Deadpool was currently wearing a leather biker vest with no shirt underneath, a pair of aviator sunglasses over his mask, and was aggressively flexing in a mirror he had bolted to the announcer's desk.
"tum, lock up your daughters and hide your fragile emotions, because Ring 4 is currently experiencing a 400% increase in pure, unadulterated testosterone!" Deadpool shouted, his voice gravelly and intense. "This is the battle of the 'Stony-Faced Saviors'! It's the Delinquent with the Stand versus the Successor of the North Star! It's the 'Ora Ora' versus the 'Omae Wa Mou Shindeiru'! The air in the arena is so thick with manliness I can actually taste the leather and motor oil!"
Ring 4 was a desolate, post-apocalyptic wasteland. Rusted skyscrapers leaned against each other like skeletons, and a dry, hot wind blew red dust across the cracked remains of a highway.
Heimdall was broadcasting from the top of a giant, armored war-rig. "Match Number Twenty-Four! The heir of the Joestar spirit, Jotaro Kujo! Versus the 64th successor of Hokuto Shinken, Kenshiro!"
The Stoic Stand-Off
Kenshiro walked into the center of the ring, his seven scars glowing faintly beneath his shredded shirt. He stopped twenty feet away, his gaze piercing and heavy. "You have the eyes of a man who has walked through hell," Kenshiro said, his voice a low rumble. "But your journey ends here. Your life is already forfeit."
Jotaro tipped the brim of his hat, concealing his eyes. He exhaled a long puff of cigarette smoke into the dry air. "Yare yare daze... you talk a lot of nonsense for a guy who's about to get his face caved in. Give me a break."
Behind Jotaro, the purple, muscular specter of Star Platinum flickered into existence, its eyes burning with intensity.
The Invisible Strike
Kenshiro moved first. He didn't run; he glided. His hands moved in a blur of motion, striking at the air around Jotaro. "Hokuto Hyakuretsu Ken!"
Even though Kenshiro couldn't see the Stand, his mastery of Touki (fighting spirit) allowed him to sense the presence of the invisible guardian. His fingers struck the air with the force of bullets, aiming for the pressure points of the spiritual entity.
Star Platinum caught every single strike. The sound of their fists colliding was like a rapid-fire series of shotgun blasts. CLANG-CLANG-CLANG-CLANG!
"Too slow," Jotaro muttered. "Star Platinum: The World!"
The Time Stop
The universe turned a negative-image gray. The dust froze in the air. Kenshiro was suspended in mid-motion, his finger inches away from Jotaro's chest.
Jotaro walked calmly around Kenshiro, his coat fluttering in the frozen wind. "You're a tough guy, I'll give you that. But you can't hit what you can't see, and you definitely can't hit what isn't moving."
Star Platinum unleashed a final, devastating barrage. "ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA!!!"
Time resumed.
Kenshiro was hit by a thousand invisible punches simultaneously. He was launched backward through a concrete wall, then through a bus, finally stopping when he hit the base of a tilted skyscraper. His shirt exploded from the internal pressure of the strikes.
Kenshiro coughed, slowly pulling himself to his feet. He looked at Jotaro with a faint, respectful nod. "A hidden spirit... and the ability to halt time itself. You are indeed a formidable warrior."
Kenshiro tried to take a step forward, but his legs gave out. The sheer physical trauma to his internal organs from Star Platinum's precision was too much, even for a master of Hokuto Shinken. He fell to one knee, unconscious.
"Match Twenty-Four winner... JOTARO KUJO!" Heimdall announced, the war-rig honking its massive horn in celebration.
Up in the booth, Deadpool wiped a bead of sweat from his mask. "The Joestar luck holds out! That's 24 winners down, 27 matches to go in Round One, tum! I need a protein shake and a very long cry. That was beautiful."
The Ego-Trip is Next!
We're moving into the territory of the "God Complexes." Buckle up!
Match 25 (Ring 15): Dio Brando vs. Homelander. (The Vampire God vs. The Supe. High-altitude narcissism!)
Match 26 (Ring 21): Rimuru Tempest vs. Kirby. (The Battle of the Pink and Blue gluttons!)
Match 27 (Ring 8): Samurai Jack vs. Himura Kenshin. (The Honorable Blade vs. The Battousai.)