Through the small window in front of her, Anwen could look down into the hospital courtyard. Nurses were walking back and forth below, assisting patients. Right, why didn't she disguise herself as a nurse?
The thought had barely formed when it was as if Anwen, groping in the dark, had suddenly found a light. She murmured a spell and cast her magic. In an instant, Anwen appeared in a nurse's uniform.
Joy and hope flared in her eyes, bright with anticipation. She immediately ran downstairs, intent on finding him.
But after circling the hospital again and again, she still couldn't find him anywhere.
Where had she missed him?
By now, Anwen was exhausted. She was inhabiting a human body and had to rely on her own physical strength to move. Running back and forth like this had drained her badly.
It was already afternoon.
She hadn't realized she'd spent so much time here.
Finding a place to lean against, Anwen began to think and retrace events. When the doctor had spoken about his condition, he had cut the doctor off and asked directly whether it was cancer. Then, without another word, he had taken his medical file and left. Each gesture, each movement, now made Anwen understand something.
He didn't want to be hospitalized.
Anwen felt foolish. What was she still doing here? Of course he'd gone home.
Panic rose in her chest. No, he couldn't refuse hospitalization. If he didn't follow the doctor's treatment plan, the tumor would grow and metastasize faster, and his time would only shorten. She couldn't let that happen. She rushed outside, but the moment she stepped out of the hospital, she froze.
She didn't remember the way to his house.
The night before, she'd taken a taxi. Now, standing before all these left-and-right turns, she had no idea which path to take. While she was still flustered, a familiar "meow" sounded.
Anwen looked up at once. On the wall ahead sat the black cat. It glanced at her, then turned and ran.
Anwen's heart leapt. It's him!She didn't know how the cat had seen or recognized her in the hospital, nor how it had appeared there to guide her. Why it knew exactly when to show up, she had no idea. Perhaps there was a special bond between her and dogs and cats. Or perhaps it was just coincidence and Anwen had always believed in coincidences.
This time, she didn't hesitate. She ran after the cat.
Across long stretches of road, scenery shifting from unfamiliar to familiar, Anwen finally saw his house ahead. The black cat, which had been running along the wall beside her, stopped. Anwen smiled warmly at it.
"Thank you."
Then she ran straight to his house.
But upon arriving, she hesitated at the gate.
What should she do now? Walk in and tell him he needed to go to the hospital? Wouldn't that be abrupt and unreasonable? She looked down at her uniform being a nurse only made it harder to speak. There was no perfectly smooth road; avoiding one problem often led straight into another.
She couldn't just linger at his gate forever. Even if she didn't feel awkward, passersby would. Should she ask Ariel for help? Would that kid be any better?
As Anwen stood tangled in indecision, a pack of dogs suddenly burst out of the house, charging straight toward her. She jumped in shock, eyes wide before she could react, a shout rang out:
"Ollie! Cookie! Sunny! Stop it!"
But the dogs had already reached Anwen. He came running after them, clearly panicked. His urgency frightened Anwen too though she'd only been startled at first. He caught up and stopped short when he saw that the dogs weren't barking at all. They were surrounding Anwen, tails wagging happily.
Only then did Anwen understand why he'd been so alarmed, he'd been afraid they would bite her.
But instead, they were welcoming her.
Anwen felt unexpectedly happy at being greeted like this.
At last, his gaze lifted to her. He stared, eyes fixed on her face, an indescribable emotion flickering within them. Stunned, he blurted out:
"What's your name?"
Anwen was just as surprised. She hadn't expected the first thing he said to her to be her name and she didn't understand why he looked so moved upon seeing her.
"My… my name is Anwen."
"Anwen…"He repeated it softly.
Hearing her name spoken by him stirred something strange inside her like something long lost had been recalled, though she couldn't grasp what it was. He looked at her again, then smiled faintly.
"I'm not going to be hospitalized."
Judging by her uniform, he must already have guessed why she was here. Anwen had expected this and she knew persuading him wouldn't be easy. He turned and went inside; she hurried after him.
"If you don't get hospitalized, the tumor will keep growing and spread faster."
