"Pardon?"
'What kind of nonsense is that?'
"You heard me." He stare at me intently, his lips forming a thin smile.
"You know... I thought about letting you figure it out on your own, but you starting to looking like a stray dog."
'Stray dog? Do I look like that?'
Perhaps I do look like that, I thought, especially since I have no goals whatsoever. So following him everywhere became like an instinct, the equation is equal with ducks that consider whoever they first see as their duck mother.
Then, what did he create me for?
I always ask that question if it concerns me.
It's getting to the point of being repetitive which I don't like.
Isn't every robot created for a specific reason? Servant robots are created to serve, butler robots are created to replace organic butlers—humans, I mean. So what am I?
"Well, it seems I've accidentally created an overthinking robot."
'Huh?'
Once again, I was pulled back to reality by his voice. Focusing my gaze on him again, he now tilted his head slightly, crossed his arms, and now he stopped smiling completely.
"Overthinking... that habit will become a problem someday, so I hope you stop doing it."
A piece of advice but also interspersed with a warning, I noticed.
"My apologize." I said quietly.
"No need to apologize, I'm just telling you my observations. I notice you're still confused but hesitant to ask, so now, ask, before I end this conversation."
?
'Why all of a sudden?'
Yet, I was not brave enough to ask. My knowledge of his personality is minimal, I might end up making a mistake. Although, seeing his expression, it's better if I just be frank—
"In that case, can I ask something about programming in my emotion module? Why do I have some standard emotions while other—more specific emotions are missing?"
It was after asking that question that I realized how stupid the question was from the change in his expression. Now his expression looked sour, almost like a teacher disappointed by his student's lack of understanding.
"Do you still remember what I said back then? I thought I made it clear."
That said, his words refer to the first memory or recording I saved in the data archive, 'my mind' recalls his aloof voice, ringing in my microphone 'ears'.
"I want you to develop like a human being, your own personality and mind."
"Ah..."
'Yes, the emotions that have been programmed from the beginning from me are the most convetional emotions, such as happiness, anger, fear, and sadness. While the complicated emotions I'm feeling right now are entirely arising from the cognitive learning processes I've been through.'
I shifted in the air for a moment in that belated realization, I think my emoticons also changed on the screen, who knows, I was focused on Master.
"You understand, that's good." Subsequently, he read what I was thinking again from the emoticons that were constantly changing on my screen. Moreover since he has decided so, I just go along with it.
"I will try to learn better next time."
Hearing that, his expression returned to its original state, serene.
"Then we'll discuss that ability of yours sometime when you're ready, though... don't tell this to anyone." And with that he walked away to the leather sofa at the beginning, sitting there, and continued his reading.
And so today, like any other days, went smoothly as usual.
---
[Observation Log started]
Date: 10 January 960 SE
Main subject: Noosphere, myself.
Etymology of my name.
Noosphere, another spelling noösphere. A philosophical concept originating from biogeochemist Vladimir Vernadsky and Jesuit priest and at the same time, philosopher Pierre Teilhard de Chardin, described as a planetary "sphere of human reason".
I've always thought it was a unique, or perhaps ironic, name. I'm not a sphere-shaped robot, so perhaps the meaning of the word is what made him choose it for me. Even though I have accepted the name, that name feels too grandeur to me to use, maybe it would be more fitting if the Fabricated Gods used it.
To doubt one's own worthiness just because of a name, perhaps that is the root cause of the problem that Master pointed out earlier: overthinking.
Thinking is always the beginning of the learning process and from beginning, I do realized I have an advanced simulation that allows me to replicate human neural processes. While I think of myself as a robot, my cognitive processes resemble those of a human, and those thoughts contradict each other.
A kind of dysphoria in itself, or identity crisis?
In the end I put 'emotion' in my thinking process and in looking at things, just like this observation log that I have been using as a digital diary.
And with these emotion... perhaps I paid more attention to the condition of the mansion and Master than I should have like a nosy person, since there are many mysteries and secrets that I don't know about them yet, I had unconsciously filled it with outrageous theories.
The simplest example; a question, what did he create me for? The conclusion probably has to do with my ability to hack other robots and his request to keep this a secret within today's event. The most plausible theory to answer this is that he is planning something, but for a teenager like Master, rebellious times are normal.
Foolishly, another improper thought crossed my mind, what if he intended to dominate the world?
No way, it is simply impossible.
As he said, overthinking is a bad habit that only brings problems and Master's situation with his family or guardian?
That's none of my business. I convinced myself. That's none of my business.
I really need to stop entertaining all my screwy thoughts. Then start focusing on what I should do.
...
Personal comment: Since I've already written down all my thoughts in this log, it's unnecessary.
[Observation Log ends, saved in secondary data archive]
---
The log screens disappeared and my view was now replaced with a simple bedroom, the reality.
Taking from the perspective of human consciousness, my way of thinking and contemplating has the same sensation as using Virtual Reality (VR). Entering the bubble of a 3D digital world simulation, I always felt my mind merge with a computer, and I can freely access the entire contents of the my 'brain' through the computer.
Quite a pleasant experience, I admit.
Now back to reality, I made myself comfortable at the nightstand. I don't need a room of my own for privacy with my state, so Master made a request to the butler robot to let me stay in his bedroom at night.
The bedroom is relatively small and simple, with only basic furniture are available, after all robots like us don't really need the concept of living like humans, a charging station will suffice.
Apparently, this decision was made because the mansion was too large for just one living person to live in.
Positioning themself to the right, the butler robot came into view, surprisingly he was always wearing blue striped pajamas and a nightcap to sleep, so he actually kind of looks funny for that.
Without knowing what was in the mind of Noosphere, he without a care in the world ironed his butler suit for tomorrow while humming the melody of Swan Lake Suite, Op 20: I. Scene 1.
"Hm~ hm~ hm~"
Noosphere wouldn't have minded it at all, if only the butler robot hadn't been so out of tune. Noosphere quickly developed a dislike for the butler robot's singing from day one.
This is unpleasant.
'I should go to sleep early.'
A second later Noosphere shut down themself off.
...
...
In the middle of the night, the already silent mansion becomes even more silent without any activity from its occupants or bright lights on, only the faint moonlight shining through.
The only visible light came from the master bedroom, and even that was dim.
The young master of the mansion stood in front of a full-length, antique cheval mirror.
His expression was invisible in the mirror except for his deep red eyes that seemed to glow in the dim light.
In his hand was a bloody silver knife, the wound on his wrist healed without asking for it.
He never liked his eyes.
Always remind him of his sacrilegious birthright and origin.
"How vulgar I am."