My rude awakening started in the passenger seat of a flying car.
"Hey!" a young woman's voice called out, causing me to start awake, looking about rapidly as I tried to get my bearings. "You're going to want to get ready because we are almost there!" I frowned, looking about the front of the car we were in, which looked too complex for a normal vehicle but too simple for an airplane. I had the sneaking suspicion that some of the buttons and dials were just for show. Through the windshield all I saw was blue ocean… and a small speck of land in the distance. "So listen, I know my friends are going to seem all exciting and all that but don't forget that you are here to film me, okay?" She flashed me a charming smile that I had the feeling she spent hours every morning practicing in front of a mirror. "So make sure that drone of yours doesn't go wandering off."
"Right…" I said slowly, looking back to see a small blue egg-shaped drone hovering behind me, a pair of spindly arms that were utterly impractical but I just knew would be able to lift up a car sticking out of its sides and a little antenna on the top. In the front and center of it was some glass with a black 'eye' with a lilac 'pupil'. Very much the stereotypical 1980s design for a robot. "Am I good to check on… it?"
"Yeah, sure!" the woman, who I had quickly realized upon truly looking at her was Bulma Briefs from Dragon Ball, said with a grin. Judging by her outfit and age that meant we were at the very beginning of the saga.
'You're in Dragon Ball Z,' I thought to myself, wondering WHY I wasn't panicking more. I could tell this wasn't a dream, as too many of my senses were feeding my information for it to be so. Yet the fact that I was in a fictional work wasn't having me break down into sobs as I rocked back and forth in a corner. 'Maybe its just the way this world works… or whatever force dragged me kicking and screaming into this place.' I looked down at my hands, which weren't shaking in the slightest. Steady as a rock. I knew I should feel anxiety but it was like something had locked those worries away.
Bulma didn't notice my ponderings and just kept talking. "You don't need to be strapped in when I'm flying this baby!"
Right on cue a seagull suddenly appeared in front of us and Bulma let out a cry, jerking the steering wheel and causing the flying car to shudder and tremble as it dove down before righting itself.
"Watch where you are flying, you jerk!" Bulma roared, glaring backwards even though we were already nearly a mile past the avian.
Deciding not to say anything lest I get yelled at I undid my buckle and moved to the back of the… well, I could tell it was larger than a car so more like a flying van I supposed… and headed towards the drone that was hovering in the back.
"So… I'm hoping you can talk…"
"I can, sir," the drone said back with a polite, vaguely British accent. "far more than you can, and in a more dignified way."
"Awesome." I already knew I was going to love the little guy. "So let's pretend I have no idea what is going on."
"Act like you are an idiot. Understood."
"I… didn't word it like that."
"Act like you are a gigantic clod."
"Not helping," I grumbled.
"Act like you are the dumbest sack of meat on this entire planet-"
"I get it!" I snapped. "Now then… doing that… who am I? Who are you? And what are we doing here?"
The drone considered me for a moment. "You are Avo Kayos, documentarian. I am your camera drone, Isco. Together we have produced 6 highly acclaimed movies about famous figures in our world. After our last one, about Gen Veenson of the White Tail Brigade we were hired by Bulma Briefs to create a documentary about her life."
'That makes sense,' I thought to myself. 'Or at least as much sense as me waking up in the world of Dragon Ball.' I glanced at my reflection in Isco's mirrored surface and saw I basically looked the same though younger. Late 20s, most likely. But same blonde hair, same gray-blue eyes, same circle beard. Even my clothing was rather normal, with blue jeans and purple t-shirt with the words KAYOS FILMS printed on it. I wasn't some strange alien creature or a magical ball of chocolate or anything else that Dragon Ball could have thrown at me. Just a normal human being.
I blinked.
'Aw fuck I'm a normal human.'
"We're coming in for a landing!" Bulma called out and I shared a look with Isco before returning quickly to my seat. "So I went over everyone that was going to be here, right?"
"Son Goku, Krillin, Master Roshi," I said, ticking off the people I remembered arriving for the reunion.
"Right. But remember, I'm the star of this documentary! Goku might be some amazing martial artist but you better remember who is paying you to film all this!" She flashed me a dark look and I quickly nodded; I didn't think I was ever going to get used to anime women being able to bring the wrath of the gods upon people.
It took only a minute for Bulma to land and once she did she leapt out of the vehicle and onto the sands of Kame House, throwing out her hands and grinning… only for no one to appear.
"Those jerks!" she growled, balling her hands into fists. "They are supposed to come out here and greet me and tell me how wonderful I look…"
"Maybe they are letting you have a dramatic entrance," I suggested and at once Bulma perked up.
"Right!" she beamed. "That's perfect!" She hurried to the open door, calling out to Master Roshi and Krillin that she was there while Isco floated over to me.
"…that was an impressive lie, sir."
"Tell her the truth and she'll kill us both," I muttered through clamped together teeth.
"Understod. Wise suggestion."