Somedays I feel like I have no thought of my own, so I totally depended on others for answers I know. I felt I needed to discuss Leon and I to my friends. My friends I made from school.
We are six in number that's including me. Three girls and three guys. Jake, Zach, Becca, Matt, Kelly and me.
They've always been like family and we discussed everything together and I felt it was only proper and safe I talked to them first about it.
I started with the girls first. Becca and Kelly are both in a relationships for more than 2 years, so I could totally depend on them for advice.
I chatted Becca first, hoping she'd give better advice since she was a few years older.
"Hey, how are you doing?" I sent her the message while thinking about how to start the conversation.
"I'm gooood, but why are you texting this late?" Becca would literally go straight to the point. She could be fun and barely had any filter.
"I might be in a relationship soon, but I need your advice if I should or not. I don't want what happened before to repeat itself." I quickly typed.
They all knew me,soft-spoken, careful with my words, and usually dense to situations like this.
"Do you like or love him? How long have you known him? How old is he? Where does he stay? Send me a picture and all his social media handles." I chuckled, deciding which of her questions to answer first.
"I'm sure about my feelings. I've known him for almost a year now. He's 26, was a student in the University of Washington. I'll send his picture and screenshots of all his social media." I was really hoping Becca would say something nice about him and support me.
Becca didn't reply for almost twenty minutes. I was sure she was doing all the "investigation" she could on his profile. I skimmed through it too, just in case I noticed something she wouldn't like.
Leon barely posted pictures of him, it has always been memes and football banter with friends.
My phone buzzed. Becca's investigation was over.
"He is handsome and tall, fits you perfectly, his profile is clear. I'll send him requests on all social media accounts and also tell him your friends would be his worst nightmare if he hurts you but for now you have my blessings." Becca replied with a tone I'll say is a bit strict and serious.
"Thank you! I love you! Wish me luck." I'm sure she could feel my excitement through the texts.
"I love you. Goodnight, if that's all." That's how the conversation swiftly ended.
Next was Kelly. I knew it would be similar, but if she found out from Becca first, she'd be mad. I didn't want that to come between our friendship.
"Kel, how are you doing? I may have good news." I quickly sent her the text .
"Tell me the goodness first!" Her reply was instant, playful, and full of excitement.
"A friend of mine asked me out. I've developed feelings for him too, and I don't mind dating him." I replied hoping what I've said made sense.
"Yessss! Finally! I'm glad. Now tell me all I need to know." I briefly narrated everything to her. She was satisfied and quickly gave her approval, asking me to accept as soon as possible.
One last person,Matt. We were both single in the group, and they would tease us constantly for it. I felt he needed to know, if only to realize he'd be the only one still single. I had to signal my exit from singlehood.
Matt was a ladies man but rarely dated anyone,people assumed he'd play them because of all the attention he got.
Relationships weren't his thing. His birthday was in two days, and he insisted my entering a relationship would be the perfect gift. Cute, I thought, and I understood his reasons.
"Ever since we've been friends, we've both been single and teased by everyone. Now that you've found love, don't worry about me. Choose your happiness. Don't say no if it's truly what you want. How about I be the one to tell everyone in the group on my birthday?"
I liked his reply even though I would enter this relationship with or without his permission, but it made me smile.
I also had to think about Zach. He had feelings for me but was already dating someone. I couldn't ruin that friendship. I wouldn't deny that there was a time I was starting to like him, but I knew it was wrong. Matt even had to talk to Zach to keep everything smooth.
Jake didn't care. He was in a relationship and often did reckless things, so he didn't see anything wrong with me and Zach joking around. I knew me,I didn't want things to get awkward for everyone.
I had distanced myself from Zach during the holidays so he wouldn't get too comfortable. I could forget a million things, but not how my heart got broken before. I wouldn't sit and ruin someone else's relationship for a little adventure.
Breaking the news to Zach would hurt him. Even after I distanced myself, he still cared. But I had to tell him, so he didn't find out from anyone else.
"Hey Zach, I have something to tell you." My phone buzzed instantly.
"You're literally texting me late. Might think you're finally going to agree to date me," he said, always finding a way to remind me of his feelings.
"You wish Zach.Im here to break your heart, because I've finally found someone I'm going to date. I'm only telling so you quit all the advances you're making."I knew this was it and It time to fully put him in his place.
And just as I hit send, my phone buzzed again. But it wasn't Zach, It was Leon.
"Hey my soon to be girl, I noticed you were still online."
I froze. My heart raced, and a little pang of guilt twisted in my chest. I hadn't expected him to reach out. I stared at the screen, unable to type, unsure of what to say.
And suddenly talking to some other guy that wasn't Leon felt completely wrong. Now I know where my heart truly lies.