He ignored her words and walked into the house, then toward the backyard. Anwen followed. The place felt familiar now. On the green lawn stood an easel with a half-finished painting, a palette beside it. She recognized it, it was the landscape painting she'd seen before in his room.
Was he finishing it?
As she wondered, he sat down on the chair before the easel and said flatly:
"Cancer or not, I'll die sooner or later."
"No..." Anwen protested instinctively, then fell silent.
He wasn't wrong. Brain cancer meant death, sooner or later. But even if it was true, she couldn't accept it. Her thoughts tangled; the words she wanted to say refused to line up. Then he continued:
"Why do something when you already know the outcome is failure? It's a waste of effort, money, and resources. If I'm gone, no one will take care of these dogs and cats. No one will tend this house or garden. This is everything I have, if I abandon it, what meaning does my life have? And treatment costs a lot."
He turned to her and smiled.
"I don't have that kind of money. If I get treatment, the dogs lose a full meal. No one will look after them. They've been abandoned once already, I don't want them to go through that again."
"But if you die, they'll be abandoned anyway," Anwen shot back. He smiled gently, stroking the dogs at his side.
"I'll find them good new owners. Or the rescue station will take care of them. I believe there are still many people who truly love animals."
"But they won't want that. Look into their eyes, they don't want you to die. They don't need new owners. They only need you. If you stay home, you'll waste away, do you want them to watch you suffer? Illness will make it impossible for you to care for what you love properly. You don't want that, do you? Why do families and cancer patients keep fighting, even in despair and pain? Because a life with loved ones is life itself. Treatment may not cure you, but it can give you more time, months, years to live, to come home healthy. Isn't it better to endure pain in exchange for moments of true joy? Please, listen to me. Go to the hospital."
Anwen hadn't realized she'd spoken so long. She only knew she was saying what she felt, what she hoped for. She looked at him, eyes full of expectation.
He met her gaze, stunned into silence. The world around them seemed to still.
Then he laughed softly.
"You're a nurse, aren't you? Why do you care so much whether I get hospitalized? Isn't it my choice?"
It was like a bucket of cold water had been thrown over Anwen's fire. Her resolve faltered. She lowered her head, stammering:
"Well… don't doctors and nurses want people to live?"
She looked up again, resolute.
"Please think it over. People say it's better to be poor with loved ones than rich and alone. Think about it. Even… even they think so, don't they?"
She looked down at the dogs and cats at his feet. They gazed at her, then pressed their heads against their owner's legs.
Anwen continued:
"And money, we can find a way. You can paint. You can keep teaching. No matter the circumstances, we have to hope. If you despair, your paintings will lose their colors, they'll be filled with sorrow."
She had tried so hard, said so much, yet he remained silent. Tears threatened to fall. She felt helpless. She blamed his stubbornness, fate's cruelty, her own inability to persuade. She'd arrived full of hope, only to feel crushed.
Then he suddenly turned to her, startled.
"How do you know I paint and teach?"
Anwen froze. She couldn't say she'd been following him. Her thoughts jammed, unable to reach her lips.
Then he spoke again:
"All right. Go back to work. I'll be hospitalized tomorrow."
Anwen jerked her head up. Tears welled instantly. She hadn't misheard, she was sure of it. The hope that arrives at the last second breaks people open with joy.
She looked at him through tears, too happy to know what to do. He stood there calmly, a faint smile on his face, peaceful like the painting he was working on.
After a moment, Anwen sniffed and blurted out:
"Can I borrow a handkerchief?"
"Sure."He went inside, thinking she needed it to wipe her tears. He returned and handed her one. She dabbed her eyes, then, instead of returning it, clutched it tightly.
"I'll keep it. Tomorrow morning, when we meet at the hospital, I'll give it back."
He paused, surprised, then nodded.
"Okay."
She asked again:
"What's your name? I still don't know."
"Check the handkerchief."
She unfolded it at once. Simple embroidery childlike, yet neat. She read the name:
Rowan.
"Rowan…"She murmured."That's a beautiful name."
Saying it filled her with a strange warmth and safety.
There was no reason to linger now. Anwen said goodbye.
"Tomorrow morning, we'll meet at the hospital."
"Mm." Rowan smiled.
Anwen turned and left, her heart lighter than it had been in a long time.