"What!? Just a handkerchief!?"
That evening, after completing her duties, Anwen stayed in Heaven for a while to chat with Ariel. She told her about Rowan fainting, about taking him to the hospital, discovering his illness, and the whole process of persuading him to be hospitalized. When Anwen finished recounting how she had kept one of Rowan's handkerchiefs and arranged to meet him at the hospital the next morning to return it, Ariel's eyes flew wide open in shock. She blurted out in disbelief, then frowned at Anwen.
"Tell me the truth during your free time, have you been reading some kind of romance novel written by humans? Just a handkerchief? What kind of value could it possibly have that would force him to show up at the hospital as promised? For all you know, it's just one of a whole stack of handkerchiefs he has at home, something he casually handed you. Give it away, lose it, whatever. Worth a few coins at most."
Anwen was holding Rowan's handkerchief at that moment. Hearing Ariel say this, she immediately shot back,
"What are you talking about? That's not it at all."
"Ugh, look at you like a cat whose tail's just been stepped on. Humans really are different once they fall in love. Who needs friends anymore?" Ariel pouted, lips jutting out, and shot Anwen a sideways glance.
Anwen bristled at once.
"What would a little kid like you know? Don't slander people like that."
"Oh please, you're no different from a child yourself. Look at your face, it's red like you're drunk. But you're not drunk on wine. You're drunk on love."
At those words, Anwen's momentum like a flame whipped up by the wind collapsed into ashes in an instant, smoke practically rising from her head. Her face was red? Like a drunk? She felt utterly mortified. Ariel's teasing felt like she was being poked and prodded, her carefully hidden feelings laid bare. Her face burned as if held over a fire, and her heart began to race without her realizing it. She stammered back,
"Love? What love? What do you even know?"
Her words were nothing but an attempt to cover up her embarrassment. After saying that, she immediately walked away, as if sulking, as if she couldn't be bothered to listen to Ariel's "teasing" anymore though in truth, she was running away from herself.
Leaving Heaven, Anwen chose a purple cloud and stepped onto it, lying down and letting it drift wherever it pleased.
She took out Rowan's handkerchief and held it up before her eyes. Her gaze shimmered like starlight reflected on water. She rolled over on the cloud, troubled by her thoughts. How could Rowan possibly deceive her? He wasn't that kind of person, at least, she believed he wasn't. In her mind, she replayed the image of Rowan nodding at her. Yes, he had agreed, and since he had agreed, he would definitely come. Ariel was just talking nonsense, what did that girl know about him anyway? She had never met him, never interacted with him. There was no need to take her words to heart.
Telling herself that, Anwen closed her eyes and drifted into sleep. She was longing for tomorrow.
The next morning, Anwen woke up early.
She realized that the cloud from the night before had carried her to some unfamiliar village. The sound of roosters crowing woke her. She leaned out from the cloud and looked down to see villagers already up, leading their buffaloes out to the fields. Laughter and chatter rang out, as if waking every blade of grass and branch from the night's slumber. From the houses below, columns of cooking smoke rose toward her, swaying in the wind, tilting and wavering as though trying and failing to reach her.
Anwen took a deep breath, savoring every trace of the fresh morning air.
Then she stood up, hopped onto another cloud, and stepped from one cloud to the next, making her way back.
By the time she arrived at the hospital, it was around eight in the morning.
She appeared in a corridor, still wearing the same nurse's uniform as the day before. Adjusting her clothes and hair, Anwen headed down to the hospital lobby.
She glanced casually at the reception desk and blinked. A small gust of wind swept by, ruffling the documents on the counter. There was no record of his personal information so he hadn't arrived yet.
Anwen stepped outside and stood at the hospital entrance, looking out.
She began to worry, worried that he wouldn't come, worried that he had truly deceived her just to make her leave. If that really happened, what would she do? She didn't know. She herself was confused about her own feelings. She lowered her head, looking at the handkerchief clenched tightly in her hand. Surely he wouldn't do that to her. He didn't seem like that kind of person. If she had her own judgment, her own perception, then she should trust herself. There was nothing more frightening than having one's faith shaken at its very beginning.
With that thought, Anwen tightened her grip on the handkerchief and gazed outward, her eyes filled with hope and anticipation.
She stood there, five minutes, ten minutes, fifteen minutes passed. Her gaze remained unwavering. If she had chosen to trust him, then she would trust him to the very end.
And then, from afar, a familiar figure appeared.
Anwen's eyes lit up instantly. Joy surged in her chest. She wanted to look up at the sky and shout to Ariel, See? See? He didn't lie to me! to make that girl finally see clearly.
She knew she hadn't placed her trust in the wrong person.
Anwen immediately ran out to meet him, and he noticed her too.
"You were waiting for me? Where were you standing that you saw me so quickly?"
Anwen nodded vigorously.
"I was standing right at the hospital gate."
Then she glanced at the bags he was carrying and reached out.
"Let me help you carry some of that?"
"No need. How could I let a girl carry things?"
And with that, the two of them walked into the hospital together.
Rowan and Anwen went through the admission procedures. He was assigned a hospital bed, different from yesterday's, since that one was already occupied.
Anwen looked at the crowded hospital. There was a place where being empty made no one happy, that place was the hospital. Every day, people fell ill. Every day, life and death played out. Illness spared no one neither children nor the elderly, neither men nor women, neither rich nor poor. Perhaps this was the only fairness Heaven granted to the human world.
