Susannah and Stan.
This was the name of a popular streaming channel where retired Valkyries were invited to give guest lectures.
The channel was originally one of my Aunt's pet projects, designed to bridge the gap between Schicksal's elite warriors and the general public. Against all odds, it became one of her few genuine successes.
Why am I bringing this up? Because the Susannah & Stan channel just celebrated its first anniversary, and I was the one invited as the special guest.
To be honest, I spent a long time debating whether to go. In the end, it was my Aunt—the Overseer—dangling a significant bonus in front of my nose that sealed the deal.
"Yes! Hello everyone~! I'm your host, Susannah!"
"Meow~ (And I am Stan.)"
"To commemorate our one-year anniversary, we've invited a very special guest... Though he's technically retired, he remains one of the pillars of Schicksal—the Captain!"
"Thank you for the grand introduction. Hello, everyone. I'm the former Captain of the Hyperion, currently enjoying my retirement."
Following Susannah's cue, I offered a light wave and a polite smile to the camera.
"It's an honor to be invited to the one-year anniversary of the Susannah & Stan show."
"No, no! The honor is all ours! We heard you rarely ever agree to media appearances, so we just sent the invite as a 'reach for the stars' kind of thing. I never actually expected you'd accept so readily!"
"Hahaha~ Well, I actually watch the channel quite often."
"Really?! Then which recent episode stood out to you the most?"
"The feature on the Quicksand Squad, the team you used to be part of. The chemistry between the members was quite entertaining. My daughter and I watched it together."
"I... I'm honored!"
At my words, Susannah's eyes sparkled with sheer, unadulterated joy. It wasn't hard to see why—she had been a Valkyrie of the Quicksand Squad, after all.
I'd heard they were a tight-knit group, and the video itself was legitimately funny. My daughter and I had shared a good laugh over their antics.
"So, now that I'm here, what's on the agenda for today?"
"Since today is our anniversary, we've prepared a special Q&A segment where viewers can ask you anything!"
"A segment you designed, Susannah?"
"Nope! We collected questions from the viewers beforehand and selected the ones that appeared most frequently. In fact, the list is right here!"
As Susannah gestured toward him, Stan the cat let out a long-suffering huff. He hopped down, walked off-camera, and returned with a piece of paper clamped in his teeth. He hopped onto Susannah's lap and presented it with a dignified tilt of his head.
"As expected of the hero who saved the world. We were flooded with questions."
"'Hero who saved the world' is a bit much. It was a collective effort. We wouldn't have succeeded without everyone's contribution."
"Well, all those other heroes say humanity would never have achieved such a perfect victory if you hadn't been their Captain! Anyway, the most-asked question is... Oho, this one is certainly interesting."
"Interesting...?"
A prickle of apprehension ran down my spine as I watched Susannah. She was wearing a rather mischievous, knowing grin.
"The most popular question is this!"
[Captain, we want to know about your first love!]
With a cheesy *tada!* sound effect, the question flashed across the monitor behind us. I stared at it, speechless.
First love? Who? Mine?
"...Uh, excuse me, but I'm a married man. Am I really supposed to answer this?"
"The viewers are dying to know!"
"Seriously? Who cares about a married man's first love?"
"According to the polls, two-thirds of our subscribers chose this question."
Oh my... The world is doomed.
Besides, talking about my first love now? That's something you talk about *before* getting married, or at least before dating. Bringing it up in my current situation feels like walking into a minefield.
Right. I'll just use the others as an excuse. I'll say since they didn't reveal theirs, I won't either—
"On a side note, one anonymous donor sent a message saying the Captain would try to dodge the question, and that we should disclose this specific detail to prevent that."
"What detail?"
"They said, 'Since we've already come clean, don't even think about using us as an excuse to avoid it.'"
"...Who on earth is this 'anonymous donor'?"
"Since it's anonymous, I can't give you a real name, but I can tell you their username."
"And what is it?"
"It's... [Mackerel]."
The moment I heard that name, I knew exactly who it was. Kiana.
"...And just for the record, who did this anonymous [Mackerel] say her first love was?"
"She wrote, 'The Captain.'"
"Pardon?"
"She said she's been in love with you for over ten years. And that her feelings haven't changed a bit."
...Are you serious, Susannah? You're just going to blurt that out on air?
Wait, does she not realize what that implies? Is she really that oblivious?
"Oh! Is this a public confession?!"
I buried my face in my hands as Susannah squealed, her cheeks flushing red with excitement. I'd suspected it for a while, but she really is as dense—or rather, as 'innocent'—as Kiana.
"Oh, and other people left messages too!"
"...There's more?"
"Someone with the codename [Herrscher of Home Cooking] also wrote 'The Captain.' Her message says... 'I waited for my Master in the bedroom while wearing a collar, but he completely ignored me and left me there. It actually made me even more excited. Woof...' Eh?"
Senior Mei?!
What the hell is she posting on a public forum?!
Of course I ignored you! That's the only logical reaction!
What was I supposed to do when I walked into the bedroom of a married man with a child and saw her sitting there with a collar on, just staring at me?!
I deliberately looked away, hoping that ignoring it would make her stop such behavior... but instead, she's developed some bizarre new fetish?!
And what's with the "Woof" at the end?!
Thanks to her, Susannah was now looking at me like I was some kind of depraved monster!
"Someone named [One Man's Silver Wolf] also wrote 'Captain.'"
Wait. That username... is it who I think it is?
"She says she never expected you to actually accept her confession. Apparently, her first attempt was dismissed as a joke, which made her lose all confidence."
Ah, I remember that.
Back then, my wife was only twelve years old. Since I was the only man in her life, I assumed she was confusing friendship with romantic love, so I turned her down politely.
But when she looked so visibly heartbroken, I set a condition.
Though by the time she finally confessed again, it seemed like Bronya had forgotten all about it.
"I remember that event. I treated her confession as a childish whim at the time and gave her a polite refusal."
"Ah, so that really was your wife! But you accepted her second confession, didn't you?"
"Yes. Back then, seeing her so sad, I made a promise. I told her that if her feelings remained unchanged ten years later, I would accept them."
"Does that mean... you waited ten years for her too, Captain?!"
I nodded in response to Susannah, whose eyes were practically beaming with fascination. To be fair, the promise was part of it, but there was also the fact that no one else confessed to me during those ten years... Not that I need to mention that part.
"I see! No wonder you could be so cold to the [Herrscher of Home Cooking]. You're such a romantic, Captain!"
"Thank you."
"Now, let's get back to the main topic!"
"...Ah."
Right. That thing.
"One more thing. [Mackerel] said if you didn't answer, I should tell you this."
"Tell me what?"
"'February 29th'... is that some kind of code?"
Damn you, Kiana!