1431 AD, France.
"Witch! A witch is coming!"
People from all sides threw stones. A vile sorceress, a devil who seduced soldiers and stripped them of their will, turning them into her puppets. A murderer who defiled the name of the Lord and drove innocents to slaughter with false words of divine revelations.
Numerous shameful nicknames branded her name.
"Die, witch!"
Someone's stone struck her forehead with a precise hit. But she harbored no ill will towards them. If it would help atone for the burden she had taken upon herself, she would accept everything without complaint.
"My son died because of you! A gentle boy, he never even held a sword in his hands!"
Resentment is insidious. When an object of blame appears, it doesn't matter who it is or how it's connected to the misfortune – it becomes the target for all accumulated bile. Her son fell on a battlefield she had nothing to do with, but the father simply needed someone to vent his rage and grief upon. People have always been like this – in their pain, they only craved revenge.
"Forgive me... Please, doesn't anyone have a cross? I beg you... Give me a cross..."
In response, the crowd only showered her with furious glances. The defiler of the Lord's name dares to ask for His symbol? They only mocked her plea more than before.
But suddenly, a little girl pushed through the crowd and held out a simple wooden cross in her tiny palms. There was no contempt for the sinner or hatred for the heretic in her eyes – only compassion, sadness, and a bitter sense of injustice.
"Lord, I pray, do not be angry with them. I will fulfill Your will to the end."
She prayed quietly. Clad in dirty rags, she looked nothing like someone who would dare to challenge the heavens. Some understood this. She was not guilty. She was sinless, and that is precisely why she was declared a sinner on the most absurd of charges.
"Bind her!"
At the commander's order, soldiers tied her to a post on a pile of oil-soaked firewood. A pyre. The sin of heresy cannot be atoned for in life. Only by appearing before God in flames can the truth of one's soul be revealed.
"Light it!"
Torches fell on the wood from four sides. The oil-soaked wood ignited instantly. In the roaring flames and unbearable heat, she continued to clench the small cross in her clasped hands. The fire drew closer, but her face remained serene.
"Lord! I am coming to You!"
1431 AD. She who was called the Maid of Orléans, the savior of the fatherland – Joan of Arc – disappeared in the purifying flames. And three days later, she who was called the Witch of the Black Dragon appeared. She led hordes of monsters, bringing ruin to the world. And the name of this witch was also Joan of Arc.
◇
Chaldea's dining hall, a place where the organization's staff satisfies their hunger. There, in a beam of light cutting through the gloom, Deadpool stood frozen before a grand piano. Stroking the neat mustache glued over his mask, he gracefully placed his hands on the keys.
"I dedicate this song to all of you," – to those whose burden grows heavier with each passing day because the gacha once again gave trash, and the desired character didn't drop even with a 100% chance.
The gentle sounds of the piano floated in the silence. It was a sad performance for an invisible audience. Soon he began to sing, adjusting to the melancholic rhythm:
"Mama~ Lancer died again~ It was my wallet, or maybe Mama's wallet~"
"Mama~ I'm scared~ not of Mama's anger, but of my own~"
The rhythm became sharp, almost aggressive, and then subsided again. Anger and hatred gave way to icy sorrow, transitioning into a broken cry.
"Mama~ ooh~ I don't want to spend it all. Give me another chance~ this time for sure~ it will work out~"
The music continued, but the light suddenly went out and flashed in another direction. There stood a red Servant in the same costume... or rather, it was Deadpool himself, who had somehow appeared there with a guitar in his hands. He trembled as if in divine ecstasy, and his playing made the hearts of the imaginary listeners clench.
"I saw it~ the drop rate sign~ (Skadi-pick~ Skadi-pick~ your chance has come now~)"
"The chance to get her is like a lightning strike! (Don't do it~ do it~ don't~ do~ Stella Arash!~)"
Darkness again. Now, three identical red Servants appeared on backing vocals. The spectacle resembled a mad musical.
"I'm just a humble Master~ I have neither Merlin nor Skadi~ (Oh Master with an empty wallet and a heavy burden, let us pull you out of this abyss!)"
"Favorites, effective fighters, in the end, there are three (Ku! Mer! Lin!) Oh~ (Just pull one! It's impossible!~)"
The choir began to bicker, grabbing the vocalist by the microphone. The degree of madness grew, and in the heat of the struggle, they almost tore the poor guy in half.
"Oh mamma mia, mamma mia~ Mama, help! Demons! They are tempting me~ Me~ Me-e-e-nya~ Me-e-e-e-nya-a-a-a!!"
In the midst of the climax, a voice rang out:
"Mr. Pool? What are you doing here?"
The lights in the dining hall came on. The atmosphere instantly evaporated, revealing Deadpool standing on a table with a ladle raised high in his hand. The intruder of the moment was Mash.
"Uh... Nothing special. Just working on a new album."
"Doctor Roman and Da Vinci are looking for you. It's time for a leyshift."
"What a shame," sighed Deadpool, getting off the table. "This could have been the only masterpiece left from human history."
Regretting the interrupted benefit performance, he shuffled after Mash.
"What you were singing... that was a Queen song, wasn't it?" Mash asked quietly, humming a short line.
Deadpool's eyes widened, and he trembled like a star meeting its first fan.
"It's a cover. From the collection 'Deadpool's Greatest Hits of the Apocalypse, Volume 1.' Limited edition, only fifty copies. Fifty bucks a piece! Wanna buy?"
"Uh... no, thank you, I'll pass."
Soon they entered the Chaldea control room. Roman and Da Vinci were checking the readings for the quantum transfer, and Fujimaru Ritsuka and Fou were already waiting for them.
"Good morning, Mash. How are you feeling?"
"Everything's fine, Senpai. And you?"
