On a certain road in the Land of Fire.
Mizuna was driving the semi-truck, humming a song.
"Life oh~ Can you spare me just this once..."
Everyone else was sitting in the back, drinking tea and eating snacks, enjoying themselves immensely.
Tobirama was sitting next to Hashirama.
You ask how Tobirama got on?
A long time ago, when the village was first founded, Tobirama didn't trust Madara Uchiha at all, so he secretly placed a Flying Raijin mark on Madara.
Seeing he couldn't catch up to the semi-truck, he simply triggered the mark. However... upon arrival, he teleported right into Madara's arms...
So he got beaten up again...
Hashirama leaned over, watching the scenery flash by. He felt exhilarated, as if some gene in his body had been awakened.
Hashirama discovered he really liked this iron beast.
So Hashirama asked Mizuna:
"Little brother-in-law~ Can you... let me drive for a bit? I feel like driving this thing would be awesome!"
Mizuna refused at first.
"Brother-in-law... it's not that I won't let you drive, but you don't know how..."
But Hashirama was relentless.
"I've learned it! I watched you drive and figured it out! Stepping on that is stop, stepping on the one next to it is accelerate, use this plate to control direction, and use the stick next to it to shift gears, right? I understand it all!"
Mizuna raised an eyebrow.
Really learned it? Is my brother-in-law a semi-truck genius?
Under Hashirama's repeated guarantees, Mizuna helplessly gave up the driver's seat.
Sitting in the driver's seat, Hashirama felt refreshed all over.
"Oh~ Heavens! My butt feels so right in this seat!"
Mizuna watched helplessly from the side. He had no choice... even with Hashirama's guarantees, he didn't trust him one bit...
Hashirama drove, and Mizuna stood by reminding him to slow down.
At first, everything was normal. Until Mizuna got tired of standing and went to the sofa to rest for a while...
---
On a hill in the distance.
A group of bandits watched the approaching semi-truck excitedly.
"Boss, look at that iron beast! Such a big box, there must be a lot of good stuff inside!"
"Yeah Boss! Maybe even ten thousand taels of gold!"
The surrounding minions were urging their boss to rob Mizuna's semi-truck.
The bandit leader, wearing an eyepatch and a full beard, looked at the semi-truck driven by Hashirama with greed in his eyes.
"Good! Let's rob them!"
This bandit leader had quite a background. He was a Chunin who defected from the Hidden Stone Village. He knew some Ninjutsu, making him well-known in the area. The nearby small villages were all afraid of him.
The bandit leader planned to send a group of minions to wear down the iron beast first, then he would use Earth Style to deliver the final blow at the next location.
So, the bandit leader sent his second brother, the Second-in-Command of the stronghold, to launch the first wave of attrition. He reminded his brother to retreat after wearing them down and not to linger in battle.
This Second-in-Command defected with the leader. He was also a Chunin, but not as strong as the leader.
"Big Brother! Don't worry! Our reputation is loud and clear~ I bet as soon as I shout, this thing will stop immediately~"
Hearing his brother brag, the bandit leader was genuinely happy.
"Hahahaha! That's right! Our stronghold is famous for a hundred miles! Even if the Konoha Hokage came, he'd have to give me face!"
(The last sentence is pure bullsht ?˙?˙?)
The bandit leader picked up two bowls of wine and gave one to the Second-in-Command.
"Second Brother! Come back early! When you return, Big Brother will find you a wife!"
Hearing about getting a wife, the Second-in-Command was happy.
"Hahahaha! Then Second Brother thanks Big Brother in advance!"
He turned to his minions.
"Brothers! After this job! Second Master will treat you to wedding wine!"
The minions shouted:
"Thank you, Second Master!"
Then, the Second-in-Command led his minions... and set off...
(Author: Everyone knows you can't raise death flags before leaving (?°??°?))
---
The Second-in-Command arrived on the road far ahead of the semi-truck. He stood there, back straight, nose pointed to the sky.
Seeing Hashirama driving the truck toward him, he shouted loudly:
"I am the Second Master of the Double Egg Stronghold! Stop immediately and hand over all the good stuff!"
The semi-truck did not slow down.
Because just a moment ago, Hashirama discovered the truck had a music player function. He turned it on immediately, wanting to listen to some tunes.
A familiar melody came from the RV speakers.
"Life oh~ Can you spare me just this once~"
"In my next life~ I just want to be~ A child who never grows up~"
"Someone to keep warm~ Someone to rely on~ Not too many worries~"
"Using the most innocent eraser~ To wipe away life's disputes~"
......
Hashirama listened to the song, head bobbing, body swaying, humming along with his eyes closed...
As a result, he had no idea what was happening in front of him.
The group on the sofa felt the song fit the mood perfectly. They stopped what they were doing to appreciate it...
Only Mizuna felt something was wrong...
Why do I feel... like something bad is about to happen?
---
Back to the Second-in-Command.
Seeing the semi-truck ignore him completely, he was furious.
"Ignoring your Grandpa, are you? I'll let you know the power of Silver Egg, one of the Double Eggs of Double Egg Stronghold!"
He formed hand seals.
"Earth Style: Mud Wall!"
A 4-meter tall mud wall rose from the ground.
Hashirama, eyes closed and jamming out, couldn't see anything ahead. He was high on life right now!
Mizuna saw the mud wall but ignored it. His semi-truck wasn't made of tofu~
Seeing no movement, the Second-in-Command assumed the truck had been forced to stop.
He chuckled.
"Scared now, aren't you~ Good thing you stopped~ Saved your Grandpa some Chakra~"
He dispelled the Mud Wall.
Unexpectedly, the semi-truck arrived right in front of his face.
CRUNCH.
"AHHH!!!" A scream rang out.
The Second-in-Command flew. He flew high and far. The minions watching from a distance thought their boss had learned the Light-Weight Rock Jutsu if they hadn't seen the truck hit him...
Terror filled the faces of every minion. Screams rose and fell.
"Boss!"
"Second Master!"
"Lord Silver Egg!"
"Aniki!"
Various titles echoed in the air.
At this moment, the Second-in-Command's life flashed before his eyes.
He remembered his friends in the village, his time there, his parents, his childhood playtimes, and even the wife he had never met...
But Isaac Newton didn't allow him to stay in the sky forever.
THUD.
The Second-in-Command slammed into the ground, vomiting blood. His limbs were shattered, his ribs broken, and he felt his internal organs had shifted places.
He lifted his head with difficulty, watching the receding semi-truck. He wanted to leave one last sentence.
The minions in the bushes listened intently to his last words.
He spoke with difficulty:
"Your Excellency... is truly powerful... but mine is big..." (Note: Cut off mid-sentence, likely trying to say "My Big Brother will avenge me" or something similar, but came out wrong).
Before he could finish, the semi-truck drove over him.
Only Second-in-Command.zip remained on the ground. (Note: Flattened like a compressed file).
Inside the truck, Hashirama paused slightly.
"Mizuna! Why did the truck shake a bit?"
Mizuna didn't look back.
"Probably a speed bump?"
Hashirama was confused.
What is a speed bump?
---
On the other side.
The minions stared blankly at the remains of their Second Master, who was a 3D being a second ago and now a 2D paper cutout.
"By the way... did you guys hear what Second Master said?" A minion asked.
They looked at each other; no one seemed to have heard clearly.
Suddenly, a minion who looked "wise" spoke up:
"I heard it! It sounded like... Your Excellency is powerful... but mine isn't as big!"
The Bandit Minions: "......"
......