February 29th.
To put it simply... this was the name of a hidden file on the Hyperion. I created it back during my days as Captain to alleviate the mounting carnal frustrations that came with being surrounded by so many beautiful women. It was a pressure valve of sorts.
True to its purpose, it contained my various... eccentric tastes. Naturally, it held things that would be quite problematic if any of the Valkyries ever saw them.
I had kept it a total secret even from my wife, yet there are currently three people who have sniffed it out: Kiana, Mei, and Seele.
...For a secret, quite a lot of people seem to know about it. Regardless, Kiana was currently using that secret to blackmail me right now.
And I must admit, her threat was incredibly effective.
"Captain?"
I snapped back to reality at the sound of Susannah's voice. She was looking at me with a bewildered expression as I stood there, trembling with a fractured, forced smile plastered on my face.
Right. First, I need to stay calm.
Let's think about this rationally.
No matter how reckless Kiana is, surely she wouldn't actually—
'Welcome home~ Do you want a bath? Or dinner? Or... Me. First?'
Actually say—
'I want the steak sauce you're eating to be the one I personally made.'
Something—
'I've decided to move in and live with you starting today, okay?'
Like—
'It's okay, it's okay... hmm? It's fine. Now, let me see that back of yours.'
...What do I do?
I've known her for ten years. When I consider the sheer, terrifying initiative Kiana has shown lately, I can't be certain of anything.
Kiana is someone who dives headfirst into action, more so than anyone else, without a single glance back at the consequences—be they good or bad.
She's the type to push through the unthinkable with pure momentum. If I don't give her an answer, she is exactly the kind of person who would actually spill the beans about 'February 29th.'
If she says she'll do it, she does it.
So, think. I have to think.
How do I navigate this crisis?
Wait, since Senior Mei is there, won't it be alright?
...No, strike that. If my wife starts by stopping them but ends up getting curious after hearing Kiana out, they might join forces and look at the file together. That would be even more catastrophic.
Right, if I just send a secret SOS message right now—
'Oops... ah, sorry. I accidentally gave them this one instead. My hand slipped~'
To stop Kiana—
'Ever since then, I wanted to know more about you, so I've been secretly following and watching you whenever I had a spare moment.'
From—
'If I had stayed in that spot any longer, I might have just devoured you right then and there before we could even make any progress.'
Doing—
'In other words, it's fine as long as Bronya-chan gives her permission, right?'
This—
'Now then, it looks like our little chat is over... shall we begin?'
...No good. Senior Mei is dangerous in a completely different way than Kiana.
In fact, would someone like her not know what Kiana was typing? No, she probably already knew and simply chose not to warn me. She's always acted as the stabilizer, making sure Kiana's outbursts don't spiral too far out of control.
The fact that she sent me off with a smile and a 'Good luck with the broadcast~' without a single hint of warning means there was a high probability that her message contained an underlying subtext.
'You'd better answer correctly.'
...Now that I think about it, she was the mastermind behind that inn incident, too. It's depressing that I can't simply dismiss these thoughts as delusions.
What do I do? How do I dodge this landmine of a question?
I'm at the point where I have to worry if I can even step foot in my house after the broadcast.
Come on, brain, work!
Suddenly, a flash of inspiration hit me.
...Yes, that's it.
"Then I suppose it can't be helped. I'm hi—"
"Ah, there's a P.S. added here at the bottom. It says: 'Everyone already knows you dated Major Himeko, and she herself told us that she wasn't your first love. Surely you aren't planning to use the Major's name to deflect, are you? I trust you aren't that much of a scumbag~' ...That's what it says. Oh, by the way, what were you going to say?"
"I was going to say I was once a hikikomori (shut-in)."
That was a close one. I almost died.
No, seriously, did Major Himeko actually tell the other girls we dated? And she even told them she wasn't my first love?
She told me she'd never let my secrets slip to anyone! Just what is—? As I was thinking that, a conversation from my days dating Major Himeko surfaced in my mind.
'Sorry, and I know it's a bit much coming from a teacher, but... you should probably be careful around Mei.'
'Huh? Senior Mei?'
'Judging by your face, you don't get it. Honestly, I'm amazed you haven't been caught yet. So please, don't forget what I told you.'
Back then, I just thought of Senior Mei as a kind, gentle older woman, so I didn't think too deeply on it. But considering the behavior she's shown lately, I think I finally understand why Himeko said those words.
And since Mei doesn't even try to hide that side of herself anymore...
No, let's stop thinking about that for now. The priority is getting through this mess.
"Oh, look! The user 'Herrscher of the Hearth' also left a P.S."
"...Beg pardon?"
"It says, 'If you don't reveal your first love honestly, I suppose I have no choice but to reveal the Captain's tastes to the entire world.' Hmm?"
"... ..."
"Wait, Captain? It says here that your hobby is building plastic models... is it something else?"
"...No, that is indeed my hobby."
The 'tastes' Susannah-san is thinking of and the word 'sexual' hidden in parentheses before 'tastes' in that message are two very different things, haha.
Ah, this is bad. Really bad.
The two people I least expected to coordinate have joined forces. And they're the two people who have me by the throat with my own weaknesses!
What a total checkmate. If I don't reveal my first love, I'll suffer social execution. If I do, I might never be able to return home.
I briefly considered lying and naming someone they don't know, but Senior Mei is uncannily quick at catching my lies—even faster than my own wife. You're telling me to lie to the woman who sees through any fabrication instantly and proceeds to beat me down with facts while smiling?
It would be faster just to forfeit my life.
Besides, the fact that both of them left those messages means there's a high chance they've called my wife over and all three of them are watching this broadcast together.
Ugh, my stomach hurts. I'm craving Gaviscon right now.
"Sigh..."
"Captain, are you alright? Your face has turned quite pale."
"No, I'm fine. Right... my first love... can we possibly keep this off the record?"
"I think that would be difficult. This is the question the viewers want most."
Despite her words of sympathy, the sparkle in Susannah's eyes told me she was just as curious as the audience. Realizing there was no one left to help me, I despaired, but ultimately decided to choose the latter option. Survival at home was at least statistically higher than complete social annihilation.
"...It's..."
"Yes?"
"...It's Cecilia Schariac-san."
"Cecilia Schariac?! Now that is a surprise! May I ask why?"
"I... I was saved by Cecilia-san when I was a child. Looking back, it was love at first sight. That's why I remember being so incredibly sad when I heard she had passed away."
"I see... and how old were you back then, Captain?"
"I was two years old."
"T-Two?! My, you certainly were... precocious."
As Susannah forced a strained smile, I could only manage a bitter laugh and a nod. "Right?"
And as I had feared, I wasn't able to return home that day.
This was all thanks to Siegfried Kaslana-san, who spent the night chasing me with a bright smile, swinging the Judgement of Shamash in its Cleaver form as if we were playing a game of tag.
This is exactly why I didn't want to say anything!
Ah, wait! Even a graze from that will actually kill me!
Argh, it's singeing my clothes!
Who's the idiot who said the second option had a better chance of survival?!
Gah, hot—someone save me!