"And me... everything is fine too..."
Exchanging greetings, the young people smiled shyly.
"Oh-oh, good luck to you, kiddo!" Deadpool, instantly catching the spark between them, gave an encouraging thumbs-up behind Mash.
"Well, everyone is here. Shall we start the briefing?"
Having completed the preparation for the spiritual particle transfer, Doctor Romani gathered the trio to present "Fate" – the summoning system for Heroic Spirits developed at Chaldea – and explain the details of the upcoming leyshift: the time and destination.
"Before our Doc starts his boring lecture, I'll explain it in simple terms!" Deadpool interjected. "This is gacha, kids. Pure gacha. The same crap where they suck your hard-earned money for a phantom chance to pull a gold card for four or five stars. And here it is, the long-awaited event, you wait for your hero, and you get... " he whispered conspiratorially, "...some 'Vlad the Impaler,' and you cry buckets. A complete scam! There's not even a guarantee here!"
"Uh, Mr. Pool? Who were you talking to?"
Noticing Deadpool muttering something into the void, Romani stared at him warily, as if he were conversing with ghosts.
"Oh, sorry. Just enlightening the poor lambs who blew millions and ended up with nothing."
"Hee-hee! Please... refrain from communicating with invisible entities!"
Doctor Romani Archaman began to keep his distance from Deadpool after he had conducted his medical examination and registered the materials for the Chaldea database. More precisely, Deadpool constantly tried to stick to him, and Romani tried his best to escape.
"Don't react so violently, Doc. Otherwise, I'll want to 'nibble' you."
"A-a-a! Guilty! I won't do it again!"
Deadpool leaned into Romani's face, looming like a dark shadow, and whispered so close that the doctor's ear tickled. Romani turned pale and trembled all over, like an aspen leaf.
"Stop bullying people!" Da Vinci had to take matters into her own hands. "And you, Romani, you can't be such a coward."
"Ahem-ahem... Let's continue," Da Vinci addressed the group again. "Your first task is to investigate and correct the singularity. This is a critical point in human history, a moment when everything went wrong. If this point is not corrected, humanity will simply degenerate and disappear."
It was into such singularities that the spiritual particle transfer device – a device capable of overcoming space and time – was supposed to take them. The goal: arrive in the era, conduct reconnaissance, locate the problem, and eliminate it, returning history to its normal course.
"'Back to the Future,' 'Timecop,' 'Terminator,' 'Star Trek'... In short, we're doing movie classics?" Deadpool summarized.
"Uh... well, in general terms, yes," Romani confirmed.
The essence was simple – time travel.
"But the main problem is the singularity itself," the doctor continued. "As you already understood from the events in Fuyuki, the Holy Grail is located there. A wish-granting chalice capable of manifesting any desire. The type that Lev called 'King' probably used it to create seven such distortions in key historical epochs."
"And if the Grail is left unsupervised, the singularity will continue to destroy history," Da Vinci added. "So your goal is to gather as much information as possible, locate the Grail, and then retrieve or destroy it. Is everything clear?"
Ritsuka and Mash nodded, absorbing the instructions of the brilliant Italian woman.
"These two goals will be your main work. Of course, Mr. Pool also has the mission to protect Ritsuka and Mash. We will provide you with mana from here. And if you need anything else – we will provide any possible support."
"Well, since I'm now officially the sexiest Canadian mercenary in the world, it would be a sin to refuse the contract," Deadpool grinned. "Just don't forget our deal, old lady."
"Unlike someone in red, I'm not so selfish."
"What did you say?!"
The bickering between Deadpool and Da Vinci began the moment he crossed the threshold of Chaldea. When Romani tried to reconcile them, both declared in one voice that they felt an instinctive dislike for each other. In the end, with the mediation of Ritsuka and Mash, the argument subsided, and the three of them stood on the platform in the transfer chamber, which had been fully restored after the explosion.
"As soon as you perform the leyshift, the first thing you should do is find a place where spiritual veins intersect and set up a summoning circle," Romani advised. "Only then can we establish support. Mash knows how to do it. Good luck to you."
Mash nodded intently, mentally reciting the steps.
"We need a safe place, a roof over our heads, a home to return to... Right, Senpai?"
"Exactly, Mash. Golden words," Ritsuka smiled.
The girl blushed deeply and lowered her gaze – she was still a little embarrassed. Next to them, Deadpool, clearly enjoying the moment, broke into a silly grin and started firing imaginary "heart pistols" into the air, completely ruining the pathos of the moment.
"I haven't quite gotten used to being a Servant yet, but I... I'll give it my all, Senpai!"
Fou, catching her determination, barked happily and wagged his tail.
"You've changed a lot, Mash," Roman remarked warmly. "Your bond with Ritsuka helps you grow. That's wonderful."
"[If any questions arise or things get dicey – don't worry, because you have the brilliant Da Vinci-chan!]"
"Well, of course, old lady, who would doubt it... Ow!"
Deadpool, clearly annoyed by Da Vinci's self-praise, started to grumble, picking at his ear, but Da Vinci apparently heard him and responded with a sensitive electric shock right to his soft spot.
"[Take care of yourselves and don't forget my instructions! Good luck!]"
Before Deadpool could figure out who had hit him and start a new war, Doctor Roman hurried to initiate the process. A blue glow enveloped the trio, and their bodies began to gradually transform into a stream of information, starting from their feet. The Grand Order – the great quest for the Grail – had begun.
"Ah! That's right!"
When the digitization process was almost complete and only Deadpool's head remained, he suddenly remembered something and shouted. It was too late to stop the transfer.
"[What is it, Mr. Pool?]"
"Did I turn off the gas at home?!"
***
Read the story months ahead of the public release — early chapters are available on my Patreon: Granulan