Little Miss Red invited us out to have some ice cream at an older store in town. The place was small, but quaint, with all the tables being built into the walls in little nooks. Joey normally got vanilla with chocolate chips or cookies and cream, but today he got a strawberry ice cream. I got a chocolate with chocolate chips while little Red ordered a cookies and cream.
"I don't know, Jade feels a little bipolar sometimes" Red said. "Like she's all smiles and giggling and being super cute whenever there are cameras or crowds or whatever. But as soon as everyone leaves she's all drill sergeant and dominating vibes."
Joey nodded his understanding, he had seen her during practice before. Always said she gave him a cold feeling. "She is intimidating, but she means well." That's true enough, Jade ran a tight ship, but it worked out well. We tended to perform very well compared to other teams.
Red shrugged, "I don't know, whenever I see her marching around all daggered eyed I can just hear my mother saying "she just needs a good dick to summon her good attitude" which makes me smile."
Joey and I looked at each other and then back at her "that's um a colorful thing to say" I commented. Joey nodded along in agreement. Red blushed as she stuffed a large spoonful of ice cream into her mouth. Jeez, the poor girl was going to give herself brain freeze at this rate.
She then swallowed it all, making a pained expression in the process before speaking. "Yea, um... My mom is a rather colorful person I guess. I don't know though, I never really understood the comment."
Joey leaned back thinking it over, his eyes sliding over to me. I pinched his leg under the table and he smiled innocently. I rolled my eyes as I turned back to Red, "well sounds like she's just over generalizing a bit. I mean yea sex well make you feel good, but there are other factors. Like Jade could get the best sex in the world, if we dropped the ball on a match though she's still going to be furious."
"She'd turn the campus to ice with her wrath" Joey joked, putting on a fake spooky voice. Red giggled at his silliness, but her eyes darted away. I narrowed my eyes as I looked her over. Something about the expression her mother said seemed to cause her to be extra jittery.
"I'm sorry, I think I spoke a little fast" I pointed out "what exactly did you mean by you never really understood the comment?" Again Red stuffed her face with some ice cream.
"Um, maybe don't swallow it all this time" Joey sounded concerned. Little Red took his advice, taking her time to swallow this load of ice cream.
"Well um... I just never... I don't know..." She seemed really nervous, her cheeks matching the same color as her hair as she tried to elaborate. "I hear sex is supposed to be a good experience for both guys and girls... But I never... Felt that..."
Joey and I looked at each other again. Neither of us really knew how to take that comment. Did she just not enough sex in general? If so, there was nothing wrong with that. But something about the way she said it didn't sit right with me.
"Well maybe it's a bad match up kind of thing?" I tried suggesting. "What um, what do you like?" Red looked away, rubbing her arm as she shrugged. "I don't know. I've felt like I've wanted to before, and I've really tried. But the guys always want to throw me around, hit me, they get all mean whenever we go to have sex. I just... I don't feel good... One of them made me cry, and I think it really got him extra excited... But I was just... Crying..."
"Well maybe try talking with them first, make sure they don't like to do that kind of stuff. Some guys don't really want to get all rough" Joey suggested. Yea, honestly it sounded like she just needed someone like Joey, who could be all sweet and kind during the exchange.
I felt a little bad, I mean... I would probably like getting the treatment she was talking about... Apparently... But um, this maybe wasn't a good time to talk about that. "Not everyone is perfectly compatible sexually, you just need to find people that make it work right" Joey smiled trying his best to comfort poor little Red.
"I don't think there are guys like that though" poor girl sounded so defeated. I felt so bad for her, that without thinking I said "Joey's like that."
The table then got really quiet. Joey turned a whole new shade of white and Scarlett looked up at me with shock, confusion, and excitement all at once. Her eyes were so wide they looked like they might just roll out of her sockets.
"Oh um!..." Red looked from me to Joey, who looked like he wanted to disappear. Ok, maybe I should have said something different. In my defense, she looked really sad, and I wasn't wrong.
"Guess I just, um, gotta find a guy like Joey than" Red smiled at us. "Ha-ha... Yea" I awkwardly laughed. Whelp, there I go, ruining a perfectly nice ice cream eating session.
I changed the subject, talking about a project I had for one of my classes that had kept me up all night. We all moved on, talking about whatever else came to mind. I could tell everyone's mind was on my comment though. Likely for different reasons all around. I just hope Joey isn't too upset.
We eventually finished our ice creams and walked little Red to her dorm, before heading back to Joey's. We went inside and I sat on his chair, watching him as he locked the door and walked over to the bed. "Hey um... Joey, you know I didn't mean it in a bad way right?"
Joey smiled as he sat down "I know. You were just trying to comfort her is all." Ahuh, yea I mean I was. But something was on Joey's mind, I could read it in his face.
"Ok, so what are you thinking?" I asked and Joey just shrugged as he leaned back, resting on his hands. "Nothing, I'm glad you were able to cheer her up."
I frowned, Joey is a terrible liar. "Did you feel embarrassed?" I tried fishing for answers. Joey stood back up and took off his shirt. "No, I mean. A little at first. But I think that's mainly because it caught me so off guard."