Anwen followed Rowan to his bed. The white sheets radiated a chill that made her shiver. Just then, Rowan came over to her.
"What's wrong?" he asked.
Only then did Anwen come back to herself and realize he had already put away his things.
"Oh... it's nothing."
"Now I need to go get some blood tests. Can you take me there?"
Rowan held his medical file as he spoke. Anwen jumped in surprise, flustered. She had no idea where the blood-testing area was, after all, she was only a "fake" nurse. But telling him she didn't know would be strange. What kind of nurse working in a hospital wouldn't know where blood tests were done? Maybe for others it would be normal to ask, but for Anwen… she was embarrassed. She was also afraid he might become suspicious, since her behavior already didn't resemble that of a real nurse.
What nurse had as much free time as she did?
After much thought, Anwen finally said,
"Please follow me."
She had never been good with directions to begin with, and now, in such a huge hospital, it was even harder. Doctors and nurses were everywhere, there were plenty of people she could ask. But she didn't dare. Wouldn't it be strange for a nurse to ask such a question? She scanned the people around her, hoping to find someone to follow. She even sneaked glances at their medical files, trying to find someone heading for a blood test. So absorbed was she in watching people that she forgot to watch where she was going.
Then Rowan's voice suddenly sounded behind her.
"Anwen."
"Yes?" she responded reflexively.
Turning around, she realized the unfamiliar surroundings.
She looked around in a daze and froze when she saw the words Gynecology Department.
Her face flushed instantly. Where had she led him? Distracted by watching people, she hadn't paid attention to the path at all. She was mortified and didn't know what to say.
Rowan seemed to sense her embarrassment. He smiled.
"It's okay. I'll go ask."
Anwen felt utterly humiliated. Rowan had already walked a short distance away while she stood frozen in place, wishing she could dig a hole and hide. She really had brought this on herself.
Then Rowan stopped, noticing she wasn't following, and turned back.
"Let's go."
Anwen startled, but the moment she lifted her head and met his gaze, she lowered it again and followed him quietly.
After walking a bit, Rowan suddenly remarked,
"Wow, this hospital is huge. If you're not careful, you'll get lost in no time."
…
"Excuse me, where is the blood testing area?"At last, Rowan found another nurse to ask. After learning the way, he turned back and called out,
"Anwen, let's go."
Anwen, still standing a little distance away with her head lowered in embarrassment, answered softly and followed.
Soon they reached the blood testing area. After waiting a while, it was finally Rowan's turn. When the doctor tied a tourniquet around his arm, Anwen instinctively turned her head away.
She was afraid of needles and more than that, she was afraid of blood.
After the blood draw, Anwen and Rowan returned to the ward together.
As they walked, Rowan suddenly said,
"You're the first one I met."
Anwen startled, letting out a small sound of surprise, then saw him smiling beside her.
"A nurse who's afraid of blood."
Anwen stayed silent. There was nothing she could say. Even though she wasn't really a nurse, she had always faced life and death. She had seen blood far too much of it. Yet no matter how many years passed, it still haunted her. Seeing blood felt like death drawing near. Blood meant helplessness, despair, pain. The more blood that flowed, the more a life was being drained away. That was why, whenever she saw blood, she felt fear and dread, it was something she had been avoiding for many years.
Then he asked,
"Why did you choose to be a nurse?"
"Because…" Anwen thought for a moment, then answered,"Because I don't want any life in this world to die."
"I see."
...
The day passed quickly, and dusk settled over the streets.
The sun, like a glowing ember, rolled down behind the mountains and was softened by a gentle river. The sky changed color. In the past, Anwen had often stood on clouds to watch the sunset from above. The clouds beneath her would glow red or pink, sometimes even forming rainbows. The sky truly was one of Earth's wonders. Watching sunset from on high, she sometimes felt as though she stood over a volcanic bay or a red land she had once visited, or as if the drifting clouds were fields of crimson carnations. From the sky, sunset had always felt quiet and peaceful to her, a time when flocks of birds sought shelter, when clouds drifted toward the horizon, and when she commemorated the souls of dogs and cats lost that day.
Now, watching sunset through mortal eyes, Anwen felt a rush of emotion. Above all, it felt hurried. People hurried home, hurried to pack up or set up stalls; traffic streamed endlessly; lights flared to life, swallowing the last faint glow of nature.
Standing by a hospital window, Anwen looked out as a car sped into the grounds. Its doors flew open; a man carried someone inside while another shouted for help. Doctors and nurses rushed out of the emergency department at once.
Here, no matter the time of day, there always seemed to be only one feeling urgency.
Anwen lifted her face to the sky and sighed softly. Where there was sunset here, there was sunrise elsewhere. Don't be sad when night falls, the moon deserves love too.
She returned to Rowan's bedside and said,
"How are the dogs and cats at your house? Do you need me to go help?"
She remembered clearly what she'd told him yesterday, that she would help care for them while he was hospitalized. Perhaps it was time to keep that promise.
Rowan lifted his head slightly and smiled.
"Thank you so much, but it won't be necessary. I'd hate to trouble you. I left enough food for them. Maybe… next week I'll stop by to check on them. I told them to stay inside and not wander off. They're good, obedient kids, it should be fine."
"Yes," Anwen replied softly.