When the Princess was thrown out of the Imperial Tutor's study with her clothes in disarray for the seventy-seventh time, she clung to the doorframe, screaming as if her heart had been torn out: "Tutor! Don't shut yourself away! I will find you the best medicine! Right now! You must believe that you are the best!"
Turning around to face a crowd of servants bearing various expressions, the Princess sighed a mournful sigh, covered her face, and trotted away, emitting sounds of extreme, "suppressed" sobbing as she ran.
The Princess was pregnant, yet the Imperial Tutor's "disease" in a certain aspect was known to everyone.
"The Imperial Tutor's hat sits quite steady. A small head does have its advantages," the crowd remarked.
The reason the crowd was so calm was that the story between the Princess and the Imperial Tutor played out every single day, broadcast live.
This explosive, yet slightly shameful story began a month ago.
* * *
The Princess fell in love with the exquisitely cold Imperial Tutor, but the Imperial Tutor refused to even cast a single glance her way.
Heartbroken, the Princess threw herself into a lake at the engagement banquet of the Imperial Tutor and her own younger sister.
* * *
How did this matter involve me?
Allow me a brief self-introduction.
Useless at everything, number one at trapping men.
A failure at all tasks, except for courting disaster, cheating, and making love.
So handsome that people want to hack me to death—I am Xiao Xiao.
As one of the most outstanding bodyguards of the 21st century, I truly never expected that one day I too would catch the trend and squeeze my way into the jam-packed army of transmigrators.
Whatever. I had lived enough days of constant anxiety. I considered it a long vacation for myself. After all, I was a Princess—I wouldn't lack food or drink, and my enjoyment would be endless.
Reality, however, slapped me hard in the face. The original owner of this body was a true display of "beautiful, weak, and miserable." Father didn't love her, mother was gone; she possessed only the empty title of Princess, acting as the lowest level of shrimp in this man-eating imperial harem.
The original owner's younger siblings—the Crown Prince and the Third Princess—were twins born of the Empress. They frequently oppressed their elder sister in various ways.
Not to mention that this original owner had happened to fall in love with Nanyue's youngest, most accomplished, most aloof, and most peerlessly handsome young Imperial Tutor, Shen Jue.
Who was Shen Jue? He was the dream lover of countless sheltered young women. The line of people chasing him could stretch to French red wine, and then all the way to Native American speckled doves. Loving him—wasn't that just courting death?
Sure enough, the Eldest Princess "became" sick with longing, supposedly slipped and fell into the water, and breathed her last.
The day I transmigrated over, it coincidentally happened right after the real Eldest Princess breathed her last.
When the old Emperor arrived, I performed a fierce carp-jump, hid behind the bed curtains, and put on a show of a madwoman.
"Zishu, what happened to you?" The Empress looked at me with a face full of heartache.
I was yelling deliriously, "Help! Don't kill me! Don't kill me... I don't know anything! I don't know anything..."
The Emperor's old face instantly wrinkled. He said in a low voice, "How do you manage the harem? Looking at Zishu's state, she was clearly pushed into the water. Investigate this immediately!"
The Empress didn't dare breathe loudly, only able to murmur her assent.
The Emperor glared at her with some disgust, then turned to face me, his expression rather impatient. "Have the imperial physicians treat her properly. She was already foolish and slow; don't let water in her brain make her even more stupid..."
"Ah—" I let out a shrill howl: "Shen Jue! Don't come closer—"
The Emperor's action, just as he was about to lift his foot to leave, instantly stiffened. He turned his head straight back.
"Who did she just call out?"
I smiled a smug, light smile in my heart. Shen Jue, the Crown Prince, the Third Princess... you murdered the original owner, forcing me to come to this godforsaken place to act crazy. Hmph. Just wait for this lord to play you all to death.
Not a single one of you will escape.
* * *
The next day.
"What did you say?" The Emperor, the Crown Prince, and the Empress all cried out in unison.
"Yes, it is true..." I looked through tear-filled eyes at the calm, composed silhouette behind the folding screen, continuing my shocking act. "That night, Imperial Tutor Shen... to your daughter... Imperial Tutor Shen to your daughter... I do not wish to live anymore, sob ah sob..."
The old momo beside the Empress walked in. While crying, I eagerly rolled up my sleeves. The two momos stared at my smooth arms, their eyes going straight. Dumbfounded, they fled as if escaping to report to the people outside.
The virginity mark... was gone.
That's right, I rubbed it off myself.
I heard a chorus of sharp intakes of breath.
Nice. This was exactly the reaction I wanted.
Yet Shen Jue remained completely silent from beginning to end. Was he truly this cold and detached?
I didn't believe it. (stone-faced)
Adding more fuel to the fire, I continued in a low voice: "Ever since that night... after accidentally falling into the water that night... your daughter's... monthly courses... my courses have not come... I do not know if..."
The expressions of the people outside must have been spectacular. It was a pity I couldn't see them. I cupped my chin in boredom, scrutinizing Shen Jue.
Shen Jue was worthy of being the number one beautiful youth. Just from his tall, jade-like silhouette, one could glimpse his extraordinary demeanor and otherworldly aura. It was just heart-scratching that I couldn't see his face.
"Shen Jue, how insolent!" The old Emperor slammed his hand on the table and stood up, but first suffered a violent fit of coughing.
The crowd nervously checked on the old Emperor. Only Shen Jue stood up unhurriedly, even mouthing a word toward me.
What was it? I couldn't see clearly through the screen. Was he cursing me? I snickered softly for a moment.
Cold Imperial Tutor? Tsk tsk, hasn't his facade broken?
Very quickly, I couldn't smile anymore.
"Your Majesty, this subject requests to marry the Eldest Princess. I hope Your Majesty will grant this." Shen Jue knelt straight down, his words earnest and resounding.
My eyes widened. I'm doomed. I'm doomed. I played myself.
The old Emperor utilized his usual expertise at cleaning up messes and quickly set the date for our wedding.
It was exactly three days away.
Truly ruthless. Not leaving the slightest room for maneuvering.
Wasn't Xiao Zishu at least a princess? And the Eldest Princess at that? A grand wedding for the Eldest Princess, and there wasn't even any exchanging of names, selecting auspicious dates, or casting divinations? What about the marriage between the Imperial Tutor and the Third Princess? Didn't breaking an engagement take time?
Fanning myself, I spun around like an ant on a hot pan, beginning to feel regret. Why had I provoked Shen Jue? People said he possessed a heart with nine orifices, two more than me. And he didn't even care about his life. He was crazy too.
Rumor outside had it that the Imperial Tutor and the Crown Prince did not have a good relationship. The Crown Prince desired to bring the Imperial Tutor to his side, going so far as to matchmake his own sister with him. The Imperial Tutor avoided them like the plague. By agreeing to marry an unfavored Eldest Princess like me now, he was entirely using me as a meat shield.
The Xiao siblings would absolutely not let me, this thorn in their side, off the hook.
Before I could devise a countermeasure, trouble arrived.
The current Crown Prince Xiao Huaimo's full sister, Xiao Zizhao, the Third Princess, was precisely Shen Jue's unwed wife.
Upon hearing the news, she reportedly cried and made a fuss for an entire night without stopping. And today, unexpectedly, she came looking for me early in the morning. She was definitely here to pick a fight. Could I see her?