He put his shirt in the hamper and then took off his pants. "I see. So your not upset, and your not embarrassed, and everything is alright?"
Joey tossed his pants in the hamper and then grabbed his pj's. "Yep" came his short response. I bit my lips trying to think. What could he be thinking? He wasn't lying, I could tell that much. But he wasn't telling me everything. It's not that something is wrong, so what is it?
"Did she say something that is still on your mind?" I asked and Joey smiled at me as he walked over. He cupped my cheeks and kissed my forehead "nope. Why are you asking so many questions? It's really not that big a deal."
"Does it have to do with you being a good fit for her, sexually?" I asked, and this time there was a pause. He let me go and stepped away, not looking at me and not responding. Holy shit! It was!
I felt my eyes go wide and my heart beat faster. Wait! That's what was on his mind!? Did he want to sleep with her? Did he have feelings for her? Did he think I was a bad partner!?
I flinched at my own thought and leaned back in the chair. I shouldn't jump the gun. I just need to take a breath and think a little.
"Jessy, it's really not a big deal. She just needs to find someone she matches up with. Other than me." Joey said as he sat on the bed. I looked over at him and could see the concern in his eyes. He was worried? What that I might realize he had started developing feelings for someone else??
I spun the chair so I wasn't facing him and took a deep breath. Ok, I really need to chill. This was silly of me. Joey would never cheat. Besides it's not like it would be the craziest thing for him to sleep with someone else. I mean, he was ok with me sleeping with Barrett. Granted, I doubt any slut could fuck him as good as me!
I stood up and started pacing trying to refocus. No, no, I really shouldn't think so poorly of Scarlett. The girl was honestly super sweet and innocent. It's not like she suggested anything. Hell she seemed even more surprised than Joey by my comment!
A lesser person might have taken that as a chance to start flirting with Joey, but she seemed as happy as him to get the subject changed around. "Jessy, love, please calm down. I promise, it's nothing. Your comment just caught me off guard is all."
I spun on me heels and placed my hands on my hips. "Because you hadn't considered that the two of you seemed really well matched until I said something?" I meant to ask it as a genuine question, but it came out more as an accusation.
Joey looked so sad as he opened his mouth to speak "it never crossed my mind." I felt an ache in my chest. I hated to see him looking sad. I sighed and sat down on the chair. "Sorry" I meant it to, I really didn't want to be mean or snap. I couldn't help it though. Just the thought of the idea of Joey sleeping with someone else had my heart racing.
But that wasn't fair. That wasn't right.
I slowly wheeled the chair over to the bed and took Joey's hands in mine. "Joey be honest, now that I did bring this to everyone's attention. Would you be interested in sleeping with her?" I realized how soft my voice was while asking. I didn't really want to ask, but I needed to know.
"Jessy I love you" Joey started to say.
"Stop!" I snapped, giving his hands a light squeeze.
I took another deep breath and tried again. "Joey, I'm not accusing you of cheating. But let's be honest with each other. I have been sleeping with Barrett, and I really do enjoy it. I still love you fully, deeply, I am still yours. But I want to know, if you had the opportunity to sleep with someone else, like with Scarlett. Would you want to?"
I looked into Joey's eyes and he looked back at mine. He bit his lips, and I realized this wasn't even about me. Joey was struggling being honest with himself.
I felt my body growing less tense, my heart slowing down as I smiled at my adorable boyfriend. "How about we do this" I suggested, not wanting to force him into anything uncomfortable. "You don't need to give me an answer. But I will keep the idea on the books. If you ever did want to sleep with 1 other person aside from me... I'd be ok with it. Um... Depending on the person that is..."
Scarlett was sweet and innocent, but some people I simply would not trust with my boyfriend. Like Emma, I'm still pretty sure she had wanted to steal Joey away.
"Jessy, you don't have to" Joey said softly. "The whole thing with Barrett was my idea... It would be way to selfish of me to agree to this."
I mentally flinched at his words.
"Well Barrett was your idea, and Scarlett is mine. Besides it doesn't have to be Scarlett, and it doesn't have to be anybody. If you never want to sleep with anyone else, so be it. But if you do" I leaned in to give him a light kiss on the cheek. "Just talk to me. That's the deal" I smiled at him, and he smiled back.
"You know your the best right?" Joey asked. The best huh? I don't always feel like the best. But I wanted to do right by Joey. I want him to be happy.
"Shall we get some rest?" Joey suggested and I nodded in agreement. I stood up and took off my shirt and pants. I took off my bra and put on a tank top. Joey got into bed and I crawled in after him.
He wrapped his arm around me, and pulled me in close. Giving me a kiss in the back of the neck. "I love you" he said. "I love you too" I replied back. A part of me was still nervous he might take me up on the offer. A part of me had no idea how to handle the sight of Joey with another woman.
But I silenced those concerns. Joey's happiness came first. I can find a way to live with the outcome of this offer. But I cannot live with a sad and heartbroken Joey.
I just can't.