"Well… yes, I am not a king." The Dragon Lord shrugged. "I am not that egotistical. I merely ask for total domain over all I see, starting from this spot and expanding until it covers the entire globe. That isn't too much to ask, is it?"
"Well, a little bit?" Goku asked, tilting his head. "Me personally, all I really want is to have a good day training and spend time with my friends and family."
"HA!" The Dragon Lord declared. "You are a fool then, intruder! Friends and family… I have no need for such things! I have my subjects!" He snapped his fingers and one brought him a specter, another a shield with a crudely painted dragon on it. Both of which, unlike everything else, actually looked fancy (save for the horrible dragon drawing). "They obey me… for they know the power I wield!"
"Dad!" Gohan hissed urgently. "Isn't that-"
"It is," Goku said, staring at the specter, the head of which was the Two-Star Dragon Ball.
The Dragon Lord noticed where we were looking and chuckled. "Noticed that, did you?" He patted the specter with his hand. "This is the proof of my strength and power. I discovered this orb 3 years ago and with it I was able to dominate the wills of my subjects, to get them to obey! They know the terrible power it has!"
"It has terrible power?" the woman that had been leading us to the chamber asked, confused.
That caused the Dragon Lord to frown. "Well… yes. Of course it does! That is why you follow me, Wronch."
"I follow you because I lost the lease on my apartment," she said. "Free room and board. Have you SEEN the rent some places are demanding?"
The Dragon Lord pressed his lips together. "Well… okay, I do remember you mentioning that in the break room when we discussed our plans-"
"My car broke down and you said I could use your phone if I helped you move a few things," Hommer stated. "Huh, come to think of it… its been 9 months. I bet my wife and kids are worried about me."
"I thought we were trying out for a play," someone else said.
"I am going to be deactivated surrounded by the dumbest people on Earth," Isco bemoaned. "Which is saying a lot, considering who you normally keep us around, sir."
"ENOUGH!" The Dragon Lord bellowed. "You dare put delusions in my subjects' minds? I had been considering allowing you to join us but now you will die for your actions!" He leapt to his feet and pointed the specter at us. "Suffer the power and wrath of the Dragon Lord!"
I let out a scream.
"See! See! He knows the terror-"
"WHY ARE YOU WEARING A SPEEDO!?" I cried out, shielding my eyes. "Oh god I can still see it!" I chanced a peak and saw the Dragon Lord look down at his lime green speedo, fingering the hem slightly before tugging them up. "Oh lord above that makes it worse!"
"What does Kami have to do with that?" Goku asked, confused.
"IF HE WERE THE REAL GUARDIAN HE WOULD PROTECT US FROM THAT!"
"ENOUGH!" The Dragon Lord roared. "You will all perish by my hand for trying to steal my kingdom and my treasure."
I rubbed my eyes and focused on staring at the Dragon Lord's feet. "Listen… I don't think you've thought this through. That Dragon Ball… it did nothing to help you convince these-" 'Don't call them idiots, don't call them idiots!' "-people to be your subjects. You've convinced them to abandon their jobs, their families-"
"Oh man, I told my mom I was getting milk!" someone cried out. "I bet it spoiled by now." He lifted up a jug of… yellow slime.
'Don't call them idiots,' I mentally repeated. "You did that. On your own. You managed to bring together your group through sheer force of will. That's impressive. In fact, one could make the argument that the Dragon Ball is a crutch… and excuse for others to NOT recognize your power. That rather than point at you and admiring all you have done they will dismiss you as just the guy holding up the relic, the true source of your power." I took a step forward. "Do you want to be known as the man who raised a kingdom all on his own… or the man who has a Dragon Ball?"
The Dragon Lord looked down at his specter, letting it droop just a touch.
"…I kinda want both," he said, his subjects gripping their spears and advancing towards us.
"Fuck it. Goku!"
"Right!" he declared, falling into a defensive stance. Chichi did the same while I… well, I wasn't sure WHAT I was doing but better than sitting their scratching myself. "Isco, get Gohan someplace safe!"
"Which means I will also be someplace safe so I am fine with that, Mister Son," Isco stated, using his spindly little arms to grab Gohan and, rather easily I must admit, heave him up and fly towards the ceiling of the cave chamber.
"If it's a fight you want, it's a fight you will get!" the Dragon Lord shouted, leaping down the throne of suitcases. He was… surprising agile for a big man, I had to admit. He spun his scepter before bringing his shield up to bear. "Eliminate the threats, you wretches!"