"Of course, no problem."
"Can you tell me more about my mother? Many letters are missing."
"Hmm..." She thought for a moment. "Let me remember first." After about fifteen minutes, she started telling me more about my mother, most of which resembled the contents of the letters. I listened attentively.
"That's all."
"Thank you," I nodded and bowed slightly. "Sorry, I have to go."
I turned to look for Dan. He was sitting on a swing with his twin sibling, facing our direction. Dan frowned at me but then smiled. I walked toward him, and he immediately stood up.
"How do you feel?"
I was silent for a moment before admitting, "My head hurts."
"Ah... do you want to rest?"
"Yes."
"Nao, may I use the guest room?"
"Of course."
Dan let go of his twin's hand and guided me into the house. I looked at our intertwined hands before glancing at Dan, who looked worried.
"Dan, the letters."
"Oh," Dan remembered and led me back to the table. We returned the letters and photos to the box. Then, Dan guided me to a room on the ground floor. I examined the room. "Wait a moment, I'll get some medicine."
"Alright." Dan returned with medicine, water, and a book. I took the medicine with water and lay down. Dan covered me with a blanket.
"Dan, can you stay?"
"Of course. I was already planning to stay with you." Dan sat on the bed, leaning against the headboard, stroking my head. I didn't understand why, but it made me feel comfortable.
"Dan, will you read while I sleep?"
"Yes."
"Dan."
"Yeah?"
"I can't sleep."
"Once the medicine takes effect, you'll feel drowsy."
"I can't stop thinking about so many things."
"Thinking about what?"
"About my mother," I admitted. "I keep thinking about her."
"I understand," Dan replied, waiting. I lay on my side, facing Dan, then rested my head on his lap.
"Dan."
"Yeah?"
"Can I hold your hand?"
"Of course." Dan extended his hand.
"I want to tell you everything about myself. Dan, will you listen?"
"Of course. I want to listen."
─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───
"Why are you home so late?" A deep voice echoed around the dining table. The girl flinched, her heart pounding. She gripped her fork and knife tightly, answering nervously.
"I... was studying with my friends."
"Lies," her mother shouted. "The driver saw you with a boy."
"...he's my friend."
"Friend? Who do you think you're fooling? Were you going to school or finding a husband?" her mother yelled. Jane lowered her head, staring at her plate. She didn't dare look at her parents. They were strict about everything, even the smallest things. They forbade her from interacting with boys, going out, coming home late, wearing makeup, or changing her hairstyle. "Who will take care of you if you get pregnant? You? I don't think so."
"Sorry," the twelve-year-old girl held back her tears.
"Did you sleep with that friend?" her father asked sarcastically.
"I have never slept with anyone," Jane said through gritted teeth. She felt hurt and sad because of her parents' words. They were always like that, and if Jane dared to talk back, they would punish her by locking her in the dark, damp basement.
The conversation at the dinner table was uncomfortable for Jane. As a result, she was sent to an all-girls boarding school. Jane felt relieved to be away from them. But when she arrived, she found herself isolated from her peers. Her father donated a lot of money to the school and asked the teachers to keep an eye on her. Strict supervision didn't only happen at home but also at school—she was always being watched. Jane never had friends, not as a child nor as a teenager.
She felt lonely and longed for love and attention. Jane attended the university chosen by her parents. Although she moved into a dormitory, she still had no friends. She became nervous when talking to others, not knowing what to say or how to act, creating awkward situations. She was afraid of socializing.
One day, Jane found a magazine in a store. The cover caught her attention, and she bought it. The last page contained an address for pen pals. Jane was intrigued. Could she have a pen pal?
She searched for a name. She wanted someone who could understand her and chose a girl her age named Mew, who was looking for a casual friendship. She wrote a letter enthusiastically, rewriting it multiple times. It took her hours to finally send it. She anxiously waited for a reply and jumped in excitement when she received a letter from Mew.
They became pen pals. It meant so much to Jane, who had never had anyone to talk to about everything. She didn't know if it was important to Mew, but for Jane, Mew meant a lot. Jane later met a teaching assistant named Ayden from Scotland. Ayden spoke Thai fluently and noticed that Jane was always alone. He tried to get to know her. At first, Jane was hesitant, but then she became impressed and slowly fell in love.
Jane wrote about Ayden in her letters, constantly thinking about him. It was the first time she had felt something like this—finding someone who understood and loved her. Ayden made her feel important. She couldn't control her feelings for him; she loved him deeply. Jane brought Ayden home, hoping her parents would understand. But they opposed it. Jane tried to explain, but her father became furious and hit her, demanding that she break up with Ayden.
"I understand," Jane said through gritted teeth after falling from the slap. Ayden helped her up. "My parents have never loved me. It's better to cut ties. Having parents like them is the same as not having parents at all. Every day at home is a prison. They only give me money, never care or say kind words—only sarcasm and scolding. Have they ever seen me as their child?"
Jane screamed back, and her parents tried to hit her, but Ayden stopped them.
"Haven't you hit me enough my whole life, and now this? Don't call yourselves my parents. Enough! We're done!" Jane cut ties with her parents and left with Ayden, never looking back.
In Ayden's embrace, Jane said, "Don't leave me, Ayden. Don't leave me."
"I promise."
"If I ever have a child, I will love and care for them. I will never be like them."
Ayden kissed her head. "I know you will. I know, my brave girl."
"I love you, Ayden."
"I love you too."
