Interlude ~ Notes on the Creation of Material for 6☆ Grand Deadpool.
A normal day at Chaldea.
Doctor Roman found himself in a situation he would have preferred to avoid.
Earlier in Fuyuki, Lev Lainur, upon seeing Wade Wilson – Deadpool – called him a "creature from the outside." At first, having registered the Servant's reaction, Roman decided he was simply an unusual Heroic Spirit, but the news that this man had arrived from a completely different world shocked him.
"So, what's the problem? What's bothering you so much?" Deadpool, who had been lounging in the Chaldea infirmary for a good half hour, flipped through a "Playboy" magazine he'd somehow acquired, trying to stave off boredom.
"Mr. Pool, are you sure you're a Servant?" Roman asked.
"I have no idea."
"And your class?"
"Grand Deadpool?"
"Alignment?"
"Chaotic Chaotic?"
They exchanged short phrases, but Deadpool's answers were more like silly jokes.
"Can you answer seriously?" Roman sighed. "We need to understand your nature. Only then can Chaldea allocate you a proper supply of mana and provide support."
Seeing the predicament he was in, Roman, sweating profusely, began to patiently explain the situation. Since Wade was going to help Ritsuka and Mash in their great quest for the Holy Grail – the Grand Order – Chaldea's support was vital.
"Besides, who are you really? The tests showed that your body is riddled with cancer cells... and at the terminal stage. They've spread everywhere. One tumor has even burrowed into your brain."
"What?! You were peeking at my body? You want to use me, don't you?! Like in those vulgar doujinshi?!"
Despite Roman simply stating the results of the X-ray and MRI, Deadpool was already fully embodying the victim of harassment, shyly covering himself and blushing.
Roman swallowed a pill, trying to quell his throbbing headache.
"Listen! With these readings, a normal person would have died long ago... But your body seems to be trapped in a cycle of destruction and creation. The cancer-ridden areas regenerate, the tumor cells attack them again – and so on, at the cellular level!"
"Well, I am a a-a-a-mazing mutant."
Mutant.
Those called mutants are usually considered superhumans or a new type of human whose abilities are far beyond human capabilities. They are called psychics or super-powered individuals, but as far as Roman knew, people with magical talent existed in their world, but not with such a physiological anomaly.
"Yes. Now the puzzle starts to come together. Mr. Pool, when you fought Berserker, you came back unharmed. From a common-sense perspective, defeating the great hero Heracles without a single scratch is impossible. Normally, you should have lost at least a couple of limbs. But as we see, you are perfectly fine."
"Alright, Dr. House. What's my diagnosis?"
"Automatic Tissue Restoration. Healing Factor."
Roman had heard of the ability to regenerate even if the body was cut to pieces or turned into mince. Theoretically, even if only a head remained, the body would fully regenerate in the shortest possible time.
The ability that humanity had always strived for, the very thing the first emperor of China craved, accelerating his own end... The Healing Factor was demonstrated in its full glory by the red Servant, who was currently striking suggestive poses in front of him.
"By the way, initially, I didn't regenerate so spectacularly – 'whoosh!' and it was done, like Wolverine. Regeneration was there, but very slow. But you see, the thing is..."
"The thing is?"
In response to Roman's question, Deadpool jumped off the couch, drew a pistol from the holster on his belt, and pressed it to his temple.
"Oops! Kids, switch to cartoons for now."
"Wait...!" Roman exclaimed.
But before he could stop him, Deadpool pulled the trigger and fell dead, splattering the wall with blood and gore. This sudden suicide made Roman's stomach churn, and he clutched the trash can, fighting nausea.
However, a moment later, Deadpool, twitching his arms and legs, cheerfully jumped up as if nothing had happened. Roman froze with his mouth agape.
"Five seconds. My brain was blown apart by more than twenty percent, and it took mere seconds to regenerate. It used to take about an hour. And now, look."
This time, he drew a sword and cut off his own arm with one swing. Roman gagged into the trash can again. Deadpool picked up his arm from the floor and pressed it to the stump. As if glued with superglue, the edges of the wound met, and the limb instantly reattached.
"See? I couldn't do this fast before. If something was cut off, it was supposed to grow back, not be welded in place."
A long time ago, a big guy in a helmet that looked like a bucket cut him in half with one blow. Wade had to retreat to a sanctuary, carrying the lower half of his body under his arm, but his legs didn't "weld" back then. Instead, new ones started to grow. They were tiny at first, like a baby's, and gradually increased in size. It took three hours to fully recover then.
"Looks like my mutation gene has evolved. Well, it's better for me. At least I won't have to wait long for everything to grow back, it's boring."
Whatever he said, to Doctor Roman, Deadpool remained a complete mystery. Both the space-time displacement device given to Da Vinci, and this enhanced healing factor.
But most importantly, he destroyed Heracles. Even though he was in Berserker mode with sealed Noble Phantasms and Mad Enhancement, he was still incredibly powerful. Of course, there are heroes who can counter Berserker – for example, those who have an advantage against divinity, or Servants of a divine level.
But Deadpool didn't fit into any category. As Lev put it, he was a "creature from the outside."
"Phew... The examination is over. You can go."
"Can I stay a bit longer?"
"I'm busy. Don't bother me."
When the boring examination was over, Deadpool, with a radiant face, humming something under his breath, skipped out of the infirmary.
Doctor Roman, on the other hand, with an extremely serious expression, began to analyze the collected data to compile the "Material." Although Wade was an irregular element, he was now officially considered a "Servant" under Chaldea's care, which meant registration was mandatory.
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Name – Deadpool.
Class – (Self-proclaimed) Grand Deadpool.
True Name – Wade Winston Wilson.
Alignment – Chaotic Neutral.
Parameters.
Strength – C.
Endurance – D.
Agility – B.
Mana – E.
Luck – D.
Noble Phantasm – ■■
Skills.
Independent Action – A+
A rank comparable to Servants who have achieved Incarnation. Can exist in the world without restrictions, even if mana supply from the Master or from outside is cut off. Given his irregularity, the actual level is likely even higher.
Automatic Tissue Restoration – EX.
Ability to restore lost parts with 100% accuracy. In Deadpool's case, an enhanced form of the mutation gene. Allows not only regeneration of tissues but also effortless reattachment of severed limbs. Recovery time is no more than a few minutes. Capable of recovering even with the loss of most of the brain. Effectively – immortality.
Mental Pollution – EX.
Sanity is severely damaged. Constantly talks nonsense, addressing the void, and mentions things without a shadow of a doubt, the knowledge of which inspires horror. A level at which even the "fourth wall" may be erased. Compiler's note, Romani Archaman: "A creature that is simply terrifying to be near."
Noble Phantasm…
◇
"About the Phantasm... honestly, I don't even want to know," muttered Doctor Roman and, swallowing with difficulty, completed the registration. Of course, further research was required for complete information, but this temporary version would suffice for starters. To be honest, he personally didn't want to dig deeper.
"Listen, sorry to interrupt your work..."
"Mommy!!"
Deadpool's sudden appearance made Roman jump so hard he flew out of his chair and landed on the floor. The impact of his tailbone on the hard surface sent a sharp pain through him, and the doctor clutched his backside.
"Want some pancakes?" Deadpool, who had already managed to get a chef's hat from somewhere, offered him a plate of steaming pancakes.
Surprisingly, he could get along well with that Gudako from Riyo...
***
Read the story months ahead of the public release — early chapters are available on my Patreon: Granulan