This precious occasion come to everyone life as we celebrate this day as birthday. Each year we get wishes for long and lasting life. We are not born with our choice but I heard our soul has to sign the contract before we are born in our family. I believe I have made this choice. That' make my life very interesting. My parents are very spiritual due to which I am born spiritual. I came to know about it in 4th grade. But till then I was a normal child. When I was born I was given a beautiful name which means satisfaction but actually my personality is totally opposite. 11 months after my birth I was given to my aunt which is my mother's younger sister so that my maternal family can take care of myself as my mother had to give birth to another child. I was separated from my mother she fed me only for 11 months. I was brought by my relatives and my present character is the result of that. I remember things I was experiencing as a child. The fears i was surrounded by and the love and affection i was learning were not normal. They might be different if I was living with my own mother. My maternal family loved me and took care of my self till I was four. I had my grandpa, grandma, three young uncles and two young aunt. They used to fed me sweet curd and baked biscuits playing with cats and other domestic animals. I remember a moment when my milk bottle was stolen by a cat that day I started using glass for drinking milk. I had the habit of suck my thumb I think this is common in all the infants. We all had the maternal families in Village which makes our experience very unique. Milk and butter, streets and that vendor, playing with anyone because of our innocence is what i never forget. My aunt who took care of me for some years was very special to me. Her touch and hugs made me heal from any wound. She used to stitch frocks for me and praise me whole day describing how innocent and obedient I was . These things are innocent sides of this world but the main part which really shocked me were the children living around us. They were little elder than me and the games were very strange which were out of my syllabus. I wish I never experienced them. They used to show me the things i never expected to. I think you already guessed what I mean. That is the saddest part of reality. From childhood I was very weak physically but mentally I was very strong. My father stressed due to my condition. Every year I used to have fever of 108 degrees till now this happened. My body is very weak after such a high fever. My father used to think that they didn't fed me properly due to which I face this issue. He took me to our house nearly after 4 years. I was very pale and weak girl attached with my aunt. My aunt married my father's brother so that she can stay with me. But God wanted something else. My uncle is in army and his family used to move from one place to other. Me and my aunt decided to live together but my uncle took her with himself. Here I took admission in school for my primary studies. Now my life took a total change. I got distracted due to my schooling. I used to go to my aunt and enjoy with her. But due to schooling and arguments between my aunt and my father stopped me from meeting her. I used to miss my maternal family. That was the day the things started collecting inside me. I controlled my affection and love for close ones. I missed the touch that made me physically weak and added fears to my mind. I never wanted to hug my real mother and father because they seperated me from my aunt. She used to call me but from inside i was so quiet that my words started vanishing. I was very active child but these separations made me torn. Here in school I had my best friend. I was very close to her. I used to trust her and wanted to have her for entire life. She left me the day i invited her to my home. She gave me list of excuses to leave me. I was in 4th grade such a young age how can I child be so discriminating. Main reason for leaving my company was money and poor housing. She said I had no such assets which can be enough for being her friend. I literally was chasing her for few days so that she can be my friend. After that grade I stopped being so active and talkative in school. I don't know why those people were so close to me that there separation made me so quiet. My father sat me with that day and taught me about that supreme power which a human being holds inside her. He taught about the truths of world the illusion a human being lives in. How can I human being betrayed by other humans causing her intense pain and heart break. Every girl had the heartbreak from a male friend but my life is different I had my first break up with my female friend. The day she left me i decided never to be close to any girl. The pain of separation from my aunt and that girl forced my mind to stay away from females. I tried making female friends but never found any deep connection. I don't hate females but I am afraid from separating with them. If I was normally grown up may be today i never get the opportunity to write here. These experiences don't make sad anymore but carved a wound inside me of erased memories poping up sometimes when mind get triggered. I had become the personality which has her own world where she talks cries and breaths. The world I met was not fit for me. It's right we need to be strong to fit in this world.
You can't imagine what actually I became after 4th grade. This was the type of black hole or the dimension i entered. The realities i observed and the energies i experienced. I never expected that I normal girl like me had that particular time frame of entering other dimension. When we start hating one category we are automatically attracted to others. That's what I experienced. I had best male friend at that time who was my classmate. He became the one for whom I started studying hard. As I was facing intense and harsh behaviour at my family. So I decided to have something where I can have my own space and enjoyment so he became that. I started making him special for me. His actions make me remember the love and affection i experienced in those years living with my aunt. I got one particular pattern repeating every time I get close to someone. That was imagining that one particular person in my life and only having him or her. May be that was the way of escaping from the pain which I was going through. I started focusing of him and forgot her. Simultaneously i remembered my aunt. Basically I had three people going inside my mind. I was trying to have one of them to have love. But I never had such talks which can guarantee they can be mine. I started making believes that if I want to protect myself I need to imagine them only in mind and stay away from them in real life. I believe that can prevent me from future heart breaks but you know that's makes a human being more emotionally drained as you just wanted few close ones near you. I never get bullied by others but I was facing the bulliness from nature. That' what i mentioned earlier that our soul signs a contract before choosing their life and may be I choose this life to find the one whom I can love unconditionally without loosing him. And in this chaotic world it's very hard to find love. You might be thinking may be 2 of them be still there to live me but that's not true as destiny planned something else which you can never imagine it's just the beginning of a chapter. There's a whole book remaining to know what world i exactly entered and met what wounds they gave me and what exactly they made me. I am very excited to share you how and what dimension i entered. What forces and energies are responsible for this. And may be that can help you explore your own life secrets and realities. I believe whosoever comes in my contact started experiencing the life realities and started to know who exactly is right for you and may be you can end living alone as that's the destiny or may be you started finding the love of your life or may the end reality why all we born to this world. Many more truths are buried in our pasts we just need to dug them so that we can find why exactly we signed that contract choose this life as our destiney. Let's meet in other chapter which will open to the new chapter where I entered the other dimension which we never expected.