MALE LEAD POV - Tej
The clouds were running swiftly, the wind ready to carry them away towards a far-off place, maybe somewhere around a lonely tree. And there, they would pour down... far away from the city.
That's what I kept thinking
To stop myself from drowning in negativity and overthinking, I had come up with this method.
Whenever things started slipping out of my hands, I turned to nature to calm the restlessness within me.
And honestly, what else could I even do?
I looked out the window, as the train carried me back to the place I came from the town where I'm living in peace.
The only place in this entire world that feels like it's healing me...
Healing my wounds,
My past,
My everything...
Maybe even my sins.
I've seen many terrible things in my life...
Things that crawl into my sleep into my nightmares.
I often find myself trapped in darkness, thick like coal.
Clawing at my own skin, digging in so hard that blood starts to pour out.
Then suddenly
I'm falling... into the sea, deep beneath the surface.
Sinking.
Down... down...
Everything around me fading into nothingness.
It doesn't feel like a dream.
It feels like a deathmare.
I see myself dying...
Or maybe... ending it myself.
Dying is a fear for every living being.
After my parents died, I stopped living freely. The guilt ached in my heart because I was the reason behind their death. That's why my brother left me alone... He hates me the most.
Since Mom and Dad passed away, he never spoke to me again. He hasn't even looked at my face.
FLASHBACK -
That day, I was so happy because I was finally returning to India.
It was my parents' anniversary.
I dressed nicely and waited at Mumbai airport, excited to surprise them.
But then the call came
They'd met with an accident.
A truck hit their car while they were on their way to pick me up.
And that's the reason my brother hates me.
The burden of that moment never left me.
From that day, I stopped sleeping properly.
From that day, I felt like I was dying.
That's how I ended up in this town, in this new family... because I was too afraid to live alone in that big house.
I often see my parents' faces in my dreams.
They come and blame me for their deaths.
"Because of you, we died," my mother says with a creepy smile.
I've already gone through therapy sessions, but the doctor said it's trauma.
"Your brain is blaming you for their death," he told me.
"You just need to be around people to help your mind heal."
When I came here, slowly the nightmares disappeared.
Aunty's homemade food was delicious.
I actually started enjoying life here...
But now...
What Aria wants from me... it's hard.
I feel like if I agree with her, all my regrets will come back.
What if something happens to her too?
What if I hurt someone close to me again?
These thoughts haunt me every day.
They keep reminding me of what happened...
Because of me.
I came back to town and saw Uncle sitting in his farmland. He looked tired-probably from all the cutting. Farming is hard work; you have to care for it like a child. It's not easy to grow crops-just like raising people. And even when they grow, you can't always tell whether they've turned out well. That's why everything needs attention, because everything-every outcome-depends on how you treat it.
"Where were you?" Uncle asked, looking up at me.
"I was just wandering here and there," I replied with a smile.
Whenever I saw him, that smile naturally found its place on my face. I saw my dad in him. Uncle is a good man, a pure soul. It's hard to find someone like him in this world. This home has given me more than just food and shelter. I needed emotions. I needed someone to care. And they cared deeply. They never scolded me for smoking cigarettes or drinking beer. But if I came home late at night, yes-they scolded me, not in anger, but out of concern. They just wanted to know where I was. That's all.
Like a true landlord, I got everything I ever wanted without even asking.
"Okay, sit here," Uncle said, patting the chair beside him. I sat down. We both stared out at the fields. He owned many acres, each section planted with different crop rice, wheat, vegetables. I watched quietly, feeling peace in every corner of this land. I want to live like him one day. So simple. So calm. A small house, his land, farming... No chaos. No noise. Just life moving at its own slow, peaceful pace. Even the children here are growing in their own way, without pressure.
"Are you hungry?" Uncle asked, opening a tiffin box filled with snacks Aunty had prepared. I took a piece and started eating. The flavors she adds to her food are always amazing. She really is a great cook, even though she always denies it. The sun was setting it was evening, chai time. I was just thinking about tea when Aunty appeared, carrying a tray with three cups.
"Let's drink chai quickly. I still have to prepare dinner," she said, clearly tired, yet still working. I don't know where these two get so much strength. It amazes me.
I picked up a cup and was about to take a sip when she gently warned, "Easy, it's still hot."
I remember those days when my mother used to warn me like this when it was raining, and I kept insisting on going outside to play. She would say, "If you dare step out, I'll throw all your toys outside!" A mother's love never fades, even after she's gone. Her care and presence still linger, no matter where you are.
Her love still lives in my heart... all around me. I can still hear her whisper, "Don't hurt yourself." These little things warm my heart, and my eyes fill with tears. It becomes so hard to control the emotions... especially the urge to cry.