"Negotiations!" Francis shouted.
"Kiss my ass, Drake," Deadpool retorted.
The atmosphere instantly heated up.
Drake, having foreseen this turn of events, held Ritsuka and Mash tightly as hostages. She offered a deal, but Deadpool still craved revenge for the betrayal.
"Oh, right. You have no idea how we ended up like this, do you? Wait, the remote must be around here somewhere… Ah, here it is. Listen to a brief summary in three sentences. Keep up."
Deadpool pulled a remote from his pants and pressed the rewind button – reality rapidly reversed.
"Fought with the bull-guy. Met the goddess, Euryale, or whatever her name is. Clumsy Jack stole the compass and bolted. I got rid of the shackles. Freedom! And then Francis showed up. Saw me. Took the kid hostage. And here we are! So, did you get it? No? Then just accept it. Go with the flow."
He clicked the remote again, returning the narrative to the present. Drake, without releasing the bound Ritsuka, shouted at Deadpool:
"Hey, red-clad guy! Let's make a deal!"
"And if I refuse?!"
In response, she unhesitatingly drew her pistol and pressed the barrel to Ritsuka's head. Mash, standing a little further away, flinched but immediately froze, biting her lip: any mistake could cost Senpai his life.
"Damn it… What a rotten situation. I can't even get revenge for the setup like this."
Deadpool found himself in a deadlock. He couldn't disrupt the negotiations or make a sudden move – saving Ritsuka without risk was impossible.
"Fuu-uh. Fine. State your terms."
"It's simple. You become my ally again. We forget old grievances and hold no grudges. Then – we take this goddess aboard. And finally – we let these children go. The deal is valid until we find the treasure."
Three conditions. Deadpool frantically thought about how to cover himself so that this woman wouldn't pull any more tricks.
"I have three too. First: no more setups or bait using my body. Second: you are fully responsible for the safety of these youngsters. Third: when we find the treasure, my share is ten percent of the total loot. Those are my terms."
Upon hearing about the ten percent share, Drake's men grumbled discontentedly. Someone among the sailors even suggested killing the hostage and leaving on their own. However, Drake, who seemed to like such audacity, just smiled predatorily and extended her hand.
"Deal!"
"Deal," Deadpool confirmed.
As soon as he touched her palm, he snapped the "Shackles of Retribution" onto their wrists, which Euryale had previously helped him remove.
"What's this?"
"Shackles of Retribution from Davy Jones. Until the terms of the deal are met, we can't go anywhere without each other."
Drake was surprised for a moment, but assessing Deadpool's cunning in turning the situation to his advantage, she only tightened her grip on his hand.
"So, until this thing falls off, we're allies."
"Temporarily."
Exchanging sharp glances, they released their hands, and Drake immediately ordered Ritsuka and Mash to be untied.
"Wade!"
"Mister Pool!"
The kids, who had missed him dearly, rushed to him and hugged him tightly.
"Hey, hey, hey! We haven't been apart for a day. Stop clinging!"
Having somehow detached them from himself, Deadpool still eyed Drake suspiciously. Then he turned to Euryale and Asterius (the Minotaur), who were silently observing the bargaining.
"Well, that's how it is."
Deadpool shrugged, and Euryale, perched on Asterius's shoulder, frowned displeasedly.
"Isn't that a bit too presumptuous? We can't get off this island anyway due to the barrier. Although, since I'm going with you, that's no longer a problem."
"Euryale… Outside… is dangerous… I… will protect Euryale," Asterius boomed.
The goddess just smiled gently and stroked his head affectionately.
"Well then, shall we leave this strange island?"
The "Golden Hind," previously trapped by the barrier, could only sail into the open sea thanks to Asterius's superhuman strength, who pushed the ship away from the coast.
"Haa. I've even gotten used to this place, it's a shame to leave. Though, it was a bit boring without my sister Steino. By the way, why did you need me?"
Euryale cast aside her sentiments and directly asked Drake the reasons for her presence on board.
"There are rumors that only gods can touch the Sage's treasures. I just thought this island was strange, decided to land – and here's the result."
Judging by Euryale's expression, the prospect of being used by an ordinary pirate didn't appeal to her at all.
"If the treasure requires my participation, it must be comparable to the gift of the gods. Omnipotence, or perhaps immortality…"
Euryale tried to probe, guessing the nature of the treasure, but Drake just snorted dismissively.
"I don't care about omnipotence or immortality. Gold, jewels, traps, and the guardians who protect them! That's what I need. Don't worry, when we're done – I'll drop you off wherever you wish."
Realizing that Drake's ambitions were not deceitful, Euryale looked at her with interest. In a way, this woman was unique.
"Captain! Ship on the course! It's the 'Queen Anne's Revenge'!"
As soon as the lookout shouted this, the crew immediately went on combat alert.
"All gun crews: load and await my signal!"
Drake, gripping the helm, didn't change course, steering the ship directly towards Teach's ship.
"The enemy has opened fire! Twenty salvos!"
The "Queen Anne's Revenge," literally stuffed with cannons beyond measure, posed a serious threat even in a frontal assault.
"It's going to explode now!"
Contrary to the lookout's fears, Deadpool and Mash, who had taken positions at the bow of the ship in advance, began to deflect the incoming cannonballs with their blades and shields.
"We're doing well! Hit them like that!"
Dozens of projectiles whistling through the air, Mash intercepted with her shield in a high jump, while Deadpool, with lightning-fast sword swings, changed their trajectory, making them fly past.
