Deadpool was currently wearing a cheap plastic American flag tied around his neck like a cape, a pair of plastic vampire fangs, and was aggressively drinking a carton of milk while staring at his own reflection in a hand mirror.
"tum, you might want to wear sunglasses for this one, because the sheer glare coming off these guys' egos is enough to blind a normal person!" Deadpool shouted, spitting the plastic fangs onto the desk. "We are up in Ring 15, and the 'Narcissist of the Year' award is about to be handed out! It's the Vampire God against the Vought Poster Boy! It's Dio Brando versus Homelander! The only thing bigger than their power levels is their desperate need for attention!"
Ring 15 was set on the glass roof of a massive, hundred-story corporate skyscraper at midnight. A thunderstorm raged in the distance, casting dramatic flashes of lightning across the sleek, rain-slicked surface.
Heimdall was broadcasting from a heavily armored news chopper circling the tower. "Match Number Twenty-Five! The immortal vampire, Dio Brando! Versus the leader of the Seven, Homelander!"
The Clash of Egos
Homelander floated a few feet above the glass roof, his cape blowing majestically in the wind. He had his hands on his hips and his signature, unsettling corporate smile plastered on his face. "So, you're the guy playing dress-up tonight? Look, pal, I'm the real deal. I'm the upgrade. Just bow down, let me laser your legs off, and the PR team will make sure you look like a tragic hero on the evening news."
Dio stood perfectly still, his yellow jacket practically glowing in the dark. He tilted his head back, looking down his nose at the flying man. "A rat in a cape. You float in the air, yet you still look like you are groveling in the dirt. You possess power, but you lack the majesty of a true ruler. You are nothing but a spoiled child."
The Unseen Threat
Homelander's smile vanished instantly. His eyes flared with a terrifying, bright red light. "I am the homelander. And I can do whatever the hell I want!"
He fired a massive, concentrated beam of heat vision directly at Dio's chest. The lasers tore straight through Dio, blowing a hole the size of a dinner plate right through his torso.
Homelander laughed, slowly floating down to the roof. "See? I told you. Just another bug on the wind—"
"Is that the best the modern age has to offer?"
Homelander froze. He spun around. Dio was standing right behind him, the massive hole in his chest already stitching itself back together with steam and twisting flesh.
"What... what are you?" Homelander stammered, stepping back. He swung a fist with enough force to level a building, aiming right for Dio's head.
But his fist stopped an inch from Dio's face. It hit an invisible wall of solid muscle. The golden, towering specter of The World had caught Homelander's punch effortlessly.
Time Stops for the King
Up in the booth, Deadpool was doing jumping jacks. "Homelander is strong, tum, but he's basically a bully who has never been punched back! And he absolutely cannot see Stands! He thinks Dio is just blocking him with his mind!"
"You dare raise your hand against me?" Dio sneered. "The World! Stop time!"
The colors of the city inverted into a negative flash. The rain froze mid-air. The lightning hung motionless in the sky. Homelander was completely paralyzed, his face locked in a mask of confusion and growing fear.
Dio casually walked a circle around the frozen hero. "Your skin is tough, I will give you that. But your mind is weak. And your internal organs? Just as fragile as any human."
Dio summoned The World. The Stand bypassed Homelander's invulnerable outer skin by striking with pinpoint precision directly against his ears, driving invisible shockwaves into his eardrums and brain.
"MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA!!!"
The World unleashed a barrage of a hundred strikes in three seconds.
"Time resumes," Dio whispered.
The rain started falling again. Homelander let out a blood-curdling scream. He had taken zero surface damage, but the internal concussion and ruptured eardrums sent him into a state of pure panic. Blood leaked from his nose and ears. He stumbled backward, tripped over his own cape, and crashed onto the glass roof, completely disoriented and crying out in pain.
Dio walked over, placing a shiny, pointed shoe firmly on Homelander's chest, pinning the "hero" to the ground.
"Match Twenty-Five winner... DIO BRANDO!" Heimdall announced, the chopper wisely keeping its distance.
Up in the booth, Deadpool tossed his milk carton over his shoulder. "The Vampire puts the Supe in his place! That's 25 winners down, 26 matches to go in Round One, tum! We are officially at the halfway point of the first round!"
The Halfway Point!
We are knocking these out of the park! Here is the next block of absolute chaos:
Match 26 (Ring 21): Rimuru Tempest vs. Kirby. (The "I Eat Everything" Slime-off. The cutest and most destructive fight yet.)
Match 27 (Ring 8): Samurai Jack vs. Himura Kenshin. (The Honorable Blade. Two legendary swordsmen with strict moral codes.)
Match 28 (Ring 2): Bakugo vs. Megumin. (Explosions. Just... so many explosions.)