On the mountain road in the Land of Fire...
The bandit leader was waiting for his Second Brother's triumphant return.
Suddenly, a group of minions crawled out of the bushes shouting:
"Boss! Boss! Bad news! Bad news!"
The bandit leader turned and asked:
"What happened?"
He looked around and didn't see his Second Brother, so he asked again:
"Where is my Second Brother? What happened to him?"
The minions stammered:
"The... the Second Master... he... he... died in battle..."
The bandit leader's pupils shrank. He asked in disbelief:
"My Second Brother... how did he die..."
A minion replied:
"He was crushed by that iron lump..."
The bandit leader turned around and asked sorrowfully:
"Did he... say anything before he died... or leave any last words..."
The "wise" minion stepped forward and said:
"Report to Boss! I heard it all! Second Master said... Your Excellency is powerful... but mine isn't as big!"
The bandit leader froze. He turned and stared at the "wise" minion with confusion.
"Did my Second Brother really say that?"
The "wise" minion nodded.
"Yes! My eyes are rulers!"
The bandit leader was confused again.
"You heard it... what does that have to do with your eyes?"
The minion replied confidently:
"Boss! I know a little lip-reading~"
The bandit leader's eye twitched. He turned back and asked:
"Where is my Second Brother's body..."
A minion opened the bundle in his hand and placed it in front of the bandit leader.
Inside was Second-in-Command.zip.
The bandit leader stared blankly at his brother's corpse and asked:
"I told you to carry my Second Brother's body back... Why did you bring me a 32-inch meat pancake?"
The minion held up the meat pancake and stammered:
"Answering Big Brother... this... this is the Second Master..."
The bandit leader's eyes instantly turned red. He stroked the meat pancake and whispered:
"Second Brother... how painful it must have been when you died... We promised... after saving enough money, we would go south, travel together, cook together, chop wood together, and live happily ever after there... But... but how could you..."
Saying this, the bandit leader turned away to wipe his tears.
Then, he turned back, eyes fierce, and roared:
"Brothers! Grab your weapons! Avenge the Second Master!"
He turned to a minion and said:
"Bring my Mother Bear here! Today I will show them the brutality of the Golden Egg, one of the Double Eggs of Double Egg Stronghold, when provoked!"
A moment later, the bandit leader rode out slowly on a female bear.
He stopped in the middle of the road, watching the semi-truck approaching rapidly from the distance, his eyes filled with fighting spirit.
He had his minion bring his battle axe and assumed a combat stance.
"Earth Style: Stone Pistol Jutsu!"
With a roar, many rocks flew from his mouth, hitting the semi-truck's windshield.
Bang! Bang! Bang!
Hashirama inside had no reaction. It was like rain hitting the glass; it didn't even leave a white mark.
Hashirama was still driving with his eyes closed, completely unaware of the danger...
Coincidentally, no one inside the vehicle was looking ahead...
The danger wasn't for the people inside the truck; it was for the bandit leader...
Seeing his Ninjutsu cause no damage, the bandit leader scoffed.
"Got some skills! But this isn't enough! Watch this!"
He jumped off the mother bear, formed seals, and slapped the ground.
"Earth Style: Quadruple Mud Wall!"
This rogue ninja did have some skill to use a Quadruple Mud Wall. But he didn't know he was facing a semi-truck... and a Full Coverage one at that...
Inside, Hashirama was getting even more hyped, his body swaying violently.
"Life oh~ Can you spare me just this once~"
"Sometimes I'm clearly tired~ But don't know why I persist~"
Outside:
The semi-truck smashed through the mud walls effortlessly.
CRASH! CRASH! CRASH! CRASH!
Seeing the situation was bad, the bandit leader hid behind the mother bear.
Mother Bear: Are you fing human?
THUD.
With a violent impact, the mother bear was shattered instantly. Because the bandit leader wore thick armor, he got stuck on the front of the truck. His upper body was dragging on the ground, creating sparks from the friction of his armor...
"AAAAAHHHH! Damn it! Don't underestimate my will! Second Brother! Watch closely! I will definitely avenge you!"
He quickly formed hand seals.
"Earth Style!"
