Whenever someone dies in front of me, I ask myself the same question.
What's scarier?
Life?
Or death?
It's a thought that birthed itself in the dark corners of my mind.
And always, I'd choose death.
It's a realm that exists beyond our reach and continues to elude all explanation.
Some people describe death as a beautiful thing.
They talk about its warm embrace when they've lived long enough.
But I am not of such thoughts, and I will never agree with those people.
I'll tell you this, so remember it well.
For beings such as us, who remain in this world brimming with life, the concept of death either serves as a comfort or something worse.
I say something worse because the sort of comfort death provides is one I dislike. You could even say I hated it.
The thing I learned about comfort is that it makes us forget the reality of our troubles.
It masks us in the now, making it difficult for us to move on, making our feet feel heavy when we should be running.
But in the end, we all have an end. And I know ours will be unforgettable for all the wrong reasons.
I'm neither alive nor dead.
And maybe it is this thought that makes it easier for me to stare death in its eyes and deal in its terrifying territory.
As I watched my opponent burn in my undying flames, I heard a clinking of chains behind me.
She was also done with her task.
I turned just in time for Lily to jump into my arms.
Her skin was so soft, her body warm and tiny, and her soft perfume lingered with the metallic tang of blood in the air.
My flames gave no warmth and caused shadows to dance in her eyes, and the eerie blue color looked haunting, yet beautifully irresistible.
Looking at the cute and alluring girl before me, it was odd to think she'd just killed eighteen people.
And looking at the way she latched onto me so dearly, it was even harder to imagine that our first encounter was with a resounding slap.
The location?
The school I'd just transferred into.
And the reason?
She couldn't read me like she could other people.
So she did what she thought was right: do what she could to keep me away from her because she feared me.
How funny the circumstance, that she ended up making me realize she was maybe like me.
I often think back on that day. And how odd it was.
And in the two weeks that followed, we became more than strangers.
It didn't take long for us to understand each other.
She was my missing piece.
And I was the puzzle she needed to fix.
Lily wasn't my lover.
I wasn't her lover either.
We needed each other more than lovers.
We were desperate souls lost in a world far greater than that which others saw.
She raised her head and looked me in the eyes, smiling that smile that captures my breath.
Her fangs gleamed as she leaned into me, then she spoke softly.
"Just one." She paused a moment. "Right here, Chris".
I smiled back, unable to resist.
Maybe I should have, or at least checked our surroundings, but I didn't. And that cost us a lot. Especially Lily.
"You know I can't say no," I said, not noticing the shadows stretching too far.
Then leaned in to kiss her, but just as our lips touched, she raised a hand and covered my eyes.
I held her tighter, feeling her melt from the passion.
In the darkness of the night, surrounded by fallen opponents, two devils shared a moment of forbidden passion.
This was wrong.
Very wrong.
Again and again and again, we'd known the consequences would be terrible if we were found out, yet we couldn't stop the fire that burned within us.
Loving or being loved was unacceptable for us, but we had a way of not being found out.
My flames were our escape.
They were the masks we used to cover our defiance.
As our tongues slipped back, and she pulled back, her hand dropped, offering my eyes their natural freedom.
I opened my eyes and looked at the one I loved, but what settled within me was fear
What have I done?
The last of my flames died out, and I knew they knew.
I didn't mention it to her, knowing the worry would tear her apart.
So I stayed silent, hoping I miscalculated.
And that we were safe.
But hope was a cruel thing.
It made you believe in what you want or need, even though you may never get it.