Not long after, Ayden returned to Scotland and asked Jane to come with him. Jane agreed and wrote to Mew, telling her she would be moving. She dreamed of a new life and family in another country. When she moved, everything became chaotic. She lost the notebook containing Mew's address. Jane was sad, but she hoped Mew wouldn't be mad and that they could talk again someday.
Everything went as she had dreamed. Jane worked in a shop, and Ayden in a company. They got married without any family present. Jane was curious about Ayden's family, but she never asked until Ayden's father came to their house. A drunken man in his fifties entered, breaking things, accusing Ayden and his mother of abandoning him, leaving him alone and drowning in debt. Ayden and his father argued and fought. Jane was terrified, but the neighbors came to intervene.
There was a trial, and Ayden's father was prohibited from approaching them. Ayden admitted that his father had always been abusive, beating his mother and him, which led his mother to run away. His father was imprisoned for drug-related charges, and this was the first time Jane had seen him.
Before leaving, his father said, "He's just as bad as me. Be careful, Miss. Don't be fooled by his handsome face. I spent years in prison because of him."
Ayden said his father was crazy. Jane agreed and forgot about the incident because Ayden was a good husband. Their life went smoothly, but Jane discovered she had difficulty getting pregnant. Ayden faced problems at work, and they decided to return to Thailand. Jane supported her husband. They built a large house on a hill for privacy. Jane loved the place and felt happy when she finally became pregnant.
Jane sat on a rocking chair, looking at the rose garden she had planted with the gardener. She listened to soft music while caressing her belly. Suddenly, she heard a commotion and saw her husband rushing down the stairs.
"Where are you going in such a hurry? Be careful on the stairs!"
Ayden didn't answer, looking rushed.
"Do you have to work even on your day off?"
"It's urgent work."
"Drive carefully..." Jane said softly as her husband was already outside. She thought her pregnancy would make Ayden spend more time with her, but his work became even more demanding. She didn't mind much because it was all for the family. With a baby on the way, expenses would increase, and Ayden had to work harder.
At dinner, Ayden said, "Jane,"
"What is it?"
"Do you want to quit your job?"
"Why?"
"Your job doesn't pay much. It's better if you quit and focus on taking care of yourself. When the baby is born, you can take care of them."
"So you want me to be a housewife?"
"Yes."
"Alright." Jane agreed without much thought, believing that staying home and taking care of her child would be better. "Won't that burden you? You look exhausted."
Ayden sighed in frustration. "You can't help me with that."
"Sorry."
"Sorry, I'm just stressed. I'll go upstairs."
Jane watched Ayden go up to his study. He really did look stressed. Jane didn't know much about his job, only that he worked for a private company and that they had to return to Thailand for it. When Jane asked, Ayden always avoided explaining, so Jane stopped pressing.
Over time, Ayden became more irritable, often speaking in a raised voice. It seemed that work stress was affecting the atmosphere at home. Jane tried to stay calm for the baby's sake.
─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───
Ayden wasn't there when Jane gave birth. Jane felt sad, but when she saw her baby crying, all the sadness disappeared. Jane gave a weak smile, exhausted from labor, with tears she couldn't hold back.
"Jayden, my baby."
Not long after, she was able to take her baby home. The driver took her back and forth from the hospital, and the maid took care of her. She didn't see Ayden. When Ayden returned, Jane excitedly introduced their baby. Ayden showed little interest and said he had to work. Jane gave a weak smile, thinking Ayden was only pretending not to care. She rocked her baby in the chair, lost in thought.
'Mew, I have a child like I always dreamed of. I named him Jayden. Do you have a child? You once said you wanted one. It would be nice if our children became friends. Jayden must be younger. Would they get along? I want to write you a letter and share pictures of our children.'
─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───
"What?" Jane raised an eyebrow, confused by what she had just heard. "Why fire them?"
"I don't trust them."
"But they've worked with us for a long time."
"I said I'll fire them!" Ayden shouted. He wanted to fire everyone: the gardener, the driver, the maid. He said he was "protecting" Jane, not wanting anyone to see her.
Jane didn't understand, but she agreed to avoid a fight. When Ayden left, Jane was alone with little Jayden in the mansion. It felt quiet, but Jane didn't feel lonely.
"Come here, sweetheart." Jane clapped gently, waiting for her crawling baby. She picked him up and kissed his belly softly. "You're the cutest."
Jayden grew old enough to start kindergarten, but Ayden refused to send him.
"Why should he go to kindergarten? Teach him at home. Do you want to see our child or see other men?"
"Who would I see? I don't have friends. I'm with the baby all day. He should meet kids his age."
"No!"
"Why do you doubt me? I have never betrayed you or done anything wrong. If you're so suspicious, why don't you take care of our child? You're always busy with work, never spending time with him. Am I asking for too much? You've never even held him!"
"I'm the only one working. Where do you think money comes from? Do you think money falls from the sky?"
"You're the one who asked me to quit my job and be a housewife."
"How much money could you even make? Maybe you want to see other men when I'm not around!"
"You underestimate me too much. Who has more reason to be suspicious? You're never home on holidays, always using work as an excuse. Your office is always closed. Are you really working?" Jane snapped back angrily after holding it in for so long. What she didn't expect was for her husband to slap her.
Jane fell and touched her burning cheek, looking at her husband in shock.
He pointed at Jane. "Don't raise your voice at me." He walked up the stairs. Jane was brought back to reality by Jayden's cries and immediately ran to comfort him.
"Shh, baby, don't cry. It's okay."
The child touched her cheek. Jane smiled while holding back her tears.
"Mommy isn't hurt, Mommy is okay. Daddy is just angry. Mommy is fine."