As I was thinking about my feelings i realised I am middle of a conversation
I felt like I was being too rude, so I finally asked,
"Are you going tomorrow?"
"No… you?"
"Yeah… I am."
"What will you even get by going?"
"A lot of things," I replied, trying to sound strong.
Then suddenly, he said something strange—
"Why do you go there?"
"To distract myself from something I don't want to tell anyone… and I know no one will ever understand."
"Tell me one thing…
Without starting a car, can you know if it has petrol or not?"
"No…" I answered, confused.
"Why are you asking this?"
"I just want to say… how can you decide I won't understand… without even trying to explain?"
"Because I already know," I said.
"Yeah… I'm stupid anyway," he replied.
I sighed, frustration building inside me.
"My mood is already messed up today… I don't feel like explaining anything to anyone."
"Hmm… same," he said.
"Why?" I asked.
He sent a voice message.
It was about Kate.
He said she was going to her village… where her ex lives.
And that she might get back with him… maybe even sleep with him.
I stared at the screen for a while.
Then I typed—
"I knew it."
A small smiley from him appeared.
I tried to lighten the moment, but the pain slipped out anyway—
"That thing about her sleeping next to her ex… was funny though… never mind."
"No, no… she just said it casually… that she would sleep next to her ex," he replied quickly.
"Wow."
"Cringe."
"That's actually really cringe… don't say that."
"Okay."he replied
Silence again.
"I don't think her so-called ex would even be there," I added.
"He stays there. I know that idiot," he replied.
"well if you're in a relationship… you'll have to adjust. And if you can't… you'll lose her," I said.
As he told me , even if she cheats he can't leave her, so now it's his problem.
"What's even the point of holding on like that?" he answered.
"I've lost someone for the same reason…" I whispered.
I don't regret losing him anyways...i whispered to myself
"Whatever happens… happens," he said coldly.
"You'll regret it later, anyway Do whatever you want."
"Hmm… you had to go, right? Then go… bye."
"Okay."
"Bye."
So this is how our conversations are now, huh?
No warmth.
No effort.
Just words.
He still cares about what she's doing… doesn't he?
Anyways…
It hurts in silence.
But at least I'm strong enough to pretend
like I don't give a fuck about him.
To be continue...