Things would come to an end when there is distance between the two parties. When I left the country, I thought the same thing would eventually happen between Rowan and me.
I waited patiently for something like that to happen, but instead, things were normal between us. I thought it might take a few months to turn things toward the south, so I waited patiently.
As the days passed, things completely took a U-turn. Call flows were more, video calls were frequent, and messages were flooding in daily. I ignored a few at the beginning, but later Rowan cautioned me to provide proof of being alive daily by some means. So, I started by attending one call, replying to his one message, and at the end of the day, I tried to attend the video call. As the days passed, things escalated further, and I started waiting for his calls and messages. Unknowingly, I made sure to acknowledge every notification from Rowan.
Distance brought us together in some way; we were closer than before. It was a one-sided conversation, with more talking from him, and he would share his entire day with me. At the video call, he was asking about my day and about my next day's schedule.
It's been five months in the new city, and things have been good. The campus was awesome, and the professor and the annoying students were too. I need to attend the classes thrice a week, and on the remaining days, I can attend from home. My dad made sure that my caretaker accompanied me. He visited me twice, and he is getting my routine through my caretaker; I am sure of it.
Doctor Brandon calls me every other day to check; nothing has changed in my sleeping schedule thanks to him. I have made sure to throw the sentence on his face at least once a week; he would chuckle and receive the statement with a smile. It's irritating like hell. Nothing worsens my sleeping schedule; maybe I have adopted the routine completely. I have gotten used to every worst thing happening while I sleep and wake, so I guess recently nothing is beating what I have already experienced.
Brandon informed me to visit him on my visit to the country, and also gave an alternate idea that he could visit me if I wanted. A doctor goes to such an extent to cure his patient; anyone would be melted, not me. He has planned to turn my session into his honeymoon session. This guy is a genius. When he suggested the idea, I rolled my eyes and smirked at that, and he went awkward on the video call, not meeting my eyes for a while. I almost wanted to chuckle at his innocence.
This guy is not that bad at all. On my first visit, he fell in love with me, and I could see through him that he wanted to help me genuinely. He did try a lot, so much research, consultation, and other testing bullshit, but no result. I don't know why. He is lacking somewhere, and I want him to find where he was lacking. So, yeah, I can blame him all I want.
He always cheered me up and never minded my frown and my anger when I lost it. He brought me lots of games and books in those days. Remember to wish me on my birthday and so on. The guy even took me to his home twice; oh god, that was the most horrific moment of my life. His wife sucked me from her misery, tears, hugs, food, and lots of kisses. Can you believe me, with kisses?
My resistance never reached her, and my suffocation never matched her misery. On my first visit, I did everything in me not to lash out at her and get all things and run from that place. I kept my promise on that day. On the second visit, I couldn't take anything anymore, and I glared at Brandon, who took the hint. Brandon wanted to turn our visit into a frequent thing, but I rejected the idea straightaway. He looked sad and was hurt a little. What was I supposed to do? That lady needs to take a break from her misery and stop prioritizing some bullshit thing. She will not only die with the hypocrisy that she is carrying, but also drag Brandon along with her.
My dad is a cunning fellow and good at taking advantage of situations. I never thought my dad would lose his pants for some random doctor who is also married. His situation may be shitty, but still, he is ruining the guy's relationship. I hated my dad even more when I turned 7 and when I got to know about the affair. My whole hateful thinking flipped when I met Brandon's wife. The guy really needs a break once in a while, trust me.
My hate was the same toward my dad and was less toward Brandon, but I absolutely hated his incompetence. I know Brandon's wife is suffering, and he too, but still, I really hope that she didn't give birth to any children. She will choke her child to death with her overbearing happiness and whatever shitty thing a mother does to their child. Mark my words, she would. She should take a break from her crying, being isolated, and travel for a while.
I don't know where their fucking was heading. For now, they are damn content with how things are between them. My dad, in everything, always weighs profit or loss. What he is gaining or losing, but in Brandon's case, he didn't weigh things that much; he just wanted to be inside Brandon, and that's it, and the case should have been closed, but strangely, it's continuing. As I started tagging along with him, I got to know that there are so many random one-night stands and guys in my dad's life. No one lasted or was in any relationship, not even for a short period. With all these theories, I could conclude he has a thing for dimples. Well, disaster life plus pathetic life equals fuckable life.
