At the Class Monitor's words, my train of thought comes to a screeching halt.
I force my brain to reboot, reorganizing the facts based on what I just heard.
So, what she's saying is... even if the primary Fenghuang Down was destroyed, a stray feather remained?
If that's the case, then it's not strange at all that I have absolutely no memory of whatever I did while under its hypnotic influence. Hahaha...
"It was your fault all along?!"
She was acting like some master detective pointing out a culprit, but the source was her own Divine Key!
I press a hand to my forehead, letting out a long, weary sigh.
"...I have no excuse for that part. However, I swear I never imagined those two would use it for such... purposes!"
"Didn't you say it yourself? That their eyes and the whole atmosphere felt dangerous? Even if they didn't literally jump me, my safety was clearly at risk!"
"T-that's..."
Unable to deny it, the Class Monitor fidgets, her eyes darting around guiltily. I decide to take a softer approach.
"Just be honest with me, Fu Hua."
"B-about what?"
"You just got overwhelmed by the pressure those two were putting on you and handed it over without thinking, right?"
"...Urgh, just kill me now!"
Watching her cry out like a disgraced knight in some questionable fantasy novel, I realize my guess was spot on.
I don't know exactly what version of those two she faced, but for the stoic Class Monitor to panic enough to give away a secret weapon... anyone else would have fared much worse.
Actually, most people probably would have surrendered everything they owned.
"...Perhaps it would be best to conduct a DNA test?" Bronya suggests.
"You should reconsider that, Bronya."
Conducting a DNA test isn't as simple as just having a stray hair. To prove paternity, you'd need hair samples with the follicles intact.
That would mean pulling hair directly from the children's heads. Bianca might not notice, but Rita would pick up on it instantly. But the bigger issue is legal: a DNA test for a minor requires the consent of both parents. If I asked, I'd essentially be announcing to Bianca and Rita that I suspect their children are mine.
If they turn around and confirm that they are my children, there's no turning back. If that happens, this situation won't just be a '+2' scenario. It'll be '+5'—and that's a problem of a whole different magnitude.
And for the record, I'm not even counting the children in that math.
"Sigh. Regardless, why would those two go that far? I don't think I'm particularly charming enough to warrant such extremes."
As I let my honest feelings slip, my wife, the Class Monitor, and Sushang all give me incredibly complicated looks.
What? Outside of the 'Hero' title, I'm as ordinary as they come. My family is average, my parents are average—wait, my parents?
"...Come to think of it, we didn't even need to deal with these hypotheticals."
"Pardon?"
"What do you mean by that?"
I'm not sure how we got onto the topic of kids in the first place, but I finally remembered someone who could put an end to this confusion immediately.
If I look at this rationally, having a child isn't something that happens just because you did 'it' once. Wasn't Bronie only born because my wife drained me until I was practically an empty husk?
No, that's not the point. The point is, there's a simple way to settle this.
"If they're actually married, they would have introduced their husbands to their parents, right?"
""Ah!""
Both of them let out a gasp of realization. Fu Hua looks especially self-critical for failing to think of such a simple logic, but now isn't the time for self-reflection—we need answers.
"Senior, who are you going to call?" Sushang asks.
"I can't reach Rita's parents since I don't have their number. So that leaves one person."
"Are you calling Mr. Siegfried?"
"I could ask Cecilia, but if Siegfried finds out, he'll probably charge at me screaming, 'Become rust on my Shamash!'"
Ever since I revealed during Susannah and Stan's broadcast that Cecilia was my first love, Siegfried has been looking for any excuse to ignite his Divine Key the moment he thinks Cecilia or Kiana aren't watching. I wish he'd stop. A first love is just a first love; I'm a married man with a child now. I don't get why he's so hung up on it.
...Wait, was the incident with Kiana in the naked-apron (well, it was a swimsuit) really that traumatic for him? Well, I suppose if Bronie was caught at some guy's house—a married man's house, no less—wearing nothing but an apron, I would definitely—"
Cough!
"Senior?! Are you okay!"
"Captain, why are you suddenly coughing up blood?!"
"I'm fine... just stay calm."
I just had a momentary lapse where I thought about the kind of man Bronie might like in the future, and the sheer disgust made me physically ill. Then it hit me: from Siegfried's perspective, I am that man.
...Maybe I should just die. Suddenly, everything in life feels vanity of vanities; all is vanity. Maybe I should just throw off the shackles of this world and leave—wait, no.
Focus. Get a grip.
I still have a wolf-like wife and a rabbit-like daughter. I can't die yet. I have to live until Bronie gets married... no, until she brings home my grandkids... no, I won't leave this world until the day I have to close Bronie's eyes for her. Yes, and certainly not until after my wife is gone. I won't leave her alone.
...Anyway, I'm getting sidetracked again.
"I'm calling him now."
I find Siegfried's number, hit dial, and switch to speakerphone. After a few rings, a familiar voice answers.
["What is it?"]
"Ah, Mr. Siegfried. I'm calling because I have a favor to ask."
["I'm busy. Talk to me later."]
["Sieg! Be polite and answer him properly."]
["But Cecilia... sigh... Fine. Che! Keep it under thirty words. You just ruined the mood, so—OW!"]
Hearing that, I realize exactly why Siegfried sounded so irritated. Feeling a surge of guilt, I speak carefully.
"...Should I call back later?"
["Ugh... that hurt. You're married, you should know, right? Once the mood is broken, there's no bringing it back."]
I nod reflexively at his dejected tone. He's right. You can try to ignore it and keep going, but that nagging distraction stays in the back of your mind. Especially for the partner.
My wife and the Class Monitor give me a look that says, 'Stop with the small talk and get to the point!' I hurry up.
"Mr. Siegfried, do you happen to have any of Bianca's wedding photos?"
["What?"]
"You know, photos of Bianca's husband? Do you have any?"
["No, wait a minute..."]
Siegfried goes silent for a moment before responding with utter disbelief.
["What kind of absolute bullshit is that?"]
"Huh?"
["I'm saying I have no idea what the hell you're talking about."]
His tone suggests I'm asking for something that doesn't exist. I reply hesitantly.
"I mean, Bianca's wedding photos, or her husband's—"
["I heard you the first time... and what I'm saying is, I. DON'T. HAVE. A. CLUE. what you're on about!"]
Faced with his growing anger, I look at the other two in silence. 'Did I say something offensive?'
'No. It's a perfectly natural question,' my wife's eyes signal back.
'In fact, I don't understand why Mr. Siegfried is reacting like that,' Fu Hua adds with a look.
Then why is he acting this way? Suddenly, I remember how he acted regarding Kiana. If Siegfried wept blood just because Kiana expressed affection for me, would he really just accept some random guy his other daughter brought home as a husband? No, he'd never accept a son-in-law easily.
Maybe that's why Bianca lives away from Schicksal HQ? I start to feel a wave of pity for this hypothetical husband I've never met. Though, I still can't forgive him for neglecting his kids for work.
Regardless, assuming I understand the situation—that Siegfried is just refusing to acknowledge the marriage—I give him a wry smile through the phone.
"Mr. Siegfried, don't pretend you don't know. Acting like it didn't happen won't change the facts, you know?"
Siegfried lets out a heavy, tired sigh.
["Sigh... You really didn't understand what I meant—actually, forget it. Let me just be blunt."]
His voice becomes deadly serious, dropping an octave into a stern growl.
["Why are you trying to turn my daughter—who has a perfectly bright future ahead of her—into a married woman, you brat?"]