Before he could finish, a bird flew overhead and pooped right into his mouth, interrupting his casting.
"Wu! Ah!"
He reached back for his battle axe, but when he grabbed it, he found it had already been ground down to a thin metal sheet...
The bandit leader believed the semi-truck had to stop eventually. He couldn't possibly be ground to death like this!
The bandit minions watched their boss getting farther and farther away and fell silent.
Some loyal ones chased after him.
"Big Brother! Don't panic! We're coming to save you!"
"Don't worry, Big Brother! We'll save you!"
"I'm with him!"
Seeing his minions running behind him, the bandit leader shouted, moved:
"Brothers! Make the car stop!"
The minions were confused; they couldn't hear what the boss said...
At this moment, a familiar figure with a familiar face ran out.
"I know a little lip-reading!"
Everyone looked at him.
"The Boss is saying: Brothers! Don't let it stop!"
Hearing this, the minions looked at their distant boss with red eyes.
"I didn't expect Boss to be so amazing! Even with such heavy injuries, he still has the confidence to take that thing down!"
"Boss is truly mighty and domineering! Second Master's spirit in heaven will definitely protect Boss!"
"I'm with him!"
Everyone stopped and looked with admiration at the bandit leader being dragged by the semi-truck in the distance.
The bandit leader was dumbfounded.
Why did my minions suddenly stop? Why are they looking at me like that?
The truck got farther away. The bandit leader gradually got used to the speed, thinking that as long as the truck stopped, he would be saved.
Inside the truck.
"Mizuna! Why does it feel like the truck hit something?" Hashirama asked.
Hearing this, Mizuna ran over and peered out the front window for a long time but saw nothing.
"Brother-in-law, I can't see anything. It's a blind spot!"
Hashirama said:
"Should we get out and check? What if the truck breaks?"
Mizuna laughed.
"Don't worry, Brother-in-law! Even if the Ninja World is destroyed, this truck won't break. Just step on the gas and grind the obstacle away."
Hashirama hesitated.
"But what if we hit a small animal or a person?"
Mizuna laughed.
"How is that possible? If a normal person or animal got hit, they would be torn apart instantly! Who would be unlucky enough to get stuck?"
Bandit Leader: _(′?`」∠)
Madara spoke up from the side.
"Let me do it, Hashirama. I also want to try what it feels like to drive this semi."
Hashirama hesitated.
"Madara... do you know how to drive?"
Madara revealed his Sharingan.
"Don't worry. I have the Sharingan. I've already copied it."
Hashirama reluctantly moved his butt from the driver's seat.
"Okay then... but you have to let me drive on the way back! Madara!"
Madara ignored the last sentence and sat down.
Suddenly, Madara felt something awaken inside him. It felt like he was born to sit here. (Note: Fast & Furious / Dominic Toretto vibes).
At first, Madara didn't go crazy. He stepped on the gas slightly.
The semi-truck's speed increased instantly.
The bandit leader immediately felt the friction. His back was already bloody.
"AAAAAHHHH! What happened? Why did this thing speed up?"
Madara listened to the roaring engine and felt wonderful.
Madara felt like there were screams mixed in with the engine noise, making him feel like he was back on the battlefield.
"HAHAHAHA! LOOKS LIKE YOU WANT TO DANCE TOO!"
Madara started laughing maniacally and slammed the gas pedal to the floor... almost putting his foot into the fuel tank...
Outside.
The bandit leader didn't scream anymore. He stared blankly at the sky. Suddenly, he smiled with relief because he saw his Second Brother coming to pick him up.
"Big Brother! Let's go! In our next life, let's be innocent children who never grow up!"
The spirit of the Second-in-Command said.
The bandit leader smiled and replied:
"Second Brother... let's go!"
Back in reality, the bandit leader closed his eyes peacefully. His body disappeared rapidly with the speed of the truck, finally vanishing into the roar of the semi's engine.
As the last line of the song played inside the truck:
"Wipe away the tears and laugh off the trivial days~"
Hashirama turned back to Mizuna and asked:
"What if we really hit someone?"
Mizuna smiled gently and said:
"We are all living hard!"
Bandit Leader: _(′?`」∠)
Second-in-Command: ??(?????＿?????)??
......