the vessel.
Cheers were all heard all over from the green skinned aliens, so much so that it started bothering Lorimer.
Not to mention the words that flared his memories of the movie "Ball Fondlers."
Oh how lucky is this narrator to not have seen such a vile thing, don't you agree? Unless you're into that, dear reader...you creep.
Regardless of your dirty fantasies, the group soon met up with the President and after a short greeting, Rick asked about the problem.
"Uh, Mr. President, um, couldn't help but notice that you were having problems generating power."
"That's correct." Replied the President with a chuckle. "We've evolved. Our most brilliant scientist, Zeep Xanflorp, has developed a source of energy that makes gooble boxes obsolete."
Rick strained a smile and spoke. "I would love to see it."
"F*k you." Replied the President cheerfully.
"What did you say to me?!" Snapped Rick.
"'Fuck you.' Y-you told me it means 'much obliged'." Said the President in fear.
Lorimer then decided to step in for no reason other than boredom to smoothen things out. "I apologize, we visited a planet where it was a very bad thing to say. We just haven't cooled off yet and it would be nice if you refrain from using it."
"*gasp* i can't believe what vile creatures who use such wonderful and peaceful language for such horrid meanings!" Exclaimed the President angrily.
"Yes, very vile." Said Lorimer sending Rick a side glance.
The President nodded and took them to this new scientist and Lorimer could only ignore the burning glare that Rick was giving him.