Standing right in the middle of the corridor, wearing a neon-yellow "MALL SECURITY" vest over his massive muscles, was All Might (My Hero Academia). He was currently holding a shoplifting Uchiha by the collar while flashing a smile that was 40% charisma and 60% dental insurance.
"FEAR NOT, CITIZENS!" All Might boomed, his voice vibrating the glass of a nearby Swarovski shop. "BECAUSE I AM HERE! TO ENSURE THAT EVERYONE FOLLOWS THE 'NO SHIRT, NO SHOES, NO SERVICE' POLICY! UNITED STATES OF... SECURITY TAGGING!"
The Height Requirement Calamity
Near the "Extreme Multiverse Coaster," a heated argument was breaking out. Edward Elric (Fullmetal Alchemist) was jumping up and down, pointing a metallic finger at a height-requirement sign.
"WHO ARE YOU CALLING A MICROSCOPIC PIMPLE ON THE FACE OF THE EARTH?!" Edward screamed, his voice reaching a frequency only dogs and Saitama could hear. "I am the Fullmetal Alchemist! I don't care if the sign says I'm too short for the 'Mega-Drop'! I'll transmute the whole ride into a tricycle if you don't let me on!"
Beside him, Tanjiro Kamado (Demon Slayer) was politely trying to calm him down while carrying a box of charcoal he was trying to sell to a Sephora employee. "Please, Edward-kun! Maybe if we find a tailor, we can get you some platform shoes? Your forehead is very angry right now!"
The Culinary Conflict
Back in the food court, the "Orange Chicken Standoff" had attracted a new player. Naruto Uzumaki (Naruto) had set up a folding table directly in front of the Joker's wreckage.
"Forget the Joker's gas-chicken, dattebayo!" Naruto yelled, slapping a bowl of Miso Ramen onto the table. "Ichiraku's is the only real food in the mall! Hey, Luffy! Stop eating the napkins and try the broth!"
Monkey D. Luffy (One Piece), whose neck was currently stretched eighteen feet across the room to steal a leg of lamb from Goku's plate, snapped back like a rubber band. "MEAT! I smell meat! If there's no meat in that bowl, I'm going to turn this mall into a pirate ship and sail it into the sun!"
The Existential Crisis Corner
In the center of a Sharper Image store, Shinji Ikari (Evangelion) was sitting in a high-end massage chair, staring at his hands while a "Deep Tissue" setting pounded his soul.
"I shouldn't be here," Shinji whispered as a single tear hit the leather. "I should be in the robot. But the robot doesn't have a 'Calm Rainforest' setting. Why does everyone want me to shop? I'm just a pilot..."
Suddenly, the air turned cold. Light Yagami (Death Note) walked past, frantically scribbling in a notebook while looking at the "Employee of the Month" photos. "If I can just find the manager's name... I can finally get a refund for this 'Potato Chip' bag that only had three chips in it! I'LL BE THE GOD OF THE FOOD COURT!"
The Transformation Station
Near a Forever 21, Usagi Tsukino (Sailor Moon) was having a meltdown because a pair of boots didn't match her tiara.
"IN THE NAME OF THE MOON, I WILL PUNISH THIS SALES ASSOCIATE!" she wailed, while Rimuru Tempest (That Time I Got Reincarnated as a Slime), currently in blue-blob form, was absorbing a spilled Blue Raspberry Slushie off the floor.
"Relax, Usagi," Rimuru bubbled, his voice calm and jiggly. "I can just mimic the boots for you. Just don't ask me to turn into a jumpsuit, it's humiliating."
The "Yare Yare" Zone
Leaning against a pillar, watching the chaos with visible disgust, was Jotaro Kujo (JoJo's Bizarre Adventure). He tipped his hat down, a purple aura of "Good Grief" radiating from his body.
"Good grief," Jotaro muttered. "Deadpool, if you don't stop talking to the air and calling it 'tum,' I'm going to let my Stand, Star Platinum, show you what 'High Definition' pain feels like."
"Whoa, easy there, Hat-Hair!" Deadpool chirped, holding up his hands. "tum is my best friend! We're documenting this for posterity! Or at least for the lawyers! Look at the bright side, Jotaro! At least Aizen isn't trying to—"
"I AM THE NEW CEO OF THIS MALL!" Aizen's voice boomed from the overhead speakers. He had hacked the intercom. "As of this moment, all stores are now 'Kyoka Suigetsu' outlets. If you think you're buying a shirt, you're actually buying a handful of sand! IT WAS ALL PART OF MY PLAN!"