People say history moves in twists and turns.But that only applies to normal history.Here in Eden? Every twist was skipped.
Adam—reborn Evan, the 21st-century troublemaker—had two days to figure things out.He entered the Era of Obedience… starting with you.Humans who weren't smarter or handsomer than him were drafted as his personal workforce.He kickstarted rice cultivation and animal husbandry.He even forced God to build him a castle. And with a smug grin: "Emperor Adam reporting for duty."
Vanity, after all, is humanity's greatest virtue.
At last, he had a small comfort in his new life.At least he was an emperor, right?
Full belly, full mind… full trouble.
He wanted a companion. But the idea of someone literally made for him? Complicated.These new humans couldn't think for themselves.Basically… the perfect "partner material."
"Humans need emotions," Adam declared.God blinked."Emotions? What are those?"
Adam froze. Emotions… what even were they?After a long, agonizing thought, he arrived at a historic decision: Apples. Rows of apples.
Yes! In Eden, you solve problems the Eden way.And if waiting was too slow… better let Satan be unemployed for a while.
"Eating the apple will give them emotions?" God's face could not get any greener.
"Problem? Don't you think they all look better in these clothes?" Adam shrugged.He wasn't afraid of God at all.
"No! Absolutely not!" God roared.Once everyone ate the apples, chaos could ensue! Unthinkable.
Adam begged, pleaded, kneeled, and even threatened.Nothing worked.
So he issued a new order: Find a long, slithering, tongue-flicking creature.
A snake.
Three days of hunting later, they found a serpent—the mental image of Satan.But this Satan couldn't speak. Nor tempt anyone to eat apples.
Humanity's first terrifying demon? Reduced to a harmless, hissing snake.
Adam returned to the bigger problem: companionship.Historically, this would have happened naturally. But two issues remained:
Satan was already in his belly.
Waiting was not an option.
Solution: Steal the apples himself.
"Why fear? Worst-case, I get kicked out of Eden. I'm strong, armed, and ready. Who's stopping me?"Adam had become humanity's first warlord.Warlords act like warlords.
He led his ragtag crew to the apple tree—only to find… it was gone.
"Should've hidden a few," he muttered.Resigned, he returned home.
Problem: boredom.God had created hundreds of humans for Adam's tasks.Every single one male.Fine. First, a companion. Choosing came later.
Resolved, Adam waited for God.Three days."Probably busy."
A month."That old guy really forgets his promises."
Three months."Damn it! I'll kill him!"
That night, under a full moon, Adam roared through the castle.The silence of Eden amplified every yell.The seeds of human atheism were planted.
Soon, all troops gathered in the woods.Straw-bearers bore their loads. Torch-bearers lit their flames.The forest glowed like a red sea of fire.
"You come out, or I burn Eden to ashes!"Adam's roar carried authority—the real taste of an emperor.
Finally, a golden light appeared in the sky.As it neared, Adam felt dizzy.
Golden hair floated unnaturally.Fine, arching brows. Emerald eyes. A sharp nose. Tall figure, white robes…Six wings.Gabriel.
"The Lord requests your presence," she said coolly.
"Oh…" Adam grinned."You're here—problem solved."Finally, a solution!
Without warning, Adam lunged.A flash of white light. Pain exploded across his face.He hit a tree.
"What are you doing?" Gabriel demanded, baffled by his reflexive kick.
Adam rubbed his nose."Troops! Hold her down before I lose my breakfast!"
Primitive humans charged, sticks raised, screaming wildly.
Two days later, Adam woke.Thankful that God hadn't invented death—otherwise, he'd be toast.
He inspected his territory.Every member was missing a limb.
"Problems abound," he muttered.
Luckily, these first humans were resilient. Limbs regrew like lizard tails."Comrades, it's time for tech! Space stations! Starships! Laser guns! Everything!"
Power was needed to woo angels.
And so, Adam—the first human king—stood on the hillside with ragged men, solemnly pledging humanity's first obsession with productivity.