Things with Rowan started to take a turn once I left the country. Not that things were any better when I was there. So many questions with no answers, strange things that would occur when I was with him, and much more, which I tried to bury deeply as I moved.
Things started to resurface with the Rowans' transformation. He has turned hotter. Too hot for me to handle sometimes. He is stamping on my sexuality with his new set of looks, and he is going to seal it in the coming days. I am going to be doomed one of these days.
Facing Rowan on the video calls is turning into a harder task for me; sometimes it gets difficult to hold myself back from doing any stupid things. Things get more amplified when he changes his clothes in front of the camera, like it was nothing. I tried so many times to avert my eyes, but I just couldn't. My eyes would be stuck on Rowan's body, his every move, and the result would be something pent up in my pants. I had experienced a similar experience before, but these days it was intense. I am pretty sure it's nothing to do with the hormone or hitting puberty.
As we became closer, I am sure of what I want in my life. Rowan has invaded my mind when it's not preoccupied with anything. He is always who I think of, and the desire to be with him is more. The distance is pushing me on edge, thinking about the future and about Rowan's preference. When we end the video call, I always savoured those few seconds before the screen turns blank.
The pieces were coming into place. I found answers for a few questions, but not completely. There was longing; it was too soon to feel something like that toward Rowan. The urge, more with the longing and desire to be with him and to make him mine, was stronger. There was a swift change in my feelings toward Rowan; it was too soon and fast, but it was strong.
There was a chain around me that held me back with a force, and all of a sudden, the chain broke. I fell in front of Rowan. Yearning for him with intense feelings, craving to be around him, and longing for him for decades, along with fear. The dread feeling of the future, fear of losing him, and terror of what if are making my mind turmoil.
I can't act on my feelings for now. I should hold back my feelings for a while and wait for the right moment to get my heart out in front of him. My age is more disadvantageous at present, and I need to wait till I turn a proper teenager. At least till I cross 15 or 16.
I faced the window of the plane, deep in my thoughts, with a chaotic mindset. I knew there was something about Rowan when I met him. A chubby figure would never attract me; I hate fat factories at all costs, and he was full of it. Still, my legs drew toward him. The attraction grew as I spent my time with him. The shock held me back at first, but also pushed me even further toward Rowan. The possessiveness started to root; jealousy knocked on my door when I saw his eyes were shining for someone else, and the word 'mine' started to bubble up without even giving me prior notice. His smile sucked the breath out of me. Eradication of my heartbeat made sense.
There was no turnaround. It is what it is; act on it or wait for the opportunity to open up. I don't think either of them is happening any time soon. I sighed at the seat, and with dejection, I leaned on it.
It was a one-week semester break. I didn't have any plan to visit my place, but Rowan forced me. Sometimes it's hard to say no to a lean, hot figure, especially when he is shirtless. A few curses would always leave me when I saw him that way. Things only get worse when he thinks that I am a kid who can do anything in front of me. He should definitely give me a damn break from a kid thing. I don't know how he is going to react if he comes to know that I masturbated by imagining him. What have I not done in my dream with him? Well, don't judge me, as the days are passing, and it's getting damn hard, internally and externally too.
It took me 30 minutes to get out of the airport by dodging the people; they are acting like they are running a bloody marathon. When I exited the airport, I was greeted by Rowan's broad, stunning figure. I thought he was alluring me when he told me that he would pick me up.
I stood frozen at the spot, speechless, when I saw him. Physically meeting him face to face blew my mind. He ran toward me and hugged me tightly. Just the thing I needed; I didn't miss the chance to inhale his scent deeply, which I missed a lot. He was the one who broke the hug, and with a smile, he spoke. "Hi, it's been like a year. I never thought I missed you this much." He doesn't have any idea about my side of the day and night story. "Everything is good over there. I hope you have adjusted by now." He knows the answer, but I still nodded my head. "You are fine, right?" Well, I was fine for a certain period; at least I acted immune, but now, I should try harder and act like everything is normal. I nodded my head to relieve him. This guy should stop caring, especially by keeping the kid agenda. My blood boils for no reason.
"Your place or mine?" I sighed in exaggeration. Why the hell is everything sounding like double meaning? It's irritating when it's merely a buddy-buddy sentence. "Dad," I replied and hopped on the seat