Since stealing the apple, Lucifer and our illustrious Adam—Lin Xuan—had instantly become inseparable brothers-in-arms. After all, both had desires, both had appetites. Finally, they had something in common—because you can't exactly have Lucifer chatting with angels about women and power struggles, right?
From that day forward, we shall call him Comrade Lucifer. And to clarify—Adam's expert eyes confirmed that Lucy was straight. He was a "comrade in arms," not the "rainbow" kind.
As their bromance blossomed, Lucifer often visited Adam's castle. Wine alone was boring—true drinking required kindred spirits. Over countless sessions of subtle persuasion, gentle guidance, and crafty lessons, seeds of doubt about God had been firmly planted in Lucifer's mind.
Meanwhile, eating an apple created seeds—apple seeds. Eden had no littering laws yet, and Lucifer had no sense of neatness. So nearly every day, the primitives witnessed Adam standing on the hill behind the castle, smirking at a tiny sapling. Even the desireless humans shivered.
Time flew. Ten years passed in a blink. For the undying, centuries were mere moments. For God, it was barely a blink.
One day, Adam stood beneath the apple tree, tears in his eyes. The tree was heavy with ripe, red fruit.
A primitive scribe took a bite, then scribbled furiously:"Year 13 of Adam's Reign: The Grand Ribbon-Cutting Ceremony of the very first 'Adam-polis'! The tree, painstakingly nurtured by our great leader Adam, has borne fruit. Humanity has taken a giant step forward. A momentous day indeed…"
Adam smirked. Finally, the little scribe knew how to flatter a superior! Now, it was time to negotiate with God for a woman.
Thus, our great Adam immediately taught everyone the Elements of Adam, the Mechanics of Adam, and tried to invent an Adamian Theory of Relativity—though he only knew the name. The fertile land of Eden and the absence of death and disaster made research easy.
With idle hands, over half of his 2,000 subjects became researchers. To inspire them, half were named Einstein, the rest Edison, Newton, and other illustrious surnames. Time marched on.
Another ten years passed. Humanity's weapons had entered the industrial age, but living conditions were still primitive.
That day, the people gathered outside the city to test the first-ever field cannon.
"BOOM!" A deafening blast—far away, an angel fell, trailing flames. Everyone froze. Adam's jaw nearly hit the ground.
Another angel fell. Only then did Adam realize he hadn't accidentally fired a second shot. Quickly, he led his people to the downed angel.
The angel lay pale and battered. "Lucifer… Lucifer has rebelled. They've wounded us. I need a place to recover." Golden blood trickled from his ribs.
Adam smiled, took a bundle of explosives from a subordinate, and tucked it under the angel's wing."Here, take this bundle of… joy," he whispered. "It's cold out here. This will keep you warm for the rest of your very short life." Then he and his army vanished.
"BOOM!" Rocks and dust flew. The angel disappeared in an instant.
Adam's logic was simple: help his brother, but cover all bases. If Heaven won, he'd fabricate a story. Lies didn't exist yet—why not?
"Listen up! Bring the cannons! Take out every fallen angel!" Adam bellowed from the hill, addressing his primitive army.
Thus, long before Darwin, Adam challenged God.
Thus, love and chaos intertwined. A classic tale of rebellion was born.
That day, Heaven burned with Lucifer's rebellion, while on the ground, a flamboyantly dressed Adam led a horde of leaf-clad primitives, dragging cannons across the hills. Explosives strapped to falling angels, cannon fire before they even realized what hit them.
He was a 21st-century delinquent reborn as the Father of Humanity.He was Adam, chasing divine servants with a primitive army.He was Adam, striking down God's servants, and even taking Lucifer's allies along for the ride.
What happens when a 21st-century delinquent is reborn as the Father of Humanity? You get this. Absolute, divine chaos.
This was a crazy era, a heroic era, an era of humans fighting for women.
Love's power manifested for the first time. Truly, we have reason to believe in the romances of legends—Romeo and Juliet, Liang Zhu, all real!
Oh, greatness!Ah, spectacle!Yes, terrifying!