Masi's advice to eat three boiled eggs was kinda good. I said I'd try it, but honestly, I've never had a boiled egg before... and I hate the taste.
My mom is really strict-she doesn't let any non-veg enter our home. Dad eats it with his brother, I mean with my uncle, at their place. My aunty makes egg curry and chicken. One time, when I was a kid, I ate it unknowingly... and my mumma beat me. After that, I stopped. I never ate it again-not in front of Mumma.
How dare Masi advise me this... she was really brave!
When I came back from there, I started packing my stuff.
Tej had just returned from his office. My room door was open, and when he saw me packing, he casually walked over and stood at the door.
"Are you going?" he asked, folding his arms. His eyes looked dull and tired, his hair messy like always. He really didn't take care of himself-about his looks or anything. Just like me.
"Tomorrow," I replied in a low voice. I wanted him to know.
"Good," he said, then went upstairs... to his tiny room, where only his loneliness stays with him.
I changed my clothes and went upstairs-for nothing really-just to tell him that if he wanted to meet me, he should come to the station on time.
When I entered his room, he was lying on his bed, tired but still conscious. He whispered,
"What now?"
I looked around. His room was clean. His clothes were in place. The cigarette packets were there, but this time in the dustbin.
I opened the window. The wind rushed in. His eyes opened.
"What?" This time, louder. He was frustrated... maybe with me leaving.
"Are you mad at me?" I asked.
"Why would I be? I'm just tired-and you're disturbing me," he said, clearing his voice.
"Tomorrow, at 7 a.m."
I informed him... or maybe I was giving him a last chance. A chance to tell me what he really wanted. What I wanted from him.
Did he feel the same way? Or was it just me? Was I alone in this? Was it all one-sided?
He didn't respond. He looked away from me. No eye contact.
I don't know what was going on in his head.
All I wanted was to read his mind...
To know what he actually felt for me.
Tomorrow morning, I woke up early. I said goodbye to Mom, Dad, and Babu-he was still sleeping. Idiot. He knew I was leaving today, but still, his sleep was more important than me.
I kept looking upstairs. Mom noticed it, then said, "The boy I found for you will meet you there. I'll send you his phone number."
"Hmm," I just nodded, but my mind wasn't really here... it was wandering somewhere else.
I grabbed my bag.
"Mom, go wake up Babu so he can drop me at the station."
He woke up with red eyes, yawning. "Ohh... this early?"
"Go, wash your face-quick."
He went to wash up.
I was definitely going to be late. After that, we sat and reached the railway station. The sound of the train echoed. I grabbed my five pieces of luggage-Babu helped load them into the train. After finding my seat in the nearly empty coach, he stood outside and waved his hand.
The train started to move. I smiled... but my eyes kept searching-maybe Tej was here somewhere. But I didn't see anyone.
The smell of samosas filled the air. A peanut seller came to me to sell some. I refused.
The train moved past the station, and Babu disappeared from view. I was going far away from my village.
The time was fixed-7 a.m.
But he didn't come to say goodbye.
After some time, I felt someone watching me from behind. I turned around.
The plain maroon shirt... that small smile on his lips... he was looking at me-no, admiring me.
"You came," I whispered, my voice filled with happiness... or maybe I was crying-I couldn't tell anymore.
He walked to my seat and sat down.
Looking outside the window... then at me,
"I wish I could stop myself..."
"Why do you want to stop yourself?"
I looked into his eyes. They were teary. Maybe... maybe he had cried.
"Because... I want-" his voice cracked.
He never meant to fall for me. I could see it clearly. It wasn't in his plan. But if he truly didn't want this... then why did he come?
"Then go back," I said-angrily, maybe even a little harshly.
"If I could... I would," he replied softly.
We sat together for the entire 3-hour journey.
He didn't leave.
Neither of us spoke a word. Silence hung between us.
Still unsure... whether we wanted this or not.
He was fighting with himself-"Do I love her or not?"
Of course, he didn't want to fall for me. But there was a part of him... just one part... that did.
And that part was tearing him apart.
He was controlling himself. I really didn't know what was going on inside him, but I could see-he was tired. Tired of everything. He looked lost, like someone unsure of what he truly wanted.
Maybe he wasn't confused about me-maybe he was just scared of regretting whatever decision he made.