"Now it's our turn, you little brats. Fire!"
At Drake's signal, the three bow cannons spewed flames.
The projectiles fired from the "Queen Anne's Revenge" and the "Golden Hind" flew towards each other, describing steep arcs in the sky.
"Three direct hits! But the enemy seems intact."
"Gunners, continue firing on readiness!"
While a duel of approach was unfolding between the ships, Teach's vessel, despite the hits received from Drake, didn't even slow down.
"Oops!"
Mash, desperately deflecting the hail of cannonballs, hesitated for a moment and missed one. The projectile crashed into the port side with a roar.
"Sorry! I just…"
"If you have the strength to apologize, use it to deflect cannonballs!" Drake snapped at the dejected Mash. "If my ship sank from one hit, it would have rotted at the bottom long ago!"
Mash pulled herself together and focused on defense.
"Hey, Son Woo Yeon… I mean, Drake! I have an idea."
Deadpool, who had come up with a plan amidst this chaos, called out to Mash:
"Mash, I'll jump onto the shield, and you throw me at them with all your might. While I'm causing chaos there, you'll prepare for boarding."
Mash hesitated. She had already begun to get used to the role of Demi-Servant and had even learned to use her Noble Phantasm somewhat, but the realization of her own inexperience made her waver.
"You can do it. As my friend's uncle used to say: 'With great power comes no responsibility.' I'm incredibly strong, so I do whatever I want. And you're still weak, so you have a mountain of responsibility."
Mash just raised an eyebrow in confusion, trying to comprehend this nonsense.
"In short! Stop doubting because you're supposedly not 'strong.' You have a sense of duty – you must protect this brat. That's enough."
Although Deadpool's logic remained a mystery, his support gave Mash determination.
"And what's the conclusion? She's weak, or she's responsible for everything?" Euryale, standing under Asterius's protection, commented skeptically on Deadpool's "encouragement."
"Shut up, loli-vampire! Or I'll send you to Araragi!"
Deadpool sprawled on Mash's wide shield. As soon as he gave the signal, the girl concentrated, channeling magical energy.
"Mash, let's go!"
Ritsuka extended his hand with Command Spells, and Mash's magical flow sharply increased. Now all that remained was to push the shield, sending Deadpool flying.
"Five enemy projectiles! Falling directly onto the deck! Beware!"
At that moment, several cannonballs rushed towards where Mash was standing. Asterius managed to intercept one, but the other five were about to turn the girl into a sieve.
"Mash!"
Ritsuka rushed towards her, and at that moment, the Command Spell flashed brightly. Exactly! He instinctively understood that it was time to use the special device created by Da Vinci.
"By the authority of the Command Spell, I, Fujimaru Ritsuka, command! 'Made in Fate'! Emergency summon – Archer!"
As one stroke of the spell disappeared, a tiny portal opened on his wrist. From a golden radiance, a familiar figure materialized, already nocking an arrow.
"Haa. Master, I'd ask you not to summon me in the middle of cooking. Although… responding to a summon is a Servant's duty!"
The light faded, revealing a red-skinned archer. Emiya glanced at the projectiles flying at Mash and confidently grinned.
"Target acquired!"
The bowstring sang, and with a powerful shockwave, reminiscent of a rocket launch, he shot down four cannonballs in an instant.
"One more!"
"Leave it to me, Master!"
Emiya rushed forward and, raising his hand towards the falling projectile, shouted:
"Seven rings that guard the scorched heavens…"
" 'Ro Aias'!"
A huge barrier in the shape of a radiant red flower appeared around his hand. A seven-layered shield resembling petals – "Ro Aias."
"Mash, act!"
"Yes!"
Under Emiya's cover, Mash pushed the shield with all her might, launching Deadpool into the sky.
"Typical mommy! So eager to save us that she forgot to take off her apron… Aaaaaaaah!!"
Before he could properly thank Emiya for his help, Deadpool, according to plan, flew into the distance and crashed with a roar onto the deck of the "Queen Anne's Revenge" – formerly the "Hopeless."
"I'm back from hell, bitches!"
When he rose from the pile of debris, Teach's men stood with their mouths agape, looking at the one who had managed to escape the clutches of Davy Jones himself.
"Dyu-fu-fu-fu. A second meeting with my de-e-ear friend. Many thanks for that deal with zombie-daddy, deza-yo?"
Teach greeted Deadpool in his usual nauseating manner.
"Shut your trap, pervert, lolicon, and hopeless otaku. It's because of people like you that the entertainment industry stagnates!"
This time, Deadpool was extremely serious.
"Uhyo-o-o?! Red buddy is furious, how cute! If so, should I dance Dionysus PPAP too? Oh yes, I admit it!"
Despite his foolish words, Teach's gaze changed. This was no longer the gaze of a pathetic otaku-pervert. He was looking at a great pirate who had sold his soul to the devil and become the terror of the seas.
"Know this, I am a great pirate before whom demons tremble! Edward Teach – that is my name!"
The wicks sticking out of his beard suddenly ignited. Shrouded in thick smoke, his face contorted with devilish malice, he drew his saber.
"In moments like these, you need to quote Nick Fury… or rather, Samuel."
Deadpool also drew his twin swords and assumed a fighting stance.
"Kiss my ass, motherfucker!!"
***
Read the story months ahead of the public release — early chapters are available on my Patreon: Granulan