Act III – Okeanos, The Limited Sea of Final Times.
As a child, I accidentally heard a phrase that I will never forget.
Seductive words that the whole world would be mine gave me a dream. And even though I shook my head, not believing it, an inner voice whispered to me: "The world belongs to those who dream. Be brave, you can do it!"
"Oh, right, that's from another universe!" Deadpool realized.
Pursuing pirates through the jungle, he stealthily reached the opposite side of the island. There, on the shore, stood a whole crowd – apparently, the gang of those very fugitives.
"Enemy!"
As soon as the fugitive pirate called out to his comrades, the bandits, who had just been feasting on meat and drink, grabbed their swords and raised their rifles upon seeing the approaching man in red.
"Mr. Pool! Wait!"
"Wade... I'm about to... pass out..." Ritsuka and Mash, also dressed as pirates, caught up with him, breathing heavily.
"Don't move, scoundrels! You dare to covet our supplies?!"
The pirates surrounded Ritsuka and Mash.
"Grab the boy and the girl! Tie cannonballs to their shoelaces and let them fly!" Deadpool shouted, who had somehow already infiltrated the enemy crowd, pretending to be one of them. The next moment, he met Ritsuka's gaze.
"Hey! Wade! Are you betraying us so basely?!"
As soon as Ritsuka pointed at him, the pirates immediately aimed their blades at Deadpool.
"You traitor! If the captain is in danger, the subordinate must sacrifice himself!"
"That's it, I'm quitting piracy," Wade grumbled.
Ritsuka tore the bandana from his head, ripped off the eyepatch, and threw them on the ground. Mash, without hesitation, followed suit, shedding the ridiculous masquerade.
"You'll all be feeding the sharks!"
However, the arriving reinforcements of the bandits quickly decided the outcome: all three were unceremoniously subdued.
"Sister! We've caught three stray pirates!"
The prisoners were dragged onto the deck of a huge, majestic, and luxuriously old-fashioned sailing ship. As soon as the pirate shouted "Sister!", the captain's cabin door burst open with a bang. A stern woman in a black captain's coat, a wide-brimmed hat, and an eyepatch appeared on the threshold.
"Senpai, there's a strange feeling coming from this woman," Mash whispered.
"Could she be a Servant?"
Their whispering was interrupted by the captain herself. As she descended onto the deck with a menacing look, Ritsuka and Mash involuntarily flinched under her domineering presence.
"So, you're in charge here? Let's make a deal! Let me go, and I'll hand these traitors over to you as slaves!"
"Mr. Pool! You're selling us out?!"
"You quit piracy, but I'm still in business! Don't you know that for a pirate, betrayal is like breakfast?! Ow!"
Deadpool's attempt to justify his egoism was interrupted: a sailor standing behind him, tired of the chatter, hit him on the back of the head with the butt of his pistol.
"Hahaha! You're a funny guy. So, you want to live?" The Sister's booming voice rumbled. "Alright. If you defeat me in combat, I'll spare you. But if you lose, all three of you will be shark food."
Ritsuka hesitated, not knowing what to answer, but understood there was no choice. At that moment, Deadpool jumped to his feet.
"Deal! But if I win, then you, this ship, and your entire crew become my property! Deal?"
Deadpool decided to raise the stakes. The pirates were enraged, ready to kill the impudent fellow on the spot for daring to claim their Sister and vessel.
"Hahaha! I definitely like you! Alright, challenge accepted. But then I'll toughen the conditions too. If I win – three hours of punishment in the ship's hold!"
The life-and-death dispute turned into a crazy gamble. Ritsuka merely sighed regretfully, mentally cursing Wade for always complicating things.
"Well, shall we begin? I hate beating around the bush, so let's settle it all at once!"
"Sister! But if you happen to lose..." the pirates tried to intervene, considering the conditions unfair, but she cut off their grumbling with a strong word.
"Shut up, you idiots! If I lose, then that's my limit! But there's nothing to worry about. I, Francis Drake, have reached the edge of the world and stand before you. What is there to fear!"
Hearing the name Francis Drake, Mash's eyes widened.
"Francis Drake... The famous English privateer, the first person to circumnavigate the globe and survive. Senpai, isn't that the 'Star Pioneer'!"
"Wow, circumnavigation... That's awesome," Ritsuka admired.
Deadpool, unlike them, was busy planning his grand future as a great pirate captain.
"The essence is simple: whoever draws their gun and shoots the opponent faster. Agreed?"
A classic duel, just like in Wild West Westerns.
"It's the right time... Sunset," Wade muttered.
"It's noon, Wade," Mash corrected him.
"I know. This is an adaptation to the local flavor."
Freed from his bonds, Deadpool tucked the musket, taken from the ghost captain, into his belt and stood at the edge of the deck. Drake took up a position opposite him. She handed her extra weapons to her subordinates, leaving only one pistol on her belt.
"We shoot on the count of 'three'."
"Naturally."
The pirates parted, clearing the space. A sinister silence fell on the deck. A cold, salt-laden wind blew from the sea, and a tumbleweed rolled past from nowhere.
"One!" Drake shouted with a confident smirk. Her hand hovered over the grip, her fingers twitching impatiently.
Deadpool, squinting, also froze, his palm trembling slightly near the musket.
"Three!"
Skipping "two," Deadpool instantly drew his weapon and pulled the trigger. He was sure his trick had worked, but...
"Oops."
A neat little hole appeared on his forehead, right between his eyes, and he fell backward.
"Wade... You tried to cheat and still lost."
"No, Senpai. He acted basely, but he didn't technically break the rules. It was said to shoot on 'three'," Mash explained.
Ritsuka just shook his head. How absurd – to invent a trick and get shot in the head himself.
"Listen, I'm a pirate! And if a pirate couldn't see through such a cheap trick, he'd be worthless! I wanted to shout 'three' first, but I decided to give you a chance, haha... Oops!"
It seemed like a clear victory for Drake, but then she winced: a bloody stain was spreading on her shoulder.
The reaction speed was equal. The cause of defeat was only that Deadpool's musket was too old and weak. If they had had identical weapons, the outcome of the fight would have been unpredictable.
"O-o-oh... My head! It seems the bullet got stuck in my brain. Ah, no, I dug it out. Everything's fine, I'm okay!"
Deadpool jumped up as if nothing had happened, poked at the hole in his forehead, and pulled out a flattened lead ball.
"So, a draw?"
The sailors rushed to treat Drake's wound and apply a bandage.
And although Deadpool's wound looked fatal, the condition was to hit, not to die. And both hit the target simultaneously.
"You shoot pretty well. It's clear you've seen a lot of battlefields," Drake praised him.
Deadpool moved closer. The pirates, thinking this "zombie" wanted revenge on their captain, raised their weapons, but she gestured for them to stand down.
"A real pirate. Your name is Drake, right? You have quite... prominent 'buoys'," Wade blurted out.
Drake looked at her chest, barely covered by her coat, with incomprehension, and then, realizing the double meaning, burst into hearty laughter.
"Hahaha! I like you more and more! Listen, do you want to be my partner?"
"Hmm... My services aren't cheap..."
"If we capture a ship, I'll give it to you. And the captaincy too."
Drake clapped Deadpool on the shoulder with a laugh, sealing their sudden "bullet" friendship.
"A ship... A captain..."
Wade's eyes widened, and he sank into dreams of his own vessel.
"Mash, it's starting again," Ritsuka sighed.
"It seems so, Senpai."
Ritsuka didn't even need to guess what was going on in the mercenary's head.
To the majestic chords of Hans Zimmer's "He's a Pirate," an scarlet ship cutting through azure waves, and Deadpool in a flowing cloak, striking a dramatic pose at the bow with Fou on his shoulder, flashed in his imagination.
"Oh! Kid, you imagined that too?!"
"Uh... Not at all!"
"Wow! It seems I've been talking to him for too long, if I'm starting to catch this nonsense!" Ritsuka was frightened by how accurately Wade had caught his thoughts.
"Hey, you two, untie them!" Drake commanded her men. "Since it's a draw, let's forget the previous conditions. Besides, you're not such bad guys after all. Hahaha!"
Where had that menacing captain gone? Now, before them was the life of the party, who was chatting merrily with Deadpool. The pirates also relaxed and decided to continue their interrupted feast.
"Today is a great day! We found an island, we have plenty of food, water, and rum! We have cheerful companions, and on top of that, this Grail is with me! Haha!"
Drake took out a shining golden chalice – the Holy Grail – and poured rum into it.
"Oh, the Grail! And we're hunting for it," Deadpool, already quite drunk, reached for the artifact with a blissful smile.
At that moment, Ritsuka and Mash, also drawn into the general merriment, finally saw what she was holding.
"Eh? Wait a minute..."
"What?!"
"The Grail?! Already?!"
The intoxication instantly evaporated. Deadpool, Ritsuka, and Mash stared at the chalice and simultaneously cried out in surprise.
***
Read the story months ahead of the public release — early chapters are available on my Patreon: Granulan